If there’s one thing a hare needs on one of those rare occasions when its pissing down rain about 6:00 pm on a Monday evening and that’s a Plan B. Weekly and Sir Slab made sure the event was not a complete washout by moving from the original venue to under cover at the nearby cricket club. At 6:15 pm with the absent hare still directing late comers to the new venue, a couple of groups headed west as the light rain(at that stage) continued. Just down Cheltenham Road from the cricket club, a known trail from the Octoberfest run was revisited and it proceeded along the lake. The runners, all four of them, followed the lake, proceeding towards the Robina shopping centre while the ten walkers continued up towards the railway station and near C Bus Stadium.

Both groups arrived back pretty well at the same time and were opening their first beers as the heavens opened up and all had been saved from a complete drenching by about two minutes.

On a cool and damp night, suddenly everyone got more interested in what was going on with the nosh than in the bucket, especially with KB in the kitchen. A queue formed and its members seemed to have some sort of ravenous desire to be fed and in a hurry. So out came the steaming hot pea and ham soup and the toasted Turkish bread which shut the hungry hordes up for a short time until they regathered forming another queue which KB had recognised as the usual first in the line-up suspects and had to dispersed as the mains were still cooking. As there were lots of helpers assisting KB and Weekly cooking including Sir Prince Valiant, Sir Slab and Ferret, it was soon time for the continuous supply of skewed beef and chicken to be served with rice and vegetable shashliks.

After awhile it became apparent that the previously hungry hashers were finally filling up and could not eat anymore of the tasty nosh. So just to top it all off, out came the dessert which included Mc Donalds Apple Pies (from our ice sponsor) served with custard and ice cream.

About this time, Truck Tyres decided it would be a good time to unwind the jockey wheel on the trailer attached to Bent Banana’s car so as to hook it onto his vehicle to take the trailer home. However, the trailer attempted to take off and KB in trying to stop the swinging barbecue got a pretty severe burn to his hand. Thankfully the chain was still holding or the trailer would have just took off and probably rolled over before coming to rest somewhere near the fence around the cricket oval.

That was all the GM needed to prompt him to get all to clean up the tables and chairs in readiness for a circle.  The hares -Weekly and Brewtus who had apparently assisted in setting of the washed out real run were called out for a drink. Weekly thanked all those went for a run or a walk for finding a trail to suit themselves after his trail had been washed out.All responsible for the nosh including Mrs Weekly, KB and his helpers were thanked for their contributions to the nosh.

Then the GM explained his reasoning for the quick call for a circle as he had a certain hasher in his sights for POW. So he called out Truck Tyres for his indiscretion concerning the trailer. The GM had heard Truck Tyres callously exclaim – What a stupid thing to do ! (in reference to KB’s attempt to save the swinging hot barbecue on the trailer from damage). Apparently it didn’t occur to Truck Tyres that his uncoupling of the trailer’s jockey wheel had contributed to the trailer becoming unstable in the first place and it’s knock on effects. So a big drink was given to the new POW.

RA Shat, prior to taking over proceedings in the circle had knocked over the On Sec’s drink of chateau de cardboard red wine, which was on the ground while he took notes of proceedings. So after one knock on, he followed it up with another one. Last week , he had called out Missing Link for leaving his bag and its contents behind at the splinter lunch. So in a reverse CRAFT moment, this time it was by the RA who again revisited the material he had covered in the previous week’s circle about Missing Link who was quickly exonerated on the grounds of double jeopardy for the previous mention of the same matter.

So moving on when the RA finally got his act together, he called out Swindler for his purchase of 120 good acres of good hashing country at Tyalgum, just over the border in northern NSW. Ferret got a mention as a photographed look-a-like had wrestled a lemon shark in the waters off FNQ. Fuck All, in his absence, also got a mention for his chick magnet attraction on a recent away weekend in Yamba.

Sir Blackie, now reluctantly settling into his role as circle closer, was called up to finish RPR 48 where the hare’s activated Plan B had come together for a good night which had seen the hare’s original plan A spoiled by unusually consistent rain on a Monday evening.

Next Monday is the Hashers Memorial Run in Mick Ring Park to be followed by a good meal in the Tallai/Mudgeeraba area and it will be last normal hash run /circle of this committee before the AGPU/Committee change-over the following week where the new committee for 2017-2018 will be announced in what no doubt will be another memorable evening.

Yours in hashing

CIRCUMFERENCE

Beside the Broadwater and under the Jubilee Bridge was the venue for this event. As hashers arrived they were greeted by Fuller Shit who was doing a demonstration with his drone of how you can perve on your neighbour’s missus/mistress when she goes for a late night pool summer swim in the nuddy.A great turn out of hashers has been a regular occurrence in recent weeks as no one wants to be forgotten when the new committee is announced. It is not uncommon now for hashers to get a tap on the shoulder on a Monday night and be asked if they have a tow bar or access to one. Fanny gave some brief instructions on the trail and to keep an eye out for some historic Southport building which he would ask hashers about upon returning. It wasn’t long before the trail left Brighton Parade and crossed over Ferry Road and from then on it was every hasher for himself to find their way home. The walkers did a similar trail and they too filed in in several groups from different directions. Back at the venue, hash security(those who skipped the exercise component of the evening) were already getting into the free $1 Asahi birthday beers supplied by Sir Two Dogs. As Miscarriage missed out on one of these beers, he was not a happy chappy after putting in the hard yards on the trail. In light of an award, now in the possession of this hasher, it might be an idea not to get caught again pilfering

the birthday beers before he gets one next time.

Due to the restaurant booking time for nosh, the RA moved things along and called circle time. The co-hares, Fanny Charmer and Fuck All’s first virgin effort were rewarded with down downs. Miscarriage described the run as dangerous with its many main road crossings. While on the topic of dangerous, Sir Prince Valiant, reminded Miscarriage about some of his occupational safety incidents with his operation of various pieces of earth moving machinery on his Gilston sub-division. It would appear that Miscarriage and his unfortunate neighbours are learning that DIY land clearing is nothing like DIY home renovations and maintenance which most can master these days after a shopping trip to Bunnings. VD seems to have got himself involved in some sort of bikie wars amongst the various hash cyclists over their colours and gang naming rights. The VLAD(Vulgar, Lowlife and Drunks) laws may be evoked as these groups are certainly larger than three and they have been seen gathering in public places like breakfast cafes and over long lunches so it may end up in the courts with a showdown over the names of the various gangs and these gangs legal representatives, Swindler and Fanny Charmer. The Qld police no doubt will be happy with this outcome as they can include it as another matter resolved in their fake statistics of crime cleaned up on the GC.

Nasty returned some lost property from his pie nosh evening and Jigsaw stepped forward to reclaim some sentimental property, a plate and fork from a wedding present cutlery set. A set of car keys was offered up and the hasher who never loses anything when travelling abroad claimed them. It was none other than Miscarriage who has lost just about everything humanly possible on his travels. More lost property resulted from the splinter lunch as a result of Missing Link having one of those red wine induced CRAFT afternoons. Nominees for the new Booze Masters were invited to show their interest. It was suggested that Flasher may be interested as he would be much stronger after his gym sessions and he could complete the other six months that he didn’t complete on this year’s committee. Caustic Crusader seemed to have an attack of verbal diarrhoea as he couldn’t shut up and with his multiple counts of circle abuse received multiple down downs. Miscarriage also was rewarded with a few drinks including the big one , POW, for his demolition of the neighbours fences while operating his earth moving machinery. Now Loved, the carry over POW, had assembled a good cast to choose from due to events that have recently occurred on previous Monday evenings. During his absence, he had gathered quite a bit of intel and had pretty good wrap sheets on most the nominees who had probably dodged a POW. Even those not in attendance were not left out as nominated look-alikes were called up as their proxys.

Sir Two Dogs was rewarded with a pretty ordinary rendition of Hashy Birthday before again, under duress, Sir Blackie, reluctantly was dragged kicking and screaming to close RPR 47.

Caustic gave us an update on Crocodile’s health while he is in hospital and all our thoughts are with him.

The proceedings then moved across to the nearby Sundale nosh venue with the French theme where you can buy some clothes while you wait for your meal. Weekly was under the pump from disgruntled hashers for purchasing a room temperature cask of white wine instead of a red one, however he performed some sort of miracle to make the green cask of white wine disappear and then in its place a red wine cask appeared. It didn’t take long for this one to disappear either, but this was due to the contents being drained by thirsty hashers washing down their meals of either flathead, chips and salad or spag boll. At least the meal sizes were nothing like traditional French fare, as the portions were generous.

With the early public holiday start, the evening finished before 9pm and at regular intervals , groups wandered off home from another good night of hashing.

Yours in hashing

CIRCUMFERENCE

A total of 37 hungry Splinter Hash participants arrived at Thai Eatery in Tedder Avenue on Friday throwing the restaurant into a chaotic state as chairs & tables were squeezed in to cater for 7 more than the maximum expected. Some even arrived well prior to the offical start time of Midday.

Many guests turned up as the Splinter Hash gathers a reputation for quality food at unbeatable prices and highest quality wine – as it is BYO.

Amongst the guests was an old codger named Joe who was on the very first GCH3 run back before calendars were invented, He brought along a colour picture of a number of very skinny blokes taken on an early run. Times have changed!

Another guest was a retired real estate agent named Max who knows everyone in Main Beach and everywhere else including most of the GCH3. He held court throughout the afternoon listening to success stories of the group. With him was his debt collector friend Peter who checked his black book to see if any of the other guests were on his list.

Blue Card also brought a guest but did not introduce him to the hosts as he is some sort of secret agent. However, he was seen talking secret stuff to Rug.

Bent Banana arrived just as the last seat was taken at the main table and was allocated first seat at the then empty table. Co-host Carefree held his hand till reinforcements arrived shortly after to look after him.

The Chevron Island group then set up camp and proceeded to cause havoc. Thankfully they left their bikes back home as Mrs Kwakka has placed a ban on cycling where food and drink are involved.

The meal started late as FOS and VD were stuffing around trying to find a bottle shop and SPV swooped on the chair allocated to VD at the official table. In the end VD had a more relaxed time with Flasher and other assorted mates and did not have to be on best behaviour.

Just prior to eating guests were asked to come up with $25. This was to avoid any absconders. It worked perfectly, Co-host WrongWay assisted by ‘Pied Piper’ Weekly even balanced the books while securing enough extra funds to ensure an upgrade for WrongWay on his upcoming cruise.

The Thai starters were gobbled up quickly and it was on to a Chicken Vegetable dish, a Massaman Beef Curry and when everyone was groaning about too much food they were seduced by a Spicy Pork finale.

Around 2.30pm ‘Pied Piper’ Weekly announced that the gathering was moving to Schuck Bar and most followed him for $5 Heinekens that went for the remainder of the afternoon. Various others straggled down as they finished their wine supply.

At and on the way to Schuck the revellers made more noise the the mooted light rail. As they passed the petition office a new petition was placed on the table suggesting that the GCH3 show more decorum on their next visit.

As with the previous week’s recce the last to leave were in the dark

Rumour has it that the hosts are bidding to run next month’s Splinter Lunch.

On On

Carefree