PLEASE NOTE; Due to your glorious Hierarchy’s ability to manage funds, the weekly food contribution has now risen to $135.00 (which includes the fact you do not pay the $15.00 on the night). However if you do not spend the full amount please don’t claim it as we will know by the quality and quantity of food and launch an immediate enquiry, and subsequent reprisals.

In the event you have a great event/idea planned and wish to spend above the allocated amount you must pre arrange this with the Hash Cash, Blackstump, who will kindly advise you to go “jump” (or on very rare occasions consider your request). Nights at pubs/restaurants will attract a $5.00 fee.

Run: 1761
Date: Monday 1st August 2011
Hare: Flasher
Venue: Oxenford
Runners: 22

Weeks to AGPU: 46
A cold night welcomed the pack as they gathered in the dimly lit shed. Would this be another famous Flasher debacle or would he finally make amends, was the question on many lips. Instructions were somewhat confused at the mention of threatening residents, out trail coming in and squiggles instead of arrows along with shredded paper, the debacle angle grew support.
The pack ran through the bush then across a busy road, yet another frivolous attempt at trying to decimate the numbers by reducing the pack to mere road kill. A few back streets and checks before resident athlete, Veteran, tumbled over a traffic island injuring his foot. One down and 20 to go. Not long before we ran past the pub (not a good sign) and into the new estate. Another check and another long on back, as discovered by Rectum.

Miscarriage then told the pack on left and headed right along the correct trail (is there a charge here somewhere?). Back over busy Maudsland road we rejoined the walkers but somehow the runners found themselves following the squiggle trail outwards which in fact was meant to be inwards and on the left and not on the right as it was meant to be (following me here?).
Inevitably the pack trudged up the road and hills towards the bush with the famous “Mumbles” hill in the back ground. As we hit the bush section the calls for ice could be heard along with plans for shortcuts and diversions. However, silly as we were, a few of us continued up and up the hill then finally down again before hitting the welcoming tar. Aussie in the meantime had taken a different track and found himself deep in the dark bush alone, except for the distant barks of many angry muts. Using his ingrained Hash survival skills he emerged again on the road and headed for home, but not before leaving his mark on the road, “Aussie was here”, for all to see.
Meanwhile the remaining pack had made their way back to Kopps Road and began the arduous trudge up and down the hills towards home. Botulism and I nearly got lost on the way home, ignoring Rock Hard’s advice, but fortunately he himself diverted off trail saving us some embarrassment.

Back at the shack the savoury mince was entering its second hour of cooking and was still just warm enough as the pack quickly hoed into what many commented was a great dish, highlighted by the addition of prunes (wait til the next morning before commenting, some said). This was followed by an allegedly high octane sherry trifle and custard
During the circle, the RA, Josephine was asked to give the nosh report. It was a glowing report in fact and was compared to the previous weeks effort (or lack thereof), and giving it a staggering 9.5/10 mark. However on reflection the RA did confess he was still delirious from last week’s nosh and this would have affected his judgement. The mark has been revised at 7.5/10, still a top effort. Arseup gave the run report, saying he only intended doing the walk but got confused somewhere, but still gave it a glowing 8/10 report. Apparently accolades all around to Flasher, but how will he now be able to keep the standards up in his future efforts?
The cold air soon got to the aging pack who had decided enough was enough and it was time to return to their electric blankets and solitary night (not wanting to break the RA’s decree).
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Downs Downs;
Flasher: Hare
Flasher: Allegedly 500 runs (to be investigated), and awarded his own lost mug in recognition
Rug: Giving correct answer on “foot” location
Aussie; Made by RA to confess last Monday nights indiscretions upon returning homeearly, given 2 down downs and RA has decreed Monday night frivolities are never to occur,unless deemed extracurricular. Failed to use credit, which is still available
Bent Banana: Price of Bananas being through the roof (as charged by Miscarriage)
Rectum: POW to himself after given job of handing out in absence of real POW. Decided his efforts to get lost in the bush and scale dangerous terrain was sufficient to self initiate himself for POW. A totally selfless gesture, fitting of a future hierarchy
Bent Banana: Drink not in left hand during RA’s session
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That is all,
On On from “The Desk”
Two Dogs