The old saying – couldn’t drive a hot knife through a pound of butter was probably the best description of what hashers saw as other hashers arrived at the Southport Tigers club car park. Not quite sure whether some of the drivers need to visit Spec Savers or they got their licence in a Kellogs Corn Flakes packet giveaway, but they were some extraordinary scenes with the driver of parking the under carriage of the motor vehicle on top of a median strip

Swollen Colon had a megaphone and siren to summon hashers out to the middle of the football oval where he had erected a HHHH sign. Yes, that’s right an extra H which caused many comments from hashers. So the runners and walkers got their instructions and eventually found their way out of the fenced enclosure. The trails went mainly around Smith and Johnson Streets before back to the rear of the oval for the Chivas scotch and water drink stop. Some daytime fireworks were let off as the runners searched unsuccessfully for some mysterious close-by waterfall which didn’t make the GC Bulletin’s weekend edition list of waterfalls.

The nosh venue was a well set up BBQ area adjoining the football club where hashers hooked into the well chilled refreshments. A siren on the megaphone was the signal that the nosh was ready to go. Crisp garlic naan breads and some bony meat dish which had many guessing as to what is was were the fare. Some well travelled hashers suggested camel , others goat and maybe even horse meat. Anyhow it was consumed and washed down by more strong drink. Next up was cake and custard for dessert.

The GM called the circle and the hares were given a down down. Iceman advised that the pack had looked and looked for the waterfall but gave up and returned home in several different directions. Due to the numbering of upcoming runs in the near future, the GM did a Please Explain segment to the confused hashers.

Next up the RA called out Flasher and Truck Tyres to renew their bromance vows and they both admirably stepped into the circle.

Fuller Shit and Sir Black Stump were given a down down for their dramatic arrivals into the carpark in front of all the assembled hashers.

Slug was next out in the circle for examination of either a small love bite or a melanoma on his neck.

Flasher dodged a bullet with a quick change into some hash clobber instead of his civvies he was sporting at the time.

Ball Point returned to tell the circle about his upcoming Chinese New Year extravaganza.

Visitor Wee Wee reminded us of that old Shell television ad with Barry Sheene about putting a sock in his gob. He never shut up all night and deserved an icing for his disruption. It then came out in the circle that he has banned from all future Nash Hash’s for some of his past extra stray horizontal dancing activities.

Finally the elephant in the room had to be addressed and the RA called out Swollen Colon to clarify what the meat was in the nosh. He advised the clue was in the extra H in the HHHH sign. Finally, after a hash guessing competition, he revealed he had introduced Halal goat to the hash.

Poor old Flasher nearly spewed when he realised he had munched on the Mecca morsel remnants of some poor goat butchered according to Muslim law.

In the absence of the carryover POW, Swollen Colon, got off scott free for his tampering with the gourmet hash standards.

Moonbeams closed the circle to RPR 31 before a fireworks finale lit up the sky and sent local dogs in a frenzy with the multiple explosions.

We often hear about men having depression, anxiety and the black dog to contact the Lifeline telephone number for help. When you consider recent local hash events , might I suggest that that they also check out the hash website for a good dose of therapy as well.

Over the last couple of weeks we have seen Santas dancing with hare krishnas and meter maids, public nuisance behaviour, strippers, lots of BWS (beer, wine and now spirits), halal food, fireworks and lots of good times. Over the next couple of weeks, the fun continues.

Towards the end of the month, the it would appear that the abacus has been thrown out with the bath water with the numbering of the runs. But don’t worry, just keep turning up regularly and everything will take care of itself. So here goes as to what’s happening down the track

Monday 23 January  Run 2050 Committee

Thursday 26 January Hash RDO , due to the number of events so close together. Kick back and enjoy the day.

Friday 27 January Splinter Hash. Let Sir Botcho know ASAP if you are attending.

Monday 30 January Run 2049 Chinese New Year. Let Ball Point know ASAP if you want an authentic Chinese T-shirt for $15.

                                 So far orders have been received from Fanny Charmer (L), Sir Two Dogs (L), Missing Link (L),

                                 Brutus (M) and Weekly (XL)

Monday 6 February Run 2048 Josephine