PLEASE NOTE; Due to your glorious Hierarchy’s ability to manage funds, the weekly food contribution has now risen to $135.00 (which includes the fact you do not pay the $15.00 on the night). However if you do not spend the full amount please don’t claim it as we will know by the quality and quantity of food and launch an immediate enquiry, and subsequent reprisals.

In the event you have a great event/idea planned and wish to spend above the allocated amount you must pre arrange this with the Hash Cash, Blackstump, who will kindly advise you to go “jump” (or on very rare occasions consider your request). Nights at pubs/restaurants will attract a $5.00 fee.

Please note as from next week, to ensure the words are being read, a “secret” Hash foot will be implanted in the weekly photos. During the circle the RA will randomly ask for the description of the photo where the “foot” is located. Non compliance will result in the usual and swift reprisal.

Run: 1758
Date: Monday 11th July 2011
Hare: Miscarriage
Venue: Emerald Lakes

Runners: 32 (including a wounded and early retiring Sir Slab)

Weeks to AGPU: 47
It was supposed to be Blackstump’s run at the Ponderosa ranch. However due to an attempt by the group of overachievers trying to emulate a geriatric version of the Tour De France peloton, Blackstump was involved in a rather nasty bike prang at Nerang Velodrome, rendering him incapable and consequently banished to Pindara Hospital for some forced rest and recuperation. Miscarriage was therefore thrust into the hare’s role at short notice.

Using this excuse, plus the fact that he had just returned from Sydney, no doubt with his twin in tow, watching the State of Origin in some dodgy pub in the midst of enemy territory he decided that the “quick fix” was another “postman’s” run. This occurred despite the revered Trail Master decreeing that this format should never be repeated, following the Mudgeeraba effort (albeit trying conditions). A good pack started the run with most willing to participate to see just how long before it deteriorated into the expected debacle. Seven envelopes were handed out at the start, with the first taking us to the western boundary of Emerald Lakes and the second under the road and through the golf club, somewhat resembling the reverse of a previous run. Somewhere the instructions must have got lost in translation as runners seemed to disappear once envelopes were read out. The diminishing pack headed into the depths and hills of Carrara still heading in the reverse of the past run.

The Hare seemed to be at the front most of the way ensuring the pack didn’t go astray, much to the opposite of the normal run routine. Some 15 runners stayed with the pack in fear of ending up lost in the depths of beyond, and continued along the hills and bike paths before emerging on Nielson’s road for the lengthy trek home, finishing in just over the hour.

In the meantime KB had been busy decimating a nearby tree in order to provide some much needed warmth on what was the coldest run night of the year to date and, in the process, contributing some $46.00 worth of carbon tax. It is good to see we are in safe hands when 30 + strange people resembling a hobo convention can start a huge fire in a residential enclave and not attract any real response.

Back at the hut, which after all these years still bore no working light, Miscarriage brought out the chicken wing entrées bringing back memories of Pizza’s “quail” wing debacle at Evandale, except these were reals chicken wings. Next up was the tasty chilli mince and mash, including real mince in generous quantities. The finale was the hot apple pie and ice cream favourite.

As the weather plummeted to below zero (well, felt like it anyway), the crowd gathered by the fire and watched the security vehicle do yet another drive by unfazed (or unwilling to respond) by the fire and gathering. Too much paper work to explain this one he figured. Sir Prince Valiant was the only person who ran here on run number #1, when this was the Surfers Paradise Raceway, and gave us an insight into the run on that memorable virgin night.

Miscarriage was asked to give a run report on his own event and commented, of course, how wonderful it was and how he kept the pack together. Sir Prince however did add that many a runner seemed to disappear at the varying stages. Jigsaw commented on the food giving it top praise and scoring it at 6.5/10. KB was also praised for his fine efforts at providing the excellent fire and was awarded a down down credit by the RA. Thoughts also go out to Now Loved who’s apparently feeling a little better. Send him a text or email guys.

Down Downs:

Stumpy (or is that Shorty); Visitor from Sunshine Coast Hinterland

Mags, Rob; Returning runners

Rob; Due to history in the seafood business was named “Prawn Star”

Prawn Star; Drinking from wrong hand during RA’s circle

KB; Drinking from wrong hand, lost his credit

Blowfly; Queue jumping in front of Hierarchy

Missing Link; Last year’s Hash Cash trying to do in this year’s Hash Cash, Blackstump, at aforementioned velodrome incident. Perhaps, for delving into last year’s financial affairs

Rectum; Using initiative (saying he had driven all the way from Toowoomba) to get into seeing Blackstump, however at same time GM & Pony were denied access

Flasher: Charged by Botulism for trying to get sympathy from nurse during visit to Blackstump in hospital

Rectum; Charged by Pizza for incident at AGPU

Sir Prince Valiant; Drinking from wrong hand

Rockhard; POW awarded by Caustic for carrying on about how warm his “Skins” gear was

That is all,
On On from “The Desk”
Two Dogs 

Disclaimer:Involvement in Hashing may be a dangerous sport. Related activities carry a significant risk of damage to property, personal injury or death. Participate at your own risk!