Date: 5th February  2018…………………………
Location:Nerang……………………………………
Runners:30…………………………………………….
Run Pictures……………………………………….

Was Nerang Forest going to live up to its reputation and claim some hashers? What stories would emerge after this run? The mountain looked down on us huddled in the shelter at Tom Rose Park Nerang beckoning us into the forest. Ball Point set hashers off into the bush. I offered to stay and help, but was quickly shown the trail. Truckie and I scrambled along the concrete drain at the edge of the houses, then turned up into the track up the mountain. We saw the runners trail to the right, but kept left on the walkers trail up the track. We had lots to talk about the setting of the Rally route on March 17. We followed the trail, which kept climbing. After about 30 minutes at a junction in the tracks, we saw the runners emerging from another track. They seemed lost, and they were checking everywhere. A group of us decided to return down the same track we had just climbed. Sweat Hog was ahead and checked every possibility for the trail back home. We knew the shelter was just south of us, and it was getting dark. Finally Sweat Hog found the trail, actually not far from the junction where the walkers and runners parted. It was not easy to spot. The on-home trail zigged and zagged through the forest, then we could hear voices back at the shelter. Not everyone was back yet. We had been out over an hour, but the last hashes returned half an hour later.

Ball Point had a platter with biscuit and sliced BBQed sausages. He was busy stirring a huge pot. He later called hashers to line up and served chicken cacciatore with mushrooms, baked potato and slices of French loaf. Dessert followed, orange cake topped with chocolate and cream ganache.

GM called the circle. Ball Point strode into the middle. Sir Two Dogs gave a scathing report saying that without modern technology, they would not be able to get back. Sweat Hog commented on his frustration at not finding trail. He said the walkers did more than the runners. Shat commented on the meal. STD gave a note.

Ball Point came back into the circle for his birthday drink, note by Miscarriage.

Visiting hasher was WeeWe from Mackay Hash, HalAl gave a note.

Fanny was brought in for wearing fancy new pink shoes, and had his down down from one of them.

GM called Shat and asked if he was Peter Foster, and if he was up to his old tricks selling slimming tea. Weekly gave a note.

Now Loved claimed a lost plate.

Fanny was called in to explain how Chrissie broke three ribs trying to pole dance on the tram, however, it was not him that walked Chrissie home, it was KB.

There was some talk about fingers in pussies, when Poxy exclaimed “2 in the pink and one in the stink”

Stand-in RA was Missing Link. He had no charges, but had a couple of jokes.

GM called POW Miscarriage into the circle. He called out:-

• FuckAll for knocking over his beer
• Ball Point for the trail fuck up
• Not mentioning any name, a hasher who offered to take him back to Miami to collect his bike
• Bent Banana for extending the Theme Park protest meeting to the late hours.

Bent Banana got the POW.

Weekly begged for the return of the golf trophy which had disappeared after the Friday lunch.

Hard On was thanked for sweeping horse shit out of the shelter, maybe a new committee job?

Miscarriage announced the memorial lunch on Sunday for Show Pony and Moonbeams, be there by 1:00 pm

Brewtus called end of circle.

Remember to use [email protected] if you have a story for RA, and register for the Rally on 17 March, maybe an Irish Theme?

On on

Mad Mike

Date: February 2 2018………………………….

Location:Botcho’s Golf Club………………….

Hashers:44…………………………………………..

Run Pictures.

Date: 29th January 2018…………………………
Location:Robina……………………………………
Runners:29…………………………………………….
Run Pictures……………………………………….

Another Sirs Run

It showered , but it did not rain. The 1st Sir , Sir Slab reset his trail on his bike OR did he ?  The 2nd Sir unpacked a truck load of pots , pans , woks and stuff from his 4wd. The crowd gathered under the roof of the Cheltenham Cricket Club and waited patiently for orders.

SS waved the flag after mumbling something about 6ks or was it 3 ks but who gives a damn , anyway the pack took off leaving the 2nd Sir to set up his chinese kitchen ably assisted by several non Runners , you know the usual suspects ….Dicky , Hard On , Blue Card .  Botcho and Ballpoint were also seen to be lazing about as well , seems Botch was injured or worn out or something and the other bloke did’nt offer an excuse

Yours truly was a bit delayed with trying to fill the water tank of the trailer so we could have some wash up liquid after the meal …. Truckie ???? Anyways I got going and lost the trail before I went 100 metres.. so be it , I persevered and eventually found Caustic and Shat who redirected me back home. Due to my lack of knowledge I cannot give you any comments on the rest of the run.

Back at the ranch the cook had donned his chinkie hat and was sweating it out cooking the main course while Hard On was over cooking the entree…burnt Dim Sims and wee Spring Rolls were soon devoured by the hungry pack.

29 paid up and settled in for the main course of Beef stew cooked with soy sauce and other ingredients to make it taste chinese … the mango tossed in at the last minute actually gave it a good look and disguised it so it came out as … weefnchowmeennmango and rice a famous dish from Whoflungdungs Peking Cookery book…nice touch Sir PV,,,always a good meal from the master of the Wok.  Sweets was his usual Flied Blannanas , also very popular with Queenslanders….

The circle was a blur it went so fast , no really I nearly fell asleep as it went way on beyond my bedtime. Bluey raved on a bit and gave a few miscreants a down down , welcomed a returning runner or two , invited Miscarriage into the circle , that,s always a mistake, handed the reins over to the RA who told a couple of jokes , several people got the punchline on one of them.. eventually Bluey got the circle back and gave Botcho the floor to give out the POTW . He had no idea what to do with it so gave it to Miscarriage because he is the most popular boy in town , no seriously it was a democratic vote that got him the award .

The circle was closed down by Ballpoint who is next weeks hare  it’s somewhere in Nerangatang country I believe. Check the web site eh..

On On for ever

Ferrett …………… soon to be Sir Ferrett…..

Commonwealth Games Hash Event…Details

Date: 22nd January 2018…………………………
Location:Burleigh……………………………………
Runners:34…………………………………………….
Run Pictures……………………………………….

Run 2099 Hare (s) Magician (Thong Muncher)

34 runners/walkers.

In the absence of our erstwhile Grand Master, Miscarriage was deputised for the occasion and immediately adopted a persona reminiscent of a certain German Fürher. A milling, uncertain, rabble rapidly became a coherent, decisive band of dedicated hashmen as soon as “On On” was called.

THE RUN

Afterwards, as we puffed and panted over a cooling libation, Iceman informed me that we had covered about 4.6Km. That seemed about right for this run around the very pleasant and fragrant Elanora Wastewater Treatment Plant. Reminded me of my days in Hong Kong and runs along various stormwater nullas that had a similar aroma. Just follow your nose, the hare had instructed. Trump had clearly been informed of the area when referring to Shitholes.

After the treatment works were left from our behinds, the runners jogged south beside the Pacific motorway only to cross it at Nineteenth Avenue and jog north on the other side. Obviously three crossing weren’t enough, so the trail then went back under the motorway twice more before we were “on home”.

All in all it was a quite well marked trail and any chance of getting lost was negated by Magician pointing out the correct direction as soon as it looked like the pack might take a wrong trail.

Except of course Bent Banana and Swollen Colon, who took off the wrong way after the first check and went out on the home trail. When they met up with the runners, they immediately turned around and took the quickest short-cut home.

THE BUCKET

Back at the bucket, Sir Prince was relating a story about a painter with a broken arm doing renovations at Barry Sheen’s house. It transpired that the accident happened when he walked off the second level scaffolding while ogling Mrs Barry, wearing hot pants, bending over in the garden.

THE NOSH

Having failed to get the generator up and running, Truckie’s hangman talents came to the fore as he set about organising a rope over a tree branch to hoist up Sir Slab’s light. Once the illumination was sorted, we could see what the hares had on offer for the grub but was that a good thing?

As it turned out, the two-minute noodles, with a choice of medium or spicy chicken casserole proved to be a hit with assembled diners. That said, I don’t think the guest hare throwing on the greenery to disguise it as a healthy repast fooled anyone.

Although I didn’t partake of the desert, it was described to me as “quite nice, for a Lemon turd in a tart”.

THE CIRCLE

Down Downs went to:

• Sir Two Dogs for suggesting that “A quick Circle is a good Circle”. Miscarriage obviously took it personally.
• The two hares, Magician and guest, Thong Puncher. STD gave the note.
• KB for being late to the gathering. He also praised the nosh declaring it “Worthy of a runner up”. To what? Jigsaw did the honours with a note.
• The night’s visitors were next, Thong Muncher from Saigon via Sheffield and Dragon and Savaan from Cambodia. One of the Cambodian lads was driving Miscarriage home the previous evening and went around a round a bout the wrong way – twice.
• Sir Black Stump for falling down, again and for setting some sort of record for the number of hospitals visited. Prince provided the note.
• Shat and Sweat Hog for their birthdays.

The RA entered the circle and, his jokes can be paraphrased as:

Tom Jones, “not unusually”, covered in ice cream and sprinkles, “topping” himself for telling “sheer” madness stories about Victoria’s Secret needing an “iron”.

Hats were handed out to Now Loved (500 runs), Truck Tyres (250 runs) and Rug (500 runs)

Notice of Show Pony’s one-year anniversary remembrance is to be published in the Hash News

The POW caused much confusion. Swindler’s stand-in, Magician with only half the kit, gave it to Botcho for reasons unknown. I wonder who Botcho will give it to next.

Black Stump finalised the evening with a very enfeebled “End of Circle”

Date: 15th January 2018…………………………
Location:Broadbeach……………………………..
Runners:29………………………………………….
Run Pictures……………………………………….

Weekly had put a lot of thought into the setting. Tables were set out in a row on the footpath under a street light. The views were across the man made lake towards the shopping centre along Bermuda Street, and further across to the hinterland hills. There was a cool gusty wind, almost chilly, and the skies were clear. The trailer was set up across the footpath, and Wrongway was busy cleaning the BBQ. A couple of guys were fishing for flathead in the lake.

Weekly called the group together and gave the runners instructions. Once the runners were gone, he instructed the walkers to walk around the lake, but if they wanted a longer walk, to go further down to Markeri Street and up Rio Vista. “No hills” everyone was thinking, the walk could not have been flatter. We ambled along Lakeview Boulevard, north, then west then south past the fitness centre and shops. We noted a break in the chain link fence and scrambled over it. Back along the new road towards home.

Weekly had a couple of plates with crackers, salami slices, cut sausages, onions, olives and a variety of cheeses. Ferrett stepped in for Jiggy to collect cash. Wrongway and KB were busy at the BBQ cooking rump steaks. A dish of garlic potato and broccoli bake was opened up and prepared for serving, and bowls of green salad. Rump steak was very tender. Dessert was fruit salad with a sprinkling of desiccated coconut and a dollop of yogurt.

After chairs and tables were put away, the GM called the circle, but Weekly, KB and Wrongway were not finished cleaning up around the trailer and BBQ. Weekly was blowing smoke through both ears.

Finally, Weekly came out. Shat gave a run report (was he on the run?). Ferrett almost fell into the canal, Brengun helped Ferrett keep attacking plovers at bay. Swollen was brought in for falling over on the run and to help Weekly. Slab gave a note.

There were food reports on the steaks, and Josephine was complimented on supplying retro cans of beer. STD gave a note.

Visitor was S-Bend who has moved up from Sydney and will become a regular. Sir Slab was called in for beating the odds and staying alive!

Returning runners were Miscarriage, Phantom and Swollen. Botcho gave a note.

Returning walker was KB, Wrongway gave a note.

Stand-in RA Miscarriage stepped in.

He called in Brewtus, but he had already disappeared, Phantom and Weekly for celebrating the YES vote at the cinema. Josephine gave a note.

RA recounted how he was celebrating Hogmanay in Scotland as advised by Caustic and was hemmed in by the crowd and felt like a stuffed pig the way he was battered around. He said the local police made an official apology to Miscarriage. As Caustic was not at the run, RA called out KB for the down down. Sir Rabbit gave a note.

RA called in golfers, Ferrett, Botcho, Hard On and Wrongway and recounted the recent incident in Hawaii when the residents were informed by SMS to seek shelter as incoming ballistic missiles were detected. Golfers had nothing to fear as they were always in a bunker. Miscarriage had the down down, note by KB.

GM stopped RA for anything further and called in Wrongway, who was ex police, to recount a recent report about a man found in the Brisbane River with net stockings, make up, and a cucumber up his arse. I didn’t recall if he was still alive!

Aussie stepped forward and read an article in the local rag about socialite KB being featured.

Josephine complained about the foreign coins in the bucket, including an old shilling. Only Aussie coins please, but no 5c coins.

Bit of confusion about next week’s run. Was it Missing Link or Magician? Go to the web site.

GM gave stand in RA an opportunity for one more story.

He recounted about his twin brother making no appearance on the trip. He reckoned is was because Sir Prince had lent his a coat. Prince got his coat back along with a down down. Miscarriage got his twin brother back. Miscarriage gave the note.

Phantom closed the circle with the help of half the troops.

Remember to use [email protected] if you have a story for RA, and register for the Rally on 17 March, maybe an Irish Theme?

On on

Mad Mike