Run: 1997

Date: 8/02/2016

Location: Molendinar

Hares:Rug

Hashers: 31

This run was a load of garbage!!!!….well, no, really it wasn’t that at all….in fact it was a brilliant run that Rug set tonight, and the reason for the reference to garbage is that a large part of the run was through the Molendinar tip and transfer station site, combining some rough terrain, clambering through bush and holes in fences, across major roads, traversing creek beds, clambering down steep inclines and trespassing through a school and also putting our lives at risk running through the notorious Silver Bridle estate. The whole night had a “Chinese” theme, this being Chinese New Year and heralding the start of the year of the Monkey and also “1997” being the year that Hong Kong was dumped by the United Kingdom and given back to China, much to the dismay and disappointment of its residents.

The run:

The run started from Silver Bridle Park in what I think is Ashmore, but which we all know as Silver Bridle Estate, which is what the developer decided to call it…I don’t know why this area has such a bad name because it certainly seemed pleasant enough to me, with some lovely houses and nice views from the many hills which we had to go up and down on this bloody run….starting at about 100 metres into the run where we were sent off up a hill that I swear was about a  45 degree incline!! The moaning and groaning started then and up and down the line I could hear things like “bloody Rug…probably thinks this is funny…doesn’t he know we’re all getting old!!”..as we all stopped running and walked up the first incline.

After that there was some street running and then we went into the grounds of Trinity Grammar School, skirting around its sports complex before crossing Ashmore Road and into the industrial complex where we were led up  and down several streets before getting into the bush again….at which point Rug, who had been crossing out the false trails on the checks was heard to say.. “well, we may be in trouble from here on”…the reason being that when he had been marking the trail that day through the tip and transfer depot grounds, he had been stopped by an employee who said “this is private property mate, you can’t be here” to which Rug replied “oh, I’m setting a run…we’re going to be running through here” only to be told “oh no, no, no, you can’t do that, this is private property and you’ll need to get permission…I can give you a number to ring”. Rug, needless to say, promised to ring and get permission from the relevant bureaucrat, but of course that never happened!! Rug’s philosophy is more along the lines of “better to ask for forgiveness than permission” so there we were on the run, effectively trespassing on private property…but we weren’t stopped at all and Rug’s hunch that everybody would have packed up for the day by the time we were running was spot on!

As darkness set in, we found our way out of the tip and headed home, well kind of, as we seemed to be heading further away at one point, with some hashers lamenting “oh no, he’s not taking us through the railway tunnel where we have our Halloween night, is he?”…no, the tricky little spy merely put a bit of a dogleg in to try and confuse us and we turned in the direction of home…the long, long way home…topped off by some shiggy up a hill…obviously the result of a burst pipe or draining swimming pool…anyway,

we all ended up with soggy and muddy feet! In all, a run of about 7.3 km and immensely good fun…some well found virgin territory in the middle of our lovely metropolis..well done on a good run Rug!!

The Nosh:

Tonight’s nosh….what can one say…a strong contender for Nosh of the year!!!!….starting with nibbles of home-cooked prawn crackers….”these bloody things took me two hours to cook!” commented Rug and then San Choy Bow for entrees…for those of you who don’t know, it is pork mince with nuts and onion and ginger and other stuff, all eaten by using a lettuce leaf as a bowl…bloody great stuff!  Poor old Weekly is  going to have to do some explaining to Mrs Weekly as half of his ended up on the front of his shirt!

Mains was then Szechuan chicken with veges, including bamboo shoots and baby corns all served on a bed of jasmin rice…delectable! This was all capped off with ice cream and lychees… “they took me hours to peel” says Rug. In all, a lovely meal and deepest gratitude to you Rug for such a fine meal and which left some hashers commenting… “thank goodness the gourmet is back in hash!”

The Circle:

In the delirium caused by an excess of food and alcohol, the RA, Sir Two Dogs, called upon everyone…. “right you pricks, form a square!!”..First out was Col Klink to comment on the walk…apparently not a bad walk but too many hills! Iceman was then asked to comment on the run and was of the view that this was indeed one of the better runs that he had done as the pack stayed together, both at the regroups and at the checks…and indeed that was something I also observed, along with the cries of “on on” through the bush at very regular intervals to make sure that all those following knew where to go. Brilliant!

Miscarriage commented on Iceman running “like he was scared”, little knowing that Iceman’s training regime is one of mild running with quick bursts of sprinting at regular intervals.

Big O was called out the front to accept our congratulations on having a hero son and we all unanimously passed on our hash respect to his son, who, as you all know, was the one who rescued the trapped driver out of the truck cabin in the M1 last week, managing to get him out just before the whole thing went up in flames! Hopefully he’s in for a bravery medal for his efforts. You must be very proud Big O!

At this point our RA took over proceedings…and Miscarriage was called out the front to explain his costume tonight…he looked like he’d just stepped off the train in Bangalore, apart from the silly chicken hat, rather than anything Chinese, although like the rest of us, everything he was wearing was probably made in China! He did explain that China is a big country and that the stereo-type Chinese is from the East, whereas his costume is worn in the West of the country…sounds like bullshit to me!!

Next out were Circumference, Slug and Slab, all for being born in the year of the monkey, albeit in different decades!

Next one out to the centre was Flasher to award the Prick of the Week, and let me say, having canvassed opinion amongst my gathered brethren, without due process, to poor Slug…in the spirit of Hash though, Slug came out and took a down-down and donned the ridiculous regalia that goes with the award.

Next out again…Miscarriage…this time to call Weekly and Swollen Colon out the front to exchange money…Weekly to give Swollen Colon the crisped twenties and to receive two new notes from Swollen Colon…you will all recall several weeks ago that Swollen Colon chucked a smoke bomb into the booze bucket and burnt all the money…and the two twenties were so burnt that the bank would not take them. Justice prevails finally!!

Returning runners this week…Seedy (gotta love Bathurst!), Swollen Colon, Crit,  and Bent Banana, who has been cavorting on the high seas.

Finally, and on a very, very sad note, you will all have seen the email sent around by Miscarriage regarding two visitors to the Hash from Germany some time ago…well, sadly one of them has committed suicide and we were all reminded that yes, the Hash is about fun and frivolity but it does have a serious side…we are all here to look after each other if things get tough so we were all reminded to make sure we don’t bottle things up…talk to each other, for fuck’s sake!! On that sad note, we sang a hymn to Peter and circle finished for the night.

I do have to mention Flasher’s antics tonight…he came into circle with an iPad hung around his neck and playing various porno movies on it as we all stood around!!! It was, to say the least, somewhat distracting!! Flasher said that the clips came from the bag of material that forms part of the prick of the week paraphernalia and features the following feature films……

Sir Rabbit in “Buttman and Throbin”

Sir Prince Valiant in “Saturday Night Beaver”

Sir Two Dogs in “Two dogs fucking”

Caustic Crusader in “The Crusty Cunt”

Ferrett in “When Ferrett ate Sally”

Fanny Charmer in “The wrong hole”

Missing Link in “where’s my willy”

Blue Card in “How I make money from little boys”