Category Archives: Hash Run Reports

Run 1915

Run: 1915
Date:14/7/2014
Location: Mudgeeraba
Hare: Sir AH and assistant Rock hard
Runners: 24

The run tonight started from the park adjacent to the tennis courts at Mudgeeraba, just west of the M1 and a pain in the arse to get to for most of us, with parking at a premium as we were competing with the attendees at the tennis club, but it all added to the adventure that is an integral part of Hash.

Weekly’s opening comment upon arrival was most apt..”where’s the beer??”.

Some 24 hardy Hashers turned up tonight with about 14 of us being runners and the others choosing to walk. It is also to be noted that a small pack of “runners” set off but after some 1.4km fell back into their normal pace of walking. I am reliably told that the change of mind was all Sir Rabbit’s idea.

The run was challenging and where there were arrows, there was a shitload of them, almost to the point of absurdity, with spacing between them being about every 1.5 metres but then all of a sudden there was nothing, with one marked example being a solid two arrow hard on, into a park and then nothing, absolutely nothing! Consequently, this beginner scribe and Hasher, always afraid of getting lost out in the bush late at night, stuck like glue to two experienced Hashers and we still got lost, losing the trail completely.

Luckily Sir Blackstump was able to lead us in the right direction, pointing out that he knew the lay of the land like the back of his hand, having been a land baron in the area in years gone by.

The most significant pre-circle comments about the run and the walk this week focussed on the fact that anything would have been better than last week’s total debacle, which I am reliably told consisted of a run around a fairly large block bounded by Upton Street, Ashmore Road, and Bundall Road and nothing much else.

The food tonight…ahhh, the food!! Again, many Hashers this week could not help themselves and were compelled to draw comparisons with last week’s “food”, but enough criticism of last week, particularly given that your fill-in scribe was not even there and has no desire to engage in commenting on what can only be called hearsay evidence.

Tonight’s gourmet delight commenced with a beautifully cooked Minestrone soup, offered up with lashings of grated cheese to be sprinkled to each Hasher’s choice and with several varieties of specialty bread on offer. Rectum sang the praises of the food and it would seem that with the “gourmet” is definitely back in the gourmet hash.

Main course was a delicious Thai chicken curry, again cooked to perfection and again praised by all, including Rectum. Your fill-in scribe was in absolute awe of the skill demonstrated by Sir Rabbit and Weekly is drinking the curry soup out of the bottom of their plates without spilling one drop!

Dessert consisted of home-made, yes home-made, apple strudel with lashings of custard for those of us who wanted it. All in all a great meal!

Slug, who is now looking very svelte, tipping the scales at about 78 kg, refrained from indulging in the hash nosh, instead bringing along is own dinner. Such willpower is to be admired and congratulations on the new shape and great to hear you are feeling so much better for it.

Circle was held around the remnants of a fire lit by our GM and which was promptly advised by the Fire Brigade that if it was not put out he would be fined $1500.00!!

This weeks Question: What’s the Engines name?

Rectum was asked for his learned opinion of the run, which he described as “very novel” and “where there were markings it was great and where there weren’t it was woeful”. Botcho wisely observed that “it wasn’t a bad run…we’ve done it before but that’s ok”. In usual form, Flasher managed to do his usual disappearing act at the first check, going off and never to be seen again! Ferrett, as was the case with most runners who had done last week’s run, could not help but draw further comparisons!

Returning runners this week – Fanny Charmer – all spruced up and clean-cut after doing a 780km charity bicycle ride from Cairns to Kurumba.

Sir Rabbit was thanked for donating a large cow-horn to the Hash and Lurch did his impersonation of a dying bull trying to blow it.

Our RA had little or no material to proffer this week.

Miscarriage “thanked” those who set out on the walk with him tonight and promptly set about abandoning him. It would appear that Weekly was the instigator of the aforesaid abandonment!!

Rectum was suitably admonished by the RA for apparently regularly running with the Wednesday mixed hash, an action that simply will not be tolerated in the future.

Weekly was called to front of centre and was heard to mutter words to the effect “why am I burdened with all this Hash shit??” as he dragged out the Prick of the Week paraphernalia and the Useless jumper. A “true natural athlete in the making” another Hasher was heard to comment about Weekly as he took centre stage. For reasons unknown to your fill-in scribe, Fanny Charmer was awarded the “Useless” jumper by Weekly.

Weekly then proceeded to read out a statement from Wrong Way Woodsy passing on his Prick of the Week award. A lame excuse of having been invited to a “dinner function” of some description was given in the written statement along with information that his wife had a viewing of the Prick of the Week trophy to which Wrong Way said it was a plaster cast of his own member and that he had thought “long and hard” (hahahaha!!) about who to give it to this week. In typical Hash fashion,

Wrong Way got it ALL wrong and thought it was Nasty who did a pretend chunder after last week’s nosh, whereas in fact it was Caustic who had done this. The rules being as they are, the hierarchy is not to be awarded such offensive accolades so for the sake of continuity, poor old Circumference was AGAIN awarded Prick of the Week.

Miscarriage informed the circle that he is off to Cambodia shortly, after a quick trip to see his father in Melbourne. He will be taking Missing Link with him as his offsider. Look after that new passport Miscarriage!

Some confusing discussion then took place regarding next week’s G:Spot run and then end of circle.

On On

Fanny Charmer

Stand in On Sec

Run 1914

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Run: 1914
Date:7/7/2014
Location: Chevron Island
Hare:Pizza
Runners: 23

Run Report 1914
NOT QUITE GOURMET PIZZA IN THE PARK MORE LIKE A TOUCH OF BEAR GRILLS A LA CARTE
As the tables and chairs were rolled out from the trailer and the new gas ring was fired up, much anticipation fell over the assembled 23 hashers on a cold night in the park on Chevron Island.

Walkers and runners were given their instructions and all headed west over the Chevron Island bridge with Lurch and Missing Link leading the charge. After a false trail, the runners rejoined the walkers where Miscarriage and Josephine had assumed leadership of that group. The trail proceeded behind the Greek Orthodox church where two Sirs struck up a conversation on grandfather duties.

Iceman had a quick snake’s hiss near the Australia Post distribution centre before leaping out of the bushes. As the trail headed south down Upton Street near the racecourse, Truck Tyres was distracted by the call of eyes left to have a quick perve at the girls sweating it out in the gym. With no checks or regroups , the pack soon dispersed in all directions and it was every hasher for himself as they made their way back along Bundall Road and right into Thomas Drive and home.

With no post run ginger beer to be seen , it was complimentary port for those who were quick enough. The hare could been seen cooking hot potato chips on the BBQ alongside some pretty enenemic looking sausages. The GM/a la Kitchen Bitch was seen examining the contents of a steaming pot which had a resemblance to some sort of soup. Upon closer examination it was determined there were some vegetables and other floaties which turned out to be dim sims.

Weekly and Woodsie remarked how professionally the breadsticks had been cut up. The blonde girls from the Boot Camp group who shared the park they with us remarked that it was flashest soup kitchen they had seen on the Gold Coast and didn’t realise there were so many health conscious homeless men on the GC but how come they all had flash cars ?
As the cold air kicked in, the hot chips were going down a treat until some hasher who shall remain nameless decided to pour not sprinkle salt all over them.

So by this stage, the boiling contents of the pot which the hare called minestrone soup were served up by the GM. The soup was quickly renamed mind strain soup. The next course was those pale sausages which by now had got a bit of a Pommy’s sun tan and fitted nicely into the sliced bread. The taste test lead Flasher to enquire as whether they were Rosemary and Thyme. T

hey may have been but the hare was more guarded than KFC about the secret ingredients in his snags. By this stage of the evening the GM called for a circle in five minutes which caught most of the hashers off guard thinking more nosh would be coming first.

It would appear those seated near the trailer were treated to rissole burgers which consisted of nothing else. Botcho asked about tomatoes etc but was told that was it. Flasher asked about sauce and was told by the hare that it was not a requirement either as you don’t need it because – THIS IS REAL FRESH FOOD.

After the GM had suddenly called for the circle, Weekly, one of those hashers who missed out on rissole burgers , remarked how quickly the nosh had changed from previous weeks when he had stuffed himself so much that he was now going to the gym again.

Sir Blackie was asked for a run critique and told the GM – Never Again. Sir AH was asked for the nosh critique and he advised that the rissoles tasted like the sausages. After those comments no specific quantitative details for recording purposes were sought.

The GM then decreed that Pizza’s birthday run was now cancelled. The hare accepted his down down and the RA was invited to take over proceedings. As the RA had little material he called for charges.

Circumference called the GM out to see what his first reaction was to the word – brine. Circumference had seen a particular photo in the weekend newspaper of all the loved up couples socialising around Brisbane watering holes. The GM did not where this was going to until the photo of him and the devine Ms Brine at the opening of the Dutch Courage bar in Fortitude Valley refreshed his memory.

Who would have thought our GM on Monday nights is actually an A list member of the cocktail crowd on weekends. Sir Blackie in the absence of the Suns No 1 ticketholder, Aussie, called out Pizza for being a Collywobbles loser after their loss to the Suns in the AFL. Both nominees accepted their rewards graciously.

The RA’s evening’s awards went to Weekly and Woodsie. Weekly who is still going through the returning rehash orientation program got the Useless award as that was the only one he hadn’t received since returning to the fold. Woodsie was given POW as another returning hasher from a bygone era in the hope he will come back again for at least another week.

Botcho announced apologies from absent hashers -Carefree and Crocodile who hopefully will over their bouts of swine flu soon.
Sir AH announced that next week’s run will be at the tennis courts near the cemetery at Mudgeeraba and it would be a run to die for.

At 8:10 pm, the GM asked Ferret to close the circle. Several hashers were concerned about returning home at that hour on a Monday night not knowing what they might walk into at that time . So they considered telephoning first to make sure their partners routines on Monday nights would not be disturbed by their early sudden entrance home . Others considered which fast food outlet to visit on the way home to supplement the burgers they had missed out on.

Lurch and his band of hash logistics helpers soon had the table and chairs all cleaned up and repacked in the trailer. In a parting gesture , Pizza dropped off some gyprock for run setting by future hares.
This scribe was soon home and on the lounge while cuddling a nice little French piece, a Cote Mas 2012 Rouge Intense listening to four boring economists on the ABC’s Q&A program. Several hours latter he awoke to some other television program and still wondering about the evening’s activities but remembering that every Monday is a different route, so to speak.
On On
The Stig
Photo of GM is on page 29 of U magazine in Sunday Mail 06.07.2014
This week’s question – What does the GM have hanging from his shirt in the photo ?

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Run 1913

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Run 1913
Date:30/6/2014
Location: Gilston
Hare:Sir Black Stump
Runners: 24

Ferrett awards himself the perfect 10 score for his hosting of the Splinter Lunch

Shat send urgent telegram message from London to the RA Caustic.

“Fookit!!! If I’m going down I’m taking all the other karnts with me”

Flasher reported he did top job representing the GCGH in Thailand

Sir Slab welcomed back to Australia after laying another Hash trail in NZ

Warrior Whistle-blower Jigsaw joins Warrior Leader Shat in Europe to enjoy excessive lifestyle funded from club funds. Word is they are regrouping to regain territory lost to the patched HHH lycra bikie group.

Note: Please read words and view carefully as again next week a question will be asked by the GM in the circle about these words. At this stage the track record for comprehension of our hashers is abysmal but this week the clue may not be so be easy to determine. Check out the clue to see who is the most observant GCGHHH.

Evolution History of Hash Disorganization

The Hash House Harriers was formed at the Selangor Club Chambers in Malaya in 1937/38 by E.J Galvin, Malay Mail, H.M Doig, A.S Gispert and Cecil H. Lee. Rumor has it that Gispert was the real ideas man who created the Hash and he was also a Walker.

Run 1913 with Sir Black Stump

Promoted as the the Run and Nosh that is totally predictable.

Will Sir Black Stump be able to break the mould this week?

Will the run compete with Miscarriage as the Cow Paddock Bush Run of the Year.

A group of 24 dedicated athletes circled around the glowing bathtub under the stars in the backyard of Sir Black Stump. Thanks Blackie for making such a great fire for the Hash night.

The pre-run briefing from Sir Black Stump was as always lots of waffle and there were as usual those mumbled words …“walk to the top of the driveway and find the trail marked with arrows”

The GM called the usual rabble to order and sent the group on their way at 6.16 pm with his signature words “ good luck finding the trail’ . Once again he stayed near the warm fire on the pretense his experience as a firefighter was needed in case the bathtub fire got out of control. In the event of a major disaster he asked Nasty to stay behind as well to keep him company but mainly to keep up an ongoing supply of red wine from the newly installed wine casks. Yes, our GM a is a very thoughtful person and dedicated to the Hash and the exercise he gets each week .

After last few weeks of the so called Best Run of the Year followed by the so called Best Nosh of the Year this was looking a hard act to follow by Sir Black Stump

The Run Warm Up

Yes…we do see some of our runners actually do stretching before the run even in the cold night air. They must think that we don’t notice this elaborate ruse to make us believe they run fast. As usual to avoid embarrassment no names are mentioned!!

The Run

Sir Black Stumpspent considerable effort in setting this well-marked Blackie Birthday Run (74 years young). We guess he has the experience so it was expected to be a good run.

The runners and walkers moved into the dark abyss up the gravel driveway with torches blazing. The only relevant clue was the final information that Blackie would be standing at each “check” to make sure no one got lost and all did the full run. Good work Blackie to keep these bastards honest!!

Very quickly both walkers and runners moved forward passing Show Pony as he struggled down the roadway.Geat effort by Show Pony who recently almost travelled down the bright light tunnel on the way to heaven.

Bent Banana and Botcho were leading the runners up the home pathway then left to the mian road. Miscarriage’s run was all looking in trouble as the runners left the bitumen road.

This week there were no International investors on the run so why did the run go via the Miscarriage Subdivision called “Burkeland”.

Lifeline Lurch, Truck Tyres, Bent Banana were in full flight on the run. Blackie was waiting at the checks to make sure each person went the right way ..well done Blackie for your assistance.

On On was then called several times on the run as the group all moved across the bush and then via the roadways but were saved by Blackie with his assistance to get them going the right way.

Most runners this week did do the full run it was by all accounts a excellent run .

The first runners back via the correct rail though the bush at the rear of the house were Botcho with Bent Banana in 54 minutes..Run distance 7.5 km. Well done hashers. Flasher somehow managed to get back first but it seems he has a battery failure and was forced to follow the main road and returned via the driveway but wa son trail all the way ?? work that out!!! ..well done Flasher.

Two Dogs, Caustic and Missing Link came innext in 56 min followed by Lifeline Lurch and Truck Tyres. Josephine decided to walk this week so he could tell the walkers all about the stories in the porno book he found last week lying near a parked car.

Run Critic Caustic “ Best Run of the year so far”. Hare Sir Black Stump put in a lot of effort and experience for this run but again failed to provide a drink stop.Yes..These words say it all …direct from a very experienced hasher!!.These comments by Caustic were wholly endorsed by Truck Tyres

Two Dogs also got in on the act and commented “Amazing how he found new territory after all the runs from here” ..

Great effort Blackie for an excellent run.

The Walkers

As always a big group of walkers lined up at the starting gate.As the walking group is getting slower and most of these geriatics in the past weeks have made little effort to move away from the Nosh and Booze area, it may be time to bring out some supporting equiptment as above.

Again we see those ex runners, Sir Rabbit , Sir Slab , Rockhard, Circumference, Miscarriage, Josephine this week joined by Ferrett tothe ranks of the dedicated professional walkers. Are they now permanent walkers?

The dedicated professional walkers, Slug , Weekly, Show Pony & Swindler all moved out a brisk pace which they kept up the good pace for the 5 km walk.

What great comraderie these brave bunch of Hash Walkers are experiencing.

The Nosh

For the Hare Sir Black Stump it was always going to be a hard act to follow after last week’s Miscarriage’s effort that at this stage is voted “The Best Trailer Bush Nosh of the Year?”

As promised by the GM Kitchen Bitch the hash in now truly back into gourmet.

It was unlimited help yourself food so many had second and third helpings.

Resident food CriTic JosEphine Who had 3 helpings of SPAGETTI & Mince OBVIOUSLY appreciated the food: “Great food and at last back to Hash basics”

Well done Sir Black Stump for providing the meal with minimal outsourcing from Mrs Lady Black Stump …a Great effort that helped to make this ANOTHER REAL hash night of quality and true HASH nosh in a great location around the Fire.

The CIRCLE

Just so we know that that our GM has more than one outfit this week the GM appeared in Katmandu Hat minus Hash Chains and the Moses Staff. However his new long flashy pants did create some interesting comments about sexual propensity.

DD to:

Hashy Birthday to Sir Black Stump
Ferret for getting lost on way home from Splinter Lunch
Miscarriage for last week’s run
Weekly for bringing a visitor

No jokes this week after last week’s Iceman, Crocodile and Ferrett for their pathetic failed jokes.

Useless Shirt

Awarded by RA Caustic to Truck Tyres for losing his dinner plate last week.

Prick of the Week

Q. Can you identify the person who is owner of this sterling silver ring?

Given by Josephine to Weekly so as our new member who now has the Quinella with Icing and DD’ .Next week Weekly can now spend time reading the porno book as well as viewing all the new porno videos added by Jigsaw in the privacy of his room.

Report by GM

Our GM enjoying fine dining at the recent splinter lunch in Surfers. Our GM continues to promise that this year it will be his goal “to offer support for all Hares to create great runs and great walks followed by Gourmet food that he will personally supervise”…If he keep eating meals like this we may have to wheel him into the AGPU next year.

Gift for GM

With tears in his eyes saying “the best gift so far this year” the GM accepted the amazing gift and thoughtful gift from Flasher. (Note this is the first gift he has received so far). Nothing could turn on our GM more. An original ON ON Hash Cooking Apron from a very thoughtful Flasher who has just returned from Thailand or somewhere like this?

Special Welcome:

Our GM gave a special welcome to our visitor Dave “Wrong Way Woodsie” Woods. Wrong Way Woodsie sponsored the first GCGH Run in 1978 and this year we thank him again for the ongoing supply each week of Ice for the Hash. This is a big expense for the hash and will most certainly assist the additional funding of travel plans of your hierarchy.

GM advised that

G.Spot Light Rail Run by Aussie – Date TBA – T shirt will to be created with special Hash artwork to commemorate the First Light Rail Run

Run cost $20.00 including T Shirt & Train ticket …If non-attendance then T-Shirt for sale @ $15 (Please put in order and size asap)

Best Trailer Nosh of Year Award to be made at AGPU

Booze Masters to offer cask wine by the glass. Please note the line on the glass that is at the half way mark .NOT a full glass of wine.

GM advised next week run will be by Pizza!! Our GM has personally promised to assist to ensure that this event so it is not as predictable as suspected. Good Luck GM if you can pull this off!!

End of CIRCLE …….by FERRETT @ 9.14 pm

Swindler

Link for mobile Hash Pictures

Could be a few of our old Hashers in the band! Looks like Truck Tyres on slide guitar!!!

June Splinter Lunch

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June Splinter Lunch
Date:27/6/2014
Location: Surfers Paradise
Host:Ferrett
Runners: About 25

Another great day was had by all. Great food, fantastic company and tooooooo much red wine.

Is this Show Pony relaxing after the June Splinter Lunch?

Run 1912

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Run 1912
Date:23/6/2014
Location: Robina
Hare: Miscarriage
Runners: 30

EX GM Now Loved with Ex Hash Flash Kwakka and discuss important hash issues over a Vintage French Red in the South of France with their warrior mates Phantom and Van Diemen

Shat maybe the next Hash Sir after his meeting this week with Liz at Buckingham Palace

Ballpoint is presently dining the high life in Tasmania on Fresh Lobsters

Sir Slab as usual is working for our Hash in NZ laying another trail

Sir Prince Valiant busy packing his hash shirts to go and meet his mates on Croatia bike ride

Note: Please read words and view carefully as again next week a question will be asked by the GM in the circle about these words and clue to see who is the most observant GCGHHH. At this stage the track record for comprehension of our hashers is abysmal.

Run 1912 with Miscarriage

Promoted by Miscarriage as the First Real Cow Paddock Bush Run of the Year.

….“with the lights of Q1 in the distance”…he must think we are wet behind the ears!!

A large group of 30 athletes circled under the stars with the lights of Q1 in the distance as GM called the usual rabble to order.

It did initially appear that Miscarriage had now lifted the bar on the run standard as the pre run briefing was called under the fairy lights of the nearby Hash trailer in a location surrounded in wild bush.

The pre-run briefing from Miscarriage was as always lots of waffle and there were as usual those few mumbled words …“walk down there and find some toilet paper and keep going into the dark abyss ” . The only relevant clue was the final information that where he was standing was a “check” so good luck to all!!!

Our GM sent the group on their way at 6.18 pm again with his signature words “ good luck finding the trail’ as he too movedslowlyforward with the walkers and actually passed Show Pony as he struggled across the first cow paddock.

As usual the GM made some excuse that there was no one at the trailer and he needed to get back quickly to get the Brassiere going with some old white surveyor pegs he found sticking out of the ground all over the area. He was desperate so there would be glowing hot coals when the runners and walkers returned.

What a thoughtful person is our GM.He just loves the Hash and the great exercise he gets each week . Yes our GM is a real athelete!!

After last few weeks of the so called Best Run of the Year ( every one debatable!!!) followed by the heavily promoted Best Nosh of the Year ( food so far so good) this was looking another hard act to follow by Miscarriage.