Date: 17th July 2017………………………………..
Location: Robina…………………………………….
Runners:35……………………………………………..
Run Pictures…………………………………………….

Got to the car park next to the church nice and early. Plenty of car parking spaces, well lit, dry. I thought it was an ideal spot. No sooner I got there I saw this procession of cars leaving. I didn’t have a chance to speak to anyone, but Caustic was busy waving everyone away. Well, maybe a change of venue?

I followed the cars out onto the road, across the roundabout at Markeri, and stop on the side road just up from the roundabout. Mmmmm. Restricted parking, generator was brought out for lighting, the grass was wet. A table was set up on the grass in the corner of the park near the roundabout. There was a constant buzzing, I looked up and noticed we were directly under several 350,000 volt power lines. Hope we didn’t get radiation poisoning. The hare, Wrong Way, got up onto the slope, called for attention, and immediately blamed Botcho for not getting the instructions correct. He did a quick count, 35 or so, for food promising it would not be McDonalds. Ha.The run got off to a late start, and headed west along the footpaths parallel with Markeri, arrows seemed few and far between, but maybe I was not on trail. Hard to tell. Seemed like there were runners and walkers all over the place. Finally got back to the table after about 40 minutes. Good walk anyway.

Wrong Way, assisted by Weekly, got a large cardboard box onto the table and started handing out hash browns and a hamburger (looked very much like McDonalds), this was followed by a quarter pounder. Dessert was an apple (or similar) pie. Yes, McDonalds all the way.

GM called the circle, then he and Ice Man started fiddling with a mobile. This went on for a few minutes and the gang was getting restless. Anyway, a recording came on, by Morgan Freeman complimenting the new hierarchy, and amplified by the horn for all to hear.

GM called out the hare, who, for some reason started putting on a pair of boxing gloves. Maybe he was expecting trouble. Caustic reported that the run was predictable, long enough, but short on arrows. Blackie gave a nosh report said that hashers got 2 meals for the price of one, once when you ate it and second when you vomit it up. Then Blackie started sparring with Wrong Way, but the gloves were already put away. Wrong Way announced that the food was donated, no charge. Wrong Way and Weekly had a down down.

Returning runners were Wrong Way, Weekly, Ferrett, Wiki, Sweat Hog. Each had a down down.

RA started with the jokes, then called out Fanny for his smart remarks.

Caustic stepped forward to say that he had been on a long bike ride from Murwillumbah, when riding up Christine Ave, Brutus came up behind him and slapped him on the arse, and told Caustic to hurry up. Brutus got a down down.

RA gave a few more jokes.

Back to GM who called out Caustic for an update on Croc. Caustic said there was a small improvement; Croc was going into rehab, but still no visitors. Croc has a computer, so can receive emails. Hashers wished him well in recovery and rehab.

Prince advised that Miscarriage was having an operation. Prince also remaindered everyone about the Moonbeams memorial drinks at the Broadbeach Surf Club on Sunday between 2 and 7 pm.

VD came out to tell hashers that we probably will not be able to use the recent AGPU venue on Upton Street anymore as someone had plastered un-removable stickers everywhere with Flashers name on them. Apparently they are very difficult to remove, so hash has been banned from that venue, which is a great pity as it is ideal for our functions. So Flasher, if you read this, please stop the vandalism.

POW Sweat Hog called out Jigsaw, Caustic and Wrong Way as contenders. Wrong Way was the obvious choice for incorrect directions, car park, boxing gloves and food, but was given a down down in a mug. The long yard was still full, so Weekly got the down down for helping wrong Way.

Next weeks run at the Hinterland Park in Mudgeeraba hare is AH.

Brutus closed the circle, much to Blackie’s relief.

Remember to use [email protected] if you have a story for RA.

On on

Mad Mike

Date: 10th July 2017………………………………..
Location: Currumbin…………………………
Runners:29……………………………………………..
Run Pictures…………………………………………….

Traffic on the motorway towards Palm Beach was at a standstill going north and south, due to an accident at Reedy Creek. A bit of local knowledge and back roads got us to the venue about 6:00 pm. The trailer was already there and being prepared for the evening.

GM was not around to start the run, and hare was still preparing. Hashers were getting anxious, and you could hear the murmurs about getting started. Hare asked for another 10 minutes to finish setting up and hopefully GM would have arrived by then.

Time passed, and finally the hare was called up to give directions. Go over the bridge, go over another bridge, don’t take the first bridge, go to the second bridge to have a nice long walk/run. It didn’t make sense but once you did the trail, it all worked out well.

The trail started over the small bridge near the shelter and then over the new pedestrian bridge to the south side of the Currumbin Creek. Runners had a false trail west, walkers went east along side the creek. We went under the Thrower Drive bridge and continued alongside the creek, the under the Gold Coast Highway bridge. We crossed Duringan Street to walk up the on ramp and crossed the creek on the Gold Coast Highway. We circled back down to the walkway along the north side of the creek, and onto the board walk back towards the shelter. Good walk, probable around 45 minutes. The runners did a bigger loop down past elephant rock for a total 6.5 km run.

Visitor Sean commented on how well the walk was marked, and how scenic the boardwalk was.

Now Loved set up cups of creamy pumpkin soup, followed by chilli con carne, salad and an avo puree on a bed of flat bread, and topped with yogurt. This was followed by ice cream with a Tim Tam. Very tasty, thanks to the hare and KB for assisting.

GM called the circle to order, and immediately called the hare into the circle. Main criticism seemed to be too many bridges, but everyone enjoyed the run. Slug thought it was well set and arrows were very clear. It was Now Loved’s birthday and the birthday hymn was sung. He was given some sort of painting, all nicely wrapped. The hare was disappointed there was no food critique and wanted a nosh vote, he had made everything himself, cutting pumpkins, mashing avos. Eventually GM gave in and asked for a show of hands. Everyone put their hand up, good one Now Loved.

Returning runners were called up. Sir Slab was away on a long trip around Darwin and Broome. Elvis, Fuller and Hot Dick were other recipients and had a down down.

Irish Sean was called out as a visitor, being Mad Mike’s wife’s sister’s husband, probably not technically an in-law, more likely an out-law. He was actually at GC hash in 2002, last time he was here. He had a down down.

GM handed over to RA.

He pulled out all Kiwis present, Sir Slab and Botcho, for the NZ Rugby Lions tour draw.

Hot Dick was called out for calling Sir Rabbit Ferrett, Hot Dick denied, and there was some confusion. Both Rabbit and Hot Dick had a down down.

Irish Sean was called out again for showing disrespect to the RA and circle by going to a nearby tree and having a piss. Another down down.

After a few jokes RA handed back to the GM.

An update from Fanny for those wanting to go to Viet Nam for the cycle tour, he is going to Canberra and will take any visa applications for processing. Get the forms to him ASAP.

GM took off the jacket he was wearing and asked who left it at AGPU. Hard On claimed it.

POW Caustic was called out, and uncharacteristically was finding it difficult to find a contender for POW. Bent Banana, Truck Tyres and Sweat Hog were called out, but could not find a good reason. He was deciding to defer to next week, when Sweat Hog mumbled something about “who would want to have a drink with Caustic anyway” Bang, just what Caustic needed. Sweat Hog got the POW for POW abuse and disrespect.

Next weeks run to be set by Wrong Way, bring a chair.

Remember to use [email protected] if you have a story for RA.

On on

Mad Mike

Date:3rd July 2017………………………………..
Location: Chevron Island…………………………
Runners:31……………………………………………..
Run Pictures…………………………………………….

I should have known there could be trouble ahead when I stepped into the shiggy trap when I was walking towards the house on the dark side grassy area. I could feel the cold, muddy water seeping into my shoe, and splash the track suit leg. Oh shit! To make matters worse Slug called out, “so you found the hole also”. Looks like the trap caught a few people.

Good to see a decent number of hashers at the house on Chevron Island, did I say house? Should have said mansion. Truck Tyres skilfully backed the trailer into the car port, and at 6:15 prompt, GM called the hare, Shat, to give instructions. Seems like there were three choices, which seemed odd. Runners, walkers, and ???

Everyone set off anticlockwise around Chevron Island. Lights on the buildings in Surfers were spectacular. I joined a group of walkers. Nasty suggested a few short cuts, but we did see arrows, maybe Shat had the same idea when he set the run. After about twenty minutes on the home stretch, we saw the runners coming in, so although a bit on the short side, well set.

Hashers dived into the eskies for beer and wine, and Shat brought out what looked like mini quiches. Tasty. This was followed by pots and pots of pasta and mince. Some hashers were using the Arabic bread to make a wrap. Dessert was ice cream, fruit, whipped cream. KB and Hard On ably assisted Shat with serving up.

First down down went to Miscarriage for leaving his sweat shirt behind at the AGPU.

Missing Link for misleading a friend to the wrong venue at the Friday Splinter lunch.

Circumference stepped into the circle to berate the GM at last week’s run for pissing on fellow hashers at the end of the circle, while talking to them. GM was upset that this was recorded after the circle had closed. Nothing is sacred on hash!

Black Stump was called out for his 77^th birthday, and doing a spectacular spin off the track at the races in Warwick over the weekend. He did manage to get the Porsche back on track and complete the race.

The hare, Shat, was called out. Bent Banana gave a run report saying the run was short and fast. Everyone liked the food.A visitor from the Philippines hash, Two Rooms was called out for a down down. Seems like whenever they went on tour, although he should have been sharing, managed to always double book rooms.

Circle was handed over to the RA. After the opening joke, he called out the tourists, Shat, Price and Nasty stepped in with a few stories about the trip.

Fanny was called out for an altercation over the weekend. I didn’t catch what it was about.

Dicky Knee, KB and Circumference were called out and given the nosh of the year plate from the AGPU.

After a few more jokes, RA handed the circle back to the GM.

Sympathies were expressed for the passing of Croc’s wife, Sharon. Blackie gave a few words on Croc’s condition. Our thoughts are with him.

POW was Caustic, but as he was not present, deferred to next week.

Now Loved sets next week’s run from Palm Beach at a venue to be advised.

Blackie closed the circle. However, Miscarriage still had the last word. He called out Prince Valiant, KB and Fuller Shit for showing disrespect to hashers by having unruly long hair.

Remember to use [email protected] if you have a story for RA.

On on

Mad Mike

Date:26th June 2017………………………………..
Location: Emerald Lakes…………………………
Runners:25……………………………………………..
Run Pictures…………………………………………….

A block hole off the Nerang Broadbeach sprung into life , thankfully,
when Truck Tyres arrived and illuminated the venue with the trailer’s
light show. Ex-GM gave instructions about the arrow markings indicating
runners/walkers trails. It didn’t take long for all to realise they were
either coming or going but in opposite directions as there were arrows
on the same stretch of path going forwards and backwards. A rather
unusual way of marking runners/walkers trails together but effective as
you could choose between On On or No No, or a combination of both run
out / walk back that became an On No which Rug and Jigsaw had a go at
successfully.

Cold beverages were enjoyed by all while hoping the hare would return
with some nosh. Sure enough the hare emerged with his Two Pot Screamer
nosh. Pot 1 contained pea and ham soup and included some tangy mystery
ingredient which had most hashers screaming as to what it was. The
infamous blast from the past Second Pot emerged containing pasta and had
the hare screaming for all to eat up as there was plenty of it.

Next up to top off the carbo loading was apple strudel and custard. Miscarriage
showed how his observations/experiences in Cambodia had humbled him into
realising that those who have the least can make the most of it by
jamming all three courses into his small soup cup, regardless of the
combination of all 3 different tastes. So he had managed to have a
pea/ham soup, pasta, apple strudel and custard all in a cardboard cup for his nosh.

There maybe a start-up opportunity for him in cheap street food down the track
with no washing up of dishes required. Speaking of washing up dishes,
for those sophisticated hashers with their own plates, it came to the
attention of yours truly that you need to pull the sink out of the
trailer if you wash your dish in the sink or you will flood the trailer
as the water needs to drain externally with no internal
plumbing/drainage on the sink while it is in the trailer.

GM Blue Card gave instructions to clear the decks in readiness for the
circle . Fanny Charmer spoke of the 5.83 klm run (sprint) as having a
resemblance to modern banking, good but with few checks now being
sighted these days. So Fanny and few others had improvised and created a
few on the run for a breather. Slug’s critique of the walk noted a few
places where the hare was indecisive as to where the trail was going but
shit obviously happens when you are setting a trail which goes backwards
and forwards at the same time while going around in a circle touring the
castles that people call home around their Emerald Lakes moats.

The returning runners were next up and out came a bandana wearing
Swindler, Caustic Crusader, Sir Two Dogs and Now Loved who advised his
gift for the GM was still waiting a visa approval to get into Australia.
Fuller Shit dropped into the circle electronically via Sir Two Dog’s
smartphone from Darwin where it appeared he was up to his nuts in one of
the local customs of jug handling Darwin stubby size. The RA / RJ
(Resident Jester) opened his gig with a joke about an unlicensed fire
arm which showed some great research and patience in its delivery. It
was brought to the RA’s attention that Truck Tyres gave his moccasins a
bike ride in his cleats over the weekend but the conveyor of the
information got the down down instead, due to some BS hierarchy
exemption backfire on Fanny Charmer. Another mention for Fanny Charmer
regarding ignoring an e mail via Blue Card from a Slovenian wanting
legal advice on child care centre leases in Australia. Josephine gave an
expletive loaded note for the down down before stepping up after the
down down to announce that 5 cent coins are no longer legal tender in
the hash booze bucket. Could be an interesting next 11 months and maybe
a can of worms for the boozemasters with lots of travelling hashers
bringing back foreign currency coinage which will no doubt turn up from
time to time. First AWOL hash travellers will be Kwokka for 6 weeks and
Rug who will be absent for 6 months (will next see us at the Xmas
Party). Missing Link dodged getting a down down by playing a clever game
of chicken over ownership of a hash jacket with the RA during the circle
before finally reclaiming his spray jacket from lost property left at
the previous week’s run.

Current POW, Rug called out Caustic Crusader, Wrong Way (Woodsie) and
Circumference as his nominations but in an indecisive decision making
process chose the politically incorrect eeny/meany/ minee/ mo method
which just happened to include mentioning the N word but the decision
came out with it going to a white boy – Caustic Crusader. During the
evening he had made disparaging remarks about the arrows on the run
setting and it surfaced that he had borrowed a mobile telephone which
had stuffed up the chance of the GM getting a ride home from the Xmas
party as he was told by Uber that he was already on his way to Byron Bay
while still at the venue. An update on Crocodile ‘s health issues was
delivered by Caustic who will present him with a Get Well card signed by
GC hashers.

It was brought to the attention of the GM that Sir Rabbit had wandered
off to a borough and was seen to have his hand on his old fellow. Maybe
he was pissing or maybe he was doing something else but the whatever he
was up to the GM considered it was disrespectful to exit the circle, so
upon his return he got a down down.

Carefree got the circle closing role as a mark of respect to his long
time friend, former circle closer, Moonbeams.

STOP PRESS

As hashers departed, Sir Rabbit and Circumference got involved in a
conversation with the GM. During the course of the conversation, the GM
exposed himself and began pissing in front of us causing us to just walk
away to avoid the spray. Still pissing without taking breath, the GM
continued with his conversation expecting us to just stay there and
listen. We had exited to the car ASAP.There’s no point in bringing it up
again in the circle as the GM will use his exemption card to avoid any
recrimination. So a warning to just beware of this behaviour in case it
may happen to you in any future conversations with the GM (maybe a good
idea to wear your giveaway spray jacket).

A shattered Sir Rabbit couldn’t believe how he had just been charged
with the same offence by the same person yet by his ranking, he may
escape , MAYBE !, over to you POW.

Yours in hashing
CIRCUMFERENCE
(Still on secondment, going around for a second time, how do you get off
this merry-go-round ?)