Run 1869
Date:26/08/2013
Location: Burleigh Waters
Hare: Ferret
Runners: 28
Ferret’s famous birthday run and nosh!

73 years young and going strong.

The GM made a rare appearance between overseas holidays at this weeks Hash and it seemed he was reasserting power and keeping the RA in check. The power will shift back again to the RA in a couple of weeks when the GM is representing GC Hash at a surfing meet in Bali and then more work for the GM cycling in Myanmar for 2 weeks promoting our Hash Club. What a gravy train.

The GM asked Flasher what he thought of the run. Flasher now fully clothed after his usual semi naked run said it was a long run and at least half a K between some arrows. Apparently Flasher had taken a wrong turn and only discovered his mistake when he ran into the surf at Burleigh and couldn’t find an arrow. Link giving a second opinion scored it as an 8 while the GM wanting to assert his authority scored the run as an 8.375.

Rug rated the Nosh as “Fantastic” and took the opportunity to inform us there were 3 kinds of Turds for dessert Custard, Mustard, and Flasher. VD gave the nosh a 9 and was particularly impressed by not only the silverside and vegetables but the fancy Bain Marie got a special mention. Croc having the last word on the nosh said it was great for “Ferret Food” and said he would score it 8.0379 but would go to 8.95 if Ferret cleaned the grill plate.

Swindler and Truck Tyres took DD’s as the assistant Booze Masters in the temporary absence of Show Pony who is off to China for a few weeks.

The GM advised that the infamous October Fest run will be on the 7th October for a 5pm start somewhere.

The hard working Hierarchy have organised a social boat trip on Houseboats to South Stradbroke Island on 13 October for $50 per person. Show Pony will be the Admiral in charge of the fleet of 2 houseboats.

The RA in fine form called out Sir Black Stump for his poorly lit fence last week. When the RA was leaving Sir Blackstumps humble abode last night he was struck down by an alien force which threw him over the fence of the dog yard where he landed on his back .Fortunately Sir Prince heard the thump and was able to revive him and gently guide him to his car ( with a strange limp and very sore arm ). SO MUCH FOR THE PROTECTION OF HIS POPES
OUTFIT

The RA told some incredible tale about girls in Asia who are also boys in Asia but what happens on tour stays on tour so this story is on hold for another time!

Rug having a senior moment went to Ferrets place for the run then discovering it was in Christine Ave proceeded to get lost in Christine Avenue and forgot he had the map and directions on the new Mobile App.

To finish the session Sir Prince brought a charge against the RA for failing to repay the $100 he borrowed a couple of weeks ago.

Next weeks run by Sir AH from somewhere on the Gold Coast.

See you all next week.

SPLINTER FISHING

A small band of splinter bike riders Caustic Crusader, VD, Swindler, the GM and the On Sec had a splinter fishing trip. A few fish which worked out about $75 per kilo – lucky we didn’t catch more!

Rumour has it KB is working on another trip.
…………………………………………………………….

18 Reasons why Fishing is better than Sex

18 – You don’t have to hide your Fishing magazines..
17 – It is perfectly acceptable to pay a professional to Fish with you once in a while.

16 – The Ten Commandments don’t say anything about Fishing.

15 – If your partner takes pictures or videotapes of you Fishing,you don’t have to worry about them showing up on the Internet if you become famous.

14 – Your Fishing partner doesn’t get upset about people you fished with long ago

13 – It’s perfectly respectable to Fish with a total stranger.

12 – When you see a really good Fisherperson, you don’t have feel guilty about imagining the two of you Fishing together.

11 – If your regular Fishing partner isn’t available, he/she won’t object if you Fish with someone else.

10 – Nobody will ever tell you that you will go blind if you Fish by yourself.

9 – When dealing with a Fishing pro, you never have to wonder if they are really an undercover cop.

8 – You don’t have to go to a sleazy shop in a seedy neighborhood to buy Fishing stuff.

7 – You can have a Fishing calendar on your wall at the office, tell Fishing jokes, and invite coworkers to Fish with you without getting sued for harassment.

6 – There are no Fishing-transmitted diseases.

5 – If you want to watch Fishing on television, you don’t have to subscribe to the Playboy channel.

4 – Nobody expects you to Fish with the same partner for the rest of your life.

3 – Nobody expects you to give up Fishing if your partner loses interest in it.

2 – You don’t have to be a newlywed to plan a vacation primarily to enjoy your favorite activity.
1 – Your Fishing partner will never say, “Not again? We just Fished last week! Is Fishing all you ever think about?”

Run 1868
Date:19/08/2013
Location: Gilston
Hare: Black Stump

Runners:33
Ferret

• What an auspicious night at Hash.
• Sir Slabs birthday celebrated with some fancy new beer kegs
• The real GM has returned temporarily between overseas trips
• Black Stump hit the 1000 run mark and was inducted into that strange group of misfits known as the “Sirs” . Apparently he has also had an audition as a backup singer in the Rock group “Black Eye Peas”

The GM appeared wearing a long floral dress and a Tiara looking like a  transvestite version of a southern baptist gospel called up the circle.

Rug reporting on the run…..  Was pretty good but took me 10 minutes to get out of the driveway.

Flasher said he had stuck with Rectum on the run so proudly anounced he had not short cutted and had a reliable witness to prove it. This has now been named as the “miracle of Gilston” no shortcuting by Flasher.

Sir AH commented that the walk had a been an emotional almost mystical experience for him as stopped for a moments silence at the round a about where Rectum had an attack from aliens who pushed the hash trailer on its side.

The NOSH – Hard On gave the dinner a good wrap and in an extremely generous mood mentioned 9 out of 10. Big Unit said he was just happy to have a home cooked meal.

RETURNERS Testicles, Aussie, and Mother Brown were welcomed back with a DD.

POW. 2 Dogs awarded the prestigious trophy to Flasher for a series of Politically Incorrect emails. You have been put on notice Flasher, keep the emails to Hash Shit.

RA Dressed for the special night of a special Knight Sir Black Stump, the RA came attired as the Grand Wizard of the Klu Klux Klan.

The RA reminded us of THE rules.

#1 Rule of Hash – what happens own tour stays on tour

#2 Rule of Hash – what’s discussed between Hash Bretheren stays in the Hash.

But there is a weak link, a Trojan Horse – Sir Prince Valiant impugning the reputation of the RA by talking outside of the circle with a certain young french female known intimately by both the Prince and the RA. Enough said refer to rules #1 and # 2.

And of course  1 Sir drinks all Sirs drink- welcome to the group Sir Blackie.

DD to the BU for literally having  the biggest torch ever seen at the Hash. It resembled those huge spot lights used by the Germans to spot bombers at 20,000 ft over the Rhine.

A TV reference to cyclists as the cockroaches of the road and MAMILs  – Middle Age Men In Lycra resulted in Caustic Crusader taking a DD for the team.

INDUCTION of Blackie in a fitting ceremony Sword and all that would make Her  Maje proud.

NEXT WEEKS RUN Ferret at Christine Av Burleigh Waters. Park behind the library.

The night was dragging on so Moonbeams shut things down End of Circle!

That’s it see you next week

On On

Blue Card

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Run 1867
Date: 12/08/2013
Location: Surfers Paradise
Hare: Hard On

Runners:33

Black Stump

News Flash: Darwin Don takes Gold at World Master Games

The word was out Hard On as the virgin Hare. A big turn out with 33 hashers.

All gathered at Budds Beach on the banks of the river within walking distance of  la residence of the Hare Hard On and assistant Hares Shat living at Shat O and Kwakka from over the river.

Our esteemed Acting GM aka the RA aka Miscarriage called the circle up. Being a very fair and balanced acting GM volunteered to take a DD from his brand new GLOWING PURPLE sneakers size 22 that would have looked right at home on the Big Unit.

Speaking of Big Unit good to see the BU again particularly as he had a choice of watching porn at Cum Smokes love shack or coming to Hash. Just shows what a real desperate BU must be.

Botcho was called out and given a special thank you for setting up the mobile web site (click the link and save as a book mark on mobile smart phone. Never get lost again, trying to find the run location) and all the other web master magic. The Acting GM gave an undertaking that Botcho will not be given another DD this year. Well Botcho this sounds like ” there will be no carbon tax” so we will see if Now Loved the “real GM ” will honour the commitment.

Sir Slab received a DD for having a dead heat on his bike with a car in front that wouldn’t get out of his way. But that’s not all. Reportedly allegedly was out on a Hashers boat and suggested that 2 young females on board take there tops off up on the bow of the boat. Not illegal but one was a hashers daughter. Sir S totally denies the accusation and is claiming mistaken identity.

All  Sirs got to share a DD Sir Rabbit Sir AH Sir Slab and Sir Prince.

The Hare Hard On was called out and as a virgin Hare he remains intact as he out sourced the trail to Shat. To preserve his virgin Hare status he outsourced the Nosh to Mrs Hard On. To continue the theme he had 14 hashers cooking on the BBQ while he chatted over a large glass of red or two.

Two Dogs in an unkind moment described the run as debacle as he ended up running by himself. Veteran described it as an excellent run. Multiple circles and plenty of arrows. He considered Hard On an excellent manager who had recruited people smarter and more experienced than him to do the work and he could take all the glory. Management 101.

No score given so as scribe after a lot of thinking I have awarded 7.162.

Flasher, Flasher Flasher reported as a serial short cutter.

POW

Truck Tyres donned the uniform and after a bit of waffling passed the award to Two Dogs for leading the pack including him way off trail by taking them overseas to Chevron Island.

RETURNERS

Swindler, Arse Up, Bent Banana, Show Pony and Pile Driver – DD’s

Miscarriage was offended to be called a Hobbit and called out a few other vertically challenged Hashers and then lined them up beside BU.

Ferret had a bitch about members not reading the Hare Line so for those who don’t read the Hare Line. Read it here

See you next week for another Hash Dash.

Blue Card Joke Of The Week

Date Change For Clean Up Australia Day.Please adjust your diaries accordingly

 

Run 1866
Date: 5/08/2013
Location: Ashmore
Hare: Sir Rabbit / Josephine
Hard On

Bent Banana update:
A good turnout with 26 hashes turning up.

About half walkers and half runners but from the observation of the walkers most of the so called runners seemed to be walking.

The RA Miscarriage once again took on the exalted roles of both acting GM and RA..Clearly bored after so many Circles following the same format every week that he once again decided to reverse the normal the normal order of business.

Showing no respect for editorial independence, first up he called out yours truly for referring to him in last weeks Words as being the self appointed GM and presented me with a DD. Seems to think he is Gina Rhineart and can influence the independence of the press.

VD had the pleasure of passing on the POW. He called out the Big Unit (BU) and explained how a woman living below knocked on BU’s door to complain about the noise. Being not guilty he redirected the woman to Come Smokes unit. The woman was most shocked to discover the “noise” coming from Come Smokes unit was a loud audio track on a porn movie.

However in the absence of Come Smoke the award went to Truck Tyres who turned up for a bike ride with 2 flat tyres and has been nominated for a renaming to Flat Tyres.

Botcho aka Botulism got a DD for destroying the economy in the home country last week and causing more of his county men to migrate to OZ.

The RA/GM reminded us that the funeral for Useless was held during the week. He reminisced about how Useless had a broken relationship in Singapore, came down to the Gold Coast for a new life, and became engaged to a lovely lady. It appears she then met another Hasher and married him!  Come on down Sir AH!

Hares Josephine (the run) and Rabbit (the nosh)…..

BU described it as 1 of the best hash runs he has ever been on. Has done 3.

VD said it was OK but most runners seemed to be walking and only pretend runners.

Iceman said the Nosh was OK and he particularly liked the burnt rice taste near the bottom of the pot.

Miscarriage said he enjoyed the raisin toast which was a poor mans Naan and went particularly well with the chicken curry.

Graham a friend of Elvis got a DD for being a visitor. Welcome Graham hope you will come again.

Sir Prince and Sir Rabbit got a DD for reminding the RA about the time he “beached” the Fairlane on a parking island in the very same car park as we were standing. One Sir drinks all Sirs drink……  Come on down Sir AH.

Botcho said he had spoken to Pizza who reportedly misses us all and has been very busy writing the instruction manual on “Laying Bricks”.

Next weeks run will be next Monday night somewhere.

That’s the week that was.

Blue Cards Joke Of The Week

A Guy Walks Into A Bar

Just click here…http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ub3Cm0V_Z8w

 

RUN 1865
Date :29/7/2013
Location: Helensvale
HARE: Botcho
Runners: 29

Once again we were honoured with an appearance by Cum Smoke. Good to see he brought his mate Big Unit!                                                                                                                                  The Big Unit chatting with Flasher….  I heard the BU complaining about a pain in the neck. No not Flasher just cause and effect from chatting with Flasher.Sorry Flasher but I am under strict instructions from Rectum to give you a special mention every week.

8 walkers and 18 runners hit the trail this week.In the absence of the GM the RA took on the self appointed joint role of GM/RA and called the circle in the Helensvale Tavern car park before dinner.

Flasher said it was a good run until he got lost. Iceman gave him instructions to follow him…. Big mistake. Botcho told a shaggy dog story about being chased by a dog while setting the run. There seemed to no real score but Ferret mumbled to the On Sec give him 4.77.

A DD to Josephine, Caustic and KB for email spam about a certain round ball match in Melbourne.

A minutes silence for Useless a past Hasher in the club who passed away recently. Ferret reported that Useless introduced him to Hash in Singapore where a week later Ferret met his future wife and Useless was best man at his wedding.

RETURNERS

The athletes returning from a Peptide fuelled bike ride in the Phillipines were front and centre.

Ferret as the oldest took 1 for the team and got the DD.

Shat when asked to report on the trip said everybody behaved and they inspected a lot of Catholic Churches. Yeah right!

Sir Prince was awarded the “Plastic Plucked Chicken” to take to Myanmar as the stand in “Yellow Jersey”

Ferret called out Flasher for being a media tart for having his photo on the cover of the Hash Magazine.

Everybody then adjourned to the Tavern, selected a special person for a 2 for 1 meal to the delight of Moonbeams but the despair of Hash Cash.

That’s it for this week see you all next week.

PS Keep the emails about “Hash Shit” or bear the consequences in the circle!!

Blue Cards Lesson For The Week

Short Lesson On Towel Heads…
In these troubled times, it has become very difficult to distinguish the good towel-heads from the bad towel heads. Just where are the moderate Muslims, anyway? Do they actually exist?

The following is provided, to help you distinguish between a BAD “towel-head” and a GOOD “towel-head.” You must study the pictures carefully so that you will not confuse the two in a moment of indecision … It could save your life!
This is a bad towel head

and this is a

 

GOOD TOWEL-HEAD: