Category Archives: Hash Trash

Run 2049…Hare: Ball Point

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Run 2049

Run: 2049

Date:30/01/2017

Location: Nerang

Hare: Hierarchy

Hashers: 28

With much anticipation and some trepidation, hashers assembled in Nerang for the final leg of the week’s trifecta of hashing on the GC. Would the hare in the Chinese year of the Rooster, make sure that the cock stood up proud and strong or would the event just be a slack soft cock-up ?  The hare had promised a Chinese New Year celebration like no other and in a week where hashers had already hydrated, masticated, been titillated. enjoyed gourmet, and  further lubricated on strong drink, the bench mark had been set fairly high. There had also been optional activities for hashers like running, walking, swimming and golfing and had been given a hash free day off on Australia Day to either party privately or rest for the next events.
So when the hare arrived and gave instructions, the pack headed off towards Nerang Forest. There were checks, arrows, flour and false trails but no one was quite sure whether they were on a short run or a long walk but the main thing everyone was on some well marked trail which eventually lead back to the venue.
Chilled Coronas and very hot spring rolls were the go before the circle. The GM called out the hare and Miscarriage told all that as he was lost in the forest so he had followed Iceman home after taking several false trails. Weekly considered the walk very clever. Next up were the returning hashers who missed run 2050  – Miscarriage (on an itchy Cambodian getaway), Blackie (ski-ing somewhere), Aussie(got his email messages mixed up), Jigsaw (having a $15 veal at Melba’s in Surfers) and Ball Point (recc-ing his own run on a hash night). The new shoes brigade – Jigsaw, Miscarriage and Kitchen Bitch were soon drinking in the circle.
The RA took over and out came Ball Point again due to some dodgy offer of employment e mail doing the rounds from some sheila with the same surname as the hare. She is offering a full months salary for half a months work and a full month’s work for a half month’s salary once you give your bank account details to this Nigerian scammer. Apparently not many job applicants so far.  An update from the Hospital rounds mentioned the health issues of  Showpony, Fuller Shit and BB. Current POW, Swindler, called out a few nominations as decoys for the real POW, the thirsty Jigsaw for a free return fishing trip to Gladstone. Sir Slab charged Nasty for forgetting his Cleats/Clits ? while attempting a long hash bike ride over the weekend.
At the conclusion of the circle, the hare directed all to the Chinese restaurant upstairs where several courses were consumed once you had filled up your portion control dining bowl. Quaffing red wines were then passed around the tables to wash down the tasty chicken and beef dishes. The hare made sure the dishes got spread around all the tables so everyone got a feed.
All up , Ball Point’s Chinese New Year run had kept the week’s hashing activities up to the standards set by the previous activities of the week. However the standard of promised Chinese big titted girls left a bit to be desired, although the new Chinese 2017 calendar had a few reasonable bodies in it.
Last but by no means least, how could we not forget a big cheerio to our GC hashers in the UK  on their very public OUTING photo at the recently held first ever LBGTI Interhash H3 ball. That ‘s the political correct name for what we all know was the Lesos and Poofter’s Anonymous Sleaze Hash.
ANOTHER NORTHERN TERRITORY STORY
A little old lady in Darwin, tired of getting ripped off at the petrol bowser and the supermarket finally had enough when one of her life’s little luxuries went up in price much more than the CPI increase, so it caused her to jump on the telephone and rang a number which put her through to her local cop shop. She advised that she wished to complain about her local dealer putting up the price of her weed. When the person on the other end started asking questions which would result in some pretty self incriminating answers, our little old lady suddenly hung up !
Yours in hashing
CIRCUMFERENCE

Run 2049 Pictures Here

January Splinter Golf & Lunch:Host Botcho

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January Splinter Lunch

Date:27/1/2017

Location: Helensvale

Host: Botcho

Hashers: 39

Balls and tits were all the go at the annual Botcho January splinter hash. Golf balls were hit in the morning and close examination of freshly renovated breasts made up most of the afternoon’s activities. Thirsty and hungry hashing golfers attacked the cheese, jatz and kabana selection as they scoffed their cold refreshments after their sweat session on the course.
Diners had the choice of three different sized steaks as they parted with their hard earned dollars. Chrissie made an entrance in her Aussie Day bikini and it wasn’t long until she had been persuaded to get her top off quicker than stripper’s knickers. As soon as the freshly sculptured melons were displayed, the visiting Brisbane hashers swooped around them like bees around a honey pot. Not quite sure if semi-nudity is off limits in the State capital these days, but fair dinkum, you would think these blokes had just got out of a long stretch jail they way they behaved at the sight of naked breasts (the camera does not lie). Rather interesting to see some of our local cross dressing hashers swoop on her top and wear it around for awhile(again the camera does not lie).
As it was time for the entrée to be served, Kristy was able to pry herself away from the Brisos and she assisted Aussie in serving. Aussie still enjoying himself from the previous day’s celebration of the nation’s party was sucking on his VB tallies between his waiter duties. A few late arrivals like Moonbeams and
Iceman were just in time to get their servings. A shower of rain steamed up the barbies but Sir Botcho and his assistants battled on to cook up the steaks. It wasn’t long till they were served with sauces, chips, breads and salad. Plenty of wines were now being poured and the focus turned to the fine dining of the meal. Actually Chrissie was left alone for five minutes so she too could enjoy a feed.  Then it was the GC hashers turn to pass the parcel and Chrissie’ tits got bounced around again even by herself in a tity boogie road test which certainly made sure the boobs will go the distance much better than the last set of retreads she had inserted. Just goes to show again that the Aussie product is more reliable than some cheaper offshore imitation, even when it comes to tit implants.
Dessert consisting of pavlova and lots of cream compliments of Truckie was next up. As usual by this time, all hashers were well and truly full from the fine dining provided by Sir Botcho. Caustic Crusader’s team were declared the winners of the golf competition and accepted their trophy. Moonbeams gave all a medical report update on Showpony and Mad Mike was welcomed back after his recent health issue. Cum Smoke, another late arrival, was asked to remove his motor vehicle from Sir Botcho’s driveway where he had decided to park instead of on the street like everyone else.
As light showers of rain began falling, hashers began departing in various hastily organised car pools.Fanny Charmer had a full car as it departed for the trip back to eastern side of the GC. All onboard agreed that the 2017 edition of Sir Botcho’s annual splinter lunch had been another fine event.
Yours in hashing
CIRCUMFERENCE

January Splinter Lunch Pictures Here

Run 2050…Hare: Hierarchy

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Run 2050

Run: 2050

Date:23/01/2017

Location: Hope Island

Hare: Hierarchy

Hashers: 35

In a world first for hashing the GC hash went 3 weeks into the future
with its runs. Hopefully the successful lotto numbers in 3 weeks time
will also be available and we can put them on and clean up when we
revert back into the past. This Monday evening turned out to be an
absolute beauty in more ways than one. Finely the humidity dropped and
was replaced by cooling sea breezes. Then a great milestone party was
celebrated by all who attended. Unfortunately, our guest hasher,
Showpony, couldn’t make it and we are all thinking of him as he battles
through his illness.  In his absence, Shetland, son of Showpony, fronted
and ran the legs off most hashers on the run.

The regular run and walk were just simple time passing events for those
wanting to get a thirst up and appetite for what lay ahead of them.
First up was a slab of Budweiser leftover from President Don’s
inauguration party which the booze masters had sourced online. The
kitchen department had opened and cheese,Jatz and kabana were served.
Next up in the beers were the traditional Aussie brands which were so
popular, that Bent Banana had to make a pub visit and get some extra
supplies. Not to be forgotten, before the wall goes up, the Mexicans
were remembered and chilled Coronas surfaced at the back end of the
evening.

Meanwhile the 2050 milestone good quality T-shirts were handed out by
Shat and Ferret, just in time for this hash to celebrate the Chinese New
Year in Nerang next Monday evening, at Ball Point’s promised feast  . A
little bit of red wine was spilled on Shat’s new white shirt which no
doubt will be the norm for many hashers shirts in the future. Sir
Botcho, Kitchen Bitch and Sir Prince Valiant had worked bloody hard
behind the scenes to organise the feast that was now ready for the
assembled queue to devour. There were salads, breads, prawns, chicken
and to top it all pavlova. It didn’t seem to matter how many times
hashers went back to reload their plates, there was still plenty
leftover.

Sooner or later, the milestone group photo needed to be taken and
visitor Plucker stepped up to the plate to help out. The GM called the
circle and Circumference as hare got a spray from Missing Link about the
boring run before his down down. The walkers seemed to have a better
time in the swamp by the sound of it. The hash naming of Clive resulted
from his current employment efforts which apparently are Fuck All. The
RA entered with the CIA security joke from the inauguration – Donald,
Duck ! Early arrivals at the venue had tipped off the RA about a local
copper who had pulled over a hasher and put the bag on him as he arrived
at the run site. Apparently the number plates on the hasher’s motor
vehicle used to belong to some Scottish criminal with a warrant out for
his arrest. Finally the over zealous copper
gave up when he found out the hasher knew a little bit more about the
law than he did. Well done, Fanny Charmer, for telling the coppers to
get their shit together and update their records. You would think
Officer Dibble should have been able to pick a Spaniard from a Scotsman.
Speaking of Scotsmen, rumour has it that another hasher was doing the
back streets rat run on the way home and forgot to stop at the Stop sign
and got sprung by the local copper who uses it as a good little revenue
raiser. Down down to Fanny Charmer.

Missing Link , on his 801 run, got a down down for joining the 800 runs/
probably well over $15000 spent club. A couple of Sirs who have been
absent of late were welcomed back with a down down, namely Sir Prince
and Sir Rabbit.

Shetland,as a stand in for Showpony, was welcomed and given a down down.

Current POW , Blue Card, called out all of President Don’s Gold Coast
hash’ card carrying members and it would seem by the numbers he is more
popular in our hash and even Russia (where the champagne corks popped)
than he currently is in the USA. As Swindler had won a $100 bet on the
outcome of the election, he became the popular choice for POW.

The milestone run brought out a few old hashers for a down down namely –
Piss Stop, Plucker and these days the leather clad bikie Cum Smoke who
no doubt will be under the microscope of the coppers if he wears his
colours in public.

The kitchen crew were rewarded with down downs for their preparation and
serving of the seafood and chicken feast.

Moonbeams closed the circle to RPR 33.

Yours in hashing

CIRCUMFERENCE

Run 2050 Pictures Here

Run 2047…Hare: Sir AH

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Run 2047

Date:16/01/2017

Location: Mudgeeraba

Hare: Sir AH

Hashers: 26

The choice of a good venue is always a great start to a hash event. Considering we almost drowned years ago at this venue, it was good to be high and dry and under cover under the grey skies on another steamy Monday evening.  Kitchen Bitch arrived early as he was keen to get some exercise but the hare seconded him for assistance in the nosh department. Brief instructions were given and soon walkers and runners headed off towards the east. A couple of local lasses out walking their puppies gave hints to the pack as to where they had seen arrows after the first check which was greatly appreciated. Soon the trail was well was into the local suburbia where Monday evenings must be the designated mowing and whipper snipper time as there were a few out there. A mobile telephone rang and Magician was the culprit. Although it was very humid, there was plenty of shade on the trail especially near the bridge area where Truck Tyres got bushed. Josephine headed back as the trail progressed past home and was soon organising all the chairs from the trailer.
When all had returned home via Somerset Drive, the bucket was popular especially the birthday beers provided by Slug. Your could take pick of the entrée as it included watermelon , rockmelon and dates.   Plenty of hashers set themselves up on a chair as there seemed to be a few short of the total number in attendance. When the hare announced that the main nosh was ready, Dicky Knee offered to stay back and mind a couple of chairs for hashers while they got their food. When it was his turn to get some nosh, an inconsiderate hasher decided to blow in and knock off his seat, not knowing it all happened in front of the current POW. What a difference a week makes in the hash nosh menu. From butchered halal goat to abattoir killed pig (ham), there is always something happening in the kitchen. There were plenty of salads,pineapple and condiments to toss onto the ham. Next up was dessert which featured the hot Miss Aldi’s Apple Rounds with custard and cream dripping off them. As all diners were pretty full by this stage, so the GM suggested some exercise before the circle. The tables and chairs needed packing away while the booze masters mixed their concoctions.
Sir AH and Kitchen Bitch were first out  for a quick drink before the Magician was asked to comment on the run, however he waffled on about it being a beautiful evening without really assessing the run and gave it a Minus One rating. Maybe he had spent too much time on his mobile while on the run to actually know what had happened apart from Truck Tyres punching on after loosing his way. Thankfully Bent Banana described the hare’s effort as a good run.
Showpony and Mad Mike were mentioned due to their current health issues and all are thinking of them at the moment.
Exit the GM and he invited the RA to takeover proceedings. Josephine was asked by the RA about the number of chairs he had got out of the trailer and the figure of 20 was mentioned. However it was observed that Now Loved and the Magician had struggled with their one chair each upon returning them to the trailer. They were given down downs and the new first LCA’s for the year – Lazy Cunts Award.  The Magician was asked to explain what was so important on the mobile to take a call while on the run. He replied it was his missus / she who must be obeyed, reminding him of the Monday night curfew in the bedroom, so he would have to get home promptly after hash. Wrong answer, down down.
A report of a possible emerging bromance with the sighting of Kitchen Bitch putting his arm around Ferret on the walk. However maybe it was possibly the early stages of a motor vehicle deal going down (down) and that’s what these hashers got.
The POW returned by Ferret was sighted for the first time in 2017. A couple of early nominations were Weekly, Sweathog and even the RA who were just decoys for the real event. As only one hasher had pinched another hasher’s seat, after he had looked after others, and allegedly swiped his beer as well that evening, it narrowed it down to Blue Card ,a popular choice by all.
Moonbeam was invited to close RPR 32.
TRUMPILLAC ONE Presidential Limousine
Just in time for his inauguration the President elect of the free fall world has just got himself an updated Cadillac. After consultation with Donald, several specifications were requested.
The new added features include a Trumper Bar and Rapid Fire Machine guns containing Spray Tan and Hair Spray in the front of the vehicle.
At the rear of the vehicle will be a Retractable Mexican-Proof Wall and a fully imported Moscow Golden Shower.
On each side of the vehicle there will be retractable Pussy Grabbers, just in case the opportunity arises while on his limo victory tours of the middle states of the Ununited States of America as he thanks those who elected him to office.
Security will be of the highest order for the man who formerly said – You’re Fired just in case in the country which has more guns than the people who seem to have easy access to purchase semi-automatic machine guns, the FBI has to ask – Who Fired ?
FOX should have plenty of television coverage of the inauguration event as the other television networks already seem to be offside before the game has even started. The former host of The Apprentice has just progressed to the Tradesman who has been elected to get the job done.
UPCUMMIMG EVENTS
 
Run 2050 – 23 January – Bring your appetite and togs/ towel if you feel like a dip after another humid Monday evening.
Splinter Hash – 27 January – Let Sir Botcho know of your intended attendance/golf participation/dietary requirements if you are a vegan.
Yours in hashing
CIRCUMFERENCE

Run 2047 Pictures Here

Run 2046…Hare: Swollen Colon & Sweat Hog

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Run 2046

Date:9/01/2017

Location: Southport

Hare: Swollen Colon & Sweat Hog

Hashers: 27

The old saying – couldn’t drive a hot knife through a pound of butter was probably the best description of what hashers saw as other hashers arrived at the Southport Tigers club car park. Not quite sure whether some of the drivers need to visit Spec Savers or they got their licence in a Kellogs Corn Flakes packet giveaway, but they were some extraordinary scenes with the driver of parking the under carriage of the motor vehicle on top of a median strip
Swollen Colon had a megaphone and siren to summon hashers out to the middle of the football oval where he had erected a HHHH sign. Yes, that’s right an extra H which caused many comments from hashers. So the runners and walkers got their instructions and eventually found their way out of the fenced enclosure. The trails went mainly around Smith and Johnson Streets before back to the rear of the oval for the Chivas scotch and water drink stop. Some daytime fireworks were let off as the runners searched unsuccessfully for some mysterious close-by waterfall which didn’t make the GC Bulletin’s weekend edition list of waterfalls.
The nosh venue was a well set up BBQ area adjoining the football club where hashers hooked into the well chilled refreshments. A siren on the megaphone was the signal that the nosh was ready to go. Crisp garlic naan breads and some bony meat dish which had many guessing as to what is was were the fare. Some well travelled hashers suggested camel , others goat and maybe even horse meat. Anyhow it was consumed and washed down by more strong drink. Next up was cake and custard for dessert.
The GM called the circle and the hares were given a down down. Iceman advised that the pack had looked and looked for the waterfall but gave up and returned home in several different directions. Due to the numbering of upcoming runs in the near future, the GM did a Please Explain segment to the confused hashers.
Next up the RA called out Flasher and Truck Tyres to renew their bromance vows and they both admirably stepped into the circle.
Fuller Shit and Sir Black Stump were given a down down for their dramatic arrivals into the carpark in front of all the assembled hashers.
Slug was next out in the circle for examination of either a small love bite or a melanoma on his neck.
Flasher dodged a bullet with a quick change into some hash clobber instead of his civvies he was sporting at the time.
Ball Point returned to tell the circle about his upcoming Chinese New Year extravaganza.
Visitor Wee Wee reminded us of that old Shell television ad with Barry Sheene about putting a sock in his gob. He never shut up all night and deserved an icing for his disruption. It then came out in the circle that he has banned from all future Nash Hash’s for some of his past extra stray horizontal dancing activities.
Finally the elephant in the room had to be addressed and the RA called out Swollen Colon to clarify what the meat was in the nosh. He advised the clue was in the extra H in the HHHH sign. Finally, after a hash guessing competition, he revealed he had introduced Halal goat to the hash.
Poor old Flasher nearly spewed when he realised he had munched on the Mecca morsel remnants of some poor goat butchered according to Muslim law.
In the absence of the carryover POW, Swollen Colon, got off scott free for his tampering with the gourmet hash standards.
Moonbeams closed the circle to RPR 31 before a fireworks finale lit up the sky and sent local dogs in a frenzy with the multiple explosions.
We often hear about men having depression, anxiety and the black dog to contact the Lifeline telephone number for help. When you consider recent local hash events , might I suggest that that they also check out the hash website for a good dose of therapy as well.
Over the last couple of weeks we have seen Santas dancing with hare krishnas and meter maids, public nuisance behaviour, strippers, lots of BWS (beer, wine and now spirits), halal food, fireworks and lots of good times. Over the next couple of weeks, the fun continues.
UPCUMMING EVENTS
 
Towards the end of the month, the it would appear that the abacus has been thrown out with the bath water with the numbering of the runs. But don’t worry, just keep turning up regularly and everything will take care of itself. So here goes as to what’s happening down the track
Monday 23 January  Run 2050 Committee
Thursday 26 January Hash RDO , due to the number of events so close together. Kick back and enjoy the day.
Friday 27 January Splinter Hash. Let Sir Botcho know ASAP if you are attending.
Monday 30 January Run 2049 Chinese New Year. Let Ball Point know ASAP if you want an authentic Chinese T-shirt for $15.
                                 So far orders have been received from Fanny Charmer (L), Sir Two Dogs (L), Missing Link (L),
                                 Brutus (M) and Weekly (XL)
Monday 6 February Run 2048 Josephine

Run 2046 Pictures Here