Date: 23/11/5015

Run: 1986

Location: Bundall

Hare: Phantom

       Runners:29

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Tonight’s run was held in the wild depths of that suburb where murders take place, where people are attacked in the street, where residents live their lives barricaded behind fortified walls….yes, none other than downtown Sorrento…with that nefarious and rarely seen creature of the night being your hare….the Phantom!!

The run:

“It’s only a short run tonight fellas…about 4km…and the markings are in chalk and flour…international standard markings they are too!” proclaimed our hare at exactly 6.15pm as we all headed off into the depths of danger….. ”oh, and for those of you who stay on trail…there’s a treat…a drinkstop!”

Into Argyle Street we headed and then at the intersection with Campbell Street, we all headed north, following the arrows diligently….a large breakaway pack of runners were seen to be heading on up towards Ashmore Road, led confidently by Sir Two Dogs and other lean, mean running machines……and clearly ignoring the checkpoint which was marked not with the regulation circle, but rather with a large “X” and which very cleverly sent those of us who were paying attention back down in a southerly direction down Campbell Street! Tricky, Phantom…very tricky!!

From there on, in and out of side streets we zigged and zagged!…taking in the sights of downtown Sorrento…at one point coming across a pretty, long-haired jogger, whom we proceeded to pursue for about two kilometres until she peeled off into a cul-de-sac to go home! From that point it wasn’t long until we got to the drinkstop, very kindly manned by Phantom’s brother and son…thanks guys…welcome relief on a hot night!

After the drink stop it was back up along Campbell Street and back to Maison-du-Phantom for the celebrations. In all, a fairly predictable suburban run but a welcome relief after the torture-trail that was the Nerang Forest last week!

The walkers were seen to be strolling here, there and everywhere, and by all accounts had a pleasant and convivial stroll.

Extra-ordinary Heirarchy business:

 A short meeting was held tonight of three members of hierarchy, constituting a quorum and it has been decided that as Aussie has left Hierarchy, we needed somebody who was willing to organise the Christmas function and other such events for the remainder of our tenure as Hierarchy so it has been decided that NASTY is now on Hierarchy and has the official title of “Under Assistant Deputy Director for Cost Reduction of Activities and Piss”…or simply “Minister for CRAP”….phew!! That solves the issue of who is doing all the work in organising the Christmas function!!

The Nosh:

 I know I keep saying it, but yet again it was demonstrated that simple is often best….this week we started off with sausage bites with sauce…and…wait for it….party pies!!!!!!

Mains then consisted of pasta with Bolognese and a very tasty Chow Mein…must have all been good because there was none left of the Bolognese when I went up for seconds!! Dessert was a nice assortment of sliced cake…the moist almond cake was definitely the best!!…it was all low-carb wasn’t it???…oh well, it is almost Christmas!!

Oh, an added treat tonight…BIRTHDAY BEERS from Brewtus, our sole boozemaster tonight (please don’t tell me that Weekly has gone back to Rotary after being called a fatso by Sir Blackstump last week!!). Happy birthday for last week Brewtus..hic! burp!

The Circle:

A big welcome back to Seedy and the returnees from the Philippines and Burma…there are still some stragglers out there somewhere, but good to see you’re all back safely.

Our acting GM, Sir Prince Valiant firstly commended Phantom on the complexity of the run tonight…a run described quite aptly by Miscarriage…. “there was some chalk, but not much…but fuck the run, a lot of us headed off up to Allawah Street to see if there’s been any more stabbings!”

The Nosh was described by Rock Hard as “quite flavoursome” and Phantom proclaimed that “the green stuff was all healthy shit!”.

Truckie was called out the front to answer for the debacle in Burma…to which he replied “Caustic and Flasher are full of shit…I did NOT lose my wallet, I did not lose my money and I did not lose all of my credit cards!!”..oh well, why break with tradition…he got a down-down anyway.

Yours truly was called out for a down-down for stealing Sir Prince Valiant’s splinter lunch guest in Boracay, despite the fact that I saved him from having to pay for her lunch!!

Truckie was called out again for a second down-down for losing his cool in Thailand, falsely accusing a local of stealing his bag when all the time it was tied to his seat on the bus! Ohhh, and what about accusing somebody of stealing his book when all the time it was tucked under his arm??? Gotta love Truckie’s style!!

Next victim in circle…..Swindler out for a down-down for not bringing along a keg of “Swindler Beer”, now apparently available at Dan Murphy’s!! Swindler was followed shortly by Sir Slabb to cop a down-down and answer for his two prangs in the Philippines…neither of which were his fault…LMFAO!!!

The Hobbit…aka Miscarriage was called out the front by SPV to receive a gift from the Philippines…a T-Shirt from the Hobbit House restaurant/bar. He seemed touched by this kind gesture.

Finally, out the front came Brewtus for a well deserved “Hashy Birthday” recital and a thank-you for the birthday beers, which this time were “Tigers” rather than “Crownies”.

With that…thanks Josephine… “end of circle!!”

Next week’s run…a combined run with the Brisbane Hash….from the NORFOLK TAVERN somewhere in the upper northern reaches of the Gold Coast…details on the website guys!

This weeks Pictures

Fanny Charmer

On Sec.

Date: 16/11/5015

Run: 1985

Location: Nerang

Hare: The Swollens

       Runners:21

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Tonight’s run came to us courtesy of our hare, Swollen Colon and his lovely wife, Mrs SW, otherwise known as Leanne and I feel compelled to say that we sometimes forget the effort that the hares put in each week in setting a run for us all, organising a nosh, including all of the inevitable running around buying stuff and then bringing it all together on the night….and all in the name of mateship and with a sense of generosity…it’s appropriate to remember that the Hash is all about friendship and all of us putting ourselves out for each other…so a big thankyou everyone who makes an effort on their run and those who help in any small way each week to make the runs fun for us all….and again it is timely to also remember that our two booze-masters lug all the Eskys and ice for us week in and week out..thanks Weekly and Brewtus!

To the run….what the hell is Swollen Colon doing out of his postcode two weeks in a row???? Surely this is unprecedented!!! Yes, here we were in the depths of 4211, way, way away from 4217, at the Nerang Velodrome for a tortuous run through the Nerang Forest, which I understand is Swollen Colon’s regular training ground. …lucky for yours truly that he saw some Hashers going into the venue otherwise I would never have known that we were congregating inside the velodrome in the undercover veranda of the pavilion….you learn something new every day!!

The run:

We were all called to attention by Swollen Colon using a megaphone and with the sound of a bombing raid horn and the runners were assured that the run was going to be tough and that we likely would not be back before 8.00pm…did Circumference know something I didn’t, because this was the first time I have seen him carrying a bottle of water on a run…and as for Miscarriage, why the need for an emergency stash of cash on the run??

Off we set to the instructions from the hare…. “go up that way” and we all thought we’d be straight into the depths of the forest when to our surprise, after a short distance on the bike track and a short stint in the forest, we were back out on the street and heading towards the pony club. After a short while, sure enough, into the forest we went and that is when the “fun” started. Up and around, up and around we went, making sure that we did not get separated….at least not in the early stages….shortly into the run, Josephine and Circumference thought they’d had enough… “home’s that way…fuck it…we’re going back otherwise we’ll never get out of here!!” one of them was heard to mutter as they headed off down the path.

The rest of us kept going…and going and going…and suffice to say that we did all get separated in the end, despite efforts to stay together…at one stage, feeling totally lost, yours truly heard Botcho saying in the distance “trust me, I’m a Hasher!” before losing sight of him for the rest of the run…yours truly was left with Miscarriage and Brewtus for support, with others breaking off into their own little groups and taking various shortcuts when they realised where the trail went. Yours truly and Miscarriage took tumbles…one in my case and two for Miscarriage…it certainly can get dangerous out there in the woods!!…and thanks Miscarriage and Brewtus for staying back with me whilst I recovered from my fall!

At one stage, at the top of a ridge, we were all feeling like members of that lost African tribe of pygmies…the “Fuck-Are-We”…with all of us declaring that we were members of it, calling out “we’re the Fuck-Are-We!!”…All in all it was a great run, as they tend to be in the Nerang Forest, and when we complained back at base camp about the lack of paper on the run, the hare said that his run must have been sabotaged as he had marked it well that morning with toilet paper! Anyway, eventually we did all make it back, despite the fact that there was 500 metres between markings for most of the run. The run came in at around 7.5 km for most of us so not too shabby at all.

The Nosh:

 Yet again it was demonstrated that simple is often best….Lovely roast lamb casserole, with lashings of peas, potatoes and carrots for mains, with soft, fresh bread rolls on the side…..simple and tasty…and for dessert we had apple pies warmed on the open fire…it doesn’t get much better than this!!!! Again, thanks to the hare and Mrs Colon for their efforts. The twenty runners seemed to lap it all up….many of us went back for seconds and Blackstump was heard to say to Weekly, in his usual diplomatic style…”fuck, no wonder you’re so bloody fat!”…oh dear, let’s hope Weekly isn’t offended enough to go back to Rotary for another twenty years!!

The Circle:

Tonight into the circle we welcomed two visitors, Nutcracker from the Posh Hash in Sydney and Miscarriage’s nephew from Adelaide, Blake…out for a down-down they came and then Blake went out the back for a quick ciggie…makes you sick how these young folk can abuse their bodies but run like the wind!!!

Miscarriage came out for his regular down-down, this time for not only falling over twice on the run but for also losing $100 that he had stuck in his sock. Some lucky mountain bike rider with good eyes is going to be very happy!! Jigsaw and yours truly did consider for a fleeting moment whether we should re-do the run to see if we could find the money, but decided that going home to watch Q&A was a much better idea.

Josephine came out for a down-down on the pretext of being involved in the re-naming of one of the world’s most expensive diamonds to the “Blue Moon of Josephine”!!

Yours truly was the subject of a charge from the floor by Miscarriage and was called out for a down-down, accused of being an ISIL sleeper agent!! I must stop wearing that stupid little beanie in circle!!

Caustic gave us an update on the goings-on in Burma……Truckie has lost all his money, his credit cards and his phone…yawn, yawn, what a surprise! Moonbeams has survived the scooter ride but is bleeding from all sorts of funny places…keep it up champ…live life!!

And that is about all for tonight’s run…circle closed by Josephine… “end of circle”!!

This Weeks Pictures

Fanny Charmer

On Sec.

 

Date: 9/11/5015

Run: 1984

Location: Chirn Park

Hare: Sir Rabbit & Josephine

       Runners:20

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Firstly a bit thank-you to the stand in scribe for the last two weeks, Circumference, whom I believe also had to multi-task last week as scribe, hare and chief cook and bottle-washer. Thanks mate, you’ve done a sterling job during my absence in the Philippines!

And now down to business….tonight’s run, brought to you courtesy of the co-hares, Sir Rabbit and Josephine, started from the Rabbit Warren in Chirn Park and considering that a large number of our members are away in Burma on a motor-scooter ride or otherwise indisposed due to business or pleasure travel, the numbers tonight were quite impressive! Even Swollen Colon turned up tonight and when questioned as to why he was running out of his postcode, his response was “..shit!! I thought this was still 4217!!!”. Also good to see Arse-Up tonight and hopefully he will become a regular attendee also.

The run:

It’s always been said that Josephine always lays a mighty fine run and tonight did not disappoint, with a very diverse range of terrain in what can only be described as a built-up and central area of the Gold Coast. Jigsaw commented “…the council has done a wonderful job…great parks, nice paths…this makes for great running!”. Indeed it did make for great running and despite the assurance that the run was exactly 6.2 km, Two Dogs had it as 7.4 and Jigsaw at 8.00km. There were false trails and an innumerable number of checks on the trail, with Josephine acting as live hare to keep us all on track, which we largely did. It was to be noted that not that many of us actually did the entire run, with many experienced hands deciding to shortcut for various reasons. Missing Link had a good excuse, nursing an injury from his quite serious fall off a bike in the Philippines.

The Nosh:

 Briefly, the nosh was as it should be…simple and tasty…with Sir Rabbit starting us off with two large platters of guacamole dip and corn chips…bloody lovely and it was good to see everyone “scooping in” heartily. Some of the newer runners who had never been to the Rabbit Warren were wandering around in amazement at the array of “collectibles” in the said man-cave!

Mains was copious amounts of Bolognese mince with lettuce and onion for scooping into little burrito platters…a novel yet simple idea that went down a treat! Well done Sir Rabbit!! Dessert consisted of various delicacies of the pastry variety, with the option of ice-cream, cream or custard to wash them down.

Now, to bring back an old tradition….the nosh was rated as 8 ½ out of 10!!

The entertainment:

I have decided to put in this category in my report as it really was a highlight tonight…the entertainment throughout the night was the playing of old videos of long past hash events, including an inter-hash in the 1990’s here on the coast. We all laughed at the sight of some of our brethren back then…it is obvious that Hashing keeps you young!! I would call it the halcyon days of Hashing from the fun that everyone was having back then…most entertaining to watch and again, you are to be congratulated Sir Rabbit for thinking of this.

The Circle:

A quite sedate affair was tonight’s circle as some of the usual culprits (did someone say Flasher???) were absent tonight.

First out the front for a down-down tonight were yours truly and Missing Link as the sole representatives of the wandering cyclists to be back at Hash tonight. Much as he tried, the RA/acting Grand-Master was not successful in extracting information out of either of us regarding the trip…you know the score woof-woof (x2), what happens on tour stays on tour!!

Next out the front for their dose of embarrassment were Nasty and Latrine for the relatively minor misdemeanour of no hats on in circle…nice to see Mme Latrine as a regular attendee both at Hash and the premier cycling troupe, the Warriors.

Swollen Colon was next out the front for a well-deserved down-down for inadvertently attending a run that is NOT in postcode 4217! Whilst on the subject of Swollen Colon, he decided that he would pass on the Prick of the Week award to whomever lost in a game of “spin the bottle” and it ended up being Mme Latrine….oh no…not more alcohol for Mme Latrine… “take me drunk, I’m home!!”.

Out the front came Missing Link for a down-down for having a “quiet night” in Kalibo!! Enough said..well deserved sir!!

A further down-down was given to Mr Lee, Miscarriage’s house-guest from Cambodia…is this man ever going to get to drink out of his new shoes or what???

And on that note…..end of circle!!

Next Week’s run – hare is Swollen Colon – starting from the Velodrome at Nerang and into the forest – we are guaranteed that it will be run of the year!! But wait….Nerang is 4211 not 4217…what’s going on here????

 And for a finale from Swollen Colon….Sir Rabbit has been incessantly complaining about the bats in his trees…well…Swollen Colon certainly put a rocket right up ‘em…literally!!!! This pyromaniac never ceases to amaze!!

 Fanny Charmer

On Sec.

 

This weeks Pictures

 

Date: 2/11/5015

Run: 1983

Location: Bundall

Hare: Circumference

       Runners:20

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The pack gathered behind the GCCC at Evandale where although billion dollars of development is planned. someone still can’t change a light bulb.
Best plans often come unstuck but you don’t know until you go there. So Plan A was to get the walkers away early and hopefully get them back in good time so the nosh would still be warm. The runners took their final instructions and headed off towards Gold Coast racing headquarters. In an unpredictable turn of events, the trail went the opposite direction to normal and some hashers found themselves wandering around the Harvey Norman car park. However they were still keeping in with the racing theme as Mr Harvey only owns about a thousand of the thoroughbreds. Blackie was first home by several lengths. Two Dogs reported that several hashers hit the wall after the run went past the 3200 metre mark and struggled home.
Pre dinner nibbles and cold drinks revived the thirsty runners while we waited and waited for the walkers to finally dribble in one by one from their watering hole. Anyhow finally the now cold chicken burgers and salads were served under torchlight due to some pretty ordinary lack of lighting maintenance. Those still needing food lined up for servings of sweets consisting of of leftover Sir Rabbit donated cakes, strawberries and ice cream.
A well lit area was found near the BBQ’s and our visiting GM, Rug, returning after a 6 week absence commenced the circle. Even our official RA, referred to Rug as the RA by mistake. Circumference was called out as the hare and the GM got critique on the nosh by well known social commentator, Blue Card. His suggestion to Circumference was that he needs to get himself a woman so that the standard of the nosh for his consumption would improve. Circumference in quick response shot back at Blue Card, who has obviously been off the dating scene for awhile, stated that some of today’s modern career women are not much chop in the kitchen or for that matter the bedroom. To even think that some women would want to cook for hashers these days is just wishful thinking and a bonus for those with partners that actually do !
Caustic called out Fuller Shit for some Border Patrol incident but what was even more interesting was an alcohol induced Dr Phil show type confession Fuller Shit had made on a tour about his early love life. Apparently his confession included marrying young, then after it went Arse Up(using another returning runner’s name), he went off the rails a bit sowing some wild oats on the way. Most hashers could identify with this account although most of them had been on the normal reverse way of playing up before actually settling down. And others well , they are still in denile elsewhere.
Aussie Botcho got a down down after his former country’s win in the RWC.
Show Pony was mentioned as he in GCUH with health issues and we all wish him a speedy recovery.
The wheeling and dealing of the attempts by M’Latrine to try and close a real estate deal over a few glasses of red during lunch while telephoning a real estate agent, banks. lawyers were included in the review of the October splinter lunch at Cavs Steakhouse.
A hastily organised Melbourne Cup sweep with hashers pulling their own horse out of a hat took place . As most quickly dispersed after Josephine closed the circle, just a reminder to keep your ticket if you want to prove you are a winner. Flasher by his own admission of going on holidays to a third world country was concerned that he wouldn’t know who won the race. Maybe a Trip to Paris would have been a better tip sorry trip !

On On
Circumference

 

Date: 26/10/5015

Run: 1982

Location: Emerald Lakes, Carrara

Hare: VD & Bent Banana (Halloween theme)

       Runners:22

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Under a full moon the pack headed off in a westerly direction towards the Psuedo-Franco Mediterranean art deco inspired residential monstrosity. The trail went past the now relocated statue of David who has moved on from his heyday in Surfers where many a girl admired his features.

With the well marked trail going up and down stairs and around boardwalks, the pack got a real insight into living in a castle surrounded by a moat. Bent Banana in his sweeping role ensured that the walkers and runners went their separate ways during the course of the run. After about 40 minutes the pack returned from an easterly direction after the tour of the complex.
Cold refreshments then took priority including the leftover beer dregs in cans from Octoberfest. No wonder they were leftover, the gold top cans were no where near as good the silver top cans and even beer connoisseur Josephine struggled so much in finishing his can, that he traded his in on a Tooheys while in mid-stream.
As VD had the nosh cooking during the run , it wasn’t long until all were devouring rissoles. vegetables and fresh bread. Then followed dessert which included a compote of blueberries, marshmallows and ice-cream. Miscarriage also supplied some fresh new season Qld pineapple slices.
By the time acting GM, Sir Rabbit, called the circle , most hashers had adorned their ghoulish Halloween themed clobber. Miscarriage was invited to speak on the run. His response was – we went out, around, followed the trail around and around, it was good. Iceman was invited to speak on the nosh. His response was – steak tartare(no egg on top). He then claimed his rissoles were not cooked and looked orange in colour inside. Suddenly VD interrupted with a – you blind vagina (or somewhat similar wording) , they included carrot. Although opinions were divided on the meat, as Iceman thoroughly enjoyed the dessert, the My Kitchen Rules Chief judge and contestant called it a truce.
Sir R announced that the Hash Useless Award would be withdrawn from the GCH3 commencing immediately. Ferrett offered to keep it in his Hash Museum of Memorabila.
The RA entertained the circle with Down Downs going to Flasher ( allegedly farcupping the run ), Blackie (returning world champion triathlete now heading to the paddock for a spell),and Mr Lee for his high vis new shoes. It was reported that Botcho is having 50 cents each way on the outcome of the RWC final when the West Island plays a combined North/South Islands team in the Cross the Ditch Cup.
Iceman had a crack at a joke about sex and tonsillitis which failed to titillate so he also got a down down for his trouble.
There was no Prick of the Week as the current holder Swollen Colon does not leave his post code for hashing, so until we next visit Main Beach, or it comes back in the mail,
there will be a void in the circle for awhile.
In the absence of Moonbeams, we had take one of closing the circle by Ferrett, followed up by take two by Josephine.

 

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On On
Circumference