Date:12th June 2017………………………………..
Location: Miami…………………………………
Runners:15……………………………………………..
Run Pictures…………………………………………….

Should I or shouldn’t I. This went on in my mind all afternoon, especially as the weather worsened and rain intensified. Finally about 5:30 I thought, poor Ferrett, he will probably be on his own if I don’t go. So I put on the warmest hash gear I could find, packed a rain coat and spare clothes. I got to the BBQ site at the little park at the end of Santa Monica Road on Marine Parade. I knew things weren’t going too good when I stepped out of the car into a big puddle, and rushed to the shelter. Well one could hardly call it a shelter, the rain was blowing from all sides and all the tables and benches were wet. Tried moving around to find the “driest” area, didn’t work.

I was glad to see about 6 other hashers there at 6 pm, mainly committee.  Most were mumbling something about “if I wasn’t on the committee, I wouldn’t bloody be here”. Ferrett was counting numbers as he had to go back to his palace to collect the nosh. Anyway, hashers started drifting in, and about 6:15 pm 15 hashers set off in the torrential rain, 10 returned in about 30 seconds to keep Ferrett company, and 5 runners disappeared towards Pizzey Park. They drifted back after half an hour, but by that time those that stayed back got stuck into worming red wine, or beer.

Ferrett disappeared, and came back with three cooler bags, first was opened and a big pot of hot soup was brought out. Very tasty and warming, good choice. That pot was cleaned out quickly. Next bag was opened and another big pot was brought out, plus a rice cooker and a plate of salad. Curried sausages, mmmm. Sticky rice, mmmm. Anyway it got finished also. Finally the third bag was opened and a bunch of bananas came out and a container of custard. Ferrett got busy cutting up the bananas, and almost everyone had dessert.  Except Bent Banana, by the time he got to it there was only a spoon of custard left.

The assembly looked like a Rosie’s kitchen for the homeless, but there were hardly any passers by to notice.

GM called the circle to order, and updated hashers on Croc’s condition, saying he might need more surgery and treatment could take some time, we all prayed for him.

Truckie was called out for a reason I forget (my notebook was getting wet by this time and pen was misbehaving).

Fanny was called out for being part of the Jacquie Lambie fan club.

Someone said that Brutus had sent his apologies for not coming as he stubbed his toe.

Truckie had a general announcement, he had lost his kit bag about two weeks ago, which looked just like the kit bag GM was waving around, asking if anyone had found it, it was his.

Fanny was called out again for flashing a very expensive looking silver mug he had just bought. Sir Rabbit was called out to examine the mug and give his appraisal. Rabbit thought it could have been worth about $16 especially with the engraving of the Coopers brand. Fanny proudly announces he paid $15, so he though he got a bargain.

Hare Ferrett was called out and Bent Banana gave a run report, saying it was very well set out, marks were good, but it had helped that it was the same trail the Ferrett and Romeo had set 4 days before for the Thursday Hash!!!

RA called out Circumference as he missed out having a run report last week.

Fanny was called out again for being observed cycling up to the top of the Gateway Bridge, and everyone was glad those barriers were high enough to prevent him from falling off. Fanny was commended for helping out a fellow cyclist who had fallen.

RA gave a joke about a farm boy who was deprived of breakfast.

Miscarriage was called out as the birthday boy and had a down down.

POW was called out, Miscarriage again on behalf on Nasty who was away. He called Bent Banana out for tripping him on the run, he called Circumference out for looking like a condom in his rain jacket, and he called Fanny out for wanting to root Lambie. Fanny got the POW, and issued a warning to look out next week.

Bent Banana sets next week’s run from the mansion.

Blackie not there to close the circle, it was closed anyway, and mass stampede to get out of the rain. Miscarriage suggested everyone call their wives to say they would be home early!!!

On on

Mad Mike

Date:5th June 2017………………………………..
Location: Ashmore…………………………………
Runners:23……………………………………………..
Run Pictures…………………………………………….

The Year That was 2016-17 Year Book

23 hashers met at the BBQ area hidden away in a park near the Ashmore Bowling Alley. I got to the car park and thought I was at the wrong place. There were no signs of life, until I saw a glimmer of torch lights through the trees.

Truckie brought the trailer and tables and chairs were being set out. Circumference was busy preparing food for the BBQ, with the help of Hard On.

GM Blue Card called the hare to give instructions and about 7 runners set off. Walkers followed on down the paved track towards Ashmore Plaza, and turned left on Cotlew. Arrows were frequent and clear. Trail crossed Cotlew then turned up Hillview to a checkpoint. There was an executive decision to head west and north. We passed the Southport Warriors Club tucked away in the trees, through the shopping centre and back to the BBQ, a nice half hour walk.

Circumference prepared chicken kebabs, followed by large burgers with lettuce, pineapple slices, beetroot, 3 types of bread rolls, onions, etc. This was followed by chocolate cake, fruit, and syrup. Well done.

GM called the circle to order and called Nasty out, I missed the reason. Nasty started talking gibberish and bowing to the GM with hands held together prayer like. Nasty said it was Chinese.

Missing Link was called out as a returning runner; apparently he got lost trying to find the venue last week.

The hare was called out, no run report so I assume everyone was happy with the run??? Jigsaw gave a food critique, saying it was well prepared and tasty.

The RA then came out and asked if anyone wanted to dob anybody in. Silence, until Miscarriage walked out and had this story about the best way to singe eyebrows. He wanted a tree burnt so attempted to start a fire, went away for a couple of hours on his tractor, and got back to find the fire had burnt out. So he got petrol and splashed it around the tree, bent forward to light it and whoosh, eyebrows singed, along with some hair. This was followed by a joke about a mushroom going into a bar to have fun. After being rejected a couple of times the mushroom complained to the barman, saying he couldn’t understand why, as he was a fungi.

Circumference walked into the circle giving off about the Alan Joyce / Margaret Court debacle, and said that Alan Joyce was rename one of their Fokker planes Kwakka, he called Blackie out for running past arrows, and called Missing Link out for a reason I missed, but Missing Link was in denial. Miscarriage was asked to confirm, he denied any knowledge also, so Missing Link passed the down down to Miscarriage.

RA gave a joke about knock knock at a front door, and a man asking if the housewife had a vagina.

RA went on to bemuse how as we get older the balls we play with get smaller and smaller. As a teenager soccer or basketball are the games, then it becomes cricket, then tennis, then golf. Someone piped up that marbles were smaller, then someone else said when you lost your marbles that was it.

Croc was reported being back in a coma again and possibility of more surgery if he was strong enough. GM asked everyone to pray for Croc. Nasty then asked everyone to recite the Hawaiian pray. “Thank you, I am sorry, I love you, please forgive me.”

POW was Sweat Hog who called out Blackie, Miscarriage and Brutus, however they were sent back and Nasty was called out for coming late, opening a fine bottle of red wine. Nasty said he would not be there next week and passed on the POW to Miscarriage.

Ferrett said the run next week is at Miami.

Blackie closed the circle.

On on

Mad Mike

Date:29th May. 2017…………………………….
Location: Southport…………………………..
Runners:25…………………………………………..
Run Pictures…………………………………………….

 

The Year That was 2016-17 Year Book

25 hashers met at the BBQ area just north of the Southport aquatic centre, numbers lower than expected after the great AGPU. Many hashers away and probably relieved not to be on Committee, including me. However, I was ambushed as I quietly sauntered up to the BBQ area by the new GM. He told me that the newly elected On Sec had resigned and asked if I would take over the position. Reluctantly I agreed, but in the back of my mind I knew Dry Spell was going to kill me.

Run was late being called, and Hare, Hard On told walkers to head south along the walkways towards Australia Fair the loop back after 20 minutes. Runners were told to head west into the Southport area. I understand only about 3 or 4 hashers ran this trail.

After a brisk walk we got back to the BBQ where Hard On and Fanny were busy cooking snags. Butter bread slices were ready and fried onions. This was only the starter, as the hare had beef strips ready to put onto the hot plate, pita bread was stacked and hashers rolled their wrap with the beef, salad, avo. Delicious. Hard On would have a week’s supply on beef strips as there was still another stainless steel container full left over.

This was followed by apple pie slices, ice cream and custard.

The venue was well chosen. Plenty of light, drinking water and tap water nearby, bins nearby, and tables and benches, great spot, for a circle. GM called the circle to order and called out the hare. You could tell the GM was a bit nervous on his first night in charge as he called on GM, meaning VD, to sing the note. Apparently Hard On was getting anxious also as he was overheard phoning his wife and instructing her to get to the venue ASAP with the dessert.

Fanny Charmer was called out for a down down for speaking Spanish, settling disputes in dividing fences issues and offering his services to President Trump in the dispute between Mexico and USA.

Former GM Rock Hard intervened with a blow of the megaphone, walked into the circle to present new GM with the staffs, megaphone and head gear.

Two inquisitive passers-by, Ravi and Charstri, were invited to the circle. Turns out they were from India. No problem, they were given a down down.

RA Ice Man stepped in and asked if there were any charges from the floor, none forthcoming. Next he called out Jigsaw (committee members not usually called out) for delegating Dicky Knee to handle the hash cash. Poxy called asking what icing was, being a newcomer, had not seen an icing before. Josephine promptly dropped a bag of ice in the middle of the circle. Rock Hard was called out for an icing for putting a newcomer on the committee.

AH was called out for parking in a disable zone, but it turned out he did have the sticker, and was excused.

Hare Hard On was called out again for setting the arrows on the wrong side of the road.

Botcho called out Ferrett for leaving the AGPU early and missing the icing, in deference, the ice bag was put onto a bench and Ferrett dropped his shorts and sat on the ice.

Ice Man informed the circle that he was doing a Cert 3 and the thought of the day was about how John Winterbottom walks 5 km every day for longevity, and his family don’t know where he is.

GM resumed the circle and called out the new On Sec for a down down.

Black Stump said he had no news on the condition of Croc, we keep him in our thoughts and prayers.

Truckie, prick of the week, called out several contenders. Rock Hard for his choice of ladies at the AGPU, Dicky Knee who was offered a job, and Sweat Hog for resigning as elected On Sec. Sweat Hog was the winner.

Circumference is the hare next week, run to start near the bowling club at Ashmore.

Blackie closed the circle.

On on

Mad Mike

Date:22th May. 2017…………………………….
Location:Chevron Island…………………………..
Runners:41…………………………………………..
Run Pictures…………………………………………….

 

The Year That was 2016-17 Year Book

A review of the 2016/2017 AGPU(just in case you had some CRAFT issues on
Tuesday morning) and don’t realise you are now on the new committee.

Beers and nibbles in the park from 4:30 pm onwards.
Drink stop at Obsessions bar on Chevron Island.
Next drink stop at either 160 or 360 Bar at Bundall.
Lots more beers and wine at the Soddom and Gomorrah Club (soon to be
renamed the GC Hash clubhouse).
A good feed of roasts /salads followed by dessert choices of pav/fruit
salad/ice cream or blueberry tart. Port and Belgian chocolates.
Speaking of tarts a couple of lasses wandered around the venue , one
with big jugs and the other just fake news from top to bottom – tan ,
tits everything down to her stilettos.

As the outgoing GM, Rock Hard, slipped me a piece of paper to report on
the evenings activities , here goes –

GC HASH AWARDS FOR 2016-2017

BEST RUN        Now Loved (and he got POW for it on the evening)
WORST RUN    Nasty (A Drink Stop in an unlit known druggies hangout park
in Sorrento where there have been stabbings)
BEST NOSH     Dicky Knee’s run ( with assistance from KB and
Circumference) Best Outsourcing Ever by a Hare
WORST NOSH Phantom ( Even his dog passed out after eating)
HASHMEN OF
THE YEAR        Sir Prince Valiant / Miscarriage(for the services
rendered to Showpony and Moonbeams before their passing)
Sir Botcho (Webmaster Extraordinarre)
PRICK OF
THE YEAR       Phantom (Treason –  attempting to remove the Gourmet from
the GC Hash charter)

2017 -2018 COMMITTEE

ON SEC             Sweat Hog (elected in his absence)

HASH CASH      Jigsaw

TRAILMASTER  Sir Botcho
HASH FLASH

TRAILER
MASTER            Truck Tyres(backing up for another year)

BOOZE              Josephine( who says after 29 years GC hashing he
doesn’t even know his assistant)
MASTERS         Poxy(elected in his absence)

RA                      Iceman

GM                     Blue Card

After all this joviality, it was everyman for himself to find their way
home to their residences. My trip to the northern suburbs with Josephine
and Sir Rabbit started off with a 2 klm walk to the light rail. For Sir
Rabbit it was 3 klms, with his 2 steps forward and 1 step sideways gait
as he attempted to hold his tracky dacks up while he made his way to
Surfers Paradise. In Southport, after embarking off the light rail we
crossed over to a taxi who sped off just as we were about to hire him.
So back to walking towards Chirn Park when another cabbie sees us and
pulls over. He tells us he saw that the elderly gentleman (Sir Rabbit)
looked like he was in a bit of trouble, so thankfully this cabbie by the
name of John dropped the “elderly gentleman”, wearing the baggy green
cap who was more pissed than Boonie after a plane flight of drinking
cans to Heathrow, Sir Rabbit off first and then yours truly.

The RPR era is now well and truly finished and for those who wondered
what RPR meant at the end of each report but were afraid to ask for fear
of ridicule , it was the Rock Party Run.

It’s now over and out for this former On Sec
Yours in hashing

CIRCUMFERENCE