Date: 10th July 2017………………………………..
Location: Currumbin…………………………
Runners:29……………………………………………..
Run Pictures…………………………………………….

Traffic on the motorway towards Palm Beach was at a standstill going north and south, due to an accident at Reedy Creek. A bit of local knowledge and back roads got us to the venue about 6:00 pm. The trailer was already there and being prepared for the evening.

GM was not around to start the run, and hare was still preparing. Hashers were getting anxious, and you could hear the murmurs about getting started. Hare asked for another 10 minutes to finish setting up and hopefully GM would have arrived by then.

Time passed, and finally the hare was called up to give directions. Go over the bridge, go over another bridge, don’t take the first bridge, go to the second bridge to have a nice long walk/run. It didn’t make sense but once you did the trail, it all worked out well.

The trail started over the small bridge near the shelter and then over the new pedestrian bridge to the south side of the Currumbin Creek. Runners had a false trail west, walkers went east along side the creek. We went under the Thrower Drive bridge and continued alongside the creek, the under the Gold Coast Highway bridge. We crossed Duringan Street to walk up the on ramp and crossed the creek on the Gold Coast Highway. We circled back down to the walkway along the north side of the creek, and onto the board walk back towards the shelter. Good walk, probable around 45 minutes. The runners did a bigger loop down past elephant rock for a total 6.5 km run.

Visitor Sean commented on how well the walk was marked, and how scenic the boardwalk was.

Now Loved set up cups of creamy pumpkin soup, followed by chilli con carne, salad and an avo puree on a bed of flat bread, and topped with yogurt. This was followed by ice cream with a Tim Tam. Very tasty, thanks to the hare and KB for assisting.

GM called the circle to order, and immediately called the hare into the circle. Main criticism seemed to be too many bridges, but everyone enjoyed the run. Slug thought it was well set and arrows were very clear. It was Now Loved’s birthday and the birthday hymn was sung. He was given some sort of painting, all nicely wrapped. The hare was disappointed there was no food critique and wanted a nosh vote, he had made everything himself, cutting pumpkins, mashing avos. Eventually GM gave in and asked for a show of hands. Everyone put their hand up, good one Now Loved.

Returning runners were called up. Sir Slab was away on a long trip around Darwin and Broome. Elvis, Fuller and Hot Dick were other recipients and had a down down.

Irish Sean was called out as a visitor, being Mad Mike’s wife’s sister’s husband, probably not technically an in-law, more likely an out-law. He was actually at GC hash in 2002, last time he was here. He had a down down.

GM handed over to RA.

He pulled out all Kiwis present, Sir Slab and Botcho, for the NZ Rugby Lions tour draw.

Hot Dick was called out for calling Sir Rabbit Ferrett, Hot Dick denied, and there was some confusion. Both Rabbit and Hot Dick had a down down.

Irish Sean was called out again for showing disrespect to the RA and circle by going to a nearby tree and having a piss. Another down down.

After a few jokes RA handed back to the GM.

An update from Fanny for those wanting to go to Viet Nam for the cycle tour, he is going to Canberra and will take any visa applications for processing. Get the forms to him ASAP.

GM took off the jacket he was wearing and asked who left it at AGPU. Hard On claimed it.

POW Caustic was called out, and uncharacteristically was finding it difficult to find a contender for POW. Bent Banana, Truck Tyres and Sweat Hog were called out, but could not find a good reason. He was deciding to defer to next week, when Sweat Hog mumbled something about “who would want to have a drink with Caustic anyway” Bang, just what Caustic needed. Sweat Hog got the POW for POW abuse and disrespect.

Next weeks run to be set by Wrong Way, bring a chair.

Remember to use [email protected] if you have a story for RA.

On on

Mad Mike

Date:3rd July 2017………………………………..
Location: Chevron Island…………………………
Runners:31……………………………………………..
Run Pictures…………………………………………….

I should have known there could be trouble ahead when I stepped into the shiggy trap when I was walking towards the house on the dark side grassy area. I could feel the cold, muddy water seeping into my shoe, and splash the track suit leg. Oh shit! To make matters worse Slug called out, “so you found the hole also”. Looks like the trap caught a few people.

Good to see a decent number of hashers at the house on Chevron Island, did I say house? Should have said mansion. Truck Tyres skilfully backed the trailer into the car port, and at 6:15 prompt, GM called the hare, Shat, to give instructions. Seems like there were three choices, which seemed odd. Runners, walkers, and ???

Everyone set off anticlockwise around Chevron Island. Lights on the buildings in Surfers were spectacular. I joined a group of walkers. Nasty suggested a few short cuts, but we did see arrows, maybe Shat had the same idea when he set the run. After about twenty minutes on the home stretch, we saw the runners coming in, so although a bit on the short side, well set.

Hashers dived into the eskies for beer and wine, and Shat brought out what looked like mini quiches. Tasty. This was followed by pots and pots of pasta and mince. Some hashers were using the Arabic bread to make a wrap. Dessert was ice cream, fruit, whipped cream. KB and Hard On ably assisted Shat with serving up.

First down down went to Miscarriage for leaving his sweat shirt behind at the AGPU.

Missing Link for misleading a friend to the wrong venue at the Friday Splinter lunch.

Circumference stepped into the circle to berate the GM at last week’s run for pissing on fellow hashers at the end of the circle, while talking to them. GM was upset that this was recorded after the circle had closed. Nothing is sacred on hash!

Black Stump was called out for his 77^th birthday, and doing a spectacular spin off the track at the races in Warwick over the weekend. He did manage to get the Porsche back on track and complete the race.

The hare, Shat, was called out. Bent Banana gave a run report saying the run was short and fast. Everyone liked the food.A visitor from the Philippines hash, Two Rooms was called out for a down down. Seems like whenever they went on tour, although he should have been sharing, managed to always double book rooms.

Circle was handed over to the RA. After the opening joke, he called out the tourists, Shat, Price and Nasty stepped in with a few stories about the trip.

Fanny was called out for an altercation over the weekend. I didn’t catch what it was about.

Dicky Knee, KB and Circumference were called out and given the nosh of the year plate from the AGPU.

After a few more jokes, RA handed the circle back to the GM.

Sympathies were expressed for the passing of Croc’s wife, Sharon. Blackie gave a few words on Croc’s condition. Our thoughts are with him.

POW was Caustic, but as he was not present, deferred to next week.

Now Loved sets next week’s run from Palm Beach at a venue to be advised.

Blackie closed the circle. However, Miscarriage still had the last word. He called out Prince Valiant, KB and Fuller Shit for showing disrespect to hashers by having unruly long hair.

Remember to use [email protected] if you have a story for RA.

On on

Mad Mike

Date:26th June 2017………………………………..
Location: Emerald Lakes…………………………
Runners:25……………………………………………..
Run Pictures…………………………………………….

A block hole off the Nerang Broadbeach sprung into life , thankfully,
when Truck Tyres arrived and illuminated the venue with the trailer’s
light show. Ex-GM gave instructions about the arrow markings indicating
runners/walkers trails. It didn’t take long for all to realise they were
either coming or going but in opposite directions as there were arrows
on the same stretch of path going forwards and backwards. A rather
unusual way of marking runners/walkers trails together but effective as
you could choose between On On or No No, or a combination of both run
out / walk back that became an On No which Rug and Jigsaw had a go at
successfully.

Cold beverages were enjoyed by all while hoping the hare would return
with some nosh. Sure enough the hare emerged with his Two Pot Screamer
nosh. Pot 1 contained pea and ham soup and included some tangy mystery
ingredient which had most hashers screaming as to what it was. The
infamous blast from the past Second Pot emerged containing pasta and had
the hare screaming for all to eat up as there was plenty of it.

Next up to top off the carbo loading was apple strudel and custard. Miscarriage
showed how his observations/experiences in Cambodia had humbled him into
realising that those who have the least can make the most of it by
jamming all three courses into his small soup cup, regardless of the
combination of all 3 different tastes. So he had managed to have a
pea/ham soup, pasta, apple strudel and custard all in a cardboard cup for his nosh.

There maybe a start-up opportunity for him in cheap street food down the track
with no washing up of dishes required. Speaking of washing up dishes,
for those sophisticated hashers with their own plates, it came to the
attention of yours truly that you need to pull the sink out of the
trailer if you wash your dish in the sink or you will flood the trailer
as the water needs to drain externally with no internal
plumbing/drainage on the sink while it is in the trailer.

GM Blue Card gave instructions to clear the decks in readiness for the
circle . Fanny Charmer spoke of the 5.83 klm run (sprint) as having a
resemblance to modern banking, good but with few checks now being
sighted these days. So Fanny and few others had improvised and created a
few on the run for a breather. Slug’s critique of the walk noted a few
places where the hare was indecisive as to where the trail was going but
shit obviously happens when you are setting a trail which goes backwards
and forwards at the same time while going around in a circle touring the
castles that people call home around their Emerald Lakes moats.

The returning runners were next up and out came a bandana wearing
Swindler, Caustic Crusader, Sir Two Dogs and Now Loved who advised his
gift for the GM was still waiting a visa approval to get into Australia.
Fuller Shit dropped into the circle electronically via Sir Two Dog’s
smartphone from Darwin where it appeared he was up to his nuts in one of
the local customs of jug handling Darwin stubby size. The RA / RJ
(Resident Jester) opened his gig with a joke about an unlicensed fire
arm which showed some great research and patience in its delivery. It
was brought to the RA’s attention that Truck Tyres gave his moccasins a
bike ride in his cleats over the weekend but the conveyor of the
information got the down down instead, due to some BS hierarchy
exemption backfire on Fanny Charmer. Another mention for Fanny Charmer
regarding ignoring an e mail via Blue Card from a Slovenian wanting
legal advice on child care centre leases in Australia. Josephine gave an
expletive loaded note for the down down before stepping up after the
down down to announce that 5 cent coins are no longer legal tender in
the hash booze bucket. Could be an interesting next 11 months and maybe
a can of worms for the boozemasters with lots of travelling hashers
bringing back foreign currency coinage which will no doubt turn up from
time to time. First AWOL hash travellers will be Kwokka for 6 weeks and
Rug who will be absent for 6 months (will next see us at the Xmas
Party). Missing Link dodged getting a down down by playing a clever game
of chicken over ownership of a hash jacket with the RA during the circle
before finally reclaiming his spray jacket from lost property left at
the previous week’s run.

Current POW, Rug called out Caustic Crusader, Wrong Way (Woodsie) and
Circumference as his nominations but in an indecisive decision making
process chose the politically incorrect eeny/meany/ minee/ mo method
which just happened to include mentioning the N word but the decision
came out with it going to a white boy – Caustic Crusader. During the
evening he had made disparaging remarks about the arrows on the run
setting and it surfaced that he had borrowed a mobile telephone which
had stuffed up the chance of the GM getting a ride home from the Xmas
party as he was told by Uber that he was already on his way to Byron Bay
while still at the venue. An update on Crocodile ‘s health issues was
delivered by Caustic who will present him with a Get Well card signed by
GC hashers.

It was brought to the attention of the GM that Sir Rabbit had wandered
off to a borough and was seen to have his hand on his old fellow. Maybe
he was pissing or maybe he was doing something else but the whatever he
was up to the GM considered it was disrespectful to exit the circle, so
upon his return he got a down down.

Carefree got the circle closing role as a mark of respect to his long
time friend, former circle closer, Moonbeams.

STOP PRESS

As hashers departed, Sir Rabbit and Circumference got involved in a
conversation with the GM. During the course of the conversation, the GM
exposed himself and began pissing in front of us causing us to just walk
away to avoid the spray. Still pissing without taking breath, the GM
continued with his conversation expecting us to just stay there and
listen. We had exited to the car ASAP.There’s no point in bringing it up
again in the circle as the GM will use his exemption card to avoid any
recrimination. So a warning to just beware of this behaviour in case it
may happen to you in any future conversations with the GM (maybe a good
idea to wear your giveaway spray jacket).

A shattered Sir Rabbit couldn’t believe how he had just been charged
with the same offence by the same person yet by his ranking, he may
escape , MAYBE !, over to you POW.

Yours in hashing
CIRCUMFERENCE
(Still on secondment, going around for a second time, how do you get off
this merry-go-round ?)

Date:19th June 2017………………………………..
Location: Carrara…………………………………
Runners:26……………………………………………..
Run Pictures…………………………………………….

 Elvis in the building at Gracelands and live within walking distance of the GC’s newest Commonwealth Games venue was served up by the hare, Bent Banana.The instructions were that there were 3 trails and once out of the property just across the road through the neighbours place and then follow the trail. Sounded simple enough until Missing Link started checking and suggested – which neighbour ? Eventually by a process of trial and error, arrows were found and all 3 groups headed east past the soccer fields and down to the old GC Suns demountable HQ. Next came the highlight, organised tours for hashers of the new GC Suns offices and Commonwealth Games venue where basketballers were giving the new digs a good workover. Brutus was pleased to see that a bar had been included. After the tour, walkers and runners followed their respective trails. However visitor Jailer, Circumference and Brutus decided to do their own thing and go back the same way they had come, knowing they be on the trail, albeit in reverse. Well that was the plan until they basically walked around in circles trying to find the out trail back to the hare’s neighbours place. Eventually after a big loopy tour of the soccer ovals, they found the back gate but it was locked with a bloody great padlock on it. So after squelching around the area, they finally found by sheer accident the walkers path home, just in time to see Sir Blackie and Miscarriage, the only runners returning from the real trail.

The hare had stoked up a fire and hashers settled in for cold refreshments and crackers/dips before the mains were served. KB assisted the hare in serving up two casseroles and vegies followed by fruit salad and cream. Then the GM asked for a clean up of the venue in preparation for the circle.

From out of left field in a untimely not so sympathetic hash moment, Hard On because of his occupation, got called out regarding the topical subject of the use of flammable building material cladding on high rise apartment buildings which we all know are part of the lifestyle for many GC residents.

The hare got a run rating of – Absolutely Magnificent from Miscarriage. At the other end of ratings, Fanny Charmer declared what he did was pretty lousy. Carefree enjoyed the walk and good tour of the Comm Games venue and looked forward to seeing some more live dribbling with other hashers at the actual Games next year after he gets his tickets.

Down downs for the returning runners went to Seedy, Elvis, KB, Rock Hard (now a honorary member of the Gerry and the Pacemakers group) and Slug after his jailbreak from a Thai prison(well the news said there was an Aussie involved and Slug arrived back around the same time with his prisoner style haircut). Visitor Jailer and his host Sweat Hog were next up with Jailer still believing the soggy tour of the soccer fields/locked gate he had experienced with local GC hashers that evening was just a set up when it was actually a real fuck up which apparently happens every time he gets an invite to hash.

In a night of substitutes, Sir Botcho stepped up as RA and told the NSW born hashers to start drinking the Tooheys New that the boozemasters had purchased for them. Hard On got a call up for disappearing off to Sydney AWOL from his marriage.

Stand-in Hash Flash and current POW , Fanny Charmer, awarded the prize of new POW to Rug as he will be disappearing for a few months and all agreed that no one would like to see him miss out on getting his turn. Josephine, seized upon the strategic moment as soon as Fanny had offloaded the POW, to charge him with hooning as he exited the previous week’s run. Only a wet night had probably saved him from coming to the attention of a random police patrol as he drove recklessly away from the venue on the wet road.

Nobody seems to want to close the circle these days with the recent passing of hashers who have had that role, however a reluctant Carefree did the honours. Sir Blackie was seen hiding in the background as he apparently does not want a bar of this job, either.

Ex- GM, Rock Hard will be the hare next week and the trailer(compliments of Truckie) will be used for the nosh on offer from the venue, again in the suburb of Carrara, this time at Lakeside Drive.

Yours in hashing

CIRCUMFERENCE

(on secondment this week from AAP Rooters)