Date: 11th December 2017……………………..
Location:Nerang……………………………………
Runners:36…………………………………………….
Run Pictures……………………………………….

Finding 29 Martin Street Nerang proved interesting. Cars were driving up and down looking for it. House number was partially hidden by trees. A small group was standing outside 27. Finally the side door was seen open, and sure enough, Fanny and Rug, plus a few others were inside. Chairs were placed around the meeting room near the wall, and around three tables set out L shaped. Pots were on the stove being gently stirred. Good number of hashers started drifting in.

Outside on the driveway, Fanny the hare called us together, and gave instructions. Magician ran in, after going to a nearby shopping centre and running around it four times. He said he had run all the way from Broadbeach. The hare pointed up the mountain. Did everyone feel the same as me? The dreaded Nerang Forest. I remember some time ago the runners ended up in Pacific Pines and had to get a taxi home.

Wasn’t that Mumbles run? Hare directed hashers to run on blue chalk arrows, then shredded paper, until it ran out, then toilet paper until it ran out. He said the checks were marked with red and white striped plastic tape, and the false trails were short. He said walkers could go up the dreaded hill as far as they wanted, then just turn back if they had enough. The group I was with decided to turn back after 20 minutes. Good walk.

Eskies were just outside the door, near a bin. Jiggy set up office at one end of the L shaped table collecting cash, Ice Man was at the other end of the L doling out new white Christmas shirts with logo embroidered. He was slowly getting a bit frantic as hashers appeared for their shirts but their name and shirt size were not on his list. Weekly was getting upset and moaning about being away for 4 weeks and being dropped off the register.

Eventually he got a size XLx3. Not sure if white is a good choice for Weekly, should have been burgundy red. Sure enough, Weekly spilt his wine glass, and wine half way across the table. Someone said to Weekly, “use your new shirt to wipe it up”

Fanny came out of the kitchen with a tray full of poly cups. Service, he said and started giving out mushroom soup, I went back for seconds. A Rug special. Next hashers were called in to line up for rice and beef curry dished out by KB. Visitor Russ, brought by Fanny, mentioned that Victoria does a wonderful curry. Next came Rug’s speciality dessert, a brioche and apple pudding with chocolate topping.

GM called the circle and pulled in hare Fanny and his assistant Rug. Rug certified there were no calories in the dessert. Aussie gave a run report and had to be interrupted after 5 minutes. Josephine gave a note.

Visitor was Russ who downed his drink expertly, Fanny gave a note.

Returning runners were Flasher, Ferrett, Phantom, Weekly, Brewtus and Aussie. Weekly gave the GM a small bar of soap and a pen, both from the Hilton. Magician gave a note.

Naming of new hashers. Allan now becomes Hal Al and Christian becomes Tooth Prick. Both had a down down. Link gave a note.

Bent Banana was called out to see if a white shirt, which looked like his, was found. Was it his? No, but Sweat Hog claimed it saying it belonged to Poxy. Sweat Hog had a down down, note by Josephine.

RA stepped in and ran off a few quick jokes. He then handed out special run caps to Sir Prince for doing 1650 runs, Hard On for doing 200 runs and Ice Man for doing 200 runs. They had a down down.

Ice Man announced the Christmas Run details, told everyone to get to Bruce Bishop car park at 5:00 pm. Wear the new white shirt and a Santa hat. Make sure to bring to Go-Card for tram. Cost was $25 for members and $50 for visitors and those who have not completed 10 runs , and expect Chrissie to help out.

 

Flasher was called out for usual short cutting. Two Dogs gave a note.

Magician told a story about parking at Bunnings and seeing this old man trying to pick up a huge bag of manure and putting it into the back of the car. Magician who was parked beside him, blow his horn loudly, and the poor old man dropped the huge bag of manure. Poor old man was Phantom, who took the goblet, but passed it to Magician for the down down. Phantom gave a note.

Ferrett announced the possible demise of hashes in Singapore as a hasher was caught laying a trail with flour and fined $1,000 Sir Prince said that someone was recently penalised with 12 months jail and 3 lashes.

 

GM came back in and called Swindler, Slug, VD, KB and Hard On into the circle, just for being on the 2015 hash committee and on the back of his t-shirt. Botcho gave a note.

POW Shat stepped in suitable clad, and called out five nominees.

1. Flasher for having the gall to return to hash
2. Magician for wandering around the shopping centre earlier.
3. Weekly for wine spill earlier
4. Hard On for having his wife wait all this time in the car outside waiting to take him home
5. Ferrett for his outlandish long socks

Magician got the POW by vote of the loudest voices. Shat gave a note.

GM announced that the regular Monday New Years Day run will be held a Bent Banana’s house. Families invited for a 3 pm start, short run at 4 pm. BYO drinks and hash will provide food, all for $10 per person, children free.

Botcho announced that the next Hash Lotto would start January 8, register with him

Blackie celebrated an outstanding win over the weekend coming first in the triathlon in 4 age groups.

Nasty called end of circle.

Remember to use [email protected] if you have a story for RA.

On on

Mad Mike

Date: 4th December 2017……………………..
Location:Chevron Island………………………..
Runners:31…………………………………………….
Run Pictures……………………………………….

Tonight we had confirmation that Swindler has a direct line to the Big Man above. The whole day it pissed down with rain (so of course the arrows would have been washed out!!) Cars were parked up and down the road outside his house, and hashers were gathered in his garage. Hash bags were neatly laid out at the back amongst the bicycles and boxes.

GM called the bunch to order and Swindler started by saying that the arrows were washed out. But, he had another plan. First he handed an envelope to Fanny, and told him not to open it until the pack got to the bridge over to Surfers. You could see Fanny desperately trying to restrain himself from opening the envelope. Two Dogs, Banana, Blackie also got envelopes.

Each had instructions not to open the envelope until the pack got to a certain point. I could see Two Dogs had to be restrained. Then the unholy. Swindler raised his hand, pointed towards Surfers, and at 6:15 exactly the rain instantly STOPPED. How? How? How?

I put on a coat anyway (I should have trusted him) and joined the walkers. Over the bridge towards Surfers. Left onto Riverview Parade, River Drive past Budds Beach and Shat’s old house, right along Birt Avenue, right again on Oak Avenue. Nasty continued along Birt Avenue towards the beach as he wanted a longer walk. On home for the rest of us. About a half hour walk.

Don’t know why Shat would leave such a beautiful setting. View from Budds Beach.

We got back to the garage, and everything had been moved onto the deck overlooking the river, except for a table with the left-over finger food from the Saturday night formal function. On the deck, a long table was set up for the nosh, and hashers were gathered around the eskies and overlooking the river.

KB was busy in the kitchen basting the huge roast pork leg, almost bigger that the pan. When it was ready he started carving, you could see he knew what he was doing. Seedy helped serve the salad, and Swindler dished out the potato bake. This was followed by a sponge cake with cream.

GM called the circle, and called in the hare Swindler, and Shat? Apparently Shat helped set the run. I didn’t hear any comments about the envelopes, so it must have worked. Nasty gave a note.

Returning runners were Nasty, Slug, Kwakka, Mickey, Banana, Ball Point. Seedy gave a note. Banana then presented the GM with a very spiritual necklace to protect him from volcanoes.

Visitor was Christian from Brazil, now his fourth visit, maybe due for a name if he stays. Swindler brought him, Kwakka gave a note.

Fanny and Mickey were brought out, and then the phone started ringing. Mickey scrambled to take the phone out of his back pocket, tried to turn it off and put it into his back pocket again. No sooner, it started ringing again. He couldn’t find the volume switch, new phone? Rang again, and again. This was becoming a joke. It rang eight times. Who would want him that urgently?

Circumference was called in for taking someone’s hat off during the down downs. He was doing the right thing, wasn’t he? He got a down down anyway. Ball Point gave a note.

RA stepped in and called Nasty out. After protesting, Nasty finally got into the circle, and was presented with the 400 run award embroidered cap.

RA gave a few jokes.

Sweat Hog called Swindler in for advising hashers to leave their hash bags in the garage with the door open, all our precious belongings could have walked! Prince gave a note.

GM stepped back in. It was announced that Caustic’s 52 year old sister had passed away over the weekend, cause not known yet. Hashers offered condolences.

Shat announced that Rock Hard was looking well, had lost 17 kgs, and was strictly following a diet. Hashers wished him speedy recovery.

Circumference, Ice Man and Jiggy were called in for becoming the impromptu hash choir.

Swindler announced good news about something to do with three years?? (My handwriting deteriorates as the night goes on).

Hard On was called in for no hat, he promptly took GM’s hat and had a down down. Now Loved gave a note.

POWs Two Dogs and Fanny stepped in. They each had three  nominations.

1. Hard On and Shat. Shat had left Hard On behind and had to go back for him.
2. Shat and Botcho for going to the Brisbane Friday lunch.
3. Blackie for stomping on envelope 3 during the run and making it almost impossible to see the route.
4. Kwakka for asking if Fanny would fill his wine glass at the formal saying the tide was running out although the glass was almost full.
5. Rug for being completed trashed on Saturday and having Gigie drive him home.
6. Shat for not wearing formal.

With three out of six, Shat was the obvious choice. He donned the gear, wanted to ram the GM up the backside, and had his down down.

Ice Man was called out for his birthday down down. KB gave a note.

Blackie called end of circle before he was asked. Recon he wanted to go home.

Remember to use [email protected] if you have a story for RA.

On on

Mad Mike

Date: 2nd December 2017……………………..
Location:Jigsaws Pad Benowa Water………
Attendees:49…………………………………………
Party Pictures……………………………………….

Date: 27th November 2017……………………..
Location:Coombabah……………………………..
Runners:25…………………………………………….
Run Pictures……………………………………….

The run was set this week in the Coombabah Lakes Conservation Area, nice and flat. Hashers converged at the shelter on Grassy Park on Hansford Road. Truckie drove in with the trailer spot on 6:15, just as the hare, Rug, was about to give instructions. Runners were set off across Hansford Road into Burrendong Road for a run through the streets. Once the runners were sent off, Rug lead the walkers west along Hansford Road. Seemed like there were more runners than walkers this evening. About half way down Hansford Road we started seeing arrows then we heard the runners coming behind us calling On On. Swollen was the first, and he slowed down to chat. We had heard some popping behind us and thought it was Swollen setting off firecrackers. But no, it was probably someone bursting balloons. Blackie was next and Swollen raced on ahead. The runners soon ran past us. Walkers continued on Hansford Road and on into Citie Road. Again the walkers diverged from the runners trail, and we went onto a grassy area behind some houses, trail was marked with shredded paper. Then onto a concrete foot path, then down to the creek. We walked on the boardwalk along the edge on the creek for about a kilometre, then through a housing area back to Hansford Road, then back to the Park. About half an hour, very pleasant walk.

Run Report 2092

 

The run was set this week in the Coombabah Lakes Conservation Area, nice and flat. Hashers converged at the shelter on Grassy Park on Hansford Road. Truckie drove in with the trailer spot on 6:15, just as the hare, Rug, was about to give instructions. Runners were set off across Hansford Road into Burrendong Road for a run through the streets.

Once the runners were sent off, Rug lead the walkers west along Hansford Road. Seemed like there were more runners than walkers this evening. About half way down Hansford Road we started seeing arrows then we heard the runners coming behind us calling On On. Swollen was the first, and he slowed down to chat. We had heard some popping behind us and thought it was Swollen setting off firecrackers. But no, it was probably someone bursting balloons. Blackie was next and Swollen raced on ahead. The runners soon ran past us.

Walkers continued on Hansford Road and on into Citie Road. Again the walkers diverged from the runners trail, and we went onto a grassy area behind some houses, trail was marked with shredded paper. Then onto a concrete foot path, then down to the creek. We walked on the boardwalk along the edge on the creek for about a kilometre, then through a housing area back to Hansford Road, then back to the Park. About half an hour, very pleasant walk.

The runners were still out when we got back to the shelter, they got back about half hour later, all said it was a good run, about 6 km.

Rug started setting up big pots on the BBQ area, and soon called out for starters which was a creamy ginger pumpkin soup. I noted hashers going up for seconds and thirds. This was followed by rice and beef curry, made by Fanny. Not too hot, but tasty. Ice cream and stewed pit fruit followed up for dessert.

GM called the circle, and pulled Rabbit, Fanny and Truckie in for being slow to form the circle and talking.

Returning runners were Blackie, Swollen, Missing Link, and Brengun. Jiggy gave a note.

Brengun was called back in for bad mouthing the Gold Coast Hash back at the Brisbane hash. Blackie gave a note.

GM called the hare Rug out, plus his accomplice Fanny. Blackie commented on the run saying too many mosquitoes and roos. Swindler commented on the walk. Truckie gave a note.

Visitors were James, brought by Magician, and Allan, brought by Jigsaw. Two Dogs gave a note.

GM asked Truckie if he had voted at the state elections on Saturday before going to Brunswick Heads for the hash weekend. Truckie said that he went to the polling booth early, but it did not open until 9:30, so he left. He said that organiser of the hash weekend, Two Dogs, did not inform hashers about the voting, nor that NSW was still on summer time. Two Dogs got the down down, Magician gave a note.

Hard On was asked to explain what happened after the Friday Splinter Hash lunch. He said he had been invited to Karawa Surf Club where he partook more food and wine (up to the plinth line), then went on to the Surfers Paradise Golf Club for more. He then got on the tram to head home, but fell asleep and ended up in Helensvale. Got back on the tram, and missed his stop. Shat gave a note.

RA came in and, while he was telling his joke, handed a photo around the circle of Hard On on his bicycle with a number of shopping bags hanging from the handle bars. It seems that while he was out shopping, he saw that the bottle shop was doing a deal on red wine. He bought two bottles, but on the way home was concerned that the bottles might drop and break, so he stopped in a park and drank one of the bottles. Continuing the bike ride, he was still concerned the other bottle might drop and break, so he stopped again to drink that bottle.

RA called out Fanny for doing 150 runs, and Blackie for doing 1150 runs. Each got a cap embroidered with name and number of runs. Blackie mentioned that that cap had cost him $22,000. Swollen gave a note.

Prince had spoken to Rock Hard and reported that, although he had lost weight, he was continuing with the alkaline diet and sticking with the alternative remedies. Hash wishes him well.

Prince also reported that Kwakka was still suffering from internal bleeding and was seeing a neurosurgeon. Hash wishes him well also.

Magician was called in for using his new Cyber Monday phone during the circle. Missing Link gave a note.

RA gave a joke about the bet to win a jar full of $50 notes.

Circumference dobbed in Swollen for chatting up an old lady in a zimmer frame. Swollen said she winked at him.

GM came back into the circle, and asked for a vote on having the New Years Day hash run at Swindlers farm or the park at Southport. Southport got the vote.

POW was Magician, but stepped into the circle without the gear. There were roars of protest, so he went to fetch the bag and don the gear. He called out Jigsaw for borrowing a kayak, but that was not good enough, so he was sent away. He then called out Two Dogs about borrowing a bike helmet, and Fanny for something about the LBG vote (???). Magician awarded a joint POW.

Botcho explained about having the password to protect the photo area of the website, and was amazed at how many emails and calls he got from hashes unable to access the photos.

Swindler closed the circle.

Remember to use [email protected] if you have a story for RA.

On on

Mad Mike

 

 

The runners were still out when we got back to the shelter, they got back about half hour later, all said it was a good run, about 6 km.

 

Rug started setting up big pots on the BBQ area, and soon called out for starters which was a creamy ginger pumpkin soup. I noted hashers going up for seconds and thirds. This was followed by rice and beef curry, made by Fanny. Not too hot, but tasty. Ice cream and stewed pit fruit followed up for dessert.

 

GM called the circle, and pulled Rabbit, Fanny and Truckie in for being slow to form the circle and talking.

 

Returning runners were Blackie, Swollen, Missing Link, and Brengun. Jiggy gave a note.

 

Brengun was called back in for bad mouthing the Gold Coast Hash back at the Brisbane hash. Blackie gave a note.

 

GM called the hare Rug out, plus his accomplice Fanny. Blackie commented on the run saying too many mosquitoes and roos. Swindler commented on the walk. Truckie gave a note.

 

Visitors were James, brought by Magician, and Allan, brought by Jigsaw. Two Dogs gave a note.

 

GM asked Truckie if he had voted at the state elections on Saturday before going to Brunswick Heads for the hash weekend. Truckie said that he went to the polling booth early, but it did not open until 9:30, so he left. He said that organiser of the hash weekend, Two Dogs, did not inform hashers about the voting, nor that NSW was still on summer time. Two Dogs got the down down, Magician gave a note.

 

Hard On was asked to explain what happened after the Friday Splinter Hash lunch. He said he had been invited to Karawa Surf Club where he partook more food and wine (up to the plinth line), then went on to the Surfers Paradise Golf Club for more. He then got on the tram to head home, but fell asleep and ended up in Helensvale. Got back on the tram, and missed his stop. Shat gave a note.

 

RA came in and, while he was telling his joke, handed a photo around the circle of Hard On on his bicycle with a number of shopping bags hanging from the handle bars. It seems that while he was out shopping, he saw that the bottle shop was doing a deal on red wine. He bought two bottles, but on the way home was concerned that the bottles might drop and break, so he stopped in a park and drank one of the bottles. Continuing the bike ride, he was still concerned the other bottle might drop and break, so he stopped again to drink that bottle.

 

RA called out Fanny for doing 150 runs, and Blackie for doing 1150 runs. Each got a cap embroidered with name and number of runs. Blackie mentioned that that cap had cost him $22,000. Swollen gave a note.

 

Prince had spoken to Rock Hard and reported that, although he had lost weight, he was continuing with the alkaline diet and sticking with the alternative remedies. Hash wishes him well.

 

Prince also reported that Kwakka was still suffering from internal bleeding and was seeing a neurosurgeon. Hash wishes him well also.

 

Magician was called in for using his new Cyber Monday phone during the circle. Missing Link gave a note.

 

RA gave a joke about the bet to win a jar full of $50 notes.

 

Circumference dobbed in Swollen for chatting up an old lady in a zimmer frame. Swollen said she winked at him.

 

GM came back into the circle, and asked for a vote on having the New Years Day hash run at Swindlers farm or the park at Southport. Southport got the vote.

 

POW was Magician, but stepped into the circle without the gear. There were roars of protest, so he went to fetch the bag and don the gear. He called out Jigsaw for borrowing a kayak, but that was not good enough, so he was sent away. He then called out Two Dogs about borrowing a bike helmet, and Fanny for something about the LBG vote (???). Magician awarded a joint POW.

 

Botcho explained about having the password to protect the photo area of the website, and was amazed at how many emails and calls he got from hashes unable to access the photos.

 

Swindler closed the circle.

 

Remember to use [email protected] if you have a story for RA.

 

On on

Mad Mike

Date: 24th November 2017…………………….
Location: Costa O’doro Surfers Paradise
Hashers:22…………………………………………….
Run Pictures…………………………………………..

. It was back to Costa O’doro again this month. This is becoming a habit. We are made so welcome here and the eye candy is pretty good.

Beers, fine wine, great food and even better company then it was On On to The Lansdowne Road Irish Tavern for few cleansing ales.

The tram station was the next stop on on home

Another great Splinter Lunch day was had by all that attended.

On On till next month.

Next Months Lunch…Ferrett, has organised the December lunch and has promised a top day at a new venue in the Chevron Renaissance shopping complex “El Patio de Cuba” on the 29th December for more fun, good food along with a little bit of new eye candy.