Run 1685
Hare: Goatfarka & Cumagen
Location: Coombabah
Date: 15th February, 2010

After the run, the scene in Goat Farka’s pool resembled that of a Roman bath.Erudite senators discussing important events in their budgie smugglers. Moonbeams thought Sir Rabbit looked like Claudius draped in his towel/toga. Cum Agen served a big entrée of un-goat like spicy chicken wings and drumsticks that added to the bacchanalian atmosphere.

Meanwhile co-hare Goat Farka was out looking for a missing Flasher and the nosh was delayed .Finally Flasher emerged declaring “it was a very short run” and the pack broke into spontaneous song about his general uselessness. Due to his ambiguous answers it remains unclear whether he went off trail. Some time later the search party comprising the Grand Master, Botcho and Goat Farka returned.

The nosh was a delicious and tender goat casserole with mashed potato and cabbage. Between mouthfuls Blowfly and Veteran commented how good it was. Goat Farka’s prey came from a property near Tenterfield and there is no truth in the rumour that it was roadkill. The meal was completed with desert of ice-cream, honeycomb and m and m’s.
Minister for Loose Thoughts and assistant Grand Master, Sir Prince, called the circle and the co-hares were first on the agenda. They admitted to “colsultancy services” from Two Dogs. Missing Link thought the run was “very good, quite adequate for a virgin run “and Sir Slab  thought it was “pertinent to the night “whilst the GM expressed his approval. Aussie acted as sweeper and gave the note for the Down Down.
The nosh pulled excellent reviews so the hares had another DD.

Girls made a surprise return and Sir Prince explained he was “down to his last yacht” and couldn’t afford to come to hash.

The GM called for Prick of the Week and asked Jigsaw if he had read the manual on picking an appropriate candidate. Jigsaw replied he had had legal advice from Cum Smoke and felt better prepared. His candidates were Missing Link for potentially giving him dodgy advice about Bangkok, half the hash for being short cutting bastards and Rock Hard for casting dispersions as to somebody’s height. However it was no surprise he gave it to Flasher for keeping the pack waiting for their nosh. The GM said K Rudd was standing by Peter Garrett but he would not be standing by Flasher. He did however ignore the howls from the pack for an icing!

Sir Prince said Flasher had joined a body building gym and Cum Smoke quipped “he’s working up to looking like a 14 yr old girl “Botcho offered the general advice that if in doubt on a run don’t go the same direction as Flasher, which gave Mumbles the opportunity to blame Flasher for his Nerang State Forest debacle!
Rock Hard gave a description of the goings on of the Hammersley hash which was basically that they did a lot of talking and it would be ideal for Pizza and Latrine. He also said he enjoyed the Fremantle mixed hash.
Returning runner, Show Pony was given a DD and said he had been in “salt rehab”. He also threatened that he had frozen the leftovers of his last nosh to be served at his next run. (it might be more edible frozen!) Rock Hard also received a DD for 150 runs.

Miscarriage charged Sir Prince with being absent from home on Valentines day and later turning up in his Valiant for nostalgic purposes. The GM said “what she used to do in the Valiant she won’t do any more so he has to do it on his own”.

Blow Fly announced that Maggs was very happy with his new car from hash finances and had left for Nerandara and thus Blow Fly was now in the big bed.

Next weeks run is Josephine to expect great hamburgers and a clever run.

Muchos Gracias to the amigos Goat Farka and Cum Agen for a top evening.

on on
Now Loved
On Sec

Run 1684
Hare: BB
Location: Ashmore
Date: 8th February, 2010

BB invited the Hash to his house in Ashmore which was probably more convenient for most than his house in Vientiane, although not as exotic. However, the delicious nosh of Lao style larb, seafood Tom Yung with rice and desert of sago, sweet potato and coconut  milk (called Nam Whan)transported all to those far away Mekong river shores.

Our beloved  Grand Master, Nasty, called the circle with the assistance of “town crier” Goat Farka and immediately mused on life after being GM and received some counselling from Aussie .Inexplicably BB gave himself an icing using a poor excuse for a piece of ice. This may have been due to the new regulation(as everybody knows there are no rules in hash except rule #1 which states” NO POOFTERS”)which dictates that the  hare will spend one minute on the ice for every minute his run is over the hour.

The GM declared it an excellent run, as was generally agreed, although Cum Smoke was disappointed he had to run past his ex-wife’s house in contravention of a domestic violence order and a potential fine, community service order and trip to the Magistrate.

Still in the circle BB called out his Co-hare Tik Tok, who was happy we liked the food, but was probably lucky she missed Caustic Crusader’s quip about the Hare and the Hareless (especially for Caustic).Our honourable hosts received a Down Down following a very Italian note from Pizza. Tik Tok made a little speech in Lao and thanked Ay(Mrs. Seamen)for her assistance with the nosh.

In the tradition of the canary yellow “Italian Stallion” boxers dressing gown Sir Prince presented Pizza with a t-shirt that said ”if you like my meatballs you’ll love my sausage”. This prompted Pizza to tell a terrible joke about a shearing team and a Chinese cook for which he received a DD. Moonbeams pulled a laugh though when he claimed Pizza “still called Australia Rome”.

Jigsaw was called out for the Prick of the Week segment and immediately focused on Cum Smoke as a likely recipient for only writing half a page of words as On Sec’s little helper but mostly for being a general camera hog. However the evidence he produced, although creative, was deemed dubious by the GM and refused. Jigsaw then tried to give it to Tik Tok as she took lots of photos and showed a satirical interest in the prick but this was also disallowed Aussie actually volunteered to take it to move things along but the GM decreed Jigsaw must keep it for another week .

Assistant GM and Minister for Loose Associations,Sir Prince,called out returning runner Arse Up(Bali,W.A.)who was joined in a DD by BB for attaining 300 runs. As it was his house, his run and he probably would have done it anyway BB launched into song in honour of Maggs, who was showing his legendary self discipline and not drinking .As Maggs is soon moving to south west NSW to build yet another empire(and probably start another Hash)he passed on the Richard Cranium award (a rubber chook that has it’s mystical origins in the recent Burma trip)to Missing Link in his role as Minister for Cultural Affairs for use in upcoming sojourns. Maggs received a “hash goodbye’ and we will all miss possibly our greatest ever Booze Master .Luckily we still have the excellent skills of Blowfly to call on.

Miscarriage charged that last week Point Two’s birthday had been overlooked which gave BB an excuse to sing again(in excellent voice )in  honour  of Point Two.

Goat Farka announced that at his run next week goat would indeed be served and Cum Agen said he was bringing some music from someone he was related to.(can I hear Banjos?)

On that note the GM closed the circle.

Thanks to BB and Tik Tok for a big effort and a pleasant and amusing evening.

Thanks also to Cum Smoke for filling in last week and to Rug for his endeavours some weeks ago.

ON ON
Now Loved.
On Sec.

Run 1683
Hare: Miscarriage
Location: Emerald Lakes
Date: 1st February,2010

Run Number : 1679
Hare : Aussie
Location : Norm Rix Park,Whiting Street
LABRADOR
Date : 4 January 2010

Dissenting into the darkened bowls of Labrador a larger than anticipated pack assembled at the front on the designated area for what promised to be a top night of Aussie Hashing. With the air thick of enthusiasm and two police officers at the opposite side of the park Swollen Colin set off two fire crackers under Cum Smokes Car mentally disabling our revered Grand Master. As the number gathered Aussie could be heard muttering “At least there will be enough nosh for one sausage each”.

At the call of Trail Master Botcho the hounds gathered for Hare Aussie’s instructions. The run was set on white, pink, green and blue chalk. As the bad weather required the re-setting of the run final instructions are to be spewed to the hounds. If you are on white chalk you are most likely off trail, just follow the guy in front and hope he is on trail. And off the pack was sent. Within 25 meters the run descended into a debacle.

The run twisted turned and generally seemed the hare setting the run was off-trail. As the numbers staggered back to the On only two hounds completed the full course in a time of 1.75 hours in Old Fart and Rug.

Upon returning the Hash Cash made a very civilised effort to greet all runners and control incoming funds with a friendly smile and small interview before moving to the next hasher.

The On was set for more fashionable hash debacle as the beer ran low and the Hare was no where to be found. Two hounds could not handle the suspense any longer and elected for Chinese nosh from a local eatery. Mumbles declared the sausages a winner as a starter and was disappointed he was not afforded a second helping prior to main fare.

Main fare was a red curry with rice and enjoyed by the entire group. Thanks to Kitchen Bitch’s portion control there was enough to go round the hungry pack. Dessert quickly followed with chocolate ripple cake, the Hare exclaiming this new dessert is unsurpassed.

Circle commenced in a disorderly fashion with the Hare receiving the first down-down. Kitchen Bitched charged Swollen for GM abuse following the car/cracker incident at arrival and received a down-down. Kitchen Bitch was most proud that after 723 charges – one finally got up and was sustained. Next was Rug the current incumbent of the POW. With German efficiency the POW was passed to Pizza. Pizza was delighted as he can now confidently pencil in next weeks run as an attendance.

Cum Smoke charged the entire pack under Mother Hash rule 16a – The hare is required to set the run, provide refreshments and cigarettes for the pack upon return. Accordingly each Hasher now owes Cum Smoke a carton of smokes. For pointing this out Cum Smoke received a down-down. Aussie interjected and quickly joined for a down-down with his new shoes. Unfortunately our former GM ran foul of his own rules and received a second down-down for hat wearing in the circle.

Next was a number of visitors each recognised with a down-down. Further down-downs were distributed to Kitchen Bitch and Testicles for urinating in the circle.

A final charge for the evening was laid by Caustic Crusader against Point Two. Although the charge was denied and Caustic Crusader was shaken down by two down-downs he did establish that Point Two, following resignation from hierarchy, is no longer under protection from circle.

As circle drew to a close the pack gathered for a grand finale of fire works. Luckily most had only expired in 2003 and remain quite usable.

Run Number :   1678
Hare :               Jigsaw
Location :            BENOWA
Date :               28 December 2009

The post Christmas run commenced with a number of festive bellies loitering around the home of virgin hare Jigsaw. With the hounds gathered by Trail Master Botcho, the group was given final instructions and sent dashing through the streets of Benowa with a much anticipated drink stop included in the run.

The run was a good solid street run with a centre park portion towards the end. Run reports declared the run well marked and a great stretch, however with only 6 hounds making the drink stop a thirsty pack arrived back to demolish the first round of refreshments.

A cooling swim was enjoyed by most. Ferret decided to rock the cart by continually bombing hounds from the edge of the pool.

First home was Blackie’s son, followed closely by Blackie. However rather than retiring both hounds turned around and did the course again on bikes – the backyard pool was ready for the swim leg upon their return.

Nosh commenced with various Christmas nuts and nibbles, followed by Dutch Veal Meat Balls (Bitter Balls) and a satay dipping sauce. Main fare was a pesto pasta with bacon and chicken and fresh bread followed by a dessert of apple slice, ice-cream and custard. A great filling nosh with many going back for seconds.

To conclude proceedings circle was called by the GM. A record has now been set for circle time of 1 hour and 12 mins. Mumbles told great war stories of deepest darkest Africa and his own bitter balls. Charges abound and down downs hit hard. Pizza made a declaration of feeling comfortable at the front of circle and will again run a campaign for GM at the next AGPU.

Circle continued with our own Environmental Report tabled by Caustic Crusader (a Chemical Engineer – you workout the connection) was tabled with reports of in excess of 100 Rudd delegated attending the conference in Copenhagen. At the Australian speech only 25 attendees listened. Maybe they had not used international markings and most lost trail – or followed Flasher.

The POW award was passed by the Rat Pack to Roger Me On The Rug for no reason other than never been seen in the circle in recent memory.