Another wonderful location with water views and great big trees for pissing on was the venue for the Brewtus tour of the battler suburbs where the deplorables

who reside there struggle with their lives’ over ever increasing property values, self centered importance and decreasing speed limits along Hedges Avenue.  There was a great turn out in support of Moonbeams’ resurrection from palliative care to hasher ironman within 48 hours. Quick instructions from the hare soon had the pack headed for the beachside suburbs of Mermaid , Nobby and Miami. Little yellow arrows along gutters were spotted just randomly enough to keep all on trail. A loop around Miami SHS soon had the pack heading home again. The walkers who were back had already made a fair dent in the free $1 birthday Crownies supplied by Sir Prince Valiant(SPV). Spicy hot chicken wings were served as an entrée at the same time on the same table as stand in Hash Cash (Sir PV) attempted to extract cash out of the hashers who were more interested in feeding their faces than departing with their hard earned (well for some anyhow).

The main meal was a gourmet steak burger , a far superior product to the chic designer burgers that the Golden Arches chain are trying to pass off to their customers as gourmet these days. Next up , that great indigenous branded ice cream known as Bulla was served as dessert. The birthday Crownies were going down faster than Monica Lewinsky in the White House on a lazy Sunday afternoon. The GM suggested a quick load up of tables and chairs into the trailer in readiness for the circle. Some hashers even managed to carry two chairs at a time, doubling their manual handling skills since their last piss poor effort at Sir AH’s run.

As usual the hare and his assistant, Weekly , were first into the circle for critiques on their efforts. Victorian visitor, Brendan, said the run was good and Kwakka

remarked that he enjoyed the lights in the park on the well marked trail. Caustic Crusader was asked to explain the scratch mark on his forehead which was a result of his run in with a female and a naming for Missing Link’s daughter, now known as Dry Humper. Proud Dad took a down down in her absentia.

Exit GM, enter RA.

Sir Botcho got a down down as a result of the stress that he has been experiencing as a result of him having to correct the rantings of recalcitrant hashers who continually use social media platforms to spruik useless misinformation. Sir Slabb was re-presented with his 900 run milestone as a result of the GM’s previous week’s op shop haberdashery sale. Super salesman KB was next up for giving Woodsie a bargain deal on his new wheels. VD charged Caustic Crusader for not being punctual for his morning bike ride due to the time differences between the border states. Apparently by the time he got his wheel on , it was nearly lunch time and a much older hasher had already completed a triathalon that morning up Brisbane way.

Hard On was called out about the little drink he had on Friday evening. It all sounded pretty innocent when he stated that he was home by 9 pm but upon further closer examination, it was revealed that he had shared in drinking many bottles of red wine and he was getting home from LUNCH! Needless to say he felt like shit on the golf course in the sun and humidity next day. Miscarriage told all about a new GPS app now installed on his telephone so his family can keep tabs on him. However sometimes his twin brother gets him into trouble when the GPS shows him goes to watering holes and they are different to the addresses he tells the family that he is currently at. SPV got a birthday down down before it was time to call out visitors, Brendan and all the way from Main Beach, Peter, a friend of Sweat Hog. Sweat Hog reminded hashers to bring their Go Cards/extra cash for his St Patrick’s Day run next Monday from Main Beach.

Hash Jester, Iceman, told an old joke but a goldie which all enjoyed.

Caustic Crusader charged Now Loved with attending some sort of Brokeback Mountain cultural behaviour. The charge was skipping hash and attending the ballet on a Monday night to watch men in lycra performing Tchaikovsky’s The Nutcracker Suite. Another lycra boy, Sir Black Stump , was next up for being among the place getters at the Raby Bay triathalon. Sir Two Dogs couldn’t resist the large stumped trees and got sprung cocking his leg while taking a leak. So just to reload his bladder, the final down down went to him.

In the absence of regular circle closers, the GM suggested as it was time to go home and watch Q & A, that was the end of proceedings for RPR 39.

A female snapper (photographer) from the NT News spotted a natural erection near Wak Wak on the Arnhem Highway. It was a phallic termite mound. She said – The sun was hitting the knob, shaft and balls in just the right angle for it to stand out against the bush. After that graphic description, one can only imagine that this sheila has seen a far bit of wildlife in her time in the territory, maybe even some cockatoos (a cock or two).

A long time unemployed bloke saw an advertisement in the newspaper for a Farrier. As we all know this occupation involves putting shoes on horses.

So he put an application together and got an interview. The employer’s first question was –

Have you shoed a horse before ?

His reply  – Not really bit I once told a donkey to piss off !

There is a textile free cycling event on in Nimbin, Lismore and Byron Bay. Yes, that’s right for all you hash cyclists it is an undress code.

Yours in hashing

CIRCUMFERENCE