After the summer from hell that was topped off by that abrasive bitch TC Debbie, hashers were keen to enjoy the dry autumn evening conditions after a sunny GC Monday. Nasty announced there were multiple choices of running/walking activities that hashers could do but promised they would all lead to the drink stop. So everyone buggered off heading west towards Bundall. Then a call of, on back, from the bicycle riding hare over seeing the run lead the front group of runners into a gated private property which was a dead end. So back on the western trail until a split between the runners and chuggers took place along Bundall Road with the runners heading further north and the chuggers south to a park behind the shops at Sorrento. The walkers were already enjoying beers in the dark surrounds of the park where returner Pizza was manning the drink stop. When all three groups had assembled and had consumed refreshments it was on home. Corn chips and dips were the entrée before the main course was served.

Mrs Hare was observed to be busy in the kitchen assisting Nasty prepare his signature My Kitchen Rules champion pies, mashed potatoes and mushy peas. Assisting in the flavour of the meal were the always popular visitors, the various members of  Condi Ments and his family, and a special guest from the Sir Rabbit clan, Ms Saucey Gravy. It wasn’t long before hashers after knocking off their first pie were back for another or half of one. Again the kitchen staff excelled with their healthy multiple berries, lamington and cream in a cup luscious desserts hand delivered to the tables of appreciative hashers trying to work their way through their beers and wines and food all at once.

So as not to be considered a noisy GC canal party house by his neighbours, Nasty herded the pack inside for the indoors circle. In the GM’s absence, RA Shat , got the proceedings underway. Sir Prince Valiant gave us an update on Miscarriage’s twin brother who had a drink or two many as a result of not be able to get home until 1am one morning during the recent heavy rain event after being stranded because of flooding of the moat around his abode. A Uber 4WD was eventually able to get him home to his happy spouse. Nasty, who blamed the afternoon’s rain showers on the quality of the run setting got various comments from the floor including blame it on the rain, it won’t get run of the year and very unusual having a live hare on a bike. Fanny Charmer stated that the Aldi pies were lovely and Sir Rabbit got a special message for his contribution of the gorgeous Ms Saucy Gravy. A thirsty Nasty enjoyed his well earned drink for his overall efforts.

The returning runners were next up for down downs. They included Magician, a healthy again Mad Mike,Slug, Sir Blackie and Ball Point who was nominated to stand-in for Pizza in recognition of his overseeing efforts at the drink stop. A special mention was also made of some hashers who had their own substitute wine tour in Surfers Paradise on Saturday after the planned hash April Fools’ wine tour event was cancelled. Shat, Nasty, Aussie, Caustic Crusader apparently put a fair dent into their wine cellars with Pizza loosing both his coherency and his mobile telephone somewhere around the Costa D Oro restaurant.

A new hasher (Peter) with the surname of O’Brien ( just close enough to be associated with Windscreens O’Brien and the epoxy they use) got him the name of Poxy.  Hopefully it will certainly stick with him for a long time without the need of a replacement one.

According to Carefree, absent incumbent POW Blue Card was still giving it thought as to who to award it to at next week’s run.

Now Loved announced that next week’s gourmet food providore will be Campbells, the bulk wholesaler, at his Southern end of the GC run.

Josephine moved a point of order that on seniority Sir Blackie should now be the new circle closer. Sir Blackie, knowing the recent attrition rate that seems to befall the holder of that position, declined politely that he didn’t want the job. However he eventually yielded, accepted the position and in his new role, closed the proceedings to RPR 43. As they say, time flies.

(There is not long to go now until the next group of deserving hashers, no doubt salivating in anticipation will step up to their roles on the new committee at the AGPU next month).

Yours in hashing

CIRCUMFERENCE

We have all had our experiences while setting runs and this one was no different. As I emerged from the car park heading into the woods, I hear this local yell out – There’s toilets down the road , mate. So he’s formed this opinion that if you are carrying a roll of toilet paper and a piece of gyprock, you are going to take a dump in his neighbourhood. Anyhow I figured that if he is a person that jumps to conclusion like that, it’s best to ignore him because if tried to explain hash to him, he would probably have the coppers raid us that evening thinking it was some drug related group in the park.

Grassy Park (aka Mosquito Park) was the venue for Dicky Knee’s third run setting in 10 years. He put together a crew to look after the minor issues like setting the run and organising the nosh. Quick instructions had the runners and walkers heading off around the back blocks of Coombabah. At a check, the walkers went east and the walkers went west. After about 45 minutes, both groups were back at the venue and sipping on the free $1 Crownies supplied by birthday boy, Kwakka. Dicky Knee and KB were hard at work preparing multiple courses. First up was pork belly and apple sauce before

the main spaghetti meal which was from a secret KB family recipe. It was all very quite as hashers filled up quickly on the superb nosh. Next up Dicky Knee served his packaged ice creams, showing how good he can be with his Master Chef desserts.

Returning GM Rock Hard announced a circle warning and all arose and formed a pretty orderly group. Into the circle came Dicky Knee and his

subbies, KB and Circumference to have a drink for their efforts. Fanny Charmer enjoyed the run but stated he would have enjoyed it more if the run had gone into the environmental park, no doubt the hundreds of mosquitoes in there would have enjoyed it too with all those hashers to munch on. Weekly remarked the walkers had got the runners share of mossies as there swarms of them on the walk.

Returners and virgins, Peter, Steve and Crit were welcomed with down downs next.

The RA stepped in and announced the pick up times and activities planned for the Aprils Fool’s Day wine tour.  Ferret got his third down down in three weeks for questioning the bus pick-up times and the planning of the date of the wine tour being the day after the splinter lunch. He just happens to be on the committee responsible for the wine tour.

In a Debbie does 3 hashers moment, Brutus, Elvis and Hard On were called into the circle as property owners in the Mackay/Whitsunday region fully aware that their properties were in the firing line of mother nature’s imminent cyclone. As North Qlders know that although most of the year, they live in a tropical paradise, every now and then all hell breaks loose on that one rare day and hell hath no fury like a woman storm. Especially when that woman’s name is Debbie and she’s not doing her thing in Dallas but giving a nice slow 263 kph blow job on Hamilton Island.

Sir Prince Valiant told how the GC Rugby Union has mentioned Moonbeam’s contribution to the game in Qld at a weekend game. KB suggested a hymn would be appropriate and Sir Botcho was invited to sing the opening line. Kwakka got a birthday drink and Blue Card told a joke about using Viagra Lite for assistance in getting half a fat.

The carryover POW, Carefree, nominated Nasty, Blue Card and Truck Tyres as candidates for the new holder. Blue Card was the winner for engaging Carefree to ride his bicycle for 3.5 humid hours to assist him on his weekend ramble fund raiser while  Blue Card chilled out on the Broadwater.

Caustic Crusader reminded all that the early bird price for the 2018 Commie Hash closes this week.

Nasty mentioned his nosh at next week’s run would be to die for or was that to die from.

Ferret was pleased to be asked to close RPR 42. A changing of the guard since the passing of Moonbeams.

Yours in hashing

CIRCUMFERENCE

Direct from Graceland to Queensland, Elvis in his first gig on his 2017 tour chose West Burleigh’s Silver Thai restaurant last Monday evening as the venue.

(This was the already prepared upbeat intro for the run report prior to the passing of Moonbeams).

However as the news came through concerning Moonbeams, the celebration of his life became the main attraction of the evening. This hasher who regularly told us for several years every birthday would be his last was a true warrior. Every now and again he would get knocked down for awhile with health issues but before long he would be back on his morning bike ride with his mates and sitting around on Monday night’s enjoying a glass of red or two without complaining about the challenges he faced. I am sure when they examine his body parts , they will find he had one hell of a good engine and conclude that they don’t make them like that anymore.

As Elvis had promised a drink stop in his pre-run spiel, the pack under dreary skies headed off through the industrial estate before some slipping and sliding up a mountain where Sir Two Dogs rolled over an embankment before righting himself again. The drink stop was  a welcome site especially when it was located without having to pass Elvis’ angry neighbours’ property (they have previously objected to hashers encroaching on their property in that patch of the Burleigh backwoods). Even better was this drink stop was found to be manned by a friendly neighbour with lots of cold beer.  This neighbour told us we were about a quarter of the way through the run and when Elvis asked him for a torch so he could find the trail he had set, we knew it was going to be a long hard slog through lots of shiggy and up and down the hills of West Burleigh. Every now and then you could see the lights of the northern GC high rises, but in reality it was just a case of follow the hare and hope he knows where he is going. Finally, when we got out of the bush near the Miraki rehab centre, it was on home to icy cold beers.

RA Shat got a circle organised and first out was Moonshine, son of Moonbeams. He spoke how his father had loved his hash mates as family.

Visitor Bren Gun advised he was doing the annual audit of our hash for head office in KL. He found we had passed the audit in most categories except the length of the run which he found was a bit too long. Fannie Charmer had to agree with his assessment as he opened his first beer after the run at 7:55 pm. Elvis as hare accepted his down down for a great long run well marked on waterproof chalk. Bent Banana was the first hasher back (by car) after hitching a ride home upon finding himself lost on the wrong side of West Burleigh. Caustic Crusader was the first hasher home by foot.

Miscarriage commenced a series of charges. First up was the early dining charge on Sir Prince Valiant (SPV) for getting in early for a discount meal. SPV returned serve for Miscarriage getting into a blue with a bikie on St Patrick’s Day while having a few with Phil. Caustic Crusader got Truckie in for a GC Bulletin article about a truckie and a road incident. Ferret had another back fire charge on him for claiming the Elvis hadn’t paid hash cash although he was the hare. Bren Gun for some slight of hand trick of getting Weekly’s car keys into the pocket of his jacket was next up. KB went looking for a leftover Fat Yak Pale ale from the previous week in the eskys but as he couldn’t find any got Bent Banana out for his private premium beer collection storage off-site. Fanny Charmer joined him for wearing his Asic hash thongs in the circle.

Current POW, Carefree, advised that he was holding over the award, and instead as he had prepared a poem about Moonbeams at 3 am that morning, he would read that instead as a tribute.  In a hash first. Moonbeams posthumously closed the circle via some Sir Rabbit audio technology. SPV announced that Moonbeams had left a generous donation to the hash. SPV and the Princess were thanked for all their efforts in assisting Moonbeams during the latter stages of his life.

On that note, the pack moved inside to the restaurant for multiple courses of rapidly served Thai fare and more beers/wine.

RPR 41 will be remembered as the evening we farewelled another great member of the GC Hash.

                                                                           Vale Paul (Moonbeams) Mooney 1939-2017

                                                                                                    RIP

Yours in hashing

CIRCUMFERENCE

A St Patrick’s Day pre-lube was the theme of this event. Even though there was no hash when St Patrick was around for his 106 years from 0387 to

17 March 0493, he probably would have made a great RA, being a saint and reptile remover. You would have to think that he would have knocked the froth off a few Kilkennys and Guinness in his long innings Knowing GC hashers, I am sure some of the local Irish watering holes will be in their sights next  Friday evening to fully celebrate a St Patricks Day/Week.

The venue was the boat ramp car park adjoining the Sundale Bridge. The instructions from the hare were to get to the D’Arcy Arms anyway you saw fit whether it be running, walking, light rail or a combination of any of these. KB arrived nice and early at the D”Arcy to negotiate give-away Irish hats from their old stock collection in return for the purchase of many Irish beers.  Generous Hash Cash Ferret returned just in time from his Ballarat trip to keep a watchful eye over the spending of his stand in, Sir Prince Valiant(SPV) as the cash was handed over for the drink stop. As the soft smooth creamy beers were obviously being enjoyed so much, KB decided to shout those interested another one. The rain began and the return trip back (North) to the Tedder Avenue station beckoned via the light rail where several hashers almost had a brush with the law(ticket inspectors). These fare evaders were saved by the stalling tactics and block put up by their fellow ticket holding hashers to distract the inspectors while they did a runner off the G at the rear of their carriage.

The free $1 birthday beers supplied by KB were Fat Yak Pale Ale and they were being consumed far faster by hashers than them depositing their gold coin dollar donation into the bucket which is required each time you enjoy one of these beers.  Appetites were getting strong after all the beers and it wasn’t long before the hare was serving up an Irish stew with lots of potatoes. The dessert was apple strudel and custard which topped up most pretty well. A circle was organised by the RA in the absence of the GM. Just in case, hashers had missed the RA’s call, a wake up loud bunger was let off in a rubbish bin by you know who relishing in the fact that hash was back in his postcode for the evening.

First up for a down down was the virgin GC hare who as he has slipped into our hash under the radar was asked about his hashing background which was in SE Asia. Bent Banana said he enjoyed the zig zag , well marked, bloody good run and nosh. The RA had spied a couple of incapacitated hashers sitting on their arses in the circle and told them to arise for a drink. So up stepped Fuller Shit and Carefree, the latter then sprung again for another drink for his over the shoulder delivery of beer spillage directly into Weekly’s bag.

The returning runners were Swollen Colon(now back in his 4217 postcode for this run), Ferret from Nash Hash and Rug from the UK. Rug told a bawdy Guinness/Lager joke before returning a stolen hash nosh trophy award from Rectum, another Pom we deported back to England. Things have certainly turned around from a couple of hundred years ago when the Poms used to send their thieves to Australia. So in keeping with the theme of law offenders, current POW Missing Link called the fare evaders into the circle. The no ticket trio were Bent Banana, Elvis(who actually had his not logged on Go Card with him) and Carefree. By a process of elimination Carefree was the last man standing for being the most dramatic runner off the G. He had crossed across the tracks to the ticket machine on the opposite side (South) that he was travelling. So another down down for the new POW, Carefree, who had to get home on his bicycle, somehow. KB was offering juicy betting odds on this not happening because of drink riding incapacity.

KB got a big Hashy Birthday thank-you for his D’Arcy Arms shout and birthday beers. A charge from Ferret on KB was reversed as KB invoked the cunning running defence in reference to his fast trip to the D’Arcy to organise a bar tab and give-aways.

As Moonbeams is always in our thoughts, special mention was made by SPV for Fanny Charmer’s assistance over the weekend in getting his financial affairs in order including setting aside $x for a keg for a Monday night drink.

Josephine was invited to close RPR 40.

Elvis announced that his run next Monday will feature a brand new menu from the Silver Thai My( Kangaroo Down Sport) restaurant (near Fleay’s Wildlife Park) at West Burleigh. So any of this nation’s fauna could be served up in the new courses.

On Wednesday 8 March, the ABC rostered all their male media presenters off for International Women’s Day and replaced them with women to promote Gender Equality. Even women thought this was token madness as it was really gender inequality in reverse, towards males.

Now in Victoria they have replaced the little man on the traffic signs with a little woman, when they change from red to green to red etc at pedestrian crossings. I am sure most people couldn’t give a toss whether it is little man or a little woman, as long as they can cross safely without having to have find a finishing burst like Usain Bolt to get across in time, but why waste public money on such a Dick/Dora trivial issue ?  A far better idea in Australian beach tourist areas like the GC, would be to put a pair of budgie smugglers on Dick and a string bikini on Dora which would be far more interesting viewing for pedestrians. By the way,whatever happened to WALK and DON’T WALK ?

Up Cairns way, they certainly picked an interesting day to open a titillating new venture, a stripped down hairdressing business. Men can receive a head (?)massage, hair wash, hair and beard trims from topless female staff. Local women’s activists said it did nothing to advance the causes of women. Cairns men said they had no objection to women getting their hair done by topless male hairdressers, if that advanced their cause.

Several years ago, a female MP named Anna Burke became the Speaker in Federal Parliament. As this was a first for a long time, many politicians were unsure of how to refer to her as they had been used to saying – Mr Speaker. Should it be Ms or Mrs or something else ?   So they asked her to which she replied – There is no sex in the chair while I am here. The chamber burst into laughter.

What’s next ? , the pointy front end of the plane currently known as the Cockpit being renamed the Box Office because of all female crews.

Yours in hashing

CIRCUMFERENCE