Date: 21/9/2015

Location: Main Beach

Hare: Carefree and the Wobblys

       Runners:32

 Next weeks run details

 

“Welcome gentlemen to the second great snaykunt…this year we will be successful…we will catch this slimy bastard who’s probably grown to twice the length he was last year!”…or words to that effect were uttered by our faithful hare for tonight, young Mr Carefree and with the familiar sounds of “on on”, off headed the motley pack of runners into the wilds of the Main Beach headland, where as has become the trend for hares setting runs in familiar territory… “there’s plenty of virgin territory out there guys…and don’t drown in the ocean!!”.

Gracing our presence tonight as visitors we had Bent Banana’s son-in-law, Mr D, down from Brisbane for a visit, along with his mate Nick the Greek, who is actually an Italian and whom yours truly, being able to do this as he is one himself, quickly anointed him with the honorary Hash name of “Wog C##t”!

The summation of the run was given by Bent Banana…..”it could have been a good run but some young blokes were rubbing out all of the arrows and we were all running around like chooks with our heads cut off”.

 The Run (and walk):

Your trusty scribe did neither the run nor the walk tonight due to a f##ked leg, but I am assured that the run tonight was a decent one, albeit one in well-known territory with no hills but most blokes thought it was good fun and a chance to have a leisurely, social time with each other….and after all, isn’t that what it was all about? Unfortunately the boa-constrictor wasn’t found tonight…maybe we’ll have to wait until the great snaykunt next year!

The walkers all ambled in in small groups, chatting amongst themselves in a very animated fashion, obviously also having had a good time…how far was it to the bar at the Southport surf club???

The Nosh:

The Nosh tonight was a corker if I do say so myself, but then I guess I am a bit biased, having been responsible for the mains curry! …the Nosh was a joint effort provided to you by four of your Warriors Premier Cycling Troupe….Carefree as chief maitre d’ and yours truly, Hard On and Moonbeams as sous-chefs. Entrée was “Little Boys”….known to me as frankfurts (but then I did grow up in the multi-cultural eastern suburbs of Sydney), with lashings of tomato sauce, mains was a beef and potato curry with basmati rice and Kumera and other assorted sides, all very tasty indeed! To top it all off we had individual servings of jelly and custard…great stuff Carefree, you’ve done the Warriors proud!

The Circle:

The GM has now departed on his business-class around the world trip…definitely a case of snout in the trough…thankfully it is not the Hash Hierarchy trough!! The very capable Sir Prince Valiant stood in tonight and did an admirable job of it, as one would expect from a Hasher with such a wealth of experience.

First out the front tonight were Carefree and his sous-chefs and a down-down was had after some much-deserved praise to us from everybody in the circle. We love youse all!!!

Caustic remarked in circle that at one stage he saw Colonel Klink out in the bush wrestling with a small snake, obviously not the much sought after Boa Constrictor! Apparently Klink managed to get the snake under control and he was seen to be secreting it into his clothing!

Next out the front were Mr D and Wog C##t, our two visitors…I’m sure that whilst they had a look of mild amusement on their faces, Wog C##t in particular was thinking.. …”wtf..this is so fucking weird!!”. I guess some of our little rituals can seem a tad weird to outsiders.

Next out for his dose of embarrassment was Botcho….happy birthday….69!!!…you don’t look a day over 40!!….and thanks for supplying the free Peronis…hooray for Botcho!!!

Next out the front for a down-down were Swindler, Hard On and Shat…for eating Botcho’s birthday cake before bringing it to Hash!! Thanks guys!!

Next in line for their dose of ridicule were Swollen Colon and Aussie…it was noted that the reason Swollen Colon cannot hash outside of his postcode of 4217 is that he has no licence…a paltry excuse!! Aussie told of his escapades in Greece and other far-flung places…and yes, he’s off again soon and won’t be seen for ages…this also accounts for his resignation from hierarchy.

As per usual, Flasher was brought out and made to eat humble pie for…you guessed it….shortcutting! Sir Slab and Carefree were brought out for a “hats in circle” infringement.

Various miscellaneous charges came from the floor and then we moved onto the Useless Shirt award…again Truckie has forgotten to bring it along to Hash and serious consideration is being given by Hierarchy to awarding it in perpetuity to Truckie…how fitting…perpetually useless!!!

Prick of the Week this week goes from Miscarriage to none other than…Iceman!!…yeah, down, down, down it goes!!!

Oh…and thanks Sir Rabbit for sharing some of that lovely red wine tonight!!

NEXT WEEK’S RUN IS AT 45 ALEX FISHER DRIVE, BURLEIGH GARDENS ESTATE AND WITH A 5.30 START.

On On

Fanny Charmer

On Sec

 This weeks run Pictures

 

Date: 14/9/2015

Location: Labrador

Hare: Botcho & Flasher

       Runners:28

“It’s all virgin territory guys, untouched by human feet…never mind that we’re here in Len Fox Park, that’s just to trick you into complacency!”…or words to that effect were uttered by our co-hares tonight, Flasher and Botcho…none of us believed it of course, but as soon as we headed south through the park and underneath the Lotus Creek Bridge, one hasher said “geez, we’ve never been here before!!….thank goodness it’s bloody low tide or we’d be swimming through this creed!!” ….so in fact we hadn’t been deceived….well, not that much! And thus started our adventure run through the wilds of Labrador…….….

The Run (and walk…yawn yawn!):

Yours truly did the run tonight, as did an inspiring number of others who sometimes do the walk…nice to have you trumpeting along with us Sir Rabbit! In saying that, Sir Rabbit managed to disappear half way through the run and it is believed that he actually went home for a quick ale before reappearing for the nosh! Others who were on the run also seemed to suddenly disappear from sight…must be a lot of shortcutting bastards because when your faithful scribe finished up, there were most of the runners already tucking into the booze and potato crisps!! I had stayed with Botcho virtually all the way and nobody overtook us…youse are all a pack of bloody cheatin’ bastards!!

The run was just on 7.00 km, or at least that’s what my Croatian mate Strava told me and he certainly can’t be wrong! The hares are to be congratulated on setting a run that for what is really well-trodden territory, nevertheless maintained our interest…including having two dogs chasing at the heels of our Grand Master…and I don’t mean our RA, I mean two little furry animals. Thankfully, with several of us yelling out “attack dogs! Attack dogs!” and Sir Rabbit sounding his horn, the GM managed to avoid injury!

Either by accident or on purpose, the run was also set out in such a way that we all managed to stay fairly close to each other, maybe something to do with the “international standard markings” and the five-way checks, of which there must have been at least fifteen! Despite this praise, no Flasher, no matter how much you hassle me on Facebook, I cannot agree that this was the run of the year!!

The walk was, according to several participants, a “good walk down to the tavern and back” and Rock Hard observed that “The Grand was very good!”. It seems that due to advancing age and the associated dementia that obviously goes with it, Shat and the Big-O had drinks in the public bar and Hard On had trouble finding them so had a drink in the private bar out the back.

The Nosh:

When we arrived back from the run, the sausages were sizzling on the electric council barbeques at a rate of….half the speed a snail would travel and Colonel Klink observed “the problem with these fuckin’ barbeques is that they’re not meant for 600 sausages!”.

Entrees consisted of chips and corn chips…a clue that this was going to be a “back to basics” nosh! The mains of sausages and chilli onions also did not disappoint on the B2B front and the best bit of it for those of us on the SRS (SlugRugShat) diet was the pleasure we all got from emptying out the cheese from the bread (white poison) rolls onto our plates stacked high with sausages and onion!! The definite upside of the meal was the upside-down “Australian trifle”…how on earth two refugees from the UK and NZ think they can create anything Australian is beyond me!! Whatever it can be described as, it was definitely good! Truckie’s view of the dessert… “I reckon it was pretty solid..you must have put a bag of sand and cement in it!!”.

The Circle:

The GM started the circle with one of his typically bad taste jokes…this was was the “isn’t that fantastic in lieu of who gives a fuck” one…yawn, yawn, heard it before!!! Can’t blame him for trying though (very bloody trying!!).

Botcho and Flasher were called out the front and praised for their virgin territory run over well-trodden territory and a warning was issued to all hashers that runs are not permitted from Len Fox Park!!

Brewtus,

as the only runner who did the whole run, was asked for his opinion…and denied being the first runner in… “I peaked early and Two Dogs and Bent Banana beat me in”.

 Next it was the RA’s turn out the front and he called Miscarriage out to introduce our two visitors… “I just thought I’d bring the average age of the Hash down a bit so I’d like to introduce me good mate Phil, also known as Splinter and me dad Ron, who you all know….Phil’s only 92 and me dad’s 85!!”.

 Next victims were Miscarriage (again), Sir Slab, Truckie and Caustic (in absentia)…well done in representing our Hash at the Kirra Triathlon..apparently Slab and Caustic blitzed the field on their bikes.

Truckie trod another well-worn path to centre stage….and guess what..yep! the silly dill forgot to bring the Useless shirt…he may as well be awarded in perpetuity if this keeps up!

Prick of the Week…you will all recall it was given to Arse-Up last week in order to compel attendance tonight…well, it didn’t work! He wasn’t here but he did appoint Bent Banana as his agent and it was duly awarded to none other than Miscarriage…for all his sundry misdemeanours!….another likely candidate for the award of POW in perpetuity I think.

The BIG-O was called out to centre stage as a returning runner…apparently he has been running amok (definition: behave uncontrollably/disruptively) in the Philippines…welcome back!!

Miscarriage made a feeble attempt at having a charge laid against Fullershit….Sir Rabbit was asked to adjudicate and deemed it a load of crap!

….and that good Sirs (and others) is your bloomin’ lot for another week!!

Next Week’s run will be from the park at Main Beach…100 metres down from the Southport Surf Club (in other words…Carefree’s usual spot!)…it will be worth coming….your trusty scribe is doing a curry for the mains!!

On On

Fanny Charmer

On-Sec

 This Week’s Run Pictures

 

Date: 7/9/2015

Location: Broadbeach

Hare: Ferrett

       Runners:32

 

Tonight we had another “city run”….thanks to it being Ferrett’s birthday bash….so here we were in the wilds of central Broadbeach, with a run and walk guaranteed to have lots of bush and shiggy!! Not so funny actually as you will read later on…..

The Run:

We were all gathered at the northern end of Kurrawa Park tonight and present also was Caustic Crusader, who informed me that he was actually here spying on behalf of the newly formed southern Hash, aka “The REAL Gourmet Hash”, taking notes on how NOT to run a hash! Indeed…the audacity of the man!! He further informed me that there were five blokes running the southern Hash tonight and that we had better lift our game as there were likely to be many more defectors if this hash keeps degenerating in its already pathetic standard!!…apparently “numbers are growing!”. An old adage comes to mind…never let the facts get in the way of a good story!

 I have been given some feedback that the words are too long at times…so….here goes….the run description…fuck knows, because I didn’t do it and I couldn’t be stuffed asking anybody what it was like and as I walked tonight, who gives a toss about the run anyway???

The walk was a splendiferous one indeed, and in fact it did have all the elements that one would not expect to find in a city walk…there was shiggy, thanks to the construction site at Jupiter’s Casino, there was bush, again thanks to Jupiters, who have lovely overgrown tropical gardens which we had to traverse as we exited the construction zone where we shouldn’t have been in the first place and the company of my fellow walkers was lively and entertaining. We took turns leading the walk and Weekly even took a turn as chief marshall of the walkers at one stage.

For a night done “solo” by Ferrett with no helpers, it was a good walk…the run?…..care factor?…zero!! But I must add the comment by Josephine….”it seems we only did this run last week!!” and somebody came up with the response..”why waste perfectly good arrows!!”

The Nosh:

For his birthday nosh Ferrett provided us with a feast, a veritable feast!! For a warm up there were FREE CROWNIES….when he found out about this, Hard On was heard to say..”fuck, you mean I just paid for the free beer??”

Entrée consisted of a giant bowl of dip….the thick bits were down the bottom, and the top was a bit, well…sloppy would describe it adequately. The corn chips were nice, but the carrot and celery slivers (for those of on the SRS diet) were much appreciated…and those mini Roma tomatoes were very sweet indeed.

Mains consisted of a quite mild beef vindaloo with dahl and rice. Dessert were three birthday cakes…Happy Birthday FERRETT!!!

 The Circle:

The GM has re-appeared!!!…and immediately brought the hare Ferrett out the front for birthday wishes and a well deserved down-down for a great nosh and a decent run and walk. All done with no help. Onya Ferrett!

Brewtus described the run as “a good street run and a great sprint down the beach!”.

The other birthday victims were hauled out the front…Fullershit and Jigsaw and they were interrogated as to their discourtesy in not providing free Crownies for their fellow Hashmen…and with Weekly observing “we’ll have Crownies until well into next year!”…assuming that the birthday lads actually get around to complying with traditional customs.

Our esteemed RA brought several hashers out the front in quick succession on several well justified charges, including VD for being brainless, errr…sorry…hat-less!, KB for coming to the hash solely with the intention of spying for the renegade southern Hash, and Lurch being dragged out the front just so he could stay awake during proceedings!

The Useless shirt went from Brewtus to…of course, you guessed it…yet again…TRUCKIE!!…and of course to make things worse for himself, he kept his hat on during the down-down and copped another one…how many times have you been dragged out the front Truckie?? You’d think he’d learn by now.

Prick of the Week went to Arse-Up this week. Why? So he attends next week!!

Notable by his absence yet again this week was Miscarriage and of course Sir Prince Valiant had yet another interesting tale to tell of yet another Miscarriage debacle…this time to do with screwing up some flight bookings! I’d hate to see what he does once dementia starts to set in if he is doing all this as a relatively young bloke with an allegedly sound mind!

The GM ended the circle with a reminder that the night of the 28^th September, being the knighting of several hashers, will be a REAL EXTRAVANZA…medieval attire will be compulsory, and it will be $20.00 for “the works”!!

Next week’s run…yawn, yawn….a BTB (that’s “back to basics”) run in yawn, yawn…Len Fox Park at Labrador.

On On

Fanny Charmer

On-Sec

This Week’s Run Pictures

Date: 31/8/2015

Location: Surfers Paradise

Hare: Missing Link & The wobblys

       Runners:32

Tonight’s run was in totally virgin territory, starting from Cascade Gardens on the Gold Coast Highway, a location from which we had never run before….ha ha ha ha!!!…only kidding guys!!! In actual fact, this is one of our more familiar “city runs” and as promised by our hare, Missing Link, “this is mostly on the street guys, with just a little bit of park down through Cascade Gardens”. Given that Missing Link had come back from Thailand just to be able to do this run for us, who were we to complain?? Besides, it also meant that some of us could actually walk to the run site from home and not worry about how much we drank tonight…you bewdie!!!!

The Run:

At 6.15 on the button, we all set off, runners and walkers alike. The walkers were spoilt tonight, with the option of three runs, depending on ow far they wanted to go…. “walk 1 is up in that direction to the tavern at Crowne Plaza, if you want to walk a bit longer, no.2 is to the Broadbeach Bowls Club and if you really want a decent walk, no.3 is to the Kurruwa Surf Club!!”. The runners set off in a northerly direction through Cascade Gardens, then east, then west, then south, zig-zagging every which way through the gardens and of course, being familiar territory, most of the runners knew where to shortcut to avoid the wiggly bits, but your trusty scribe decided that he would stick with the hare and followed all the arrows! Finally out we emerged onto the Gold Coast Highway after what seemed like an eternity running the paths of Cascade Gardens. Lurch, who was running with yours truly and Missing Link, asked how far away from the start we were now and Missing Link said “oh, about 400 metres, if that!!”….gotta love these city runs!!

Off we went around the back of the Convention Centre, past the casino, up Bermuda Street, right at which point Missing Link said “there’s a few twists and turns up and down a few of those streets, but we might as well go straight up” due to the fact that yours truly had to walk a fair bit due to a dodgy leg muscle and Missing Link taking consideration of this handicap. Pretty soon we were back at the start, being some of the last to come in!! There certainly must have been a lot of shortcutting going on!!.This was confirmed by Botcho…”I did a bit of a shortcut towards the end”…..as did everybody else from the size of the early-arrival crowd!

The Nosh:

The nosh tonight was courtesy of the Warriors Premier Cycling Troupe, specifically Jigsaw, BlueCard and VD with assistance from Phantom who provided the exquisite fresh bread with lashings of butter! Great effort guys, with entrée of pumpkin soup, mains of pasta with seafood bisque and dessert of fruit salad with plain custard or a lovely brandy custard. Everybody was so busy hoeing into the food that not a whisper was heard from anybody for a really long time…Botcho accurately observed that “it’s all quiet now that the nose bag has gone on!!” and of course Missing Link piped up with one of my favourite sayings..”this is what we came here for!!”…indeed!

 The Circle:

The circle was around the Rotary circle, which made it easy for the motley group to stay in a circle! The GM was announced by the RA to be missing in action somewhere overseas…probably a special assignment for the secret service, but we’ll never know, will we??

First out the front was Missing Link to be commended for his run and walk…”a good walk” commented Weekly and “a good run” commented Iceman…gee, we’re all getting imaginative in our old age!

The three chefs and the bread butterer were all called out the front for a down-down..well done Jigsaw, BlueCard, VD and Phantom…just shows how the well-oiled Warrior machine can work!

Next out the front were our returning runners…Latrine, Ferrett and Swindler…Latrine has been everywhere except here, Ferrett has been on some strange car rally out the back of nowhere and Swindler has been in Java doing some volcano-watching at very close range. Missing Link was also called out again and suitably commended for making the effort to come back from Thailand to set this run

At this point, the Acting GM handed proceedings over to himself in his normal role of RA…and immediately called Colonel Klink out on a charge…for wearing a poofter scarf, which could be mistaken for a Khmer Rouge scarf or one of the Hash’s missing tea towels.

Next to suffer a charge were Botcho, Flasher and Jigsaw for blatant shortcutting…quite frankly I think the whole motley crew should have been out the front..surely everyone did some shortcutting tonight!!

Phantom called to the front to describe an incident where he was out riding peacefully on his bicycle when some “old bloke” in a 4wd suddenly started tooting at him…apparently Phantom “went off like a cracker” with abuse, only to find that it was none other than Truckie in the 4wd!! Oh dear…poor old Truckie gets called out the front for yet another down-down!

Ferrett’s frivolous charge against Circumference for some vague “parking infringement” was resoundingly rejected by the crowd so Ferrett had to take the down-down..hahaha!!

The Useless Shirt was passed tonight from Blackie to Brewtus who in fact is one of the more useful members of our hash…geez, let’s not upset him too much…the minute we give the youngsters a bit of stick they seem to disappear off the planet!!

Maggs, a foundation member who now runs a motel in Narranderra NSW was called out on a charge for whingeing about the cask wine.

Blackie gets our good wishes for the World Veterans’ Triathlon in Chicago..good luck!

Missing Link called out the front YET again..this time for letting his brother Colonel Klink have his mobile phone which was then used for the purpose of harassing Sir Prince Valiant.

The Prick of the Week was happlly passed from Josephine to Jigsaw, for the offence of switching plaques on the “worst run of the year” trophy to the “best run of the year” trophy…truly abhorrent compared to the antics of the other two contenders, Bent Banana and Shat.

A special thanks for Moonbeams from yours truly for doing the words last week when I was absent in Melbourne.

On On

Fanny Charmer

On-Sec

This Weeks Run Pictures

Date: 24/8/2015

Location: Tugun

Hare: Now Loved & Moonbeams

       Runners: 27

 The Run (run write up courtesy Bent Banana)…..

Following hare Now Loved’s clear instructions, about 26 apprehensive hounds headed east out the park and quickly turned left, then west up the road to the hills and bush in the distance. It was up and up and up, with youngsters Rug and Dogs leading the pack and the more elderly Botcho & Flasher close behind.

It was then a sharp right turn along a private resident’s side yard and into open grasslands. The trail eventually led on to a smart check, with the FRBs following the obvious path, which lead to a long check back and achieved its purpose by getting the pack together again.

There were several more checks along what was an interesting and well marked trail through the bush. It was eventually down some steps and on to the bitumen road, followed by another steep hill then a fast jog home, with young Brewtus leading the way. It was a quick and short run and the general feeling was the Hare could have taken advantage of the bushlands and extended the run to more than its 30 mins.

 The On On (write up courtesy fill in Scribe, Moonbeams) …..

Following the previous week’s On On in the dark, chair-less, table-less confines of the Southport dog park, the pack appeared pleased to see the welcoming lights of the trailer and the chairs and tables laid out ready well in advance. There was also a pleasant aroma emanating from the large pot that Moonbeams was reheating on the gas ring.

After the mandatory pre dinner drinks provided icy cold by our trusty and reliable booze masters Weekly and Brewtus,

[jwplayer mediaid=”7864″]

the pack soon lined up and were served a traditional spicy beef curry prepared by Moonbeams embellished with salads of various varieties, steamed rice and Turkish bread. This was followed by Tugun airport themed “Aeroplane” jelly and ice cream provided by Now Loved.

Altogether great nosh was the general consensus. The GM noted “A lot of TLC went into making that curry. It is definitely food to die for.”

 The Circle ……

The hares were offered a down down each and also Blackie was called into the centre for running his own run well away from the marked trail. He was heard mumbling something about having to keep himself safe for his next world senior’s triathlon event that is coming up soon.

Bent Banana’s run comment was that the run was good and well set albeit far too short (well inside the allotted 60 minutes.) Fulla Shite gave the thumbs on behalf of the walkers as well.

The visitors were called into the circle by GM Rug and they included Moonshine (son of Moonbeams, visiting from Sydney), Colonel Klink (brother of the Missing Link). Also called in were Ex GM KB and ex RA Caustic who unashamedly announced that his excuse for not attending the previous week was because he was setting up a new southern chapter of the Gourmet hash.

RA two Dogs then took over from the GM with the news that 10% (or in numerical numbers, three) of the GCH3 were cheating on their wives, and who are you? Josephine was nominated as a likely culprit and was offersed a down down in reparation for his sins.

Truckie was hauled in and asked why the trailer was not on hand the previous week. His explanation of a sheared pin was not readily accepted by Blackie who noted that this section of the trailer should last a lifetime. True, but there is always the Truckie factor. Sir Prince reprimanded Truckie and noted that he had gone within an inch of losing his job of looking after the trailer on behalf of holidaying hierarchy members Link and Aussie.

POTW holder Flasher announced that he had just 2 candidates, Caustic and Josephine. Josephine was announced the winner but it was a close decision. Flasher then had to drink a down down for saying the “C” word in front of Cappa (Botcho’s wife who was giving him a lift home) at the previous Friday’s Splinter lunch. Very poor form, Flasher. It was also announced by Flasher that Pizza has asked to be taken off the GCH3 list of members. All in favour: Aye. Action: Botcho.

Acting trail master Jigsaw called for volunteers for next week’s hare. An anonymous hound commented “Would it be asking too much for the current Committee to step up and fill in for once?”

The Useless shirt was awarded to Blackie for being so precious as to run his own “safe” run instead of following trail.

Chief booze master Weekly complained that his income stream from booze sales was below expectations and that the culprit/s better fix it up (or else, and we know who you are).

Moonbeams called “End of Circle.” Me thinks a pretty good night was had by all.

 This weeks picture gallery