Run : 1847
Date : 25th March 2013
Hare : Sir AH
Venue : Old Coach Road, Sid Bigg Park, Tallai Road, Mudgeereba Road, Milky Way, Franklin Drive, Somerset Drive, Rainbow Drive, Cnr No-where and Somewhere Streets, Any Car Park, Anywhere, Mudgeereba
Runners: 20 odd
Weeks till Rectum’s pencil is sharpened – 1

The disaster started well before Monday Night. Too many people, so little knowledge!!!

Sir AH advised Blackstump after run 1846 the previous week, that his run started at Sid Bigg Park, which was duly placed on the Hash Hotline.

Botcho was advised the start was map reference G 46, Old Coach Road, which he duly published on the web. As an update, Sir AH provided a map of the run to Botcho after the 100th Anniversary Splinter lunch, which Botcho put to good use as a Bus Ticket home to Helensvale.

Phone calls and emails were exchanged between the Booze Masters and Hare, nominating the start and On On location, as a Car Park in Mudgeereba.

So the pack duly assembled at Mudgeereba for the anticipated Annual Sir AH 2013 Celebrity Hill Climb and Mud Rally.

Pack 1 comprising Blackstump waited at Sid Bigg Park
Pack 2 comprising the Booze Masters and Aussie, the Northern Alliance and Miscarriage assembled in a car park in Old Coach Road, hedging their bets as to that being the correct location
Pack 3 comprised of the Broadbeach Rabble, waited patiently at the corner of Old Coach Road and Franklin Drive
Pack 4 consisting of the Southern Kitchen Brigade waited patiently at the BBQ’s west of Tallai Road
Pack 5, Flasher, as usual was totally off trail and completely lost
Pack 6 being Botcho was found fervently searching his car for the missing Bus Ticket cum Map
Pack 7, by some divine interference, or was it simply the nubile young virgins doing their warm-up exercises (??) on the grass, assembled in the car parking on Mudgeereba Road next to the Soccer fields

Finally, after Telstra reaped another huge burst to their income stream and their Mudgeereba repeater burst into flames, caused by the numerous furious mobile calls to find out where the run actually started from, the disparate pack finally assembled in the correct location to hear the words of the Great Sir AH.

Acting GM Blackstump, immediately halted proceedings and announced a change to tradition, calling Miscarriage forward to lay a charge on the Hare for the cock-up that had just occurred.

Let the run begin was called and runners and walkers headed off in a familiar direction towards the cemetery, with veiled warnings emanating from the Hare to be aware and not tread on Josephine’s father grave as they did at his last run.

Despite the shaky start, the run returned to true Hash values as the trail wound its way through Mudgeereba and surrounds. The Hare made clever use of interconnecting lanes and greenways to wend our way from the cemetery towards Campbell Duncan Park.

Shiggy, the threat of a severe lighting storm and a smattering of rain made the trip that much better. The trail emerged from lowlands and followed the pipeline upwards and over Old Coach Road then down again into the valley paralleling Wallandra Road, then turning north towards Tallai Road and home.

First runners home in 1 hour and 10, last walkers home, being Kitchen Bitch and Crocodile, who did the full trail in 1 hour and 49.

A good bucket with some leftover Irish cheer was well attended, while the Hare prepared a very tasty Spaghetti Bolognaise with salad and olives. Thank god Cumsmoke stayed away !!

Kitchen Bitch, in his usual unselfish, humanitarian, caring for fellow hashman, ever giving, kindness offered to help Sir AH prepare and serve the repast, but was bluntly told to F.%4323K Off. After much returning for seconds, perhaps AH knew KB’s portion control was not required. Dessert of a choice of Cheese Cakes was duly served and devoured by the hungry masses.

Acting GM Blackstump called Circle, and in keeping with his break in tradition at the start of the run, immediately called forward POW, Sir Prince. SPV had a wide variety of suspects to choose from – Sir Rabbit for not paying his dues for St Pat’s dinner at The Clock, Vasso for completely destroying the Tatts Lotto coin count by putting in $ 5.50 instead of $5, Rectum for being Rectum, Sir Slab for forcing Missing Link to mow his lawns while nursing a broken collarbone, ruptured spleen, dislocated elbow and a dose of Amnesia, after firmly attaching his bike to a car door.

Finally Miscarriage was called forward and presented the POW, with a litany of charges including, but not limited to:-

1. A “loose lips sink ships” comments about SPV’s ageing virility
2. Being the cause of at least 3 of the 5 Down Downs SPV received on the St Pats run
3. Leering at SPV’s French Maid with intent to commit
4. Generally being at the centre of anything and everything that causes SPV chagrin

The Hare was called and Sir Slab asked to give a rating on the run. “Back to a properly set Hash run”, “good trail, good markings”, even if they were not of International Standards, “good shiggy, good hills, good length, good territory, good weather”, good God he went on, “good start, good finish” and finally the scoring, a massive 9.9. “Oops!!” said SS, “I can’t give him that, I only got 8.9 for my last run so it’s an 8.5”. Kitchen Bitch was asked to comment on the Nosh and still suffering from Rejectionitis gave it a quick F…#$%. OFF with 6.3.

Absentee Down Downs for GoatFarka who is now a loyal Trinity Hash member and holder of their “Run of the Year” award and one of our senior ex GCHHH members Jim Collins, who is now attending the Wacol Institute in Brisbane after a small bout of 22 Molestation of Woman charges.

DD’s for Aussie for being last to pay. Handing his $20 to the acting GM and waiting for change was also a bad move Aussie.

Acting RA Rug, was asked to take over the Circle but obviously the acting GM was suffering Dementia and couldn’t remember he had handed over the reins. So followed a hilarious session of a Dumb and Dumber episode, with the RA starting to say something and Blackstump immediately taking over and changing the subject. Very difficult to follow but I’ll try my best.

Down Downs for

RA Visitor Reg friend of
GM Miscarraige for falling down a Fox Hole and being covered in
RA Shit Rock Hard, your earning too much and keep spending it on
GM Serial offenders like
RA Caustic Crusader and it looks like he has just spent time with
GM Three monkeys in Cuba where he took a liking to a
RA Swindler, but I feel sorry for Miscarraige, because he
GM Shat
RA one for Rock Hard while he was sitting on a
GM Blackstump with his
RA Testicles dripping with
GM Cumsmoke’s hare next week

Thankfully Moonbeams our CCCCCCC (Constant Commissioner for the Co-ordination of Circle Conventions and Closings) was present and called EOC.

Thanks to AH for a really great run and nosh despite a verrry shaaakkky starrttt.

On On

Acting On Sex – Crocodile

PS All this is a true reflection of the evening’s events except for those words between “Run” and “EOC”

PSS Don’t forget to practice this week for the “Delayed because of the Weather Yet Again” Anzac Day bike ride to be held on Anzac Day (no joking) at Pizzy Park. Further details from Blackstump and the Webmaster.