Click Image

Sir Slab spotted Two Dogs out shopping.

Run 1843
Date : 25th February 2013
Hare : Sir Rabbit (food) and Josephine/Circumference (trail)
Venue : The recently renovated Rabbits Bar and Grill, Southport
Runners 20ish

Weeks to another 70+ hasher falling over – less than 1

Once again the Gold Coast Hash was playing second fiddle to the weather. Clearly the degree of precipitation was proportionate to that of a week earlier and so, it would not be remiss to assume that another piss-weak excuse was to be served in favour of a run. Yet this was not the case, new ground was being broken by the Hare who, having searched extensively on EBay, had purchased a backbone (and maybe an anorak) and had actually set a run. How refreshing.

The venue seemed picture perfect after its latest touch-up, so good in fact that a large number of hashers decided it would be more advantageous to give the place a closer scrutiny rather than risk possibly dissolving in the drizzle.

We were set on our merry way towards Smith Street and completed a large clockwise circle eventually re-crossing Smith Street, through the dog park and on home. The route was surprisingly well marked and had a number of checks (these may have been superfluous as several hashers were carrying maps). The final tally was about 6k in just over half an hour. I saw many start the course but only Two Dogs and the GM finish. Some things don’t change.

Whilst awaiting the food, no nibbles apparent, half crowded around the cinema screen and watched a medley of Football World Cup songs whilst the remainder enjoyed the breeze, which was caressing the alfresco dining area.
Although the deck was without illumination from a light source, Aussies new trainers lit the place up very well, its fair to say that they were so far right of gay they had reached pedophile status.

The run had heralded the return of Cum Smoke and Moonbeams enquired if his role at the boxercise class was that of the bag. Despite extensive questioning by Missing Link, it became apparent that there would be no new notches on the bedpost for Cum Smoke. This naturally led to the question “how many days did you wake up with a sore arse? And left us pondering the riddle ‘with no roots in Bangkok, how do the trees remain upright’.

Fodder appropriate for the weather was served by a small team, Australian meat pies made by Aldi in the Czech republic from flogged pit ponies, Australian peas canned in New Zealand, mash and gravy. No dramas with the quantities as there were even enough left over for the down downs. Dessert came after circle, top of the range ice cream lollies, which were melting quicker than the polar ice caps.

Circle was held on the deck and the Hares pushed forwards, critique of the run was left in the hands of the only non-hierarchy member who bothered to finish. Two Dogs stated it was ‘well marked, considering the conditions, both path and bush, water hazards and checks’ 7.8/10

The food was adjudged by the still eating Truck Tyres, ‘pretty good but no parsley in the spuds’ 7.5/10 Most others refused to comment as the POW was still in Rabbit’s hands.

Returners

Cum Smoke – overseas (try hard with a copious number of gifts for the GM)
Pizza – working???
Sir AH – been away

The RA took the circle over and made Aussie drink from the aforementioned trainers before launching into a plethora of random Australia Day questions that inevitably lead to DD’s for Link, Rug and Rock Hard. DD also for Cum Smoke for lack of Australian clothing, his Elle McPherson g-banger was not visible.

POW – Sir Rabbit immediately pointed at Rock Hard and handed him the prick for not bringing a plate, paying hash cash in 20cent pieces and wearing 14 stitches without an explanation. Caustic will be proxy for next week as Rock Hard is unsure if he will fall again mid week.

GM going on a two-month luxury cruise so acting GM’s will be in place for the foreseeable future.

Next weeks run – Two Dogs at Paradise Point. So if it rains, as hare he wont be running, the GM is on Hols, I guess I may be going solo.

End of Circle by Moonbeams.

Thanks to Rabbit, Josephine, Circumference and Kitchen Bitch, a very enjoyable Australia Day placebo.

A Cuba trip update would be nice, I know you’re reading this Flasher, we are missing you horribly, its like a gun club without a target.
Hierarchy Nominations are now open
On On

Rectum
Hang On a Sec
Don’t believe a word of it.

Run 1838
Date : 21th January 2013
Hare : Shat and Veteran
Venue : Macintosh Island, Surfers Paradise
Runners 31

Weeks to Swindler taking over as On Sec- 22

Reminiscent of an English evening at the height of summer, it was cold and pissing down at the venue, despite this the attendance was high, possibly due to the zero chance of finishing the trail drowned in sweat because of the heat.

Veteran addressed the troops with a slightly different version of Sit Slabs piss weak excuse from last week, raining, blah, arrows might not be there blah, what ever happened to live hare? In his defence a runner had been deployed with the knowledge of the trail in the unlikely chance that someone should get lost. Remember those words.

Off we trot over Macintosh bridge towards Main Beach, the trail showed right then over Main Beach Parade, seeing fresh toilet paper I ran towards Surfers, but it died out after 500 metres. I looked for the pursuing pack of which there was none, made my way back to the bridge, still no pack nor arrows evident.

Left with no choice I became a live hare for myself and ran up the spit (where some more arrows were come across). The trail, I am informed, went up to Marina Mirage, past Peter’s chippy before returning back along the boardwalk, through the yacht club and down Teddar.

Once safely back at the venue I was approached by the concerned well-wisher who was wondering where I had got to as no one else was prepared to undertake the trash notes.

Shat had finally made an appearance and was busy watching Sir Prince and Kitchen bitch sort out the food. Henry Faroe, the architect of the ten principals of management, would have been delighted at your use of ‘Delegation’. Again.

Once self served, I tucked into a delicious beef salad, spaghetti with assorted meats and fresh rolls. Sir Rabbit approached and asked “what would you call this then?” The best I could do was SPLOB, – Shats party left over bits. Not only delicious but a wonderful indictment of what can be done with left overs to turn them into a second meal.

Dessert came later, chocolate cake, Ice cream and mangoes, with or without grit, your choice.

Circle convened by the GM and the hares brought out. Swollen Colon, who has been absent quite a bit this year, was invited to do both critiques. Waiting for VD who was taking a leak behind the wheelie bins (a theme continued throughout the circle, despite a nearby council toilet, there’s nothing like evacuating your bladder in public.) “Ran with Blackie, hard to keep up with, well marked (sure) more checks required 7.8/10
“Spaghetti Bolognese kabanosi chilli, I told Shat it deserves food of the year, but I was pissing in his pocket” 7.2/10

DD to the hares who were left with the wise words of Sir Prince “now f%ck off and give some young blokes ago”

Shat brought back to circle and given a Hashy birthday.

Visitors/Returners Jigsaw, with family
Swollen Colon, not getting into it, not getting out of it?
VB, not sure what he said but it had sex in it somewhere
Shredder, hanging out with old Ferret
Semen, 14 months in a Phillipino

R.A.’s 15 minutes started with a Tassy update from VD – “more tourists please” it would seem even Tasmanians realize the problems with inbreeding and require a larger genetic pool. VD also warned against fighting fire without the right equipment, exhibited by singed pubes.
Jigsaw DD from new shoes, usual excuses fell on deaf ears
Two Dogs DD thanks to his namesake in Sound Garden. (living on Ephraim, does he even have a garden?)
DD to Swollen due to Semen’s pyrotechnic induced incontinence.
Kitchen Bitch DD for dropping the mangoes.
Nasty DD for a charitable bike ride dressed as Elvis, exposed by the Gold Coast’s new super grass Sir Slab who went on to charge Sir Prince for failing to attend said bike ride and Missing Link for 9am stubby. Anyone thinking of doing a bank job? Don’t invite Sir Slab.
Hard On DD for attending in non-hash shirt. Again.

POW Croc and Rug bleated about the lack of booze situation, which had lead to their obtaining the prestigious award. They went on (at great length) and blamed half the hash for absence of grog. Those chosen were –

Bent Banana – not buying enough
Blackie – giving free booze (not likely)
Caustic – for buying too much
Aussie – three stubby holders
Two Dogs – drinking VB when black available

The winner (?) was identified as Nasty due to the common denominating factor that he was present on all the occasions when the booze ran dry.

Burka of the week held over, Flasher not taking the GM up on his invitation to put a joke on the web and currently considering renouncing his religion.

Congratulations to Blackie who won another aquathon. He was so fresh at the end he even had enough left in the tank to assist the guy in second place get his wheelchair out of the water after the swim leg.

Splinter lunch reminder – 930 Tee off, 1230 lunch at Botcho’s

Next Weeks run – Hierarchy at the newly renovated Sir Rabbits Bar and grill, Aussie day run with a difference.

Circle ended by Josephine, who’s getting very good at it despite forgetting the words this week.

Thanks to both Veteran and Shat. Thanks also to our designated kitchen assistants Kitchen Bitch and Sir Prince without whom certain runs would be neither gourmet nor ready until Tuesday.

On On

Rectum
Hang On a Sec
Don’t believe a word of it.