Category Archives: Hash Trash

Run 2053…Hare Caustic Crusader

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 Show Pony Posh Hash 1993

Run 2053

Run: 2053

Date:27/02/2017

Location: Burleigh

Hare: Caustic Crusader

Hashers:23

A good virgin is hard to find these days and especially one with a bit of bush. But this week’s hare certainly nailed one in this new territory at Schuster Park which is located beside Tallebudgera Creek. After a short walk for some and a longer for others from their cars to the venue, the pack watched as the sunlight diminished before the hare gave instructions . Walkers to the east and runners to the west and soon all were off in anticipation of covering some new ground on a Monday night. There was plenty of horse shit in the paddocks to dodge and the well marked trail soon had a few hashers in the creek. Some smarter ones found a bridge to cross and keep dry only to later find themselves covered in mud after running past the venue for an extra kilometre on the way home.
The walkers also returned just in time for the free $1 birthday Crownies supplied by the hare. The GM opened a haberdashery op shop with a lot of retro clobber from his fashionista days in the 1970’s. Now Loved grabbed himself a flashing coat and other hashers helped themselves to all sorts of other hash and civilian clobber and bags. A notable item on the table was Sir Slabb’s 900 run milestone trackie dacks which will be presented back to him when he does his 1900 th run with an extra 1 embroided in front of the 900.
While the hash jumble sale was on, the hare and Kitchen Bitch were preparing the nosh inside the corral serving area with its entry/exit gates. A plate full of Madras curry, condiments and Turkish bread soon had most stumped with just one serving however Fanny Charmer had a another lashing to reload after working up an appetite on the run. Next up was chocolate cake, strawberries and a squirt of cream. A possum saw how good the nosh looked and joined the back of the queue and when no one was looking grabbed some bread.  Weekly rolled his milestone chair and ended arse up over backwards and while doing so did not spill his nosh or drink.
The GM called circle up and out came the Caustic Crusader for his Run of the Year attempt with virgin territory as the solo hare/cook and Birthday Crownies.
Lurch’ comments were – a dry run at first and a bit of bush which I haven’t been on for awhile. Kitchen Bitch, our resident hash MKR judge, remarked that the nosh was outstanding. The possum who was sitting on a branch in a tree and watching the circle also gave it a paws up. Weekly’s walk critique was that it was heavy going, close to a crawl, I felt like Burke and Wills at one stage.
Sir Prince Valiant gave us a summary of how GC hashers conducted themselves at Nash Hash with the usual suspects displaying their inglorious worst behaviour while representing the GC hash. He also advised that it is now onto Port Douglas for Crocodile Hash in Port Douglas,FNQ in 2019.
Caustic charged Weekly for his comments on the GM’s giveaway jackets which he described as Fat Cunts Jackets. Bent Banana advised that he was happy with his new clobber especially when he found a folded $50 in the pocket of his.
Now Loved and Circumference were soon having a down down for attempting to cut through and consume the chocolate coloured paper wrapped around the dessert cake. Might be time for a Specsavers appointment. They were soon joined by Bent Banana, Weekly and Kitchen Bitch and all five of them resplendent in their new ex GM winter jackets got a down down.
A medical report that Mad Mike is firing on all cylinders again was well received by all.
It ‘s not every Monday night the hare puts in a big effort and takes home the POW but Birthday Hare, Caustic Crusader jagged it on this occasion. Fuller Shit handed over the award because of the distance he had to walk from the car park to the venue as he recuperates from his recent medical issue.
In the absence of regular circle closers, the GM decided as he had opened the circle, he might as well close it . So ended RPR 38.
HASH (pardon the pun) MEDIA WATCH
It must have been a slow news week just over the border last week. The ECHO is a North Coast independent newspaper and it reported that a man had been arrested for selling drugs from his happy herbs shop in Nimbin. What kind of news worthy story is that ?
I mean we all know what goes on there, the sort of people that live there and regularly go there to celebrate Mardi Grass, but maybe they were trying to shock us into believing that the police actually
arrested someone on one of the 365 days of the year when they turn a blind eye on the other 364 days of the year to the goings on in this weedy driven economy tourist town, well known for its hippies, Big Joint and various bong outlets.
Maybe there is such a thing as FAKE news after all.
Yours in hashing
CIRCUMFERENCE

Run 2053 Pictures Here

Run 2052…Hare Fuller Shit

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 Show Pony Posh Hash 1993

Run 2052

Run: 2052

Date:20/02/2017

Location: Southport

Hare: Fuller Shit

Hashers:25

The venue was James Overell park on the Nerang River overlooking all the
valuable real estate located on Paradise Waters. The hare pointed a
direction for hashers to head and soon the pack where running around the
old and nouveau residences on the streets of the suburb which is
transitioning from the old homes and Sundale shops to it’s modern
apartment style living makeover. As the trail had a few hiccups like no
false trail indications , the pack gradually diminished to about 5 as
hashers finding themselves running into no more arrows territory called
it quits and headed home for an early beer. As they had noticed Hard On
organising his birthday Crownies before the run, they knew that finding
the trail back to the bucket was far easier than trying to relocate the
pack.

A bromance of hashers seated around a table had somehow surrounded the
entrée of chips and dips and hidden them from most of the pack who were
now enjoying the birthday Crownies. The nosh was a tasty chicken curry
with rice before dessert of peaches, ice cream and yoghurt. One thing
stands out about hashers is their honest assessment of nosh and all
agreed it was very good. By comparison, those reality TV judges on MKR
eat all the food and then tell the contestants their meals were shit
after filling up their guts.

Circle time saw the hare seated as he recuperates from his recent spell
in hospital. Sir Botcho ‘s assessment was that it was a good run. In
their absence, Flasher(now a Monday night gym junkie) and Truck
Tyres(how would I know what’s in my garage ?) were mentioned for their
recent incidents. Dicky Knee , another birthday hasher, told all about
his new role as the CSO at the GC Marina. Returning Runners.- the Big O,
was called out for pissing on the Nerang River oysters and Carefree told
a story about a recent encounter on dating site – Seniors Tinder Trap
and conversation with a Muslim woman while in Sydney.

A couple representatives from the bromance table were next out  for a
drink, namely KB and Iceman. The latter also doubled as hash jester with
a joke.

Birthday hasher, Hard On , was thanked for his free $1 Crownies and
received a trophy for the least improved golfer at the Sir Botcho golf
day. Not a bad effort, considering he didn’t play.

Missing Link stepped up with the POW and told how over the years, he had
seen a few things but never a hare outsourcing his run for his missus to
set it for him. Apparently Fuller Shit inserted a few Omnibus(well
before the politicians thought of that word) smokescreen small print
amendments in his marriage vows, under the – in sickness and health bit
to include setting hash runs when not in the best of health. So all he
was doing, was invoking those clauses of his marriage vows. Other
hashers couldn’t believe it as they all agreed that they would have had
two chances with their partners if in the same circumstances – none and
Buckley’s !

Josephine called the circle to end RPR 37.

All hashers then assisted in carrying tables and chairs back across the
park to the trailer to get home nice and early before the heavens opened
up later over the area where nice fine weather had prevailed during the
evening’s hash event.

Yours in hashing
CIRCUMFERENCE

Run 2052 Pictures Here

Run 2051…Show Pony Celebrations

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Run 2051

Run: 2051

Date:13/02/2017

Location: Cascade Gardens

Show Pony Send Off

Hare: Missing Link

Hashers:46

As events panned out in the hottest country on the planet over the weekend, the significance of this run took on a whole lot more importance with news of the passing of the much loved Showpony. It necessitated the need for a significant event, with an earlier than usual starting time. It was agreed that this hasher, legendary for his amazing turbo charged sprints over about 45 metres uphill in his latter running years, and notorious noshs including the most recent Coomera catastrophe which resulted in unprecedented carnage among those who were tempted to consume his firey Chilli pies, needed to be sent out in a fine GC hash style. As many e mail tributes had been circulating over the weekend, the scene was set for a fine farewell, hash style. If ASADA had ever drug tested Showpony , without a shadow of doubt they would have found his running performances were enhanced by fine red wines. So what better way was there to remember him, than for his fellow hashers to have a few beverages.
The pack of over 50 assembled around the Rotary symbol where Showpony’s immediate family members were welcomed by the GM before Missing Link gave instructions on the run which circled around the Cascade Gardens and GC Convention Centre area. A few flashes of lightning and claps of thunder kept everyone on their toes as the light rain was welcomed after the weekend’s heat. When all had returned from walks, runs and for some the closest public bar, they were greeted with platters of fruit and cheeses. Next up lots of beers, champers and wines were enjoyed as hashers shared stories about all the good times they had shared with Showpony over the years. A curry or two and various condiments were soon served up by the kitchen crew and there no complaints about the nosh as all had the choice of whichever curry they preferred.
The hash wake formalities then took place with the GM inviting Sir Prince Valiant(SPV) to conduct the Eulogy and an episode of That Was His Life. Condolences to the immediate family members present were the first item.  Then Showpony’s wicked sense of humour was highlighted as SPV recalled the many times when hashers had struggled with what was fact and what was fiction when they had conversations with him. From 1978, Sydney Hash had been the home of this hasher until he commenced with the Gold Coast Hash in 1999. His prowess as a runner included running 28 marathons and many City to Surfs where he no doubt learnt his uphill running skills as he would have scaled Heartbreak Hill like a gazelle.
Other present hashers were then invited to tell their stories of their travels with him. Missing Link,Sir Botcho and Caustic Crusader stepped up and mentioned the good times they had shared on Asian and European tours. Miscarriage mentioned that Dicky Knee still owed the Showpony family estate 80 cents and got a down down for being a debtor. In a unique display of a combo Richard Simmons type exercise session / hash flashdance, Miscarriage conducted an entertaining rendition of Hey Joe calisthenics which can now be viewed on the Hash U tube.
A big thank-you goes out to the many hashers and partners who had quickly organised and served the nosh and refreshments on such short notice so to make the celebration of Showpony’s life a memorable event for all in attendance.
As light rain fell the GM closed RPR 36 with a hymn from the hash family in memory of their mate.
                                                                                                     RIP
                                                                                 Gavin  SHOWPONY  Carr
                                                                                                1943 – 2017

Run 2051 Pictures Here

Run 2048…Hare: Josephine & Sir Rabbit

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Run 2051

Run: 2048

Date:6/02/2017

Location: Labrador

Hare: Josephine & Sir Rabbit

Hashers:34

Norm Rix Park was the venue chosen by the hares for the return of the first hash event in Labrador in 2017, at the same venue where sensitive locals had  complained to police about activities that coincidentally happened in that park while the GC hash just happened to be in that neighbourhood previously. Thanks to the community minded hashers, the last time the hash were there, the coppers were able to get eye witness BS statements about kids who had been letting off fireworks and which direction they had left in. Swollen Colon could even provide the officers with descriptions of what type of fireworks they used and the type of bicycles they rode off on.
Josephine welcomed all and gave instructions to both walkers and runners as to which direction they should head. It wasn’t long before all found the well marked trails through Labrador’s sports ovals and got a bit of a sweat up on the hill climb. The run headed out towards the Colgate Palmolive Park before turning back to where there were cold refreshments waiting. Between swatting mossies and enjoying Bent Banana’s cold Crownies, hashers enjoyed the reasonably pleasant weather wise evening with the occasional sea breeze.
As Sir Rabbit had found a nice new extra large big pot for hash cooking, a parking spot close to the BBQ area was left vacant for him to arrive late with the nosh. Cold Coronas were next up when the Crownies ran out , just before nosh was served. It doesn’t take long for hashers to form a queue when it is announced that it is tucker time especially when their appetites are screaming for food after a few beers. Butter chicken served with basmati rice /sesame seed oil, Mesclun rocket and English spinach salad with Bhaji Mix were the ingredients of this tasty meal. Ferret chewed on something crunchy which he thought might be a cockroach but just to allay his fears, it was part of the Bhaji Mix. As the big pot seemed bottomless, hashers came back for seconds and thirds with Fanny Charmer rejoicing at the feast. The dessert was profiteroles with returning runner BB having a couple of them.
GM Rock Hard called circle time and soon had Sir Two Dogs talking about the run which he considered as usual a high quality run / 8 out of 10. The hares then got their well deserved down downs. No doubt the nosh will be an early favourite for Nosh of the Year as we clock over almost three-quarters of the life of this hash committee and the noshes that have been served up. Returning runners -Lurch, BB and visitors Christian and Daniel were next up in the circle for a drink. The RA stepped up and got updated medical reports on Showpony and Moonbeams from Miscarriage and Sir Prince Valiant. There are always new shoes in hash as it is a fact of life that the old ones just wear out. This week it was Blue Card and Fark All who were called out to pressure test their joggers.
Sir Prince Valiant charged the Magician with reckless body surfing by taking out the only person in the water at the time, an elderly citizen out for his daily swim. The Magician figured that while he was in the circle, he might as well charge someone as well, his choice the GM for attempting to sell his high quality goods firstly at a garage sale then on Gumtree. However as he considered the goods offered for sale were shit, nothing sold. Somehow Jigsaw got the down down as the GM’s lookalike (?). Truck Tyres doing his bit as a GC tourism ambassador apparently took out a Chinese female tourist in an incident while cycling on Sundale bridge. Eye-witnesses thinking he was showing his compassion by asking if she was okay were floored when Truckie said – You stupid bitch ! Sir Rabbit was asked to adjudicate on the disputed alleged facts declared – Guilty , as charged. It wasn’t long before he went from zero to hero for raising the trophy for his effort as part of the winning golf team at Sir Botcho’s Splinter lunch tournament. A birthday drink was enjoyed by Bent Banana.
Carryover POW Jigaw awarded Missing Link the week’s winner as a result from another story from the hash cyclists as Missing Link had said to him while riding – I have got the shits ! Enough said.
RPR 35 was closed by co-hare, Josephine.
Cock a doodle do, the Sydney City Roosters won the NRL Auckland Nines in the Chinese New Year of the Rooster. It was the omen bet for GC hashers after the last week of hashing.
THE PAST WEEK IN THE WHITE HOUSE
It would appear that President Trump signed up on Executive Orders with no regard for the US Constitution or their law. When his own appointed Attorney-General questioned the legality of his temporary travel ban immigration bans, she was dismissed in The Apprentice style -You’re Fired.  A Seattle judge had the same opinion and suddenly the floodgates were open again as airlines started bringing in passengers from the seven banned countries which has fired up the Big Donald. There is great opportunity for the new president to actually show some statesmanship, while he is in the so-called early honeymoon days of government, and have a go at reviewing the USA’s foreign policy and contact a few other major world powers about banning their arms dealers who currently supply bombs and weapons to these tin pot dictatorships and terrorist groups which result in the world being flooded with homeless refugees wandering around the planet as a result of their homes being blown to smithereens and shit scared of being tortured or killed. The question of how did we get into this mess in the first place has continually been avoided for too long.
It seems that Twitter is the preferred tool of a President of a government which makes policy on the run and at the drop of a hat declares open season on anyone, who questions any policy. All from a democratically elected President who received about 28% of the votes during the election on the promise to make America GREAT again, but who it seems at the moment is only able to GRATE most of the other 72% of eligible American voters . A sign at a recent protest rally stated – IKEA has a better cabinet than Trumps. To think this is after about only 4 weeks of a 4 year term, but in all fairness it is still very early days of the presidency as he comes to realise now that he is first time in government as Top Dog, the gold old days of locker room talk, pussy grabbing, failure to submit tax returns to the IRS, alleged assaults of females are well and truly behind him.
It would seem that White House spokesman Mr  Sean Spicer believes Australia’s current Prime Minister is a Mr Trumble which would make him the latest in a long line of PM’s that the incumbent president at the time over recent years in the White House has a record of contacting. The list includes Howard-Rudd-Gillard-Rudd-Abbott-Turnbull-Trumble.  Hopefully Mr Spicer will do some research and realise his error before he too becomes another possible candidate for – Your Fired. Maybe Mr Spicer, in his current job, where spin is a requirement, was actually thinking of that famous Australian cricketer, Hugh Trumble who in the 1890’s took 141 Test wickets bowling leg spin.
Yours in hashing
CIRCUMFERENCE

Run 2048 Pictures Here