Author Archives: Botcho

Run 2160…Magician

Date: 25th March 2019………………………….
Location: Varsity Lakes …………………………
Runners:30…………………………………………….

Run Pictures

Arriving at the park, runners were placing their gear on the tables while Truckie with Magician’s help, were hanging up LED lights. Truckie has a slight height problem getting elevated to hang the LED string lights across the roof timbers. Along came Magician and with his tall frame and with the aid of short ladder, positioned the lights high up under the roof. Switching them on,  there was light for kilometres around.

The run and walk went around the local lake and runners found it was a comfortable run on a well  chalked arrows on  the pavements.The evening was rather hot and humid and most runners were eager to kiss a bottle of beer supplied by our booze master on their return.

After downing an ale or two the runners were offered tomato soup in a cup with whole grain wheat bread and butter.

The main course of the evening was pasta shells toped up with rich beef mince with a good helping of fresh salads. The desert was sliced peach with generous dollops of yoghurt.

We could not, but hear the clatter of falling eating utensils connecting with the cold concrete floor. Yes. It was Truckie trying to dig out several knife and folks from his bag which he seemed to have collect over several months. If a runner has a missing  fork of knife, ask Trucky for one. He has many in his hash bag.

8.10 pm. Circle opened by GM Weekly, AKA Winston Churchill.

Visitors and returning runners.   Sir Slab took a down down in the circle.

He also presents our GM with a Travel Bag, one similar to first class Virgin flights. Several items were shown and the sexual instructions were read out aloud on the particular use of these items. In short this was a travellers  sex aid box.

Hare report.   This was a good run on a warm evening, it was well marked and all runners returned safe and sound. Two Dogs and Magician while in the circle also agreed it was a well marked run  around the suburb and had a few good looking Shelias walking around.

Walk report.  The GM asks that these reports be a bit more serious as the report is the basis on which end of year rewards be given to hash-men.

Slug gave the food report. He enjoyed the spicy tomato soup and all was good.

POW.  Magician enters the circle. He mentions he had a lot on his mind and had forgotten to bring the trophy.

Caustic mentions how Bent Banana mis-read his speed and was travelling X?km in a X?km km zone.  Well, not for long any way. He was stoped. Blah, blah.

Charge from the floor. A story was told about Blue Card who weekly meet up for a bicycle ride with riding mates. He quickly parks his car, rushes to open the boot to remove his bike. With complete disbelief his bicycle is missing. No it was not stolen, in the rush he forgot to pack it into his  car boot. How cruel can mates be?!!  Truckie instructed the down down.

There was a complaint from KB as Magician, the soup cook, pours a ladle of soup in KB’s wine glass that still had red wine in it. There is no satisfying every one.

Sweat Hog gives a story about an army Captain who meet a strange and small looking man on his travels in Africa. It is believed that he looked strange as he told the much feared witch doctor to make a sexual departure. Sir Circumference did the down down.

S-Bends was found guilty trying to sell hash property. This was a huge Ice Box. Proceeds will be going on the Jazz function.   Truckie was instructed to give the the down down for S-Bends actions.

Birthday Boy.  This was Pepe Le Pew. He was absent but in true hash-man spirt he supplied a slab of birthday beers for his mates. This was well received and a photo of the empty container will be forwarded to him in appreciation. Many thanks from all runners and walkers.

GM reminds all present to return past trophies to enable them to be engraved.

GM Weekly beckons FA, the ON On Sec into the circle and to kneel down. GM advised that a hash name is to be changed to a new one.  After  the Knighting, the named  now is  “Square Root”.   A down down followed for the occasion. Every one knows that the Sq Root of five eights is. Just think about this. The clue is in this sentence.!!!

Sir Botcho reminds all hash-men about the pending lunch in Brisbane. This will be a fun day with mates and a cold beer or two.

Splinter lunch on Friday 29th March at Sardjions Italian Restaurant. Surfers. Meet about 11.30am.

Next weeks run.  Miscarriage will mark this run.

Saturday 30th March is the Speak Easy function at Main Beach. It starts at 5.30pm.

Quote of the week by Winstone Churchill.     “Socialism is philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent viture is the equal sharing of misery.”

8.45pm.   Circle closed by Foxtrot and Square Root.

Please phone one absent mate. Are you OK mate?

On On Sec.    Square Root.      (  AKA,  FA)

GCH3 Magical Mystery Tour

Date: 15-17th March 2019……………………
Location: Boonah ………………………………..
Hashers:28…………………………………………..

car rally -4car rally-1car rally-2car rally-3car rally-5Route notes were handed back last night to those that were there, I will keep the notes for the others until I see them next.
Thanks for the words, and glad it was enjoyed by all.
These are the placings.
Placings Wrong answers
1 Dr Death/Double Trouble 4 Creek
2 Magician/Metal Dildo 5 Creek
3 Brengun/Jan 6.5 Ridge
4 Two Dogs/Jane 7 Creek
5 Kwakka/Sylvana 7.5 Ridge
6 Sweat Hog/Piglet 8 Creek
7 Now Loved/Circumference 8 Ridge
8 Caustic/Tracy 11 Creek
9 Rug/Gigie 11.5 Ridge
10 Weekly/Carefree 12 Ridge
11 Fuller/Li 16.5 Ridge
12 Rock Hard/Iceman 20.5 Creek
DNF DS-Bends/Jan Ridge
DNF F-All/Paula Ridge
There was a total of 141 questions for each participant to complete, so well done to those that got so many, including those tricky ones. The ridge road and creek road each had 25 questions.
On on
Mad Mike

Run 2159…Sweat Hog & Poxy

Date: 18th March 2019………………………….
Location: Main Beach ……………………………
Runners:38…………………………………………….

Run Pictures  snakes st pats image

This night looked like the heavens will open up and pour rain. But it turned out fine for the night.

Our booze master gave the normal run down on the price of beer and wines. Remember do not crush your tin cans.

Then it was off to do the run or walk. For some it was a breeze as a tram ride took them to Waxy’s for a free cold pint, of any favorite beer. To add to our pleasure a free green Irish hat and a black peak cap was given out to all.  We looked like drunken Irishmen in green top hats.

During the consumption of our favourite ale we all enquired where Ice Man was. We were informed that as he did not know that we were all upstairs, and that he had missed his mates and had returned. He missed out on a really good coldie.

Then it was off again to the meeting place of our circle and the Irish stew. Another talkative tram ride back for most runners.

On arriving back we were pleased to indulge in the evening nosh of hot Irish stew and plenty of bread rolls and butter. This was followed by ice cream on a stick. For those that were extra hungry, they could have second helpings from the bottom of the hot pot. This had an extra tangy and smoked taste.

8.20pm.   The GM opens the circle as the hero of Winston Churchill ,complete with his bell on the walking stick.

Returning runners and Walkers.    These were Aussie, whom returned from overseas, Dion from the Maryborough area, and Eddie from Asia. A down down was directed  for them.

Ice Man explained how he did not manage to join all the other runners at Waxy’s. Together with Seat Hog and Proxy, they were down downed.

 

RA report.    The weekend car rally in the Scenic Rim was greatly praised, and all who took part appreciated all the efforts and work to achieve this function. A great credit to Mad Mike and Truckie. S- Bends mentions how much fun it was and adds that a happy wife makes a happy life.  A very well deserved down down was ordered for these very great hash men. Congratulation’s go to the three top finalists.  Dr Death/ Double Trouble, Magician/ Dildo and Bren Gun/ Jan.  Well done.

Charge from the floor.    Aussie, while in Waxy’s Irish bar tries to locate his wallet. He mistakes another and looks for a few bank notes. With astonishment his wallet is comlpely empty. He soon realizes that this particular wallet belongs to Truckie. With relief Aussie finds his own wallet with oodles of cash. That was a close call.

Next victim was Proxy, the nights hare. He forgot to order Irish beer.  A down down was in order for these hash men.

Mad Mike gave the car rally summary and results. Results will be posted on the web. The runners appreciated his efforts and applause was freely given.

Proxy told a joke where an elephant’s trunk was transplanted and what havoc it caused.

Rug explained about drinking larger that makes things go limp, where as Guinness beer made things larger and harder.

Aussie asked Proxy to explain why he had changed his residence to another area.

The RA informed that we humans are the only animals that stutter in our speech. Little Jonny at school thought different when a Bull Terrier attacked his cat.

There was another joke about Irish high-rise workers who vowed to throw them self’s off the building in protest about their tasteless sandwiches that their wives made. They went over the edge including the Irishman who made his own lunch.

There will always be a runner who wants to try out his new running shoes hashing. Well, the GM noticed Pepe Le Pew. Off came one of his shoes and it was filled with a light brown liquid that he drank very quickly to avoid passing out. He is lucky as his left behind shirt from last week, was returned fully washed and pressed by Mrs. Weekly. Now that’s service.

The circle did not forget Kwakka’s birthday. He was thanked for his gift of the evening’s beer. And in return a birthday chorus was cheerfully song for him.

There is a hierarchy meeting Wednesday 20th March 2019 at 9.30am at Main Beach Surf Club.

G M Weekly Churchill quotes.

  1. “We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give”.
  2. “If you’re going through hell, keep going.”
  3. “You have enemies? Good. That means you’re stood up for something, some time in your life.”

 

9.50pm.   Circle closed.

 

Please phone those absent friends.  Are you OK mate?

 

On On Sec.   FA.

Run 2158…Sweat Hog

Date: 11th March 2019………………………….
Location: Ashmore ……………………………….
Runners:41…………………………………………….

Run Pictures

The number 41 took a significant role at this run. There were 41 hashers in attendance and during the morning, the hares core body temperature would have been in the vicinity of 41 as he lived up to his name by becoming a real Sweat Hog as he toughed it out setting the run/walk in the oppressive heat on this hot Monday.
Truckie had the venue set up early and the pack set off together before the walkers went north and the runners east towards Crestwood. The run proceeded along a pretty rough patch of vegetation surrounded by a barb wire fence well sprayed in graffiti.
Iceman decided to get rid of some body fluids under a tree and after feeling revitalised, he sprinted back onto the track and cheered on by Sir Prince Valiant he was absolutely flying until he went down like a stunned mullet as he went arse over turkey on a low stump/ root configuration where he lost a bit of bark off his arm.
Swollen Colon in the unusual role of tail end Charlie at the back of the pack told Rug and myself that he had some good inside oil from the hare that the trail went left down Olsen Avenue towards the GC University near Bunnings despite the well marked check showing the trail went right.
So that was end of Swollen Colon for the night until he emerged back at the venue. Meanwhile the pack crossed the road, continued past the Catholic Church precinct and a tour of the back streets of Ashmore before heading for home.
Cheese and crackers and birthday beers from KB, approaching the big 70, were available as the first course before spaghetti bolognaise and a massive KB home made rum and cherry flavoured gateaux cake topped off with ice-cream was served as dessert. The well iced beers were a gluten free Hahn Crisp and everybody enjoyed the taste of these new type of beers.
When the GM talks everybody either listens or talks over him , but sooner a later the circle is ready to go. First up were the returners and visitors with Kwakka and Shat back from NZ, Magician from his Africa/Europe committee sanctioned junket, Two Streets from Melbourne and Pizza who had popped out to get some milk/bread and just happened to have a boot full of hash haberdashery to give away as well and some smuggled in wine for his consumption..
Shat gave a the GM a small white volcanic pebble he had smuggled in past Border Security of both NZ and Aust and the Magician presented an Elon Musk produced by-product space blanket as a present. KB enjoyed the walk with assistance from his GPS and Iceman, despite his tumble enjoyed the well marked run. Sir Ferret who a few lashings of the spaghetti nosh declared it to be very good.
The RA told a joke about statues and pigeon shitting before calling for charges and Swollen Colon attempted to get back at the hare for misinformation about the direction of the trail but it backfired on him as Sweat Hog insisted he told him it was right turn at the Bunnings check. The GM advised he had a good time at The Eagles concert where he wore his Hash Comm Games shirt which aroused the interest of some Eagles groupies.
Caustic Crusader keen to offload the POW settled on Magician for various reasons. Firstly for trying to flog off a freebie gas shower on E Bay he had got off Blue Card then for his jet setting lifestyle while regularly absent from his hash committee role during the year. Magician claims that the sanctioned gig he had been on involved partying with the battlers in St  Moritz while getting some ideas for entertainment for the upcoming AGPU.
Throw in some experimentation by the Magician involving testing the G spot of his pussy, it was a bit hard for anyone else to get close to his wrap sheet.
Sir Prince Valiant told of the passing of hasher by the name of Terry Cuskelly who seemed to have the unusual reverse Midas touch of turning real estate into cash and then into alcohol consumption. A few hashers reluctant to come into the circle to claim their left over property were soon discovered and out came Pepi and Arsenic for a down down.
Next Monday (18th) is the St Patrick’s Day themed run starting near the Sundale Bridge boat ramp. Don’t forget to bring your Go Card for travel between destinations and some spare cash.There is vacancy for a hare on 25 March due to Elvis going on tour again.
Due to ongoing issues with Brexit, there were no ex British PM Churchill quotes. Times have certainly changed since the Poms and Krauts were bombing each other but there is obviously still a bit of bad shit going on between them in modern times.
Fox Trot was invited to close the circle to bring the evenings proceedings to an end.
On On
CIRCUMFERENCE

Run 2157…Caustic Crusader

Date: 4th March2019……………………………
Location: Elanora …………………………………
Runners:35…………………………………………….

Run Pictures

Much to KB’s delight, the hare, Caustic Crusader, chose a venue deep in KB’s postcode for this birthday event. Once all of the trailers contents had been emptied into the shelter , the hare’s and booze masters instructions were given and runners/walkers set off knowing they were probably in for a tough slog around the local terrain.
It didn’t take long till the first hill was encountered but after that it was pretty well plain sailing, a surprise relief to all. The hare had been very kind with a reasonable distance and time of both well marked trails. Sir Prince Valiant, another hasher celebrating his 70th birthday, produced a large esky chocker full of cold iced down Crownies.
These were going off like stripper’s knickers especially at the cheap gold coin donation price.
Caustic and KB commenced serving the tasty nosh and some of the regular front of the queue starters missed the jump as they were so engrossed in enjoying the cold Crownies.
All agreed it was nice and spicy curry and many lined up for seconds.  Just to cool things down chocolate cake and ice-cream were next up for dessert. At the decree of the GM, the tables and chairs were relocated back to the trailer in readiness for the circle. In accordance with the GM’s protocol/agenda all returning runners and visitors were called into the circle.
Arse Up (now in WA), Bunker wearing his NSW Cockroach shorts and visiting the GC for the hare’s birthday, Carefree(Sydney) and Sir Slab /Sir Two Dogs (NZ) all received a down down. The latter pair presented at a great expense a postcard from NZ/s 90 Mile Beach to the GM. Caustic as hare was next in and arrived to receive rave reviews about everything he had been involved with. However as he dropped a disparaging remark in the GM’s direction on the way in to the circle, out came the ice.
As he sat there trying to explain how he had forgotten to bring some birthday beers a chocolate cake suppository was almost inserted into his rectum just as reminder for next time.
The RA then cleaned up proceedings and claimed he had swollen a gutful of insects while on the run. He invited charges from the floor and up stepped Sir Two Dogs with a few  newspaper stories about Lawyer X Fanny and a client loosing his $11 grand Porsche car-key, a Truckie’s fear of Yowis and Miscarriage waiting for a Carlton AFL flag.
Incumbent POW Foxtrot, normally known as man lost for words, not his eloquence then delivered the best circle oratory you will ever hear in this hash as he prepared to transfer the POW to the next victim. He remarked how well the trail had been marked with lots of toilet paper and flour.
However he said he drew the line, especially when he found a whole lot of it had been put on a grave of a much loved family dog. A shattered Caustic, who by this stage was thinking he couldn’t take a trick on his own run then stepped forward for his efforts and was rewarded with the POW.
The GM produced his sword and announced that a hash naming was about to take place. Frenchman Pepi la Pou was given a shirt and as he arose, the GM shortened his name to Pepi. It was mentioned that Miscarriage’s great mate Phil’s life was now over and having reached 96, it had been a great innings (RIP).
The GM’s Sir Winston’s quotes went straight over our heads as they were about as clear as mud especially the bit about something happening in the lion’s mouth.
Pepi was invited to close the circle and he did so in French.
Just in closing, spare a thought for Caustic’s evening which he would have pondered over a drink when he got home. He sets good trails and gets rave reviews about them and the nosh.
However for his all his efforts, the hare ended sitting up on the ice, almost had a chocolate cake suppository inserted while there and to top if off got POW. All this on his birthday run.
As an ex PM once said – Shit happens !
ON ON
CIRCUMFERENCE(for Fuck All who is again on well earned RnR, a bit like Magician’s committee role which is pretty close to that hasher’s name)