Run 1686
Hare: Josephine
Location: Hamburger Hill, Parkwood
Date: 22nd February, 2010
As the hounds gathered on a balmy Monday evening the anticipation of Josephine’s hamburger nosh hung heavily in the air. Some commented that last years burgers had been the best ever, that was nice as some of this years had been left over from last year.

At the call of Trail Master Botcho the pack received final Josephine instructions about a cross arrow and to keep in the safety of the darkened unstable ditch rather than face the peril of a freshly sealed roadway. Post run instructions followed Flasher being provided with a Hash Safety Pack containing several mobile phones, GPS, flares, safety jacket, location map and taxi fare to assist in the smooth return of all hashers. With this the hare pointed to trail and the hounds set off.

As the hounds returned in several stages from several directions and by several modes of transport the backyard swimming pool was the place to be. However it was soon discovered the solar heating had failed with Stubby suffering significant shrinkage.

After a cool down nosh of hamburgers began the cremation process as pineapple, beetroot, tomatoes, lettuce and rolls surfaced on an immaculately – never used – work bench. Unfortunately, Harry the dog also consumed a number of hamburgers and the results of RSPCA inquiries will be public record in coming weeks.

After a hearty dinner, in which our beloved Grand Master also consumed some 4 burgers, circle was called by village mouth Goat Farka.

Run report of Bent Banana stated the run was sufficient with the point of elevation being a highlight of the run. Croc reported the walkers spent more time on the runners trail than most of the runners.

Further reports confirmed the Hare also became a victim of his of deviance and took a spill from the mighty bike.

As circle reports continued a bottle of the finest Hash liquor was passed around the circle, this special limited edition was brewed by Josephine’s long passed father over 25 years ago, whilst the origins are mysterious, the label of ‘stool sample’ did not appear to ward off any of our more adventurous hashers.

Jig Saw has been caught out short cutting his way around runs after ending up in a backyard citing Caustic Crusaders run tips. Following 3 fences and several ‘peeping tom’ charges he finished the run.

Next saw Dicky Knee, Croc and Hitler take centre stage for a down down from very new, very sparkly shoes.

Next POW Flasher acknowledged all hashers for being very rude, however the gong was passed to Dicky Knee for contacting Flashers wife during the week to locate the pots and pans and Mrs. Dicky was in New Zealand and couldn’t be contacted. This is obviously a trumped-up charge and the is no way Dicky would not know the location of the family kitchen. In a final insult to our group Flasher admitted breaking our beloved yard glass the previous week.

Dicky Knee remained in the circle as he celebrated his 63rd birthday, and was joined by Veteran at 65 and Sir Prince at 61.

Further down downs awards went to Seaman for BMX cross-dressing at Main Beach, Miscarriage in his absence for discussing pro-creation in Anna’s box. Further charges had Sir Rabbit charged by the GM for running an unregistered child care facility at the Rabbit Warren, and Two Dogs charging Sir Rabbit for forcing Mrs. Rabbit back to work at Dr. Flynn’s Bait & Tackle Academy.

However Cum Again advises Mrs. Rabbit has previously handled his matter and the results are encouraging.

A further charge was raised by Caustic Crusader against Kitchen Bitch for not attending tonight’s run due to a shoulder fracture sustained whilst fluffing mother’s pillow. Swollen Collen has been reported MIA and is currently holidaying in ‘fuck-knows-where’.

Rock Hard was provided a hymn to take back to WA hash from the Gold Coast. As the circle drew to a close Show Pony announced a neighbor of the hare’s had revered out over her driveway and hit the entire side of a Land Rover parked in the street. To much laughter aimed a Cum Smoke, it was announced that his Land Rover was indeed at home this evening – Veteran became very quiet for the end of circle.

Final arrangements have been made for this weeks Splinter Lunch being an Aquatic Affair (sounds gay – not only because Croc is involved either), all hashers are to meet at the Two Dogs flotilla at 11.30am departure, those slow to arrive may be collected from the water corner of Marine Parade and Burrow Street. Wine recommendations are Annie’s Lane Shiraz for a reef and beef lunch. Bring swimmers towel and Croc would like all hashers to bring baby oil to rub on each other after lunch. Cancelled due to a leaky boat. So go to Cavs, Labrador at 12
Next weeks hares have advised a bush run and the need for a torch and fresh batteries. This run has nothing to do with the hares purchase of Energizer shares.

Next weeks run number 1687 set for 1 March 2010
Hare : Moonbeams & Missing Link
Location: Velodrome
Hope Street
NERANG
Time : 6.15pm
Bring torch, spare batteries and chair;
Flasher bring GPS, flares and taxi money