Date: 29th January 2018…………………………
Location:Robina……………………………………
Runners:29…………………………………………….
Run Pictures……………………………………….

Another Sirs Run

It showered , but it did not rain. The 1st Sir , Sir Slab reset his trail on his bike OR did he ?  The 2nd Sir unpacked a truck load of pots , pans , woks and stuff from his 4wd. The crowd gathered under the roof of the Cheltenham Cricket Club and waited patiently for orders.

SS waved the flag after mumbling something about 6ks or was it 3 ks but who gives a damn , anyway the pack took off leaving the 2nd Sir to set up his chinese kitchen ably assisted by several non Runners , you know the usual suspects ….Dicky , Hard On , Blue Card .  Botcho and Ballpoint were also seen to be lazing about as well , seems Botch was injured or worn out or something and the other bloke did’nt offer an excuse

Yours truly was a bit delayed with trying to fill the water tank of the trailer so we could have some wash up liquid after the meal …. Truckie ???? Anyways I got going and lost the trail before I went 100 metres.. so be it , I persevered and eventually found Caustic and Shat who redirected me back home. Due to my lack of knowledge I cannot give you any comments on the rest of the run.

Back at the ranch the cook had donned his chinkie hat and was sweating it out cooking the main course while Hard On was over cooking the entree…burnt Dim Sims and wee Spring Rolls were soon devoured by the hungry pack.

29 paid up and settled in for the main course of Beef stew cooked with soy sauce and other ingredients to make it taste chinese … the mango tossed in at the last minute actually gave it a good look and disguised it so it came out as … weefnchowmeennmango and rice a famous dish from Whoflungdungs Peking Cookery book…nice touch Sir PV,,,always a good meal from the master of the Wok.  Sweets was his usual Flied Blannanas , also very popular with Queenslanders….

The circle was a blur it went so fast , no really I nearly fell asleep as it went way on beyond my bedtime. Bluey raved on a bit and gave a few miscreants a down down , welcomed a returning runner or two , invited Miscarriage into the circle , that,s always a mistake, handed the reins over to the RA who told a couple of jokes , several people got the punchline on one of them.. eventually Bluey got the circle back and gave Botcho the floor to give out the POTW . He had no idea what to do with it so gave it to Miscarriage because he is the most popular boy in town , no seriously it was a democratic vote that got him the award .

The circle was closed down by Ballpoint who is next weeks hare  it’s somewhere in Nerangatang country I believe. Check the web site eh..

On On for ever

Ferrett …………… soon to be Sir Ferrett…..

Commonwealth Games Hash Event…Details

Date: 22nd January 2018…………………………
Location:Burleigh……………………………………
Runners:34…………………………………………….
Run Pictures……………………………………….

Run 2099 Hare (s) Magician (Thong Muncher)

34 runners/walkers.

In the absence of our erstwhile Grand Master, Miscarriage was deputised for the occasion and immediately adopted a persona reminiscent of a certain German Fürher. A milling, uncertain, rabble rapidly became a coherent, decisive band of dedicated hashmen as soon as “On On” was called.

THE RUN

Afterwards, as we puffed and panted over a cooling libation, Iceman informed me that we had covered about 4.6Km. That seemed about right for this run around the very pleasant and fragrant Elanora Wastewater Treatment Plant. Reminded me of my days in Hong Kong and runs along various stormwater nullas that had a similar aroma. Just follow your nose, the hare had instructed. Trump had clearly been informed of the area when referring to Shitholes.

After the treatment works were left from our behinds, the runners jogged south beside the Pacific motorway only to cross it at Nineteenth Avenue and jog north on the other side. Obviously three crossing weren’t enough, so the trail then went back under the motorway twice more before we were “on home”.

All in all it was a quite well marked trail and any chance of getting lost was negated by Magician pointing out the correct direction as soon as it looked like the pack might take a wrong trail.

Except of course Bent Banana and Swollen Colon, who took off the wrong way after the first check and went out on the home trail. When they met up with the runners, they immediately turned around and took the quickest short-cut home.

THE BUCKET

Back at the bucket, Sir Prince was relating a story about a painter with a broken arm doing renovations at Barry Sheen’s house. It transpired that the accident happened when he walked off the second level scaffolding while ogling Mrs Barry, wearing hot pants, bending over in the garden.

THE NOSH

Having failed to get the generator up and running, Truckie’s hangman talents came to the fore as he set about organising a rope over a tree branch to hoist up Sir Slab’s light. Once the illumination was sorted, we could see what the hares had on offer for the grub but was that a good thing?

As it turned out, the two-minute noodles, with a choice of medium or spicy chicken casserole proved to be a hit with assembled diners. That said, I don’t think the guest hare throwing on the greenery to disguise it as a healthy repast fooled anyone.

Although I didn’t partake of the desert, it was described to me as “quite nice, for a Lemon turd in a tart”.

THE CIRCLE

Down Downs went to:

• Sir Two Dogs for suggesting that “A quick Circle is a good Circle”. Miscarriage obviously took it personally.
• The two hares, Magician and guest, Thong Puncher. STD gave the note.
• KB for being late to the gathering. He also praised the nosh declaring it “Worthy of a runner up”. To what? Jigsaw did the honours with a note.
• The night’s visitors were next, Thong Muncher from Saigon via Sheffield and Dragon and Savaan from Cambodia. One of the Cambodian lads was driving Miscarriage home the previous evening and went around a round a bout the wrong way – twice.
• Sir Black Stump for falling down, again and for setting some sort of record for the number of hospitals visited. Prince provided the note.
• Shat and Sweat Hog for their birthdays.

The RA entered the circle and, his jokes can be paraphrased as:

Tom Jones, “not unusually”, covered in ice cream and sprinkles, “topping” himself for telling “sheer” madness stories about Victoria’s Secret needing an “iron”.

Hats were handed out to Now Loved (500 runs), Truck Tyres (250 runs) and Rug (500 runs)

Notice of Show Pony’s one-year anniversary remembrance is to be published in the Hash News

The POW caused much confusion. Swindler’s stand-in, Magician with only half the kit, gave it to Botcho for reasons unknown. I wonder who Botcho will give it to next.

Black Stump finalised the evening with a very enfeebled “End of Circle”

Date: 15th January 2018…………………………
Location:Broadbeach……………………………..
Runners:29………………………………………….
Run Pictures……………………………………….

Weekly had put a lot of thought into the setting. Tables were set out in a row on the footpath under a street light. The views were across the man made lake towards the shopping centre along Bermuda Street, and further across to the hinterland hills. There was a cool gusty wind, almost chilly, and the skies were clear. The trailer was set up across the footpath, and Wrongway was busy cleaning the BBQ. A couple of guys were fishing for flathead in the lake.

Weekly called the group together and gave the runners instructions. Once the runners were gone, he instructed the walkers to walk around the lake, but if they wanted a longer walk, to go further down to Markeri Street and up Rio Vista. “No hills” everyone was thinking, the walk could not have been flatter. We ambled along Lakeview Boulevard, north, then west then south past the fitness centre and shops. We noted a break in the chain link fence and scrambled over it. Back along the new road towards home.

Weekly had a couple of plates with crackers, salami slices, cut sausages, onions, olives and a variety of cheeses. Ferrett stepped in for Jiggy to collect cash. Wrongway and KB were busy at the BBQ cooking rump steaks. A dish of garlic potato and broccoli bake was opened up and prepared for serving, and bowls of green salad. Rump steak was very tender. Dessert was fruit salad with a sprinkling of desiccated coconut and a dollop of yogurt.

After chairs and tables were put away, the GM called the circle, but Weekly, KB and Wrongway were not finished cleaning up around the trailer and BBQ. Weekly was blowing smoke through both ears.

Finally, Weekly came out. Shat gave a run report (was he on the run?). Ferrett almost fell into the canal, Brengun helped Ferrett keep attacking plovers at bay. Swollen was brought in for falling over on the run and to help Weekly. Slab gave a note.

There were food reports on the steaks, and Josephine was complimented on supplying retro cans of beer. STD gave a note.

Visitor was S-Bend who has moved up from Sydney and will become a regular. Sir Slab was called in for beating the odds and staying alive!

Returning runners were Miscarriage, Phantom and Swollen. Botcho gave a note.

Returning walker was KB, Wrongway gave a note.

Stand-in RA Miscarriage stepped in.

He called in Brewtus, but he had already disappeared, Phantom and Weekly for celebrating the YES vote at the cinema. Josephine gave a note.

RA recounted how he was celebrating Hogmanay in Scotland as advised by Caustic and was hemmed in by the crowd and felt like a stuffed pig the way he was battered around. He said the local police made an official apology to Miscarriage. As Caustic was not at the run, RA called out KB for the down down. Sir Rabbit gave a note.

RA called in golfers, Ferrett, Botcho, Hard On and Wrongway and recounted the recent incident in Hawaii when the residents were informed by SMS to seek shelter as incoming ballistic missiles were detected. Golfers had nothing to fear as they were always in a bunker. Miscarriage had the down down, note by KB.

GM stopped RA for anything further and called in Wrongway, who was ex police, to recount a recent report about a man found in the Brisbane River with net stockings, make up, and a cucumber up his arse. I didn’t recall if he was still alive!

Aussie stepped forward and read an article in the local rag about socialite KB being featured.

Josephine complained about the foreign coins in the bucket, including an old shilling. Only Aussie coins please, but no 5c coins.

Bit of confusion about next week’s run. Was it Missing Link or Magician? Go to the web site.

GM gave stand in RA an opportunity for one more story.

He recounted about his twin brother making no appearance on the trip. He reckoned is was because Sir Prince had lent his a coat. Prince got his coat back along with a down down. Miscarriage got his twin brother back. Miscarriage gave the note.

Phantom closed the circle with the help of half the troops.

Remember to use dobin@keen.net.au if you have a story for RA, and register for the Rally on 17 March, maybe an Irish Theme?

On on

Mad Mike

Date: 8th January 2018…………………………
Location:Bundall………………………………….
Runners:32………………………………………….
Run Pictures……………………………………….

I asked a few hashers, and this is the first time Black Stump has hosted from his “new” house in Sorrento. Blackie said he missed the spaces at Nerang where he could swing a tractor around, but he has settled in now. Hashers gathered around the pool, and gazed across the canal where a girl in a bikini got out of her pool and sauntered into her house.

Blackie called the group together and gave instructions. Walkers go out of the gate and turn right, follow the arrows. Runners turn left. He promised a short run/walk and plenty of Spag Bol for later. Walkers went southwest along Boomerang Crescent, a quick tour of Wombat Court, back onto Boomerang, then right into Platypus Avenue. Here the arrows seemed to disappear, but there was nowhere else to go, so it was heading back home again. As we approached Blackie’s house we saw the runners coming from the other direction. About half an hour, short as promised by Blackie.

A few hashers jumped into the pool, apparently Weekly created a tsunami and displaced a lot of water. Blackie requested the trailer and had set up some tables and chairs in any available space. There were dips and crackers on the tables. Blackie was busy inside stirring the Bol and Spaghetti. He put grated cheese and a bowl of salad out, with garlic bread. He frantically called for Fanny to come and help him serve up the Spag and Bol. Several went back for seconds. This was followed by ice cream, chocolate mousse and a few other pies.

GM called the circle, some suggested he should hold the circle from the middle of the pool, anyway, everyone seemed to gather around ok.

Magician was called in for talking along with Blackie for leading Magician astray.

Blackie was told to stay in the circle as hare. GM asked any of the runners for a report. Fanny started, until someone shouted that he wasn’t even on the run. Two Dogs reported that he and Brewtus ran about 3.6 kms. Aussie was brought in to keep Blackie company. Shat gave a note.

Rug was asked if his phone had dropped into the water, it was actually Truckie.

There were three visitors from Darwin, friends of Fuller who gave a note.

Weekly stepped into say that he had his hair permed, and was caught by Prince. Slab gave a note.

Donald Trump made a special appearance to present Fuller with a special award. Fuller was asked why he did not have any oil in his vehicle engine, not good for engines. Fuller was given a T-shirt, which he put on. Jigsaw was called in to note the genealogy on the T-shirt, all about all the little shits and old shits. Fanny was called in to interpret the legal writing at the bottom of the shirt. They joined Fuller in a down down. Note by Truckie.

RA stepped in and called Nasty in. He read a newspaper report about a nasty spitting in the car park.

Circumference was called out for spilling the beer esky on the way in and depriving any potential for an icing.

Aussie was called in and presented with a cap marking his 450 run..

Caustic called Weekly in for displacing the pool water level. Causing gave a note for the four of them.

Caustic explained how he was compensated while overseas and a flight from hell caused him to be stranded for three days. He was given about $900 per day. He was not complaining, it was more than he paid for the flight.

Slug was brought out for his birthday drink, Prince gave a note.

RA went on with a few jokes.

GM asked if there were any announcements.

Caustic gave an update on the Commonwealth Games event, including various options on pricing. He encouraged hashes to sign up.

GM announced the car rally to be held 17 March, and asked for a show of hands from those looking forward to participating. It was a Saturday drive, lunch stop, overnight at a secret location. Accommodation $80 for a two-bed room. Three meals at $10 each, all up about $70 per person, unless you wanted a room to yourself. Book early with Jigsaw.

No POW this week as POW was not there, to be carried over.

Slab presented GM with three gifts from his overseas travels.

Next week’s run by Weekly, see the website.

Brewtus closed the circle.

Remember to use dobin@keen.net.au if you have a story for RA.

On on

Mad Mike

Date: 1st January 2018…………………………
Location:Gracelands……………………………
Runners:59………………………………………….
Run Pictures……………………………………….

Well, this must be the GCH3 Gourmet Men’s run with all the differences you could imagine. There was no run last week as it was Christmas Day, so two weeks between runs. It was an early start at 3:00 pm. Partners and wives were invited. The Thirsty Thursday mixed Hash was included. Everyone was gathered beside the pool. Tables were set out between the house and the pool. Doc was setting up his music equipment. Food and salads were laid out on the table in the cabana. It had the makings of a really fun evening.

Two Dogs, who was by the pool, was getting impatient and with ten seconds to go before 3:15 he started calling for run instructions. The hare, Bent Banana, was already standing on the steps in front of his house. He said the run/walk would be fairly short, however, there was an obstacle. He called Two Dogs over to hold a pole, and once Two Dogs mastered holding it properly, Bent Banana demonstrated how to get around the obstacle. He suggested if anyone did not want to go around the obstacle, just to return home.

The run turned left out of the driveway to the end of the cul-de-sac, through a neighbour’s yard towards the new sports facility. We continued on the grass alongside the lake towards a chain link fence. Here was the obstacle. The fence continued about half a metre into the lake, and the pole BB was talking about was the end of the fence. If you didn’t want your shoes to get wet, you had to keep one foot at the edge, hold tightly to the pole and chain link and swing yourself around the pole, and get your other foot to the other edge without getting wet. Two Dogs was being the gentleman, and helping everyone around. The run continued west along Nerang Broadbeach Road towards the traffic lights at Lakeview Drive. Runners continued towards Nerang, walkers turned right for home.

Everyone brought their own grog, eskies everywhere. Fuller and Flasher brought their drones. Flasher’s drifted off uncontrollably by the tiniest gust of wind into trees next door. He ventured along the river bank to retrieve it. Later Fuller showed how a drone should be flown. There were dips on all the tables, the BBQ was fired up for the snags. People were still arriving. A few were in the pool. Doc got the music going. GM announced that the food was ready. Lots of chicken, lots of ham slices, and lots of different salads. Dessert was Pavlova.

A bit later, GM made a few announcements. He thanked the hosts Bent Banana and Banana Blender or Bender? Slip of the tongue. There were a couple of down downs to authenticate that it was still a hash run. The Bananas for hosting, and being the hare. Truckie, together with visitors from overseas. Caustic and Magician for mooning as they went past the RA. Flasher for losing his drone. No POW this week either. Phone Ranger, the GM of the Thursday hash said a few words, and thanked the GCH3 for a splendid event.

A storm was brewing, so everyone helped pack tables and chairs away in the trailer. Rubbish was taken away, and the cabana was cleaned up as much as possible.

Thanks to the Bananas for hosting another great event.

Remember to use dobin@keen.net.au if you have a story for RA.

On on

Mad Mike