Date:26/9/2016

Location: Robina

Hare: Hierarchy

Hashers:29

Hares are regularly asked when they are doing a run recce or setting a run – What are you doing, mister ? or the more confronting – Get the fuck off my property or I will set the dogs onto you or I will get the shotgun out. Last Monday afternoon was certainly different experience for me while setting the run. Over near C Bus Stadium , some bloke covered in tatts in a black sports car pulled up and asked me – Are you the SEA FM Fugitive ? I replied – Not as far as I know, but I am Circumference from Gold Coast Hash. To which, he just took off. I wonder what the fuck that was all about, I thought. Anyhow as I continued marking the trail, I finally got to the cricket club and two young females asked me the same question about the SEA FM Fugitive. I asked – what’s this all about ? They advised that there was a $5000 bounty for locating the SEA FM Fugitive and the clue was – a ball and grass stains. To these few clues, the radio station had listeners visiting every park form Coolangatta to Coomera looking for the Fugitive. This went on for hours and I had some quite hot little female bodies cruising up in their wheels, having a quick chat to me in their quest to locate the Fugitive and jag the $5 grand. After that procession finished the MILF’s started walking their poodles around the cricket oval. Next up was enterprising young Ben flogging off his plants to raise funds for his deposit on a new BMX bike.Several generous hashers made some purchases with the GM digging the deepest into his wallet before thinking about how much digging he had ahead of him to plant them.

Finally the run and walk were off after the dining set-up logistics were finished. The pack followed the lake around towards the Robina township precinct , towards the railway station, over to C Bus stadium, around the hospital, through the bus station, and back to the cricket club. The walkers who were back first , were settling into their Octoberfest beer consumption mood when the German beers were located in the big esky. A sound track of German music classics fired up in the background with Josephine hanging out waiting to hear the Chicken Dance song, but alas he had missed it while he was still on the run . so he had to settle for the next song from the Beach Boys Tour of Germany album.

The kitchen crew of KB, Sir AH and Truck Tyres soon had the dips and crackers out for entrees. Many hashers had changed into their German clobber including some Nazi look a likes and some Bavarian boys brigade outfits. One big Nazi/SS officer made a smashing entry as he belted his leaden truncheon onto a table from the trailer. As a result, he left a fair sized indelible dent in the table for all to see. A couple of hashers, knowing I was the current POW, then asked me if I had witnessed that , to which I replied to in the affirmative.

The appetites of the now well lubricated hashers were coming to the boil as the mains were served. Lots of sauerkraut, onions, bacon and big thick sausages were served in fresh bread rolls. The red wine was also appearing on the tables. Those still hungry hooked into the strudles and ice-cream for dessert. Others had another German beer for their dessert.

The GM called it was time to load up the trailer in readiness for the circle. The ever alert Missing Link noticed a table was missing from the inventory and I quickly assured him, it would be available after the circle. As the hare, I was pleased to hear Josephine enjoyed the run as he said it kept Flasher on trail which is normally pretty hard and the involvement of the hare on the run., He compared it to – sometimes it’s like rounding up cats. Asian visitor, Mental, was next up and he told of his hash adventures and his club’s upcoming 1700th run. Sir Prince normally has a bit of dirt on Miscarriage and sure enough, he told the circle about his mate nearly burning down half of Gilston last Saturday when a regulated burn off turned into a bushfire. I know it was all true, as I could see all this smoke on the mountains from my drinking spot on the deck of Rainbow Beach Surf Club at Snapper Rocks. In the absence of Miscarriage, Dicky Knee , his proxy look a like (?) , took a big swallow for him.

RA Shat then remarked that he had to broach the next topic a bit like the plebiscite, a touchy stepping on egg shells matter. He called for the table and for the record asked it to be identified as Exhibit A. With the spade work done and the exhibit on display in front of the jury, the current POW, stepped out in full regalia and spoke how hash trailer property needs to be looked after by all as a lot of generous donors and hash dollars are tied up in those assets. He then pointed to the dent made by the Big Nazi/SS officer.
Under that army clobber, was none other than our GM. Shit, is this going to create a drama giving him the POW , thought many in the circle ?. Anyhow in true hashing democratic tradition, it went to a vote and in an unanimous vote, the GM became the POW. Sir PV was quick off the mark with a note which the circle sang heartily.
Moonbeams closed the circle to RPR 16, in a German styl spiel.

MEDIA WATCH

A Lucky Prick

A Vietnamese man is recovering from a penis reattachment after the husband of his mistress allegedly sliced off his genitalia.
Dr Dong of Bac Giang General Hospital said – The patient’s condition is stable , however it will take some days to learn if the function returns to the victim’s genitalia.The hatchet man,Nguyen Van Huen began stalking his wife after suspecting that she was having an affair. He allegedly caught her at a hotel where he allegedly chopped off the man’s penis and then threw it away.

The penis was found 200 metres away after an extensive two hour search for the missing genitalia after the victim’s relatives convinced Huan to reveal its location.
The victim, obviously became quite worried during the two hour search as his reply to being asked would he miss it, if it wasn’t found.
Of course I will – was his reply.

It reminds me of another story about a girl working in a busy takeaway years ago who used to write the customer’s name down on the order and call it out when it was ready. One evening, in sheer desperation of waiting for a customer to return for his order she screamed out – Has anyone seen Mike Hunt ? Bemused customers were not sure whether it was also a case of missing genitalia or as was it the couple of blokes, standing outside, pissing themselves laughing, playing a prank on her.

HERE’S SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT IT

From Wikipedia – In April 2013, elected politicians from 9 different political parties voted to change the Marriage Act in the NZ parliament. There was no need to outsource the job to every New Zealand household for comment. Since then over 25% of the marriages for same sex folk have been Australia couples who took a three hour flight across the ditch to get hitched.

Prior to last Australian General Election, the government was quite up front that a plebiscite would be held some time during the life of the next parliament, should the government be returned. What the government was not so up front with was how close it would follow on from the election,the Census and how much it would cost.

On 2 July 2016, Australia voted and the government was returned. The 11 February 2017, is the date, the government has suggested that Australians participate in a survey about marriage. The issue to be surveyed on has been around since 1980 and there have been 24 attempts to table bills on it in the Australian Parliament since then to date. Since 1980 there have been 10 Australian PM’s, 13 General Elections and 8 Census. Another General election is due in 2019 and another Census in 2021.
Recently there was another opportunity to survey Australians on the subject on 9 August 2016 during the GASH (Great Australian Survey of Households) or as the government calls it, the more political correct, the Census. In that survey, the ABS already asked Australians about marriage, divorce, remarried, single etc. One more question on the census form could have saved Australians millions of dollars.

Thirty-three (33) weeks is the time between July 2016 and February 2017 and the cost is anticipated to be about $170 million, including to explain Yes and No arguments, which is not exactly rocket science,when another piece of paper in July 2016 or another Census question could have saved the next required event and Australian tax payers money. In hash time terms, that’s just over half the life of a hash committee.

The government also talks about budget repair but we still borrowing billions of dollars, so we can send more foreign aid offshore.It’s a bit like things being tight in the family budget and the Salvos come knocking on your door, but as you want to be seen to do the right thing you go and borrow $50 off your neighbour to give the Sallies.
However when you see what is happening in the rest of the world with displaced people, whose homes have been bombed to smithereens and now resemble Deen Bros demolition sites. wondering around the planet and even drowning at sea, maybe it is better drowning in a sea of debt than drowning at sea, full stop.

Maybe there’s no better time to be an Australian and realise how lucky and great it is that we all live in The Lucky Country, where our politicians throw tax payer’s money around like drunken sailors.

Yours in hashing

CIRCUMFERENCE

Run 2031 Pictures Here

Date:19/9/2016

Location: Chirn Park

Hare: Sir Rabbit & Josephine

Hashers:33

There’s always a first in hash, and this 138th birthday party was a first for most of us as we celebrated Sirs Botcho and Rabbi’t s birthday. Prior to attending, I tried the local $2 Reject Shop to buy some candles for the birthday cakes. When the female shop assistant asked – What age birthday ? and I replied – 138, she nearly fell over. JC, she said, is it for a male or female, as we have blue and pink candles. I said – Blue, as it will match his tablets that he takes to harden up. She roared laughing and said – there’s hope for me at last, if there’s old boys out there still getting it up at that age.

The entertainment had already begun as the pack assembled inside the BarNGrill. George Thoroughgood and Bruce Springsteen were belting out a few hits on the screen and a few hashers looked readt to party first without the exercise component. Anyhow, Josephine got everyone out the front for instructions and soon it was on west towards the cricket club, then the dog park,Sharks AFL,the hockey club, ALDI in a clever use of all the concrete paths that entwine those suburbs which is handy for hash runs and finding your way home when pissed from any of the various watering holes. Near ALDI, Flasher or JC, another of his alias’ tried a bit of imitation of that more well known JC, famous for cross carrying, picked up an ironing board and carried it through the back streets like a thief in the night. Upon his return he dumped it on Sir Rabbit’s deck where it was discovered by a not so happy Dame(Mrs) Rabbit next morning .

The thirsty hashers where soon hooking into the birthday beers and wines provided by the generous birthday boys. A mountain of corn chips and some home made avocado/fried beans based dips were welcome additions to the serving table. Before long , Sir Two Dogs wandered out with a plate full of chilli con carne soft tortillas and announced that the mains were being served. The caring hare had even gone to the trouble of preparing a non-chilli version of the nosh for Dicky Knee so as not to upset his bowel movements.

A lot of hard yakka had obviously gone into the preparation of both courses as they were as good as Mexican food you would get anywhere on the GC. In all honesty after doing 30 farts and 3 shits next morning, how could I not say that was not high quality nosh.

J-Lo was strutting her stuff on the big screen in between some family snaps of the Rabbits and the Botchos’ this has been your life over the last combined 138 years. It wasn’t long before Sir AH presented the birthday cakes, candle blowing and singing began to celebrate the special event. More entertainment soon had a few heads turned to the big screen when nubile nymphs began performing cunning stunts with the occasional flash of vice versa thrown in as well.

The GM called an inner circle of old farts, sorry septuagenarians, and told the rest of the pack to leave the warren and go out to the deck. This act of discrimination resulted in 20 in the secret men men’s business circle inside and 14 outside. Anyhow Sir Botcho emerged unscathed from the initiation ceremony which the 14 others will have to wait and see happens when they all turn 70 down the track. A full circle of all 34 attendees was then commenced and the hare, Josephine, and birthday boys were soon enjoying down downs. It wasn’t long until Jigsaw emerged and told that although all had enjoyed his complimentary birthday Coronas at the previous week’s run, he had been overlooked in recognition during that circle. The GM quickly sorted that out and a third birthday was celebrated.

RA Shat then took centre stage and out came Miscarriage for the previous week’s misadventure at Gilston, which although Shat had not attended, he had enough about it from hash intel, to declare it was worthy of a down down for some of the logistical hiccups hashers had to endure on the mountain goat territory night.Next in came Truck Tyres, known always keen to help out a damsel in distress. Apparently he was seconded by harriette Sex on Legs to move her white goods and somehow put a hole in her (ice) box when acting as a removalist. In the circle,Truckie told us a story about how as he didn’t hear Caustic Crusaders’ “Toot Toot”, he missed getting a lift and ended up driving himself to the evening’s birthday bash.

It wasn’t long before the Northern Alliance were all up for a joint down for leaving Miscarriage’s previous week’s Gilston run early. Following on from that,
Miscarriage seized upon the opportunity to award Josephine POW for leaving early and as a result he didn’t close the circle. This looked like a bit of the rough end of the pineapple call as it was Circumference, noticing Moonbeams was attendance to close the circle, who had made the suggestion during dessert to the Northern Alliance – do we want to get home Monday night or Tuesday morning ? As Josephine couldn’t get home any other way, because the last Gilston-Parkwood bus service had finished for the evening, he had no choice but to leave as he didn’t fancy the walk home. So Circumference ended up with the POW rather than the well and truly stitched up Josephine.

Moonbeams closed the circle to RPR 15.

MEDIA WATCH

A Nasty story has emerged about a woman who burnt her feet during a hot coals fire walk at Tony Robbin’s “Unleash the Power” show in Sydney.
Her feet injuries were so bad she had to be hospitalised. The motivational speaker claimed that participants could turn their fear into power by walking across hot coals which can reach temperatures upwards of 1000C. He claimed that once you start doing the impossible(or at least what you thought was impossible), you can conquer the other fires of your life with ease. For the sucker believers wishing to participate in this type of event, it cost them a not so cool $5000 to get burnt at the seminar. Apparently this is not the first time this motivational exercise has inflicted injury onto participants. During June, 30 were burnt in Dallas, with 5 of them hospitalised.

For any hasher adrenalin junkies contemplating this type of BS stunt, there is a cheaper FREE version of this torture available to all in the middle of every Australian summer,by walking barefoot on bitumen or on the sand at the beach for long enough. Don’t forget the sunscreen as you wouldn’t want to get sunburnt as well, while you having a crack at it.

Apparently Swindler is working on some sort of similar innovative walk for hashers in the circle, using ice. Weekly, you could be first up after your ice acrobatics a couple of weeks ago. Stay tuned for this, some time down the track, as summer kicks in.

HOW’S THIS FOR A WEDDING INVITATION RSVP FARKKUP

Guests were asked to advise of their RSVP attendance intentions and their meal preference
…………………Beef………………………Pork………………………..Child (under 12 years)
Maybe it was a cannibal wedding ?

Genuine vegans were pretty well excluded, although there are a few practising clayton’s vegans out there who consider themselves vegans on the logic that cows eat grass and they eat cows.

WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT

There is something new trending and it’s the CLAP. Considered socially unacceptable for centuries, it is back bigger than ever and its from the national capital of all places. A place considered only for the home for politicians, a bit of stray rooting from time to time and production of pornography. Yes, that’s right , this strain is called the VIKING CLAP and there’s an outbreak in CANBERRA.

In recent weeks, the CANBERRA RAIDERS NRL team have been cheered onto the field by all their full blown supporters with that particular CLAP. And it doesn’t go away in a hurry, in fact it lasts the whole of winter and this year it is particularly strong. Visiting teams have been warned how quickly it can blow you off the park and a particular hooker is one of the main reasons for the damage. Also when the 6 and 9 combine and form the 69, it can also be transferred via the ball(s).

There’s fair chance, it may find itself in Melbourne in Sydney in forthcoming weeks. Early symptoms are slime green in colour.

HERE’S A FEW JOKES FOUND ON THE BACK OF FERRET’S MENUS AT HIS RECENT RUN (Sorry about this)

The girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I had never met herbivore.
How does Moses make his tea ? Hebrews it.
All the toilets have been stolen in New York police precincts. At this stage the police have nothing to go on.
PMS jokes are not funny ………….. Period
There was bloke who used to be a banker until he lost interest. He got a job at a bakery as he kneaded the dough.
A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy !
And finally Ferret’s favourite – I didn’t like my beard at first, then it grew on me.

Yours in hashing

CIRCUMFERENCE

Run 2030 Pictures Here

Date:12/9/2016

Location: Gilston

Hare: Miscarriage

Hashers:31

For many of our older hashers who remember the good old days of virgin bush, before shaven became the norm across the modern GC landscape, it was a trip down memory lane for them at this run at Gilston. As the suburb named after one of the Gold Coast’s pioneering villages still features good hashing territory, it was with great anticipation we headed out to the recommended venue. Finally, most found the car park, climbed the hill, carried the eskys, set up camp squatter style on the deck of a house overlooking a big burn off bon fire. Shit, this looks good, commented most until we all told to move as we were not even on the hare’s property but it was his neighbours house we had turned into a base camp with bags scattered all over the verandah. So after gathering our swags, off we went down the track to the correct venue. Brewtus remarked – I am starting to feel like a Syrian reffo.

By this stage, the pack were getting toey about starting this “all the signs of a debacle/ could be a late night” event. However the hare still had to get the food, so he bush bashed down through the hills to his car at another car park to get such. On the way back, he found Sir PV who had already done 60klms around the area trying to find us.
Finally it was down hill and up dale and walkers/runners scattered all around place, with no one having a clue of where the home trail went. Sir Blackie checked and checked but couldn’t find any trail.

The hare hung with one group and others figured out a way home arriving in dribs and drabs to meet another mob of hashers who hadn’t even moved and decided to arse sit as security over our bags. Jigsaw who had supplied some Coronas suggested we celebrate his birthday with him. A Santa’s bag of boxed nosh was opened and soon we were munching on chips and crackers and pretending we were also enjoying the cheese and dips the hare had left at home.

When the hare emerged and their was no further nosh in sight, the GM called an early circle while the kitchen team started dinner. An esky full of sliced cabbage looked about as appealing as a esky full of some of that trucked in South Australian piss they tried to pass off as beer during the great Qld XXXX beer strike in the late 1970’s.However somehow the hare, Sir PV and Truck Tyres ended combining all these bits and pieces of ingredients to come up with a dish known as a Cambodian Asian Beef Salad. An interesting condiment was a dash of Castrol BOOB Plus (Balsamic Blend & Olive Oil) to lubricate any dryness to the marinated beef especially for those hashers who hadn’t had a good service for awhile. Nuts and noodles topped off this dish which judging by how quiet it was when it was served, must have been accepted pretty well by the starving hashers , especially those with dietary requirements before midnight each evening. As the clock headed past 9:00 pm, some hashers were becoming agitated at the possibility of missing Aunty’s Hollywood Hour – another episode of Queue & Nay and all the associated BS played out from the rent a crowd mob every Monday night after hash. The third course of this out there menu was tinned fruit, again from Cambodia.

During the earlier circle, Bent Banana was the first called out as he had been sprung by another hash cam of doing a red arrow runner while driving out his way. As the normally topless running Flasher had finally realised there is thing called the body cooling down was next out for begging others hashers for some warm clothes. Josephine, the green thumb from Parkwood got a nomination for receiving the latest marketing real estate marketing ploy, a plaque for best garden. somehow his neighbours and their neighbours were all multiple winners. The moustached Magician who told all about his recent world travels was dobbed in for failing beer economics, 38 hashers and 24 Coronas does not make for 2 beers for the Magician.

Swindler, also back from his travels in the Top End, was asked to give a note but as he had his hearing aid turned off, he was slow to respond. Now Loved told us about the hare shouting his dad a full breakfast while he only had a snack and then as he got envious, distracted him with some female perving and swapped the meals. Former Top End fisherman told of his successful day in the Broadwater cleaning out the flathead and bream stocks which should be a tasty nosh down the track.

The hare’s neighbours deserve a special mention for being great sports on the night especially when we had all arrived and unwittingly took over their place earlier. There was Les, sprog Jet and mum – a hasher by the name of Ride the Monkey who for some reason become known as Grind the Monkey in the GM’s mind. She told an interesting story from a years ago about another shotgun totting neighbour in their vicinity who upon finding flour circles and toilet paper toilet paper and a hare setting a run on his property sat up all night in case the hasher returned. Apparently that hopeful hare was Sir AH.

it was great to see Moonbeams back to officiate in the closure of the evenings proceedings of RPR14.

No need for you to guess who got POW for his failure to get his run logistics right on the evening, the hare.

We all wake up, thankfully, to Tuesday morning’s news and it is all about the Hayne plane becoming a train wreck where he has gone from a football dreamer, to a happy clapper bible basher to a rapper dreamer partying with a bikie. However if he ends up getting a stretch on the sidelines, early in the 2017 season, there may be a silver lining in it for our bikie hashers to recruit and make him an honorary member of the their patched association and who knows he may drop another $5 grand wad of cash our way. Over to you, guys. I mean he’s got to have his breakfast somewhere and he’s currently obviously got money than sense. I can sure as shit tell you I want be falling through any more fucking rotten timber walkways just to get a donation for the club off the council while this far easier opportunity is there for the taking.

FROM POMMIE LAND / FINALLY THERE’S A JUDGE OUT THERE WITH SOME BALLS (AND SHE’S A FEMALE)

John Hennigan appeared before Judge Ms Lynch QC, facing sentence for his ninth sentence for an Anti-Social Behaviour Order, and after being given a custody stretch in Her Majesty’s finest, began his tirade from the dock, by telling her that she was a bit of a cunt. She retorted – You are a bit of a cunt yourself. Being offensive to me doesn’t help you. Hennigan shouted back – Go fuck yourself. You too – replied the judge.

Hennigan then began screaming – Sieg Heil, and singing – Jews, gas them all. To which Judge Lynch commented – We are really impressed. Take him down.
Hennigan’s wrap sheet for previous breaches included – abusing a bus driver and pub door staff,raising an arm in a Nazi salute, calling black people cunts and niggers, telling black Caribbean women that he doesn’t agree with inter-racial relationships (only natural ones ?).

However Judge Lynch had the last say in the matter – I am not going to argue with you, your offence is thoroughly unpleasant and for repeating breaches of this order using the most unpleasant of language and causing distress, I am sending you off to prison. You will have 18 months to think about your actions, cunt.

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT ONLY THE YANKS WERE THE WACKIEST PEOPLE ON THIS PLANET COMES THIS BEAUTY

Not to be outdone by the more famous named Trump family from the USA, Australia has unleashed the Tromp family who went walkabout on a bizarre National Lampoon style Australian vacation where Mum, Dad and the kids toured cross the country via the NSW/Victoria border and then they lost each other in various towns. As the stolen Holden Berina sped north, a Talking Heads CD was thrown in the car stereo and soon all were singing along to -We’re on the Road to Nowhere as the kids got excited about having their first visit to the trip themed park of Paranoia World.

Before leaving their home without their ATM cards, credit cards,passports etc they all walked out the front door and left their house open just in case any local real agents were looking for Open House places for their weekend listings. Police in two starts began searching for them and some of them were found in hospital psych wards and then the old man gave the world the bird when he was finally found on Father’s Day. The kids, out of boredom while seating in the backseats, invented a new road trip game of seeing who could throw their mobile telephones the furtherer out the window.Ivan Milat might be lucky he is behind bars theses days, because if he had encountered them while they were touring around the Belonglo Forest , he might have just met his match if the family had the farm shotgun with them while on tour.

While it is easy to take the piss out of this incident, it maybe a timely wake up call for all of us that there are lots of people out there in our community who are challenged mentally every day in their lives and it is worth remembering to reach out and ask RUOK and maybe and help them with information about appropriate assistance from Lifeline on 131114. Anyone who is a regular Go Card junkie in SEQ or user of the M1 will know that these type of people are out there amongst us judging by some of their behaviours that can be displayed randomly. I recently had some Nerangatang nutter ask me while I was on the train why do QR ask everyone to take their personal belongings with them when they get off the train. I told him – Mate, you’re telling the story, why ? His response was – In case they go bang ! Next day, there was a bomb scare at Helensvale railway Station.

Yours in hashing

CIRCUMFERENCE

Run 2029 Pictures Here

Date:5/9/2016

Location: Miami

Hare: Ferrett

Hashers: 23

If Sir Bob Geldorf was a hasher, he probably wouldn’t have thought about writing a song called – I Don’t Like Mondays because he would have been out enjoying himself on Mondays like we did at Ferret’s run last Monday evening. Appropriately named Bazza’s Birthday Bash, this event is getting better each year like red wine.Walkers and runners headed off in different directions and soon the first group of runners were under fire from the bouncers at the Monday event at Miami Marketta especially after Flasher told the rather calories overloaded Bro to -come and have a run and lose some weight. I don’t think Flasher will be showing his dial around there anytime soon as the CCTV footage should make an interesting photo on the who not to admit list. There’s one thing about familiar territory run as hashers relax and have a chat about solving the world’s problems and soon the kilometres just pass by and no one gets lost.The walkers were abandoned by a flu affected/map holding Sir Slab midstream and local Slug stepped up made sure all got home.

Menu lists were placed on the tables and they read like this – Cheese and Jatz Crackers, Minestrone Soup(Homemade Brand) with Garlic Bread and Parmeson Cheese,Chilli
Con Carne with rice, coleslaw and pasta, Fried Bananas with Ice Cream, Birthday Cake, accompanied by Complimentary CUB Crown Lagers. It was just one conga line after another for the next course as we worked through the menu. Every man (including hasher KB) and dog (the suburb was like Bali with hordes of mutt nosh sniffers) arriving for the food they could smell. Some of the mutts even brought their female handlers along to join us. Who wouldn’t want to dine our el fresco style beside the beach with that fare on offer. Maybe Sir Bob Geldorf could one day join us during Comm Games Hash and then pen something like- Maybe Mondays Are Not So Bad After All.

The GM decreed a sit-down circle and Ferret was given a gutsy verse of Hashy Birthday Fuck You. Sir Two Dogs spoke about the run which included a nice sprint home from Miami Hill to the Monica Avenue venue. GM Rockhard declared that the nosh was very bloody good.

RA Shat invited KB in for a drink as a returning runner and as he spotted a disinterested BB talking in the circle, his number came up for a down down as well.
A couple of champion athletes, namely Sir Blackie and Hard On got notable mentions. Sir Blackie , pound for pound , wfa, world champion triathlete in his age group after good results on the tour in Chicago and Adelaide. Watch out Darwin Don, Sir Blackie is moving up to the next wfa level and is gunning for you on the world stage.
Hard On, not to be outdone, stood up on a local stage, well at least on the greens at golf last Sunday with a good win at Royal Surfers Paradise.

The Brunswick Heads Cruise Boozers told of their boozy adventures south of the border last weekend when they tried to get some early drinks around Mullimbimby and Brunswick. Two Dogs had a good recollection of it all but the weekend was all pretty hazy to Missing Link who could only remember between 9 -10 am each morning because he had breakfast at that time.

Miscarriage, always ready to have a crack at a charge, alleged that the real Two Dogs were regularly sighted during the evening with pairs of dogs roaming in and out of the tables from time to time during nosh. Sir Rabbit gave the charge the thumbs down and Miscarriage took one for his backfire.

In a novel approach to POW, a volunteer stepped up to receive the award from Weekly. Botcho who wrote a great run report on the Splinter lunch admitted there had been a couple of porkies in the report about Weekly’s non-payment of lunch which Weekly had swallowed hook, line and sinker.

Josephine got the nod to close the circle to RPR 13.

COFFS HARBOUR HASH ROAD TRIP TOUR – 11 to 13 November 2016

Over the years, GC hashers have ventured south to Coffs Harbour H3 for their annual November weekend run. We have had good times at Park Beach and Urunga. This years event will be held at Sawtell and is sure to be another great weekend. Hash bus trips are always fun and as we haven’t been on an interstate one for awhile, it would be good to get some bums on seats and have a few drinks especially as Beer o’clock is an hour earlier in NSW at that time of the year.
If you like to have a relaxing beer or two while travelling or even learn about different NSW North Coast towns, you can combine both of these on this tour.
The trip down may see you joining in a new B for Beer drinking game, where you can enter in a whole of bus team, smaller groups in relays or if you have big thirst as an individual. All you have to do is have a Beer every time you see a new town commencing with the letter B displayed on a road sign on the trip south.
Just to help those not too familiar with the road past Coolangatta, here is a list of possible reasons for a Beer – Bogangar, Burringbar, Brunswick Heads, Bangalow, Byron Bay, Ballina, Broadwater, Brooms Head, Bellingen, Boambee and Bonville.
As the Coffs Harbour H3 supported us at the Boonah 2000th, it would be good to return the favour and show our support for them.

So let’s get ourselves organised and start showing some interest so bookings can be made. Details on the GC H3 webpage.

WHY WASTE TIME ON A SPELL CHECK WHEN YOU CAN END OR EVEN COME UP WITH THIS BEAUTIES
From the GC Bulletin Classifieds

NOTICE TO READERS
Advertisers in this category must be a certified therapeutic masseuse. No sexual services are on offer.

Then beside this notice, New Delux Massage. 7 Masseuses. Rear Entrance, Rear Porking and Shower. Happy Hours. $10 discount if you come in mornings.
And another with the heading – Colombian & Aussie (surely not our hasher) – Come on and try our New Staff
Then someone obviously new to the GC – Asian, Main Beach, Taiwan ( could be handy for our Taiwan based hasher) Sheza Hotti and waiting for you
Your place/my place in Miami area, Facial Thai Massage, Call Tan Tat Beauty anytime on 0407 069 069
And finally , we have all heard of Migaloo, the albino whale but here’s another rarity , a flightless bird that they don’t even have across the Ditch – A Blonde Kiwi.
Then says high class, GGFE ? ( Who knows what that means , but if you willing take a stab, it maybe, Guaranteed/Good Fuck Everytime).
Busty Korean, another providing GGFE including an unforgettable ending
New to Southport, shaven Vietnamese , free pork buns for you to try in opening special. Limited time offer, come early.

FROM EMPLOYMENT SECTION

Former Missionary, from Africa, new to GC, seeks new position. Willing to try them all.
Work Wanted – Unemployed Boner seeking goob job , preferably in Beaudesert area. Long time experience in bush. (Probably wants a good job which would be better for his career prospects)

FROM THE PUBLIC NOTICES

SAA Monthly meeting at Mermaid Beach Community Centre(probably stands for the Sex Addicts Anonymous judging by the number of deviants the GC Bulletin claims are involved in human trafficking of morally flexible young Asian women judging by the increasing number of the new flesh for fantasy businesses now operating in that area in readiness for the Comm Games)

Yours in hashing

CIRCUMFERENCE

Run 2028 Pictures Here

Date:29/08/2016

Location: Mermaid Waters

Hare: Truckie, AH, Slug & Caustic

Hashers: 69

HARE – Slug ,Truck Tyres AH, and Caustic Crusader
Sixty-nine (69) {English}, Soixante Neuf {French}, whatever you prefer is the cardinal number between 68 and preceding 70 This number certainly took our hash to a all time stratosphere at this run with Jigsaw who was born on 6/9 having his last run as a sixty-nine year old and 69 hashers participating in this event. Co-ordinate terms such as cunnilingus, fellatio and cluster fuck were some of the thoughts that went through the brains of hashers as these numbers flashed up before them.

The evening started without a welcome to all our visitors as one of the hares in his excitement to get things moving gave directions as to where walkers and runners should go.Near the soccer fields the runners went south and the walkers north. Somehow the hares had co-ordinated the run so well that the runners coming home past the tennis courts arrived as the walkers wandered in through the pine forest. Dicky Knee, Flasher and Bent Banana soon had the bar open for the thirsty Monday hashers and Sir AH and his kitchen bitches served the entrees of dips, cheese, ham and cabanossi.

Truck Tyres and Shat were flipping sausages and rissoles while Slug, Ferret and Sir AH got the salads and breads prepared. It didn’t take like before Sir Blackie sniffed out
the aroma from the BBQ and got a queue going to line up for the main meal. There were so many rissoles to consume, it looked they would be part of the down downs in the circle. Shat did a few rounds of the tables where the now very quite dining hashers were dining to do some rissole top ups. Slug helped out the Qld strawberry producers with a bulk buy of their product and topped it off with ice cream for dessert.

The GM soon had a working bee putting the tables and chairs away in readiness for the circle. The hare team were up first followed by welcoming representatives of visiting hash groups including multi hasher, our own Iceman. Ms Wally of Border Hash said – it was a fantastic, fucking run and a multiple rissole fuelled Sir Rabbit labelled the excellent hamburgers as a 9-10 rating.

Weekly wanted to say the walk was brilliant as well, because as it was a replica of a recent Brewtus one in that vicinity, he considered that the imitation of it was the sincerest form of flattery by all those involved.
RA Shat wandered in with a couple bags of ice and they placed on a esky and invited Weekly to plant his cheeks on such. It was then demonstrated by Weekly in a not quite Torville and Dean moment why Australia don’t win many medals on the ice at the Winter Olympics.

Arse Up, our hasher, watched as weekly went that way as punishment for doing a CRAFT not paying for his meal runner from the last Splinter lunch. When he regained his composure, he invited any of the hash ladies if they wanted to join him for a spin. The ever alert not to miss the moment Dicky Knee decided to cash in and award the POW to the now frozen Weekly who made an oath that in future he will pay for his meals in advance.

The Brisbane hashers who made the visit were awarded a drink for their bravery in attending in light of recent M1 snipers and pile ups. As Sex on Legs is heading off to Pommie Land, her well known layer, sorry brick layer Pizza, in his absence, wished her farewell by using his stand-in proxy, Cheesy Pizza. Both enjoyed a down down.

Miscarriage stepped in with a charge for Sir Blackie calling him Mr Rectinol, the name on the back of his chair. This meant that he was much more than a regular arsehole.
As the clock headed towards 10 pm, the GM asked Ferret to close RPR 12. That just meant the circle was over, not the evening, for some hashers intent on forming a Thirsty Monday hash by drinking the bucket dry.

HERE’S SOMTHING TO THINK ABOUT
Word has it that one of our recently new single hashers recently picked a new doctor for a check-up.
After two visits and exhaustive blood tests, the doctor said he was doing ‘fairly well’ for his age. (He has just reached 65).
A little concerned about that comment, he couldn’t resist asking him, ‘Do you think I’ll live to be 85 ?
He asked, ‘Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer, wine or other hard liquor ?
‘Oh not much grog these days, except some monthly lunches at Cavs and I don’t smoke’ – he replied. ‘And I’m not doing drugs, either ! ‘
Then the doctor asked, ‘Do you eat Cav’s rib-eye steaks,barbecued ribs and fatty roasts ?
I said, ‘Not much anymore as my former doctor said that eating all that red meat is very unhealthy ! ‘
‘Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like at the beach, playing golf, boating, sailing, surfing, hiking, or bicycling ? – the doctor enquired.’
‘No, I don’t,’ he said.
He asked, ‘Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or chase women to have a lots of sex ? ‘
‘No,’ he said.
The doctor then looked at him and said, ‘Then, why the fuck do you want to live to 85 for ?
Because as politicians who don’t actually live in the real world and have their head in the sand,
well they reckon that I will have to work until I am 70, if I can find an employer, so I want to at least have few years to do those things !
Yours in hashing
CIRCUMFERENCE

Run 2027 Pictures Here