Category Archives: Hash Trash

Run 2097…Hare Sir Blackstump

Date: 8th January 2018…………………………
Location:Bundall………………………………….
Runners:32………………………………………….
Run Pictures……………………………………….

I asked a few hashers, and this is the first time Black Stump has hosted from his “new” house in Sorrento. Blackie said he missed the spaces at Nerang where he could swing a tractor around, but he has settled in now. Hashers gathered around the pool, and gazed across the canal where a girl in a bikini got out of her pool and sauntered into her house.

 

Blackie called the group together and gave instructions. Walkers go out of the gate and turn right, follow the arrows. Runners turn left. He promised a short run/walk and plenty of Spag Bol for later. Walkers went southwest along Boomerang Crescent, a quick tour of Wombat Court, back onto Boomerang, then right into Platypus Avenue. Here the arrows seemed to disappear, but there was nowhere else to go, so it was heading back home again. As we approached Blackie’s house we saw the runners coming from the other direction. About half an hour, short as promised by Blackie.

 

A few hashers jumped into the pool, apparently Weekly created a tsunami and displaced a lot of water. Blackie requested the trailer and had set up some tables and chairs in any available space. There were dips and crackers on the tables. Blackie was busy inside stirring the Bol and Spaghetti. He put grated cheese and a bowl of salad out, with garlic bread. He frantically called for Fanny to come and help him serve up the Spag and Bol. Several went back for seconds. This was followed by ice cream, chocolate mousse and a few other pies.

 

GM called the circle, some suggested he should hold the circle from the middle of the pool, anyway, everyone seemed to gather around ok.

 

Magician was called in for talking along with Blackie for leading Magician astray.

 

Blackie was told to stay in the circle as hare. GM asked any of the runners for a report. Fanny started, until someone shouted that he wasn’t even on the run. Two Dogs reported that he and Brewtus ran about 3.6 kms. Aussie was brought in to keep Blackie company. Shat gave a note.

 

Rug was asked if his phone had dropped into the water, it was actually Truckie.

 

There were three visitors from Darwin, friends of Fuller who gave a note.

 

Weekly stepped into say that he had his hair permed, and was caught by Prince. Slab gave a note.

 

Donald Trump made a special appearance to present Fuller with a special award. Fuller was asked why he did not have any oil in his vehicle engine, not good for engines. Fuller was given a T-shirt, which he put on. Jigsaw was called in to note the genealogy on the T-shirt, all about all the little shits and old shits. Fanny was called in to interpret the legal writing at the bottom of the shirt. They joined Fuller in a down down. Note by Truckie.

 

RA stepped in and called Nasty in. He read a newspaper report about a nasty spitting in the car park.

 

Circumference was called out for spilling the beer esky on the way in and depriving any potential for an icing.

 

Aussie was called in and presented with a cap marking his 450 run..

 

Caustic called Weekly in for displacing the pool water level. Causing gave a note for the four of them.

 

Caustic explained how he was compensated while overseas and a flight from hell caused him to be stranded for three days. He was given about $900 per day. He was not complaining, it was more than he paid for the flight.

 

Slug was brought out for his birthday drink, Prince gave a note.

 

RA went on with a few jokes.

 

GM asked if there were any announcements.

 

Caustic gave an update on the Commonwealth Games event, including various options on pricing. He encouraged hashes to sign up.

 

GM announced the car rally to be held 17 March, and asked for a show of hands from those looking forward to participating. It was a Saturday drive, lunch stop, overnight at a secret location. Accommodation $80 for a two-bed room. Three meals at $10 each, all up about $70 per person, unless you wanted a room to yourself. Book early with Jigsaw.

 

No POW this week as POW was not there, to be carried over.

 

Slab presented GM with three gifts from his overseas travels.

 

Next week’s run by Weekly, see the website.

 

Brewtus closed the circle.

 

Remember to use [email protected] if you have a story for RA.

 

On on

Mad Mike

Run 2096…Hare Hierarchy

Date: 1st January 2018…………………………
Location:Gracelands……………………………
Runners:59………………………………………….
Run Pictures……………………………………….

Well, this must be the GCH3 Gourmet Men’s run with all the differences you could imagine. There was no run last week as it was Christmas Day, so two weeks between runs. It was an early start at 3:00 pm. Partners and wives were invited. The Thirsty Thursday mixed Hash was included. Everyone was gathered beside the pool. Tables were set out between the house and the pool. Doc was setting up his music equipment. Food and salads were laid out on the table in the cabana. It had the makings of a really fun evening.

 

Two Dogs, who was by the pool, was getting impatient and with ten seconds to go before 3:15 he started calling for run instructions. The hare, Bent Banana, was already standing on the steps in front of his house. He said the run/walk would be fairly short, however, there was an obstacle. He called Two Dogs over to hold a pole, and once Two Dogs mastered holding it properly, Bent Banana demonstrated how to get around the obstacle. He suggested if anyone did not want to go around the obstacle, just to return home.

 

The run turned left out of the driveway to the end of the cul-de-sac, through a neighbour’s yard towards the new sports facility. We continued on the grass alongside the lake towards a chain link fence. Here was the obstacle. The fence continued about half a metre into the lake, and the pole BB was talking about was the end of the fence. If you didn’t want your shoes to get wet, you had to keep one foot at the edge, hold tightly to the pole and chain link and swing yourself around the pole, and get your other foot to the other edge without getting wet. Two Dogs was being the gentleman, and helping everyone around. The run continued west along Nerang Broadbeach Road towards the traffic lights at Lakeview Drive. Runners continued towards Nerang, walkers turned right for home.

 

Everyone brought their own grog, eskies everywhere. Fuller and Flasher brought their drones. Flasher’s drifted off uncontrollably by the tiniest gust of wind into trees next door. He ventured along the river bank to retrieve it. Later Fuller showed how a drone should be flown. There were dips on all the tables, the BBQ was fired up for the snags. People were still arriving. A few were in the pool. Doc got the music going. GM announced that the food was ready. Lots of chicken, lots of ham slices, and lots of different salads. Dessert was Pavlova.

 

A bit later, GM made a few announcements. He thanked the hosts Bent Banana and Banana Blender or Bender? Slip of the tongue. There were a couple of down downs to authenticate that it was still a hash run. The Bananas for hosting, and being the hare. Truckie, together with visitors from overseas. Caustic and Magician for mooning as they went past the RA. Flasher for losing his drone. No POW this week either. Phone Ranger, the GM of the Thursday hash said a few words, and thanked the GCH3 for a splendid event.

 

A storm was brewing, so everyone helped pack tables and chairs away in the trailer. Rubbish was taken away, and the cabana was cleaned up as much as possible.

 

Thanks to the Bananas for hosting another great event.

 

Remember to use [email protected] if you have a story for RA.

 

On on

Mad Mike

Run 2095…Hare Hierarchy

Date: 18th December 2017……………………..
Location:Surfers Paradise……………………….
Runners:36…………………………………………….
Run Pictures……………………………………….

The Christmas Run is finally here. A good number of hashers gathered from 5:00 pm on the rooftop garden of the Bruce Bishop car park. Booze Masters brought good quality beers. Almost everyone was wearing the new white t-shirt and Santa hats, and Jigsaw rolled up with a stack of pizza boxes. KB ambled over in his inflatable Santa suit, Sir Rabbit, Weekly and Brewtus donned theirs. Weekly did something funny inside his suit and the batteries tipped out. He had a bit of difficulty trying to recover the batteries and get dressed again. Chrissy was dressed in a nice skimpy Christmassy outfit.

 

About 5:50 the whistle was blown and Jigsaw lead hashers out of the car park, up onto Cavill Ave, onto The Esplanade and into the first drinks stop in Elston Bar in the Soul building. I think staff there were caught unawares and scrambled to get bottled beers ready, although management there were informed. KB was being a real Santa, giving kids little presents.

 

After half an hour the whistle was blown again, and hasher were led back along Cavill Ave, right up Orchid Ave, through the Asian restaurants alley, across Surfers Paradise Boulevard, through the Circle on Cavil park, across Gold Coast Highway and into the Helm Bar. The deck there had great views of the river and glorious sunset. Josephine won the huge ham leg raffle. Will he bring it to the New Year’s Day run? I wonder.

 

Around 7:00 pm whistle was sounded and hashers departed back through Circle on Cavill to the tram station. Nice tram ride up to Southport South station, and a short walk to the Bombay Affair Indian restaurant on Scarborough Street. The owner, Naresh, was there to greet us and get us all seated. Plenty of red and white wine was available, Naresh provided jugs of beer.

 

The meal consisted various plates including chicken tikka, a chaat, curries, naan bread, rice, papadums, which just kept coming. This was followed by a dessert. Chrissy wandered around with nothing much on, chatting to everyone.

 

GM made a few announcements.

  • Remembering departed hashmen.
  • No Xmas Day run.
  • The New Year’s Day run is at Bent Banana’s palace, starting at 3:00 pm. A short run starting at 3:15 pm. A family affair, BYO booze and drinks, hash provides food, $10 per person.
  • Botcho to start new lotto run starting Jan 8.
  • Last week’s naming confirmed as Tooth Prick.

 

No POW this week, or next. Look out, though. The POW has a long memory.

 

Remember to use [email protected] if you have a story for RA.

 

On on

Mad Mike

Run 2094…Hare Fanny Charmer & Rug

Date: 11th December 2017……………………..
Location:Nerang……………………………………
Runners:36…………………………………………….
Run Pictures……………………………………….

Finding 29 Martin Street Nerang proved interesting. Cars were driving up and down looking for it. House number was partially hidden by trees. A small group was standing outside 27. Finally the side door was seen open, and sure enough, Fanny and Rug, plus a few others were inside. Chairs were placed around the meeting room near the wall, and around three tables set out L shaped. Pots were on the stove being gently stirred. Good number of hashers started drifting in.

Outside on the driveway, Fanny the hare called us together, and gave instructions. Magician ran in, after going to a nearby shopping centre and running around it four times. He said he had run all the way from Broadbeach. The hare pointed up the mountain. Did everyone feel the same as me? The dreaded Nerang Forest. I remember some time ago the runners ended up in Pacific Pines and had to get a taxi home.

Wasn’t that Mumbles run? Hare directed hashers to run on blue chalk arrows, then shredded paper, until it ran out, then toilet paper until it ran out. He said the checks were marked with red and white striped plastic tape, and the false trails were short. He said walkers could go up the dreaded hill as far as they wanted, then just turn back if they had enough. The group I was with decided to turn back after 20 minutes. Good walk.

Eskies were just outside the door, near a bin. Jiggy set up office at one end of the L shaped table collecting cash, Ice Man was at the other end of the L doling out new white Christmas shirts with logo embroidered. He was slowly getting a bit frantic as hashers appeared for their shirts but their name and shirt size were not on his list. Weekly was getting upset and moaning about being away for 4 weeks and being dropped off the register.

Eventually he got a size XLx3. Not sure if white is a good choice for Weekly, should have been burgundy red. Sure enough, Weekly spilt his wine glass, and wine half way across the table. Someone said to Weekly, “use your new shirt to wipe it up”

Fanny came out of the kitchen with a tray full of poly cups. Service, he said and started giving out mushroom soup, I went back for seconds. A Rug special. Next hashers were called in to line up for rice and beef curry dished out by KB. Visitor Russ, brought by Fanny, mentioned that Victoria does a wonderful curry. Next came Rug’s speciality dessert, a brioche and apple pudding with chocolate topping.

GM called the circle and pulled in hare Fanny and his assistant Rug. Rug certified there were no calories in the dessert. Aussie gave a run report and had to be interrupted after 5 minutes. Josephine gave a note.

Visitor was Russ who downed his drink expertly, Fanny gave a note.

Returning runners were Flasher, Ferrett, Phantom, Weekly, Brewtus and Aussie. Weekly gave the GM a small bar of soap and a pen, both from the Hilton. Magician gave a note.

Naming of new hashers. Allan now becomes Hal Al and Christian becomes Tooth Prick. Both had a down down. Link gave a note.

Bent Banana was called out to see if a white shirt, which looked like his, was found. Was it his? No, but Sweat Hog claimed it saying it belonged to Poxy. Sweat Hog had a down down, note by Josephine.

RA stepped in and ran off a few quick jokes. He then handed out special run caps to Sir Prince for doing 1650 runs, Hard On for doing 200 runs and Ice Man for doing 200 runs. They had a down down.

Ice Man announced the Christmas Run details, told everyone to get to Bruce Bishop car park at 5:00 pm. Wear the new white shirt and a Santa hat. Make sure to bring to Go-Card for tram. Cost was $25 for members and $50 for visitors and those who have not completed 10 runs , and expect Chrissie to help out.

 

Flasher was called out for usual short cutting. Two Dogs gave a note.

Magician told a story about parking at Bunnings and seeing this old man trying to pick up a huge bag of manure and putting it into the back of the car. Magician who was parked beside him, blow his horn loudly, and the poor old man dropped the huge bag of manure. Poor old man was Phantom, who took the goblet, but passed it to Magician for the down down. Phantom gave a note.

Ferrett announced the possible demise of hashes in Singapore as a hasher was caught laying a trail with flour and fined $1,000 Sir Prince said that someone was recently penalised with 12 months jail and 3 lashes.

 

GM came back in and called Swindler, Slug, VD, KB and Hard On into the circle, just for being on the 2015 hash committee and on the back of his t-shirt. Botcho gave a note.

POW Shat stepped in suitable clad, and called out five nominees.

  1. Flasher for having the gall to return to hash
  2. Magician for wandering around the shopping centre earlier.
  3. Weekly for wine spill earlier
  4. Hard On for having his wife wait all this time in the car outside waiting to take him home
  5. Ferrett for his outlandish long socks

Magician got the POW by vote of the loudest voices. Shat gave a note.

GM announced that the regular Monday New Years Day run will be held a Bent Banana’s house. Families invited for a 3 pm start, short run at 4 pm. BYO drinks and hash will provide food, all for $10 per person, children free.

Botcho announced that the next Hash Lotto would start January 8, register with him

Blackie celebrated an outstanding win over the weekend coming first in the triathlon in 4 age groups.

Nasty called end of circle.

Remember to use [email protected] if you have a story for RA.

On on

Mad Mike