Plan C, the Piss Up at Sir Rabbit’s bar is cancelled.
In keeping with Emergency Services directives to stay indoors and off the roads i.e. not to go out unless absolutely necessary, all hashing activities for today are unfortunately cancelled.
Sorry about that but I am sure Mrs. Rabbit will be happy.
My diet for the remainder of the week will now include lamingtons and pavlovas!
No need to blame our RA as it turns out the power of prayer worked after all. It was just that there
were many many more praying for rain lately than our lone RA opposing rain.
Run 1837
Date : 14th January 2013
Hare : Sirs Slab and Prince
Venue : AFL club, Robina
Runners 30
Weeks to Cum Smoke coming out of the closet – soon, just got back from holidays with his ‘boyfriend’
Always a popular combination, like Butch and Sundance (though more Waldorf and Statler [the old giffs from the muppets, dumkopf]), the Sirs drew a healthy sized group on a balmy and rather overcast evening on the southern Gold Coast.
Elvis and Nasty are clearly in competition for ‘most consecutive appearances by a guest runner’ 2-all so far.
Once again the New Year drawing out some old favourites, Now Loved, Sir AH amongst others.
We commenced with a piss weak excuse regarding bad weather and lack of time, so it’s a short run etc etc from Sir Slab who set us off in the direction of Robina Parkway underpass. I noticed the running contingent was higher this week and fewer stayed to help with the shipping container of food, are the New Years resolutions helping to motivate some?
We ran under the bridge and onto the nearby estate where the markings were fine despite light rain, there was good use of checks – some throwing everyone with unexpected direction changes down grassy ginnels and alleyways. No check backs were evident nor false trails marked but the pack of about nine runners held together in the main, finally emerging out of the estate alongside Robina shopping centre.
At this point our Hare had cleverly orchestrated our merging with the large band of athletes in rehabilitation (the walkers) and so we headed on home, finishing around the forty-minute mark. Not the longest of runs but most agreed, with the heat and humidity, long enough. Special mention to the effort put in by Caustic and Head Job, that degree of speed and effort is normally preserved for last orders at Darcy arms.
The Robina runs are not Robina runs without the obligatory attendance of Dim Sims and, although fewer in number, they were present and awaiting a date with the spring rolls in a hot wok.
The entrees were devoured voraciously, causing the removal of several layers of skin from the fingers and throats of those who couldn’t wait for them to cool and as the mains were taking a little longer to prepare, the pack set about the beer.
Once again the eskies began to empty at an alarming rate, not helped by Head Job who walked off with four bottles of the finest. Fearing a lynching, the GM sent the Booze masters around to his mate Dan Murphy’s to avert the crisis.
Thankfully it wasn’t long before the eskies were overflowing with WARM beer so most opted for a change to wine.
During the lull Sir Slab kindly donated a number of Hash garments for those with few and these were picked over by Sir AH, 2 dogs and others clearly down to their last three wardrobes of Hash shit.
A mild case of dementia overtook Circumference who, assuming he was at a Greek wedding, began smashing dishes; he was taken to a dark corner to settle.
Stir-fried chicken (great job by Nasty) accompanied by capsicum, onion and mango laid atop a bed of (boiled or blanched?) rice and some greens, which I never got a whiff of, head-lined the gig. Very tasty (three helpings) indeed.
Heeding the disappointment exhibited on the last two Robina jaunts, Sir Prince succumbed to peer pressure and pumped out the infamous banana fritters with ice cream to top off the evenings epicurean delights. Nice job.
Circle brought to bear by the GM who ushered Sir Prince (still cleaning) and Sir Slab for the pack’s appraisal.
Head Job enjoyed the run (and the sound of his own voice it would appear as he wouldn’t shut up) “long enough with the humidity, good markings” 7.8/10
Now Loved began quantifying the walk with “it was alright” then changed to “ very good” after a stern look from Sir Slab.
Truck Tyres liked the Dim Sims (it’s a good job as Sir Prince is contractually tied to his supplier until 2017)) “really good banana fritters” 9.2 awarded by the GM to keep the scoring unbiased.
Returners – Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum or Rug and Aussie as they are better known, both sporting healthy sized beer babies came out for a DD. Rug informed us of his international travels and Aussie confirmed a very similar itinerary with three days in Brunswick Heads.
Visitor – Pear-shaped testicles guest from Gunnedah
The GM was presented with a gift by Rug, a burka intended for those who insult
the prophet, promptly issued to Caustic for a feeble Islamic joke. Wow, it really
suited him. DD for Caustic and a few ventured looking like that he should be
placed on an indian bus.
RA took the circle and asked how Flasher’s jury duty went, apparently they told
him not to bother turning up, so he didn’t (that gives me an idea). Ferret given a
DD for an American comedian who put Ferrets name in the Bulletin?? Show Pony
a DD for another Bulletin story (does Circumference have a sponsor we don’t
know about?) Hard On, undecipherable at the best of times, recalled a cycling
story which made no sense until 25 questions later, net result a band-aid on the
elbow. Joke by Hard On, come back Iceman all is forgiven.
POW Botcho rightfully handed it over to Rug and Croc jointly for the beer
debarcle.
Upcoming events – Golf Day at Botcho’s 25ths Jan, for f%cks sake let him know if you are going for food, golf or both.
Australia day 28th Jan – the christening of the Rabbit bar and grill
Next weeks run I missed, so look on the web page
DD for Pile Driver who Karma decided should take a fall for reconnoitering the
trail prior to the run.
End of Circle by Josephine.
Well done to the Sirs and helpers another enjoyable evening at Robina.
On On
Rectum
Hang On a Sec
Don’t believe a word of it.
January Splinter Lunch combined with the Splinter Hash Summer Cup Golf
Run 1835 Date: 31st December, 2012 Hare: Circumference Location: Boat Ramp on T E Peters Drive Broadbeach
What a lovely place to meet in the afternoon as the sun sets, made more interesting with several ladies present for this once-off event.
Circumference set a short and long run and we were off at 1705. The trail transgressed regular terrain, but on this day excitement was everywhere as restaurateurs prepared their alfresco surroundings for a big night, music eminating from several live bands along the trail and thousands of adults and children setting up their special eskys, bbqs and mats all over the main Broadbeach park for the fireworks that were to follow at 8 PM.
Several very effective checks held the group together but an easy run with Semen and Blackie sharing in most of the checking. Semen is very fit for an old salt but Happy Ending may have assisted in that regard. The home trail went through the Casino gardens and it was all over in about 35 mins.
Back at the On In Kitchen Bitch was up to his old tricks butchering a leg of ham with a pen knife or similar object until Caustic came to the rescue with something larger and sharper. It was a scrumptious presentation with dinner supplemented with fruits of various kinds; watermelon, rockmelon, cherries, grapes, strawberries and blueberries.
There was no circle but several comments on the run were sought. (Romeo) An excellent tour of Broadbeach like never before with dinner as good as any Christmas feast. (Shauna) Simulating walk with action everywhere and what a great feast. (Mrs. Veteran) The champagne was to die for. (Tracy) Unbelievable meal which made Caustic’s special Christmas lunch for 24 look like a dinner for the homeless.
As most had other activities to attend, the evening finished by 19:30.
Thanks Circumference for your effort which was very much appreciated by all who attended.
On On and Happy New Year to all.
Bent Banana
A great turn out for the inaugural Xmas Eve Run from the Helensvale Tavern.
With no R.A. present the weather was absolutely fabulous, a perfect night.
Once assembled and the social intercourse concluded, the guest hare Mohammed El Flas-Her welcomed everyone to the Gold Coast Knitting Circle H3 “replacement” run and especially to our visiting hasher “Pear Shaped” all the way from Canada.
The Paris HHH also joined us for a drink and a run. Great bunch of Hashers, all enjoyed a few drinks and a few laughs.
The run directions were precise and the excitement grew as we were all promised a great and challenging run.
Then at 1705 the large pack was off. Down passed the shopping centre still full of Xmas shoppers many of whom stopped and waved us on and shouted “Merry Xmas” to us, we all waved back and they loved it.
Then we came across the first Check, was it left up the hill or across the road and into one of the many beautiful Helensvale Parks??
A shout of “On On” was heard to come from a Hasher in the park so into the park it was. Several more Check-Backs kept most of the runners together, only a few falling behind.
The run criss-crossed around many of the side streets and eventually all the pack were together again.
Another check……this time it was up the hill or down the hill……most of the seasoned Hashers guest right…up the hill it was towards the water tanks.
Along the rough path, passed the big water tank and then onto Tamworth Drive where we were greeted by a big friendly man who, fortunately, had an even friendlier German Shepherd dog…..the man, like the shoppers, wished us a Merry Xmas and gave us a wave and his dog wagged it’s tail….
A bit of a slog down Tamworth for about a kilometre and then another Check. Again most Hashers picked it right….down into the scrub and into Dromana Court….again the locals shouting encouragement and wishing us Merry Xmas.
From here we ended up on Discovery Drive and it was a nice and easy run back to the Pub, with just one detour passed the tennis courts and then it was time for a couple of cold beers!!
After wiping off the sweat and applying some deodorant, beers flowed freely gratis of the hare. We had a surprise visit from one of the best known Gold Coast Soccer players which was very well received.
Then our acting GM opened the circle by asking for a run report….”well marked, many arrows, interesting terrain and probably the run of the year!” came the response from the pack.
Many great jokes, funny real life experiences and general good humour followed. There were no charges …and no rabble behaviour tonight!!
We did however ice “Pull my Tit” from the Paris Hash. The Stand In GM presented him with a bottle of bubbles for being a good sport. A goodwill down down was also given to “I don’t believe this” for being a front running bastard.
The GM announced the next run would be 24 December 2018 and closed the circle.
The Helensvale Tavern Bar was full of friendly drinkers, all of whom made us feel very welcome and the eye candy fantastic, the feed of Lamb Shanks was delicious, almost as good as Freddies! The touring party couldn’t get over the high standard of food we all enjoyed.
Wine flowed freely, kindly donated by the acting GM and then it was time for home. A great night, well attended and what a Hash run on Xmas Eve should be!
Run 1832
Date : 10 December 2012
Hare : Head Job
Venue : The Spit
Runners 32
Weeks to the end of free birthday beers – 3.
A rather unexpected large group of 32 members gathered under the threat of showers at the far end of the Spit, with most anticipating a stuff up of a trail that could only go one way.
The psychology was to have the group believe that there was something of a surprise involved, having to pay during the run and receive an indelible mark to enable members to enter the “next place”. Was it going to be a restaurant somewhere, a fish & chip maybe; maybe a boat cruise? It was of course a hoax to ensure that all went at least as far as the drink stop, some 5 -6 klms round trip. And it worked.
THE RUN: Head job introduced 6 logs to the group with the instructions that the 30 odd runners and walkers were to be divided into 6 groups, with each group managing one log which had to be delivered to the Drink Stop, where the $15 would be collected. A character “team building” exercise was the theory. Luckily the logs were riddled with borer holes and not too heavy.
The trail headed off to the beach and went under the sand-pumping jetty then back up to the gravel trail that snakes its way through the scrub between the ocean and asphalt road (Seaworld Dr.). The 4 -5 carriers of each log quickly broke down to 2 and in most cases one after Two Dogs decided to forego his weekly kung fu training and set a cracking pace. Some competition gathered between several groups. Pile Driver, Jigsaw, Caustic, Rockhard and others were actually jogging much of the way.
Blackie made the wise move and promptly dumped his log in the nearby dumpster, thinking that his team mates might collect it. They did not. After about 25 minutes of punishment the first group arrived at the Pizza sponsored drink spot, where Flasher was smugly waiting with his usual claim of being first there. Ok Flasher, but where’s your fk’n log?
The smartest team arrived having completed the whole trail carrying their log with 2 slings below, sharing the weight among 4. A shat of an idea! After 2 -3 beers the GM cancelled the remainder of the run (the long run) and all headed back, Caustic and BB along the gravel trail and the remainder straight down the asphalt road making the time away just oven one hour.
THE NOSH: With wise use of the trailer the food was ready in record time. The banquet was presented around a long collection of tables and hash chairs, set in the middle of the large car park. Just like the Sound of Silence dinners at Uluru.
Well it could have been silent if Pizza stayed at home! First there were nibblies followed by perfectly cooked white rice with a chilly seasoned concoction of beef mince and onions which some liked; some didn’t. The dessert was small fruit mince-meat tarts with cream and a raspberry on top – very tasty as long as you didn’t eat the alum. foil they came in.
THE CIRCLE: Caustic was handed the first down down for talking and showing no respect for the GM, then the hare Head Job and the beer sponser Pizza were called out. Shat spoke convincingly in favour of the Run and suggested it become an annual event; score 10/10, but with a sly deceitful grin.
The nosh was considered very tasty and was liked by batchelor Truck Tyres and he scored it 7.5/10. A good effort for a first-time hare with little assistance. It was suggested to Pizza that maybe his next sponsored brew be the crowd favourite – his black beer.
Returners Platypus ex Darwin and Mother Brown, not too sure where he’s from or why he is here were given DDs.
RA caught Pile Driver and VD having a chat and leaning on a truck and were accordingly punished. He also extracted a couple of jokes from the circle.
He called the POW several times and eventually Mohomad El Flash-Her appeared in full jihad regalia. Mohamod was very loud and threatening and looked the part with his head cover, long black beard, white outfit and bombs around his waist.
However we realised that it was only Flasher when Mohamod set out his prayer mat in the wrong direction. As most know poor Mohamad damaged his thumb last week when Ferrett tried to pull his pants down and a schuffle commenced, however in his belignerent state for some reason Moh. thought it was our beloved RA and handed the prick, with suitable CDs on Islam and the holy Koran to secure his spiritual salvation, to Circumference.
The RA succumbed gracefully under Mohamod’s loud screams of guilty, guilty, guilty, it was you infidel, you infidel. I will blow us all up!
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
Christmas Party next Monday. Arrive 1700 behind Broadbeach Convention Centre for 1730 start. Any visitors $100; otherwise $25 for regular runners.
No RUN Xmas eve.
An early start 1700 on New Years Eve somewhere in Broadbeach. Ladies welcome, with free glass of champagne.
Just as at the beginning of the Circle, serial interjector Caustic was given a closing DD for trying to set up his 80 year old mother, who is about to visit the Coast, with any willing Hasher of whom he claimed there were many of similar age!
The Moonbeams imposter Josephine closed the Circle at 2055.
Thanks Head Job for a memorable evening and Pizza for the free piss.
All the above is the gospel truth, as remembered by Turpin Sorenob aka Bent Banana
