Run 1903
Date:21/04/2014
Location: Hope Island
Hare: Circumference
Runners:28

Run Report from The Hash – “Stig”

A total of around 30 gathered at the waterside on Jabaru Island to be told by the Hare Circumference that the first check starts here, with 3 choices: the rocky trail out across the water, the sandy trail around the Island or the one back through the car park. Following a re introduction by SPV of Weekly’s return to hashing, the hounds took off.

Bent Banana selected the rocks, assuming that this would be something interesting and different, with the run eventually completing a big loop and coming back home over the bridge.  Alas it was actually along the sandy cove, when Two Dogs called On On, then it was up over the bridge and headed west, after the hounds previously refused to take the smell of chalk heading out over an inviting  boardwalk through mangroves.  It was then down the bridge and back under to the water for the next check.  The trail then headed South with Flasher in front followed by Rectum and Rug.

There was some regrouping as the pack continued south to the entrance of Crescent  Ave. The pack followed the street on both sides of the road, noticing small arrows on the opposite side, which the hounds refused to accept as anything belonging to our Hare. There were a few expletives coming from Rectum’s mouth when, after about one km., the trail did in fact return back along the same street. This however did not deter Flasher who continued over the two arrows  pointing back and headed into the scrub alone, obviously looking for another root, following up on his luck  last week. Or maybe just hoping for a shortcut?

The trail lead west with a couple more checks, then crossed Broadwater Ave and circled the Marina Quays Tavern. This bought back fond memories of more interesting runs of the past, with food subsidized by Two Dogs. There was a check behind the tavern and choices were further west, north across the vacant blocks or east to home. Having failed on the first check Bent Banana got this (last) one right and it did head east, with a long and un eventual jog back up  Broadwater Ave. There was a bit of a challenge between returning runner Jim, Rectum, Miscarriage and Two Dogs to get to the bridge and home first.  Not a great run, but the location deserved a few extra brownie points.

STIG REPORT ENDS!

The GM was absent but not an unusual situation. He reportedly was seen in Byron Bay at the Bluing and Rooting Festival.

 

 

 

 

Sir Black Stump stood in as acting GM and kept one careful eye on proceedings.

When asked for a comment on the walk, Hard On said it was tortuous and enduring. Whatever the hell that means!

Prince Valliant said it was a very useful and educational run as he was given a full financial plan by Rock Hard on the run with an explanation of just how the share market works. Bent Banana threw in some advice and said forget the stock market unless you want to lose your shirt. For no real reason the run was given a 7 out of 10.

Circumference was the Nosh Master and had produced some tasty but sometimes slightly overcooked chicken on a stick and some ‘crunchy’ noodles for want of a better term. Flasher was asked for his opinion and he said he enjoyed the “road kill on a stick” as a very novel way to present chicken and the chewy noodles were a real surprise he gave it a 7.9 out of 10. The ever retiring wallflower Ballpoint and said if last week’s run was pretty good according to the GM and that was the benchmark then this week’s nosh was magnificent.

This week’s returning runners included Weekly who has been missing for about 20 years after a stint in Rotary but has decided to come back to the more entertaining social life of Hash. Weekly fitted in like he had never left. A new face, Jimmy, said he had been missing as he wife had him tied up doing other things.

This bought a roar of approval from the crowd with visions of S & M and all sorts of strange goings on. Magician who has had a few runs with us has been down visiting us from his palace in Saigon aka Ho Chi Minh city where he has the role of a ‘Handbag’ with his partner who works 100 hours a week to keep him in the manner to which he has become accustomed.

The RA, as an opening duty, called out Ballpoint and made him sit on the ice as a penalty for being a serial whinger and insulting the 5 Sirs in the club who had prepared the magnificent meals of gourmet sausages last week.

Although the Sirs did not get off unscathed as Sir Rabbit was called out for having a problem with his sausage according to Ballpoint, and of course 1 Sir drinks – all Sirs drink.

Rock Hard got a mention for tipping Oz Minerals as a share which has now tanked. Although he commented it was better than VDM which at one stage went to $3.10 and with Sir Prince holding 1.6 million shares all was looking rosy for the Hash who were in for 10% on sale. Sir Prince, who when it comes to shares and real estate shares a Catholic church philosophy,  always wanting to buy but never wanting to sell, is now left holding 1.6 million shares with a similar value to ABC childcare centre shares.

The two flying experts in the club – Rug who knows where the MH370 is but if he told you would have to kill you and Flasher who only thinks he knows where it is and is more than happy to tell everybody got a drink for not informing Air Commodore Angus Houston, now in charge of the hunt for the missing plane.

Ballpoint joined the centre of the circle to give away the POW but said in light of all the stick he had received he thought it only fair that he carry it forward for another week. He was a bit surprised when he still had to take the yard glass because he had volunteered to keep it for another week, I don’t imagine he is going to make that offer again.

Next week’s run is from the old favourite, Cascade Gardens however the nosh promises to exceed the poor history of Cascade Garden’s noshes as Fanny Charmer in association with his mother in law is providing a Spanish meal which includes Spanish fly for dessert.

END OF CIRCLE.

On On

Blue card

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

A woman was in a coma. She had been in it for months

Nurses were in her room giving her a bed bath.

One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a slight response on the monitor whenever she touched her there.

They tried it again and sure enough, there was definite movement.

They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, ‘As crazy as this sounds, maybe a little ‘0ral sex’ will do the trick & bring her out of the coma.’

The husband was skeptical, but they assured him that they would close the curtains for privacy. The husband finally agreed and went into his wife’s room.

After a few minutes the woman’s monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart rate. The nurses run back into the room. ‘What happened!?’ they cried.

The husband said, ‘I’m not sure; maybe she choked.’

 

Run 1902
Date:14/04/2014
Location: Chirn Park
Hare: The Sirs
Runners:38

What a great turn up at the Rabbit Warren. 38 who obviously were expecting something special as it was promoted as the GC HHH 2014 SIRS RUN.

For a rather well known running location, with opportunities for all to short cut, the volunteer Hare Sir Slab came up with a simple yet novel idea of a handicap challenge; one of 4.5 klms for the walkers and 6.6 klms for the runners.

There were to be no checks and the markings were the normal arrows; some white, some red.  Instructions: head south and take the first street right.

The hounds gradually set off  in groups and wormed there way through various streets and off road areas, until many joined up at the far end of Musgrave Park.  It was some wasted time here picking up the trail on the park boundary but it led across the road and into Keith Hunt athletic park.

At this point Veteran and Bent Banana were the FRBs who were shortly joined by Lottery Director Botcho.  It was then through some more off-street areas heading north until  we came out near Point Two’s old joint, then turned east. At this juncture it was Botcho, Vereran and BB, joined by Missing Link. All with their minds focused on the winner’s prize.

After another klm there was another point of confusion at a road crossing when the FRBs missed the start of the red arrows (hard to see in the dark) and lost good ground here; maybe 2 minutes. Several minutes later Sir Slab turned up with news that the front group were at least half klm in front of the pack and making good time. Closer to home it was Botcho and Veteran with BB and Missing Link falling back slightly.

Shortly Rectum appeared from nowhere (now I am not saying he shortcutted, but he certainly covered that missing half klm extremely fast), then it was across Musgrave Road and into the home turn for a very quick finish.

Winner was declared Botcho, although this scribe thought there would be an appeal lodged by Rectum, who was placed second, followed by Veteran, who competed in a GC Triathlon on the day before. Well done lads!

Flasher, an expected finalist, was held up by an old root he met along the way and Miscarriage was missing in action.

So Two Dogs now has his handicaps set for the next Indy Run. But don’t forget Dogs to add a few minutes to the last group off, the highest handicapped, as they apparently missed the first turn right at the beginning.

A very good run considering the prospects of rain and location.

STIG REPORT ENDS!

The GM called up the Circle and was standing particularly straight and erect with his full POW regalia on. A special night tonight, with the combined efforts of 5 Hash Sirs, Sir Black Stump, Sir Prince, Sir Slab, Sir Rabbit and Sir Asshole.

What immediately struck me was that many of the above are retired and obviously used to living on a tight budget and managed to bring in the Nosh on time and under budget. As the scribe I will say no more. Rug was stuck for words and said the Nosh was basic and good.  Rectum was invited to comment on the Nosh as a connoisseur of fine food and a particularly selective gentleman when it comes to finer foods. He simply declined to comment.

However, it seems a number of Hashers too well mannered or cowardly, were afraid to offer an opinion on the Nosh in the Circle but spewed forth unbridled venom in subsequent emails and here is but a small snippet from a few…………………………….

There is but only one reason why I joined this Gold Coast Hash: GOURMET. It is a fact that the word resonates deeply within me, due to my virile French roots. Gourmet is synonymous with all this is refined, top shelf, highest quality etc.

Last Monday night, it was the Sirs turn at hosting the Hash. Five blokes with a combined run tally of more than a million. Five big boofheads with so much experience they are treated like royalty. I was busy in Mongolia but I made every human effort possible to be back for the ‘Sirs’ bash. Apart from everything else, food in Ulaabaatar has left an indelible blank on my mind so I rushed back to sup on ‘gourmet’ food……………BALLPOINT

NO WONDER HE DESERVED PRICK OF THE WEEK ! ! HE APPARENTLY IS UNAWARE OF THE $3.00 PER HEAD  BUDGET ALLOWANCE  ( WHICH SIR RABBIT WAS ABLE TO WORK WITHIN ).

LETS HOPE HE DOES NOT GET THE BLUE EYED SHEEP  IN MONGOLIA AND SOME GENGHIS KHAN LOOK ALIKE HAS HIS WAY WITH HIM ! !…………SIR PRINCE VALIANT

 With Respect to the Sir’s and all other Contibuter’s  to the MY HASH KITCHEN RULE’S , I Must say we probably had a typical Aussie Meal ,  typical of pre Mediteranian  Migration  , I assume the Sir’s attempted to re-create that ,with the Banger’s & Mash , I Unequivically lay the Blame FAIR & SQUARE  in the lap of KITCHEN BITCH !!!   NO BITCH and just see what Happen’s ?  The Capital “G’ certainly was absent in the Gourmet on Monday Night , ( APPARENTLY ) ,  Respectfully to our Most Esteemed SHAT !  I MYSELF DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THE SIR’S , would interefere with my Coveted Award , I dont ask for MUCH ,   How  Far do I need  travel to out-do the Sir’s …………….PIZZA

Flasher reportedly disappeared during the run but explained that he had given his torch to Ballpoint so that Ballpoint could do the run. Fanny Charmer said it was a good run because he didn’t get lost. Now to our handicapper of the night, Two Dogs who accompanied by Drum Roll said the 3^rd place getter was Veteran in 34 mins, 2^nd place getter was Rectum and the 1^st place Hasher for the run after due deliberation and complex calculations was Botcho in 33 minutes.

Ballpoint regaled us with his recent visit to Mongolia where apparently he has been caught up in the inexplicable intricacies of the Mongolian court system and after his best efforts in a Mongolian court lost his case. What comes to mind is how could an otherwise clever Aussie think he was ever going to win in a Mongolian kangaroo court. Still licking his wounds and not listening to reason, he said he was going back to appeal.  We may soon be visiting BP in the Mongolian Hilton for contempt of court and judge abuse.

The RA started his session by announcing he had been jinxed by one of the members who said he was amazed how the RA could always enter the circle and off the cuff have plenty to say. This statement  apparently had caused a mental black hole seizure in the RA’s expansive and limitless creative universe of a mind. Kwakka was the culprit and after taking a drink this seemed to bring the RA back to his normal self and he fired on with all guns blazing.

The RA had noticed that Brian Harradine the one time senator from Tasmania who had the casting vote to sell off Telstra had passed away that day.  As a result of the Telstra sell off. Poor Sir Rabbit was out of a job , not that he ever really worked that hard for Telstra. As Brian Harradine could no longer be with us VD was selected as a Tasmanian representative.

No doubt they are distant cousins in Tasmania. Veteran was called out for having the weakest excuse for not attending the Anzac Day Hash Bike Ride with his family as he said he was the President of the local RSL and he would have to go the Anzac Day Memorial Service instead, some excuse.

The GM was called out to award the coveted POW award of the week and after going through some strange test of several members reading memorable lines from movies which clearly had some relevance to the GM, he finally dismissed all those participants and awarded the POW to Ballpoint for a number of reasons, not the least of which he had come back from Mongolia without a gift for the GM.

Next weeks run will be from Jabiru Island at Coombabah Creek.

END OF CIRCLE.

On On

Blue Card

Run 1901
Date:7/04/2014
Location: Miami
Hare: VD & Slug
Runners:32

Mobile Picture Link

Run Report from The Hash – “Stig”

It was not the hounds this week who appeared anxious before the Run, but co hare VD who after backing in the trailer rather late, was busy counting numbers. Very seriously counting and fearing that there may not be enough food. As it later turned out there was enough; just enough, with no seconds, thanks to capable portion control.

Following the briefest of instruction the pack headed east through the tall trees of Pizzey Park where they quickly seemed to get off trail, near the football oval.  Following a forced regroup the pack then headed south and out of the park.

Not long and we came across the first split (Slug’s excuse for a check) which caught a few on the false trail. The real trail led along some tarmac then down into a large opening off Beaconsfield Drive where another split had the pack running in 4 directions. Rectum left, Botcho west, Bent Banana south west and south was Miscarriage slowly disappearing in to darkness, with faint cries of “ooon” “ ooon” heard in the distance.

Up until now Truckie was among  the FRBs , but it was revealed later that he parked near the football oval and observed parts of the trail before the run began. Shame! Or maybe just a lucky bastard.

After several more splits the pack closed and it was then along  Anthony Drive and up some steps into the bush, at the end of which the markings were Walkers left, Runners right. It was here that our disbanded candidate for GM Caustic Crusader disgraced himself, by setting a very poor example to fellow hashers and running (actually racing was reported) home along the Walkers trail. Wank wank.

The runners continued down  Bardon Avenue where the pack again split into several groups. With some additional loops we finally arrived at Paradise Ave after a good workout. This lead into the Pizzey Park east entrance. Some well marked large flour arrows guided us through some grassy patches, then around the lake and home.

At the end it was Tootzie having a Miscarriage out of his Rectum. These 3 were the first back, but not necessarily in that order. They were back in just over 40 mins, with all back within the hour. A great run.

STIG REPORT ENDS!

The GM called everybody up for the usual circle that was shaped like nothing any mathematician could recogonise.

First out was the Hare, or should I say the Hares with VD responsible for the Nosh and always travelling Hashman Slug setting the run. The most notable thing of the run was that Flasher perhaps for the first time in his Hash career did ALL the run. This was personally verified by Botcho that there was no shortcutting and he did the whole run. Flasher was uncharacteristically complimentary of the run and said there were good markings and said it was a good run 7.938.

Flasher was then presented with a special Hash medal made of 18ct gold for his 100% completion of the 1901 run. Bent Banana chiming in for a second opinion gave the run a 7.5. The GM in his normal demonstration of mathematical prowess said that would be an average of 7.73. When asked which school he went to the GM said I loved school, Grade 1 was the best 3 years of my life.

Rug our resident master Nosh critic said the carrots were good, especially with the touch of rosemary and was a change not to have a crunchy al-dente vegetable. Great potato au gratin, just brilliant and he gave it a 8.9. Truck Tyres called in as a first reserve judge gave it an 8.5 and GM once again demonstrating his mastery of pure maths and science said that would average at 8.26.

Aussie was celebrating a birthday and apparently had donated a few crownies but despite this scribe searching in every ice bucket he could not find a free crownie or a free crownie for $1. So Aussie, nice thought but I still ended up with the Pure Blonde beer.

Botcho, Bent Banana and Rock Hard were give the ‘Clowns of the Week’ award as apparently at the weekend they joined up for a little Sunday run at Burleigh Heads and every time a nubile young maiden walked past their heads turned with their mouths open like three clowns in sideshow alley.

Our visitor Toots was given a drink as a stand in for that other Italian, Pizza as it would appear Pizza at the 1900 run destroyed the image of our club as a posh Hash with the Botcho family.

Next the RA jumped in the centre of the circle like a coiled spring and still apparently striking a raw nerve was his debate with Circumference last week as to the justification of the accusation against Circumference of stealing somebodys drink.

Just to prove who gets the last word, Circumference was called out again for jumping to the front of the food queue and jeopardising portion control so that those at the end of the queue were wondering if they would get fed. Circumference not taking things lying down once again argued with the RA. I think ensuring that we have not heard the end of this story.

The RA said the #2 rule in Hash is that when you are up to your eyes in shit, shutup. The # 1 rule however is known widely and he proceeded to demonstrate. One of the Hash chairs had been broken into a crumbled almost unrecognisable mess. He then said “ I ask myself who f*#ked this chair?” immediately one name came to mind, Lurch. Lurch said not me, my best mate Toots. They both came out and took a drink to settle the matter.

The RA following on from the normal email traffic from Hashers during the week said it was apparent that a certain Mrs Hasher had a problem with her plumbing so the RA being the kind of guy he is said he rushed around with his plunger in his hand and some person showing no respect took a compromising photo of him with his stopcock in hand giving it a little flush

. Sir Prince came out looking a bit sheepish but said the princess had sent along a special gift for the RA plumber which consisted of a special brand of beer she had bought back from China which had a picture of a large rooster on the side and it had the name Big Cock beer. Sir Prince has been downing it for 3 weeks with none of the desired results.  VD was reprimanded for parking the trailer in a handicapped space for the duration of the Hash risking a parking ticket for the Hash at 9pm. Absolutely no respect for the handicapped among us including half the walkers in the Hash.

The ‘Kind and Considerate Husband’ award went to Hard On who had asked his wife would she like to go out to dinner on Monday night, maybe have a drink or two and relax with a bit of a flutter on the pokies. When she said that would be nice darling, he said “great, could you drop me off to the Hash on the way to the casino”.

Our well known Hashers Phantom who has been missing for a while was given the ‘Father of the Year Award’ as he was only prepared to accompany his son, who works for an airline, if he could get complimentary business class tickets. No way was he flying anything less that business class even if it was free.

The POW safely in the hands of Rectum for several weeks had a huge number of potential candidates with Rectum calling out about 12 potentials from the circle. This was slowly and methodically reduced down to the last 3 men standing, all upstanding members of the heirarchy.

However, after much individual condemnation of each of the three, the POW was aimed into the crowd and it anointed none other than our esteemed GM as being the person totally responsible for us getting no free shirt for the 1900 run and no free dinner for the 1900 run. The GM who could have pulled rank and invoked the no POW to the heirachy manned up and took one for the team.

Returners this week were Phantom who has been down to Geelong giving the football team some secret training and Truck Tires who has been to China, visited the Great Wall and asked the guide how many bricks were in the wall and where could he buy some yak soup.

A sad report that Josephine had lost the end of one finger in an accident repairing the brake shoes on his car. There was much discussion as to which finger was damaged and what repercussions were for his person life, it may be the finger that one counts the money with.

The Anzac Day ride will be on Anzac Day. Really!!  There will be a 20km bike ride for the over achievers and 12km bike ride for the under achievers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Next weeks run, run 1902 will be a Sirs run. Starting at Sir Rabbit’s bar at his home and ending at Sir Rabbit’s bar at his home.

 

In the absence of any appropriate person to close the meeting it was done on the call of the GM by all present “END OF CIRLCE”.

CAUSTICS TEST FOR HASHERS ALZHEIMERS

The following was developed as a mental age assessment
by the School of Psychiatry at Harvard University

Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake.

The average person over 40 years of age cannot do it!

1. This is this cat.
2. This is is cat.
3. This is how cat.
4. This is to cat.
5. This is keep cat.
6. This is an cat.
7. This is old cat.
8. This is fart cat.
9. This is busy cat.
10 This is for cat…
11 This is forty cat.
12 This is seconds cat.

Now go back and read the third word
In each line from the top down.

 

Run 1900
Date:31/03/2014
Location:Helensvale
Hare: Botcho
Runners:36

Mobile Picture Link

Run Report from The Hash – “Stig”

Prior to setting out on the run, the first item of the night was to welcome back Kwakka who had been missing for a few weeks. With most runners back from their travels, about 35 waited anxiously for Botcho to give a briefing about the nights run.  They were all very relieved when he uttered: “Flasher has played no role in this run. Whatever you do, do not follow Flasher and end up in the debacle as was the last run from Chip In”.

The runners took off across the 1^st tee on Helensvale golf course and after climbing through the fence on the far boundary encountered the first check. Most went left to a CB or right to nothing, as the run went straight ahead.

Not much road work before we came across an RG. Unfortunately for Veteran and Flasher this was written in Chinese so those two, who reportedly appeared from nowhere, continued on and were nowhere to be found until back at Botcho’s place.

The group then led by Rectum made a left turn and terrorised the house of some poor lady (who reportedly was caught earlier removing some of the Hare’s markings). It was then several more checks, a close fall by our clumsy Booze Master elect Caustic, then into the swamp.

At the next check our beloved RA called On On as he came across a CB and just stood there calling. Prick! In the meantime Rectum was off on the correct tail and never to be spotted again. Full of Shit remarked – just like Darwin very hot and humid and very wet below. The swamp worked well and got the runners together again and it was difficult to know exactly where we were, although several trains seemed very close. Sir Slab found the trail out of the wilderness and it was a bit more road work then back into some more bush.

Very good. New runner Tootsie(?) took off and with Miscarriage complaining about being “checked out”, Sir Prince called on his reserves from his recent high-altitude training and followed in quick pursuit. Eventually it was back on the asphalt for a couple more checks and a good run home.

The GM in one of his rare appearances at Hash perhaps prompted by the importance of a 1900 th run called up the Circle, first thing the scribe noticed was that Blackie had taken on a new assistant to prepare the Down Downs. Kendra our mystery visitor was way out in front, literally, helping Blackie fill the Down Down goblets and it would have taken a plastic surgeon to get the grin off his face.

First order of business was a special thank you to Botulism aka Botcho for the magnificence of the night, tents erected and tables set out for a beautiful sit down meal cooked in the outdoor pizza oven and an open fire grill set on a half 44 gallon drum in true Aussie backyard style.

Flasher complained that there were a few drops of rain but somebody countered that it shouldn’t be a problem for Flasher because he couldn’t find the wet spot anyway.

Josephine commented that after 1900 runs the Hare still couldn’t get the markings right.  Bent Banana in a more positive and constructive mood gave the run an 8 out of 10 and  Josephine said you have got to be kidding its 4 out of 10 set around a golf course.

Rug our resident food critic and semi-retired spook reckoned the Nosh was good and the starter was generous. Small bread rolls with sausages cooked on the open wood fired grill cooked to perfection by Kitchen Bitch and the Hon Sec now known as Kitchen Bitch’s Bitch.

Rug reckoned the chicken in the main course was outstanding however he thought the al dente potato bake and the pureed broccoli could have perhaps exchanged cooking times and was not up to the usual standard of Botcho.

However he gave it an 8.3 which for Rug equals an A+. Shat offering a second opinion mumbled something about the Aldi pies again and gave it 8.5 out of 10. Rectum was called on for another comment as he reportedly had 21 of the chicken legs and his thoughts were that the broccoli pate and crunchy potatoes were an unusual but interesting dish. Once again thanks to KB for jumping in as the Masterchef.

Sir Prince was called out as the first runner in the Gold Coast Hash 1900 runs ago. He demonstrated a tshirt from those first years of Hashing. He pointed out that the t-shirt still fitted him….amazing how much those t-shirts stretch in the wash. Kwakka joined him as a year 1 runner and his first away run was in PNG where they flew in a light plane to go on a Hash event.

Caustic Crusader was called out for his overload of spam emails during the week in support of his campaign to be the GM. There was no support from the members for Caustic as GM but 100% vote on the voices from the crowd for Caustic as Booze Master.

There were several suggestions as to how to turn his Holden Astra into the Booze Master’s vehicle varying from chain sawing the rear section away, buying a second hand trailer, everybody putting in $6.50 for roof racks, so it’s almost a shoe in for Caustic as Booze Master in the 2014 hierarchy.

There was a long list of returners this week clearly many freeloaders out to celebrate the joys and pleasures of the 1900 run, Sir Prince, Nasty, Kwakka, Rock Hard, Sir Slab (returning as Slabbatical Tours leader) Pizza, VD, Head Job, Rock Hard and a blast from the past  McMuffin.

Sir Prince in a brief report of their hash trip to China reported that Truck Tires was in fine form and a new Truckism was formed when they were eating yak and cabbage in a local restaurant when Truckie enquired “what’s yak made of?”

Rock Hard had brought back a joint gift for the GM which was a questionable hat more at home in a gay bar.

Sir Slab had a special gift for Flasher which was a strange looking cap which is apparently worn under a burqa and the RA  mesmerised  by the strange looking hat immediately put it on so he could assume a persona of importance in the meeting.

The RA took control resplendent in Flashers gift and first called out FOS for starting out the run with a torch like a German spotlight in front of the runners but quickly ran out of steam and fell to the back of the pack. Generally there is an unwritten rule of no politics, religion or ethnic sledging in the Hash however the RA was quick to call out our resident spook Rug.

Apparently Rug had bought along several medals to show the RA but strangely some were from the Queen of England and one or two were in Russian from Vladimir Putin. Rug reportedly has a Crimean/Ukraine stamp in his passport from last month and there is a strong suspicion he may be batting for both teams.

RUGS OFFICE COMPUTER

To mark the medal presentation and give it sufficient gravitas, all the Sirs were called out to present the medals and take a drink.

Lurch had bought along a visitor nick named Toots who is training to be a personal trainer. Welcome along Toots, despite the strange nick name we hope to see you again and no doubt ultimately we can give you a more appropriate nick name.

Rectum had a new set of runners and in an effort to ward off some life threatening bacterial microbes,  washed his shoe out in dettol in preparation for a down down. One can only imagine the taste of ginger beer, beer and a double shot of dettol in a somewhat smelly shoe.

Tony Abbot proudly announced that there had been no boat arrivals for 100 days and in an oversight had forgotten to especially thank Head Job for being of primary importance in blockading Australia. The downside for Head Job is that he is now redundant and unemployed, no good turn goes unpunished.

Circumference when accused of stealing someone’s drink during the Nosh took extreme umbrage and turned the tables on the RA and made the RA take a drink for making a gross error in character assassination without proper evidence and research.

The POW was held over for another week as the current incumbent appears to enjoy holding onto it.

Next week’s run will be by VD instead of Head Job who is queuing up at the Centrelink office for a suitable position in refugee containment.

The run will be from Pizzey Park and Slug will be organising the run.

Josephine as the Moonbeams stand in called end of circle and 20mins later the dessert was served, chocolate pudding and ice-cream and the hardworking hierarchy proceeded to do the clean up and washing up.

On On

OnSec