Date: 12th February  2018……………………..
Location:Varsity Lakes……………………………
Runners:32……………………………………………..
Run Pictures……………………………………………

Caustic had just moved into this area, would he know all the tracks and trails in the area? We would soon find out. He was wearing thongs, was that an indication that he would not be running, or that there was no bush. Hashers gathered at the shelter at the Frascott Park in Varsity Lakes. Truckie had brought a couple of tables, much to the relief of KB, and some chairs. KB promptly started setting up for the preparation of the meal.

Caustic called hashers around and described the markings for the walkers and runners trails, then set everyone off in a northerly direction along Yodelay Street, then almost immediately left into the drainage reserve between the houses bringing us out onto Tracey Crescent, then north on Tracey Crescent almost to the end, then left into a small road leading to Reedy Creek. Left along the bank of the creek southwards behind the houses.  We got to the drain again where it emptied into Reedy Creek. We saw the chalk arrows indicating the trail was on the black water main. Mmmmmm.

Weekly and Fuller decided to try this crossing. Blue Card and I decided not to cross here but make our way back to Tracey Crescent then down the other side to rejoin the trail. We also didn’t want to see either Weekly or Fuller take a tumble into the creek. The trail continued along the bank of Reedy Creek, then into a bit of bush, before heading back into the streets.

Trail continued on the streets back to Caustic’s new home for the drinks stop. By the time GM and I got there, some of the hashers were already in the pool and having a refreshing beer. There were calls to make this the new APGU venue, with notions of frolicking on the carpet in the living room, with hashers watching through the large picture window. The trail back to the shelter was short. Did we pass Brewtus’ house? Are they now close neighbours?

KB was in his element, producing the gourmet of gourmet meals. Starter, consisted a ceviche with wahoo lemon set in a lettuce leaf, main was sliced ham and salad, followed by a tiramisu birthday cake for Caustic. All carefully crafted by KB, well done.

GM called Caustic and KB out, and gave Caustic an empty beer bottle with a prick shaped lolly to suck. He asked Caustic about the new shoes (thongs), but couldn’t have a drink out of them. GM noted that this was a new area for Brewtus also. Weekly enjoyed the walk, not sure about the water pipe, especially when he heard that Brewtus had wet the pipe to make it slippery. Brewtus joined the others with a down down. Weekly gave a note.

Returning runners were Phantom and Fuller, who were joined by Visitor Chicky Bay from Gladstone. Prince gave a note.

RA stepped in with a repeated joke, and was usurped by Circumference, Sweat Hog and Poxy with their jokes.

Back to the GM who called the POW, Bent Banana.

He nominated Caustic, Ball Point, Weekly, Phantom and Brewtus.

Brewtus got it for not calling ON ON on the run when he found trail.

Brewtus copped another down down for spilling paint in the back of his ute, and the roads halfway up to Brisbane.

Miscarriage called in Sweat Hog for looking like Barnaby Joyce.

Shat made Weekly happy by announcing that the Golf Trophy had been located in Brisbane.

Hard On called end of circle.

Remember to use [email protected] if you have a story for RA, and register for the Rally on 17 March, maybe an Irish Theme?

On on

Mad Mike

Date: 5th February  2018…………………………
Location:Nerang……………………………………
Runners:30…………………………………………….
Run Pictures……………………………………….

Was Nerang Forest going to live up to its reputation and claim some hashers? What stories would emerge after this run? The mountain looked down on us huddled in the shelter at Tom Rose Park Nerang beckoning us into the forest. Ball Point set hashers off into the bush. I offered to stay and help, but was quickly shown the trail. Truckie and I scrambled along the concrete drain at the edge of the houses, then turned up into the track up the mountain. We saw the runners trail to the right, but kept left on the walkers trail up the track. We had lots to talk about the setting of the Rally route on March 17. We followed the trail, which kept climbing. After about 30 minutes at a junction in the tracks, we saw the runners emerging from another track. They seemed lost, and they were checking everywhere. A group of us decided to return down the same track we had just climbed. Sweat Hog was ahead and checked every possibility for the trail back home. We knew the shelter was just south of us, and it was getting dark. Finally Sweat Hog found the trail, actually not far from the junction where the walkers and runners parted. It was not easy to spot. The on-home trail zigged and zagged through the forest, then we could hear voices back at the shelter. Not everyone was back yet. We had been out over an hour, but the last hashes returned half an hour later.

Ball Point had a platter with biscuit and sliced BBQed sausages. He was busy stirring a huge pot. He later called hashers to line up and served chicken cacciatore with mushrooms, baked potato and slices of French loaf. Dessert followed, orange cake topped with chocolate and cream ganache.

GM called the circle. Ball Point strode into the middle. Sir Two Dogs gave a scathing report saying that without modern technology, they would not be able to get back. Sweat Hog commented on his frustration at not finding trail. He said the walkers did more than the runners. Shat commented on the meal. STD gave a note.

Ball Point came back into the circle for his birthday drink, note by Miscarriage.

Visiting hasher was WeeWe from Mackay Hash, HalAl gave a note.

Fanny was brought in for wearing fancy new pink shoes, and had his down down from one of them.

GM called Shat and asked if he was Peter Foster, and if he was up to his old tricks selling slimming tea. Weekly gave a note.

Now Loved claimed a lost plate.

Fanny was called in to explain how Chrissie broke three ribs trying to pole dance on the tram, however, it was not him that walked Chrissie home, it was KB.

There was some talk about fingers in pussies, when Poxy exclaimed “2 in the pink and one in the stink”

Stand-in RA was Missing Link. He had no charges, but had a couple of jokes.

GM called POW Miscarriage into the circle. He called out:-

• FuckAll for knocking over his beer
• Ball Point for the trail fuck up
• Not mentioning any name, a hasher who offered to take him back to Miami to collect his bike
• Bent Banana for extending the Theme Park protest meeting to the late hours.

Bent Banana got the POW.

Weekly begged for the return of the golf trophy which had disappeared after the Friday lunch.

Hard On was thanked for sweeping horse shit out of the shelter, maybe a new committee job?

Miscarriage announced the memorial lunch on Sunday for Show Pony and Moonbeams, be there by 1:00 pm

Brewtus called end of circle.

Remember to use [email protected] if you have a story for RA, and register for the Rally on 17 March, maybe an Irish Theme?

On on

Mad Mike

Date: February 2 2018………………………….

Location:Botcho’s Golf Club………………….

Hashers:44…………………………………………..

Run Pictures.

Date: 29th January 2018…………………………
Location:Robina……………………………………
Runners:29…………………………………………….
Run Pictures……………………………………….

Another Sirs Run

It showered , but it did not rain. The 1st Sir , Sir Slab reset his trail on his bike OR did he ?  The 2nd Sir unpacked a truck load of pots , pans , woks and stuff from his 4wd. The crowd gathered under the roof of the Cheltenham Cricket Club and waited patiently for orders.

SS waved the flag after mumbling something about 6ks or was it 3 ks but who gives a damn , anyway the pack took off leaving the 2nd Sir to set up his chinese kitchen ably assisted by several non Runners , you know the usual suspects ….Dicky , Hard On , Blue Card .  Botcho and Ballpoint were also seen to be lazing about as well , seems Botch was injured or worn out or something and the other bloke did’nt offer an excuse

Yours truly was a bit delayed with trying to fill the water tank of the trailer so we could have some wash up liquid after the meal …. Truckie ???? Anyways I got going and lost the trail before I went 100 metres.. so be it , I persevered and eventually found Caustic and Shat who redirected me back home. Due to my lack of knowledge I cannot give you any comments on the rest of the run.

Back at the ranch the cook had donned his chinkie hat and was sweating it out cooking the main course while Hard On was over cooking the entree…burnt Dim Sims and wee Spring Rolls were soon devoured by the hungry pack.

29 paid up and settled in for the main course of Beef stew cooked with soy sauce and other ingredients to make it taste chinese … the mango tossed in at the last minute actually gave it a good look and disguised it so it came out as … weefnchowmeennmango and rice a famous dish from Whoflungdungs Peking Cookery book…nice touch Sir PV,,,always a good meal from the master of the Wok.  Sweets was his usual Flied Blannanas , also very popular with Queenslanders….

The circle was a blur it went so fast , no really I nearly fell asleep as it went way on beyond my bedtime. Bluey raved on a bit and gave a few miscreants a down down , welcomed a returning runner or two , invited Miscarriage into the circle , that,s always a mistake, handed the reins over to the RA who told a couple of jokes , several people got the punchline on one of them.. eventually Bluey got the circle back and gave Botcho the floor to give out the POTW . He had no idea what to do with it so gave it to Miscarriage because he is the most popular boy in town , no seriously it was a democratic vote that got him the award .

The circle was closed down by Ballpoint who is next weeks hare  it’s somewhere in Nerangatang country I believe. Check the web site eh..

On On for ever

Ferrett …………… soon to be Sir Ferrett…..

Commonwealth Games Hash Event…Details

Date: 22nd January 2018…………………………
Location:Burleigh……………………………………
Runners:34…………………………………………….
Run Pictures……………………………………….

Run 2099 Hare (s) Magician (Thong Muncher)

34 runners/walkers.

In the absence of our erstwhile Grand Master, Miscarriage was deputised for the occasion and immediately adopted a persona reminiscent of a certain German Fürher. A milling, uncertain, rabble rapidly became a coherent, decisive band of dedicated hashmen as soon as “On On” was called.

THE RUN

Afterwards, as we puffed and panted over a cooling libation, Iceman informed me that we had covered about 4.6Km. That seemed about right for this run around the very pleasant and fragrant Elanora Wastewater Treatment Plant. Reminded me of my days in Hong Kong and runs along various stormwater nullas that had a similar aroma. Just follow your nose, the hare had instructed. Trump had clearly been informed of the area when referring to Shitholes.

After the treatment works were left from our behinds, the runners jogged south beside the Pacific motorway only to cross it at Nineteenth Avenue and jog north on the other side. Obviously three crossing weren’t enough, so the trail then went back under the motorway twice more before we were “on home”.

All in all it was a quite well marked trail and any chance of getting lost was negated by Magician pointing out the correct direction as soon as it looked like the pack might take a wrong trail.

Except of course Bent Banana and Swollen Colon, who took off the wrong way after the first check and went out on the home trail. When they met up with the runners, they immediately turned around and took the quickest short-cut home.

THE BUCKET

Back at the bucket, Sir Prince was relating a story about a painter with a broken arm doing renovations at Barry Sheen’s house. It transpired that the accident happened when he walked off the second level scaffolding while ogling Mrs Barry, wearing hot pants, bending over in the garden.

THE NOSH

Having failed to get the generator up and running, Truckie’s hangman talents came to the fore as he set about organising a rope over a tree branch to hoist up Sir Slab’s light. Once the illumination was sorted, we could see what the hares had on offer for the grub but was that a good thing?

As it turned out, the two-minute noodles, with a choice of medium or spicy chicken casserole proved to be a hit with assembled diners. That said, I don’t think the guest hare throwing on the greenery to disguise it as a healthy repast fooled anyone.

Although I didn’t partake of the desert, it was described to me as “quite nice, for a Lemon turd in a tart”.

THE CIRCLE

Down Downs went to:

• Sir Two Dogs for suggesting that “A quick Circle is a good Circle”. Miscarriage obviously took it personally.
• The two hares, Magician and guest, Thong Puncher. STD gave the note.
• KB for being late to the gathering. He also praised the nosh declaring it “Worthy of a runner up”. To what? Jigsaw did the honours with a note.
• The night’s visitors were next, Thong Muncher from Saigon via Sheffield and Dragon and Savaan from Cambodia. One of the Cambodian lads was driving Miscarriage home the previous evening and went around a round a bout the wrong way – twice.
• Sir Black Stump for falling down, again and for setting some sort of record for the number of hospitals visited. Prince provided the note.
• Shat and Sweat Hog for their birthdays.

The RA entered the circle and, his jokes can be paraphrased as:

Tom Jones, “not unusually”, covered in ice cream and sprinkles, “topping” himself for telling “sheer” madness stories about Victoria’s Secret needing an “iron”.

Hats were handed out to Now Loved (500 runs), Truck Tyres (250 runs) and Rug (500 runs)

Notice of Show Pony’s one-year anniversary remembrance is to be published in the Hash News

The POW caused much confusion. Swindler’s stand-in, Magician with only half the kit, gave it to Botcho for reasons unknown. I wonder who Botcho will give it to next.

Black Stump finalised the evening with a very enfeebled “End of Circle”