Run 1897
Date:10/03/2014
Location:Labrador
Hare: Veteran
Runners:31
Our GM was MIA reportedly in the Gulf of Thailand on his surf board looking for a lost aeroplane. This was triggered by a report that Flasher may have been on board and given his recent tirades against half the population of the world and his religious beliefs he may well have been targeted.
The acting GM Sir Black Stump had been keeping one eye on proceedings stood into the breach and called up the Circle. Swollen Colon was asked to comment on the run and said he was at the back of the field until everybody went in all different directions and he went from zero to hero and was leading the pack. Botcho contributed that he thought the arrows were one kilometre apart and at one stage runners had to cross 4 lanes of traffic at Harbour Town at it is lucky all returned alive. He gave the run a generous score of 5 out of 10.
The Croc representing the walkers said there were a few arrows in the beginning but as usual the walkers had to make their own trail. Two Dogs was selected to comment on the Nosh as he was usually the first to eat and had the longest time to think about the quality of the meal. In a good attempt at the Brevity of the Night Award, he said “yeah adequate”. Shat always very philosophical said Aldi pies are better and theirs are awful. But a voice from the crowd really said it all and offered a positive note, the pies were better than Nasty’s pies.
Visitors included two boat people Fanny Charmer and Latrine and were heard speaking in a foreign tongue like boat people.
Sir Prince reported on the Brunswick Heads weekend organised by Nasty who was a no show. Sir Prince summed up the weekend as an alcoholics weekend for 8.
Full of Shit announced he had a bike for sale and then somebody said how come he is selling it. He volunteered that he sells them as a business. Poor old Show Pony goes into hospital and somebody is trying to grab his business.
The returners included Rug, Head Job, Jigsaw, Veteran and Latrine.
The RA kicked off by calling out Full of Shit for turning up to the run on a Segway and was asked “is this the step when you are runner, then a walker and then can’t walk anymore?” It seems Full of Shit had left a fine quality collapsible chair last week and this was positioned on the Segway to create a new form of transport.
- Shat AKA Peter Foster was called in as a stand-in for Peter from last week who after taking 7 down downs last week for some reason didn’t show this week.
- Fanny Charmer for having a plastic utensils box with FC labelled on the box. Nothing like self promotion.
- Head Job for leaving the gates open at Manus Island, no wonder he is no longer working for the refugee containment policy.
- Jigsaw as a lookalike for Show Pony.
- Botcho for raiding the crab pots of Show Pony on Saturday night while poor old Show Pony was in hospital.
POW was awarded by Hard On and after a few worthy candidates, was given to the stand out performer Madame Latrine who went around the table after lunch on Friday picking up all the leftover plates and then proceeded to eat some of the leftovers. Circumference wanting the last word called out Sir Rabbit as there was apparently a new bounty for naming anybody keeping a rabbit. To be fair, the hare Veteran was also called out.
End of Circle called by Josephine, as a Show Pony lookalike.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… CAUSTICS JOKES
A man was dining in a fancy restaurant and there was a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table.. He had been checking
her out since he sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her.
Suddenly she sneezed, and her glass eye came flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reached out, grabbed it out of the air, and handed it back.
‘Oh my, I am so sorry,’ the woman said, as she popped her eye back in place. ‘Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you.’
They enjoyed a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they went to the theatre followed by drinks… They talked, they laughed, she shared her deepest dreams and he shared his. She listened to him with interest.
After paying for everything, she asked him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time.
The next morning, she cooked a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy was amazed. Everything had been so incredible!
‘You know,’ he said, ‘you are the perfect woman… Are you this nice to every guy you meet?’
‘No,’ she replies. . …….
Wait for it …… …….
It’s coming ……. …….
The suspense is killing you, isn’t it?
She said …… …….:
‘You just happened to catch my eye.’
Hash Ambulance
A Non Causic Entry
Hasher applies for a passport…..
| AUSTRALIAN LETTER – I think the sender might have been upset!This is an actual letter sent to the DFAT (Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade) Immigration Minister. The Government tried desperately to censure the author, but got nowhere because every legal person who read it couldn’t stop laughing !Dear Mr Minister,
I’m in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this. How is it that K-Mart has my address and telephone number, and knows that I bought a television set and golf clubs and condoms from them back in 1997, and yet the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand ? My birth date you have in my Medicare information, and it is on all the income tax forms I’ve filed for the past 40 years. It is also on my driver’s licence, on the last eight passports I’ve ever had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I’ve had to fill out before being allowed off planes It’s also on all those insufferable census forms that I’ve filled out every 5 years since 1966. Also… would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother’s name is Audrey, my father’s name is Jack, and I’d be absolutely bloody astounded if that ever SHIT! What do you people do with all this information we keep having to provide? I apologize, Mr Minister. But I’m really pissed off this morning. Between you and me, I’ve had enough of all this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my bloody address! What the hell is going on with your mob? Have you got a gang of mindless Neanderthal arseholes working there! And another thing, look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I can’t even grow a beard for God’s sakes. I just want to go to New Zealand and see my new granddaughter. (Yes, my son interbred with a Kiwi girl). And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether or not I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? In the unlikely event I ever got the urge to do something weird to a sheep or a horse, believe you me, I’d sure as hell not want to tell anyone! Well, I have to go now, ’cause I have to go to the other side of Sydney , and get another bloody copy of my birth certificate – and to part with another $80 for the privilege of accessing MY OWN INFORMATION! Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot, to assist in the issuance of a new passport on the same day? Nooooo…that’d be too bloody easy and makes far too much sense. You would much prefer to have us running all over the bloody place like chickens with our heads cut off, and then having to find some ‘high-society’ wanker to confirm that it’s really me in the goddamn photo! You know the photo… the one where we’re not allowed to smile?…you bloody morons. Signed – An Irate Australian Citizen. P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture, and getting someone in ‘high-society’ to confirm that it’s me? Well, my family has been in this country since before 1820! In 1856, one of my forefathers took up arms with Peter Lalor. (You do remember the Eureka Stockade!) I have also served in both the CMF and regular Army for something over 30 years (I went to Vietnam in 1967), and still have high security clearances. I’m also a personal friend of the president of the RSL….Lt General Peter Cosgrove sends me a Christmas card each year. However, your rules require that I have to get someone “important” to verify who I am; you know…someone like my doctor – WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN BLOODY PAKISTAN!…a country where they either assassinate or hang their ex-Prime Ministers – and are suspended from You are all pen-pushing paper-shuffling bloody idiots! |