Category Archives: Hash Trash

Run 2045…Hare: Truck Tyres

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Run 2045

Date:2/01/2017

Location: Burleigh

Hare: Truck Tyres

Hashers: 20

Truck Tyres stepped up to the plate as a late replacement hare for the
New Year run in what is well known as Caustic Crusader’s hashing
territory. A cursory glance of the BOM website revealing a massive
weather system slowly creeping towards the GC from down Byron Bay way
was the stimulus for the GM to show some leadership and get the show on
the road in the absence of the hare. So up the hills through the
lantana, the pack headed east and onwards towards the boardwalk around
Fleay’s wildlife sanctuary. Most hashers dropped off at various stages
to head home for some icy cold refreshments. However Hot Dick, Flasher,
Miscarriage and Magician struggled through the humidity and did the
whole alleged 9 klms. If that was the case, on the times they did, then
they would have all medalled in the long distance events in the 1956
Melbourne Olympic Games.

The hare had been sighted during the run, at the venue, setting up the
trailer before he was off again until returning, so at various stages he
had set up , shopped and got the nosh organised as Kitchen Bitch
assisted. Under threatening skies, an early circle was called and Truck
Tyres was called up and he brought with him some entrée dips. High
marking run critic, Flasher, was asked to comment on the run and
enthused that it was – A Fucking Good Run, the best so far in 2017 !
Shat told a story about the adventures of several hashers while
travelling to the December Splinter Hash lunch on the G light rail. In a
comedy of errors, the hashers tried to get out of the doors and get off
on the wrong side of the platform and while trying to hit buttons to get
off the train, it took off. Hard On, Swindler and Bren Gun were the
comedy team involved and apparently their antics brought tears to the
little old ladies seated in their carriage on the light rail around
them. All of this took place on the way to lunch, while they were all
completely sober.

Returning hasher from SE Asia, the Big O was called out and began
telling a story about his dick and rubbing crocodile oil on it and then
about something falling out of a tree and as all agreed the story was
too confusing he was given his down down and evicted from the circle.
Hot Dick now a permanent resident of Randwick in that cockroach infected
state south of Coolangatta was given a down down and then mentioned his
island holiday home in the Pacific playground is available for hash use.

Miscarriage who went south to Melbourne, over the festive period, to do
some work for his father had another tale of misfortune of missing keys
, searching Bunnings in Preston, $754 later and all because of hash
issued shorts with no pockets in them and to top it off another hash
farcup with the spelling on the reverse side of his milestone shirt
emblazoned with incorrect spelling – MISCARRAIGE. Two Dogs, a
representative of the previous committee involved in those giveaway
matters was called up and took a coldie for that committee’s role.

Current POW from December 2016, Ferret, has carried over the award into
the New Year and it will be offloaded at next week’s run when a hare and
venue have been organised. Kitchen Bitch has jumbo Santa suits for sale
at $7.50 each. After you have had them for awhile, they may even go down
on you

The circle was quickly closed as Truck Tyres announced it was time to
serve up tasty wraps of chicken, ham, salad and condiments. As all
munched away on the nosh, a couple strolled up to the tables and asked
if the hash were using the Girl Guides hall beside where the
tables/chairs had been set up. They advised that their group wanted to
use it and we could join them if we liked. An inquisitive hasher asked
what they did in the hall and when told, he replied  – No thanks , we
are a masticating group, not a meditating group and invited them to join
us to which they politely declined. The GM supplied a carton of Jap
birthday beers to the delight of all and they complimented the meal.

A little bit of rain , some lighting and thunder signalled that it was
time to get the flock out of there. Truck Tyres rushed out the desserts
of tinned fruits and ice cream and it was quickly consumed as the
heavens opened up and hashers made a run for their transport .

After another evening of good times , Truck Tyres has set the benchmark
for GC hashing in 2017.

This run brought up the RPR number 30 milestone.

Yours in hashing
CIRCUMFERENCE

Run 2045 Pictures Here

Run 2044…Hare: Flasher

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Run 2044

Date:26/12/2016

Location: Helensvale

Hare: Flasher

Hashers: 3

In true world-wide Hash tradition, “Monday Night is Hash Night” and the Gold Coast Gourmet Hash keeps the tradition going .. even if it is Boxing Day!

 

The Hare, Flasher, had chosen the newly renovated kids park, next to the public toilets and opposite the Bowls Club in Helensvale as the start point. The weather was threatening to destroy the 5.4km trail that Flasher had laid a few hours earlier but luck was with him and the rain was only very light and the well marked trail remained intact!

 

The two intrepid Hashers that assembled at 1700 and who had forgone eating even more bloody Turkey and Ham, covered themselves in Mozzy repellent and did some stretching and warm up exercises before being pointed in the right direction and off they went.

 

Most of the run was off road and went through nature reserves and peoples back yards where the friendly natives waved and shouted encouragement to the runners or I think it was encouragement!!

 

Emerging out of some dense bush, the hot and sweaty runners were greeted to a Drink Stop manned by the Hare Flasher who handed out super cold “Mid” Beers to the pack.

 

Then it was then a 1km. run back to the bucket and more super cold “Mids”.

 

As quite a few beers had been the drunk, the pack decided to forgo eating at the Bowls Club and headed home hoping not to be stopped by an RBT..!!

 

This Boxing Day Run has to be considered the best run of the year, if you ignore all the other excellent runs during 2016!

 

Yours in hashing…. ??

Run 2044 Pictures Here

Run 2043…Hare: Hierarchy

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Run 2043

Date:19/12/2016

Location: Surfers Paradise

Hare: Hierarchy

Hashers: 40

Every Picture Tells A Story and Dancing in the Streets are old classic songs and it is best to keep this report short and let the pictures do the talking.
However just one flashback of the evening, if your recollection of events on the evening is a bit hazy,  is worth mentioning as it is will probably not happen again for awhile at a GC hash event.
What a sight to behold with the cultural diversity displayed when hashers danced with the GC meter maids and the Hare Krishnas in Cavill Mall while visiting tourists from all parts of the globe, watching on from the sidelines, were taking their holiday photos of the calypso chanting conga line which made the whole event an absolute classic.
If only some others on the planet could embrace these festive outpourings of happiness, of everyone getting on well together, in certain other parts of the world, what a beautiful place it would be.
Merry Christmas / Happy New Year
Yours in hashing
CIRCUMFERENCE

Run 2043 Pictures Here

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Christmas Run Shenanigans

Run 2042…Hare: Sir Blackstump

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Run 2042

Date:12/12/2016

Location: Nerang

Hare: Sir Blackstump

Hashers: 30

A beautiful summer evening under a fairly full moon was the backdrop for a hash evening on the edge of the Nerang River. A little community centre car park in a quiet street was turned into a shit fight as the search for car spaces took place between dog owners and hashers.  After everyone had reversed or moved from a bad spot to a better one, all was in readiness for Sir Blackie’s final instructions.
Nasty, just back from some Chinese hospitality in a good paddock decided as he was thirsty, made a healthy donation to the bucket and found himself a Crownie. Dicky Knee remembering that they say only a alcoholic drinks by himself decided to join in the pre run festivities.
Sir Blackie with the promise of a drink and present for all soon had the walkers heading under the Weedons Crossing bridge and the runners east towards the Nerang commercial centre. Over near the Commercial Hotel the running pack, now in two groups, finally headed west towards home. as the trial proceeded even further west towards Advancetown.
Finally the drink stop was found and the present, a nice dip in the Nerang River. Those dry hashers , fortunate enough to miss the drink stop, chilled out over cold beers as the one hour mark ticked over as they watched the black suited ninjas arrived for their evening’s activities in the community centre.
After a change into some dry clothes, it was dips and crackers and cold drinks for all. Then an all assault took place on hashers wallets – Lotto, Christmas party, Monday night fees and beer money. Most made sure they got their priorities, Lotto, up to date realising that if an overdue big win got up, they didn’t want to miss out in their share of the loot.
The hare announced that the nosh was ready and a respectable queue was formed as is the norm. Then Sir Blackie announced that all were lined up in the wrong direction. Well that was when , as they say in nautical terms, the ship hit the sand. There were disorderly queues going in opposite directions fighting over the tongs to serve their food like starving Biafrans getting stuck into a packet of cornflakes.
The tasty nosh was ham/ with mustard condiment and salads. Finally some sort of decorum was restored as hashers dined while the occasional whiff of dog shit dumped in the bins by the dog owners cut through the cool air. Dessert consisted of cheese cakes, washed done by some, with a fine bottled merlot.
The GM organised a working bee of hashers to pack away the tables/chairs and then called out it was circle time and invited the hare out for a drink. Comments on the run, included – from Fanny , it was 5.8 klms, to which Sir Prince Valiant (SPV) replied – my arse. Now Loved enjoyed the new territory and Jigsaw had fun.
The GM then confessed his sins for the week – first up getting caught doing 67 kph and a $162 fine (still cheaper than his wipe out of his daughter’s car and the signpost), next up being employed again and finally getting sprung leaving his vehicle unlocked/windows down in the car park
The thirsty premature drinks pricks, Nasty and Dicky Knee were called out to satisfy their thirsts even more. Dicky Knee remarked that the down down was nice if you drank it slowly.
Exit the GM and RA Shat took centre stage and welcomed Flasher back to the fold without too much of a ribbing. The other half of the touring hash roomies, Truck Tyres gave the note for Flasher’s down down. Weekly was asked to explain , if he had done time in jail , as his drinking vessel was marked US Prison, Alcatraz.
Miscarriage who had driven his mini Mack tonka truck to hash, recalled a night that he got welcomed to Qld by the local coppers and had spent the evening in the lockup after a pretty solid drinking session.
Clive , fresh from a Thai holiday recalled one evening, when he knocked back a girl as he was not up to it and next evening she approached him again and kicked him the nuts. You never know with some of these Asian sheilas these days, but maybe if he had kicked back, he may have got her in her nuts.
Missing Link, always disappointed at missing a drink stop, but not a river crossing, made up for it in the circle with a down down for being the head line front page on that days GC Bulletin. At least it took the heat off that other well know front page GC celebrity with the familiar sounding name to hashers of Peter Foster.
James, the latest indentured section 457 visa holder on the Miscarriage payroll was welcomed with a down down.  A couple of notable mentions were Weekly who got sprung by Neighbourhood Watch honcho SPV , littering the neighbourhood with rubbish falling from his ute and Jigsaw who dropped his purse under the table.
Apparently not the first time he has misplaced his valuables , but like a boomerang , they always comes back to him.
Ferret, the carry over POW,  admitted that he had left it in the home garage and will carry it over for a few weeks.
Josephine was invited to close RPR 27.
WHERE HAVE THE BASICS OF READING AND WRITING GONE THESE DAYS ?
Governments are continually concerned that Australian school children are not as smart as others kids when results are compared from around the world. You need go no further than the Gold Coast Bulletin’s community Personals Meeting Point section to see examples of our literacy.
If this is where potential couples are meeting, dating, mating and God-forbid breeding, then its no wonder we are getting dumb and dumb if the parents of possible future school children can’t even use proper grammar without some sort of texting/sexting abbreviations as the norm in their personals which are published free of charge. Everyone has suddenly become technology geniuses with their devices but it seems they can’t put a sentence together without abbreviations.
First up is the GENT WLTM she male in the Beaudesert Jimboomba area.
Then, its the attractive red head 39YO adventurous, voluptuous build, DTE,GSOH, intelligent (?) WLTM affectionate, kind caring man medium build, S/F, VTPR, NTW. (All that in the one advert, and after you cut through all the bullshit, it probably means the hot red head would like to meet a kind man).
Another ATTRACTIVE MOM 39YO voluptuous build red head, DTE,GSOH,WLTM affectionate kind/caring man 25YO+, for relationship, NTW.
Then for some group action, there’s this one – SEEKING COUPLES male/females 52-80 YO any size/nationality for casual NSA fun. I am a single in GC area.
Finally a mature blonde has arrived on the Gold Coast from Adelaide and enjoys dining out and cinemas (which is the easiest part to understand) before she WLTM gent 45-55 YO N/S, N/D,F/F, ARA.
 
Then somehow when these couples manage to hook up and get together, you often see them spending the whole evening on their devices checking and chatting  to others in more coded messages. Just when things look like they are getting interesting as words like FUCK and CUNT start appearing, it all goes bizarre again when you see the new meaning of these former standouts. FUCK is now Friends You See Kaccionally(formerly occasionally) and CUNT is important to remember for things like meetings and job interviews as it means See You Next Tuesday or as the Northern Territory tourism marketing slogan of See You in the Northern Territory.
Even the name of the bloody country has been hijacked with words like STRAYA, ORSTRAYA and STRALIA floating around in mainstream media these days.
No amount of The Great Gonski funding will fix this race to the bottom in literacy.
CHRISTMAS RUN 2016
 
Next Monday, early start on Chevron Island.. Check website for further details. don’t forget to wear your Christmas clobber/ bells etc.
Yours in hashing
CIRCUMFERENCE

Run 2042 Pictures Here