Date: 23rd October 2017………………………….
Location: Burleigh Heads……………………….
Runners:22…………………………………………….
Run Pictures…………………………………………..

A new location for me, that’s what I like about the hash, you get to places that you would not normally go to. There was a thunderstorm in the morning and threats of more rain tonight. I felt a bit sorry for the hare, Fuck All, and hoped the run would not be washed out. The trailer was set up at the roadside near the picnic shelter at Wonga Park. With the possibility of imminent rain the large marquee was also set up on the footpath near the shelter. Tables and chairs were placed on the footpath under the marquee. We thought that numbers may have been down, as many hashers had travelled to Viet Nam, but no, there were about 20 here tonight.

The hare gave instructions and everyone (almost) set off north on Cowell Drive, left at the roundabout, then left at the next roundabout onto Wonga Street. Looks like the runners had a few false trails up the side roads. We continued down Wonga Street almost to the end, and then followed a footpath back into the park. We got about 50 metres into the park and saw that the footpath had become a pond. Water was streaming across the footpath and either side was boggy. We tried going left, then thought better of it and turned back. Earlier we noted that KB and Weekly took a short cut back to the shelter, so we headed back there also. Fortunately it didn’t rain, although most were prepared by wearing raincoats, however, I didn’t want to have cold wet feet that night. The walk ended up being a bit short at about half hour, but OK and well marked.

The hare was busy at the trailer stirring a big pot of a white creamy substance, and frying up what looked like metre-long sausages. Back at the shelter, each hasher had a little bag of dried beef jerky, a bit chewy, but nice flavours.  Hare called everyone to the trailer where he had cut the sausages and put them into sausage rolls. The pot of white goo was on the table, so thick and sticky that it was almost impossible to get it off the serving spoon and onto the plate. There was also gravy that was poured over everything. Once everyone struggled through the goo, they went back to the trailer for a dessert of slices of cake roll.

The GM called the circle and called out Weekly. Actually, he didn’t have to call him out. Everyone formed a circle and Weekly found himself left in the middle, obvious choice for the GM. Now Loved gave a note.

Hare was called in along with his helpers, Green Machine from Melbourne hash, Lady Linda from Indooroopilly and KB for helping with the food. I think Green Machine helped in setting the run. Carefree gave a note.

Returning runners were Now Loved who was sailing and fishing off Panama on a 60 metre catamaran, Carefree who was in Paris, and Rock Hard who had been going through a series of test following discovery of prostate cancer. He took the opportunity to say that his PSA was 92 and cancer had a Gleeson score of 9 out of 10. He said that he would be looking at alternative treatment, and that he would be following a special diet. Now Loved presented the GM with a painting of some fishing boats up on a beach. Miscarriage gave a note.

Carefree and Rock Hard were called back into the circle for wearing a hat during the last down downs. Rock Hard was let off, but Carefree got the drink. KB gave a note.

The RA stepped in, and after a couple of jokes asked if anyone had done the full run and had wet shoes, then changed his mind and asked for those that had turned back at the flooded path. Those on hierarchy were sent back leaving Circumference, Ball Point and Now Loved in the circle. Poxy gave a note.

Brewtus gave a joke about a painter.

Miscarriage had done some research and found that there was another hasher who was a distant relative, back to the Viking days. Botcho stepped forward. But wait, there is more, there is another hasher distantly related. Brewtus stepped in! Miscarriage said that Brewtus had just had a lobotomy and showed of a scar on Brewtus’ head.

POW was Brewtus and in the quickest appointment of a POW I have ever seen, stepped into the circle and gave it to Fuck All for setting a run that was too short.

Two Dogs stepped in to present Brewtus with another bottle of fine red wine to replace the broken one from last week.

GM called Ball Point to close the circle.

Remember to use [email protected] if you have a story for RA.

On on

Mad Mike

Date: 16th October 2017………………………….
Location: Southport……………………………….
Runners:24…………………………………………….
Run Pictures.………………………………………….

We get two-for-one on this run, a combined Oktoberfest and V8 Run. We were all gathered at the shelter at Pelican Beach near the boat ramp at the southern end of Sundale Bridge. Hare Two Dogs had set the trail but most of the marking got washed out in the persistent rains, but he explained the route in the pre-run direction instructions. He had the handicap list ready and started 5 walkers out first; I was in that first group. We started off on the walkway under Sundale Bridge then south between the Nerang River and the tram line towards Macintosh Island. A group of 5 runners ambled past us. At the Bottle “O” sign down the ramp near Atlantis East, and under the highway.

On the other side the trail split with runners continuing south and walkers going north into Macintosh Park, then east over the foot bridge towards Main Beach Parade. North towards Cable and Pacific Streets, then west along Breakers Street, over Waterways Drive to check in with the Chief Scrutineer. Everyone had a rain coat on and fortunately we only got the occasional drizzle.

Poxy was the chef tonight, and had German sausages and rolls ready as starters. A pot was on the BBQ keeping warn. It was a German goulash with more bread slices. This was followed by chocolate ice cream lolly. Very tasty, thanks Poxy.

GM called the circle, and called out Fanny. Didn’t hear why.

The hare and chef were called out next for a down down, note by Bent Banana.

Hot Dick was called out for getting lost and heading towards the Spit, wasn’t he a navigator? Slab gave a note.

Fanny was called out for looking for a girl, turns out it was KB looking for a girl for the tunnel run. KB got the down down. Note by Fanny.

While KB was in the circle, hash noted his clean, shiny black shoes. Not very hash. GM was standing on a bench, and showed of his not so flashy shoes and fell backwards onto the table. Take it easy GM, you are not supposed to exert yourself too much. KB got another down down, Prince gave a note.

RA stepped in, but was in desperate need of material. Had a few jokes.

Miscarriage stepped in and said how he had a good day with the council meetings. Prince said there was a whip-around and collected enough to but a large jar of Vaseline. Did that work, Miscarriage? Prince got the down down, note by Miscarriage.

Two Dogs got up on a bench and announced winners. Circumference was first walker and got some BBQ implements as his prize. Second placed runner was Slab, he got a small torch. First placed runner was Brewtus. He got a cap, bottle of fine red wine, T-shirt with his name already added to the list of previous winners and the challenge mug. There was a photo session with the winners, when GM stepped in to be included. He seemed to be getting very close to Brewtus, and seemed to be rubbing up hard against him. Brewtus was so shocked the fine bottle of wine slipped out of his hands and smashed on the ground.

After the broken glass was cleared up, GM stepped back in. He noticed Swollen Colon was trying to set off a damp fire cracker under the picnic bench. The fuse lit for a short period then fizzled out. Meantime, everyone had backed away. Swollen was called in for a down down, Missing Link gave a note.

POW (Prick of the Week) was Brengun, who recited a famous Wordsworth poem, then called Brewtus for POW for breaking the fine bottle of wine.

GM checked if there was any update on Rock Hard, Mad Mike said the consultation with surgeon was tomorrow, so no further update, we wish Rock Hard well.

GM also announced Sir Rabbit was supporting his wife in the care of her father, and may be missing hash for a short time.

Hard On, Fanny, Truck Tyres, Sir Slab, Missing Link and Sir Prince were called up for a photo shoot as departing bike riders to Viet Nam. They all had a down down, note by KB.

Josephine closed the circle.

Remember to use [email protected] if you have a story for RA.

On on

Mad Mike

Date: 9th October 2017………………………….
Location: molendinar………………………..
Runners:28…………………………………………….
Run Pictures.………………………………………….

We got to the treasure trove in Molendinar that houses some of Sweat Hog’s most prized possessions. A BMW 1200 bike, a 1000 Ducati, an old VW bug in various parts, chairs, tables, machines, welding equipment, etc. The hash trailer was also there, trying to get the lights sorted after the misadventure of last week.

 

“The run is set on chalk and paper” says the hare, and sets us off left out of his warehouse along Expansion Street, straight across the roundabout into Resources Court where we got to a false trail mark. We found the trail again on a track to the side of a building that led into a drainage easement back to Ashmore Road. We crossed Ashmore Road a bit further down with Ball Point calling On On into some bushes. Into Bicentennial Park and up an easement into Presbytery Lane. We saw Nasty coming towards us. He was doing the trail backwards??? Anyway he turned around and stayed with us along Bridle Lane, left into Macquarie Ave, then left into Watford Crescent. We entered Bicentennial Park again down a track back to Ashmore Road, then on home.

 

The tables and chairs were taken out of the trailer and set out in a straight line like a medieval long table. Bowls with biscuits, cheese and sausages were set out for nibbles. This was followed a bit later by corn and peas, boiled potatoes and chunks of chicken, followed by apple pie dessert.

 

GM called the circle, and brought the Hare out. No run report (I thought the walkers trail was well marked) and for the food report, someone thought the chicken was cut with a chainsaw. Shat gave a note.

 

Visitors were Brengun again, who was disappointed there was no lasagne this week, and Metro who was on his way south in a sailing boat. Slab gave a note.

 

Kwakka was brought out on 2 charges; one for not advising about the police van stopping as many hashers as it could last week, stopping VD and GM for a breathalyser. Secondly, missing next weeks hash as it was his 35^th anniversary. Shat gave a note.

 

Fullershit stepped forward with a pair of glasses that were left in his bag last week. On closer examination, the glasses were very colourful and pretty, they were not claimed, and Fullershit was told to rethink where else he could have been for a pair of very feminine glasses to be left in his bag. Explain that to your wife. I reckon those glasses would end up in a bin somewhere.

 

Kwakka stepped forward with more lost property from last week, an umbrella for Fanny and a rain jacket for Jigsaw.

 

Fanny was brought in again for revolting against Spain, and he angrily repeated that he was not from Catalan. He got a down down anyway. Note from HardOn along with a trumpet rendition from Metro.

 

Substitute RA, Botcho, called Fanny out again for posting too many photos of himself on his new white bike. Prince gave a note.

 

Ball Point came out with a long joke, Missing Link gave a note.

 

POW Ball point came back out and called, Fanny, Missing Link, Brengun, and Rabbit. Brengun picked up the POW, and drank the long glass.

 

GM announced that Rock Hard had been diagnosed with prostate. Mad Mike had spoken to Rock Hard the previous evening, and was advised that Rock Hard was going for a PET scan Tuesday. Our thoughts are with him.

 

Two Dogs announced the V8 run next week, and already there were protests on the handicapping. He is still accepting bribes.

 

Metro closed the circle with renditions of jazz and blues on his triplet.

 

Hash Cash is taking expressions of interest for the cocktail party 2^nd December for hashers and partners. Let him know if you are interested so he can arrange for food and drink quantities.

 

Hash Cash also taking expressions of interest in the car rally for the weekend of 17 March next year. More to come later in the year.

 

Remember to use [email protected] if you have a story for RA.

 

On on

Mad Mike

Date: 2nd October 2017………………………….
Location: Chevron Island………………………..
Runners:28…………………………………………….
Run Pictures…………………………………………..

This week’s run returns to the flat, much to the delight of Brengun, who threatened not to go on runs if they were as steep as the Miscarriage Heights run. On a drizzly 5:00 pm afternoon start from Kwakka’s house on Chevron Island the hash wandered up to Thomas Drive, then towards Surfers. Over the bridge, then left into Riverview Parade, onto Cypress Avenue then River Drive. We passed Shat’s old house, then bumped into Pizza doing the drink stop from the back of his ute. Well, that was it, got hold of a cold beer, and we stood around chatting for about 15 minutes. The drizzle increased a bit and we all decided to head back to the sanctuary of Kwakka’s house. Up to that point the trail was well marked with arrows. I don’t know how far the runners went.

 

Back at Kwakka’s house everyone grouped around in the double garage. The trailer was just outside, tables and chairs were brought in and placed beside the swimming pool. Kwakka brought out a tray with some mini meat pies and sausage rolls. This was followed by salad, lasagne and bread. Dessert was a nice tiramisu, (so I was told) very light and creamy.

 

The tables and chairs were put away in the trailer, and GM called the circle. He said he was glad to be back, still a bit tired but improving. At the Friday Splinter Hash he had showed off a long vertical scar down the middle of his chest. GM called out Miscarriage, last week’s hare, for leading Botcho and Ice Man away from Miscarriage Heights and to his house in Nerang. GM was surprised to hear ON ON being called and the three hashers asking GM to borrow his Uber card to get a ride back to the hash. I remember seeing these three hashers running down the hill, so the Uber driver must have dropped them off high in the bush. Miscarriage got another down down. He was joined by tonight’s hare, Kwakka, and his accumplice Shat. KB gave a note.

 

Shat, VD, Fanny and Jigsaw were brought out (can’t remember what for), FuckAll gave a note.

 

GM was getting a bit tired and handed over to Jigsaw. Nothing much was said until RA, Ice Man, took over with his usual joke.

 

Jigsaw was called up for being the only representative at the recent Sydney 50 year memorial events as being the only hasher to represent GC Gourmet Hash. Miscarriage gave him a note.

 

VD was called in for somehow breaking the trailer cable (he brought the trailer to Kwakka’s house).

 

Swollen Colon suggested there should be a set of instructions pasted to the underside of each table explaining how to fold the table legs. There were a number of volunteers trying to close the tables earlier, and having difficulty.

 

Miscarriage was called in for using his mobile phone during the hash.

 

Bent Banana called up Brewtus for not advising about the mobile speed camera set up on route to Brewtus’ house. BB got hit with a ticket going to the hash, and another going home, about $500 in fines. They both got a down down.

 

Brengun was wondering if this was the Lasagne hash, last week and this week.

 

Hard On was called in for not wearing a hash shirt.

 

RA finished with an Italian wife joke.

 

Brengun stepped in saying he was on Hierarchy on the Brisbane hash, and he is choir master, then proceeded to sing a song, line by line with hashers singing along.

 

Returning runners were Pizza, Swollen Colon, and Ferrett. VD gave a note.

 

Swollen gave GM three Birds of Paradise flowers he said he got from the Toowoomba Flower Festival.

 

Poxy gave a joke, the Pizza gave a joke.

 

Pizza was asked to close the circle before jokes got out of hand.

 

Remember to use [email protected] if you have a story for RA.

 

On on

Mad Mike

Date: 29th September 2017…………………….
Location: Costa O’doro Surfers Paradise
Hashers:32…………………………………………….
Run Pictures…………………………………………..

What more could one ask for? Great company, half priced menu, a few wines and eye candy!!

32 hashers attended todays lunch, it was great to see 3 Brisbane Hashes make the journey down to join us. Our Grand Master Blue Card even attended…what a man wining and dining just 2 weeks after open heart surgery, as they say “you can’t keep a good Hasher down”

The wine bottles were nearing empty and the call was what now. Never fear Pizza had it in control and the Limoncello arrived for birthday toasts. It was then on to Lansdowne Road for a few after lunch cleansing ales.

Another great Splinter Lunch day was had by all that attended.

On On till next month