Date: 12th March  2018……………………………
Location: Broadbeach ……………………………
Runners:29……………………………………………..
Run Pictures……………………………………………

Hashers gathered at Cascade Gardens. Truckie wasn’t there, but he left the trailer just in case. There were enough benches, tables, lights, and shelter, so the trailer or its contents were not used. There was lighting, there were water taps, there was a BBQ. STD started agitating for run instructions five minutes before start time. Finally at 6:15 precisely, Nasty showed us what a false trail marking looked like. I don’t think many hashers had ever seen one before. Then the hare set the runners off in a south westerly direction. Walkers started going with the runners until the frantic hare called them back. Nasty set the walkers off in a south-easterly direction, south along the highway. Trail went west at the north end of the Convention Centre, then south at the western edge, through what could have been a construction site. A security guard accosted us half way down the western side and said we were not allowed in that area. Someone told him that we were the last through, but we didn’t know that runners would be going through there a bit later and were turned back.

 

There were arrows, and the few walking stragglers went up the curved elevated walkway to the Casino, missing the check back as it was near a bright upward-beaming light on the floor of the walkway. Seeing no marking at the Casino doors (Nasty wouldn’t take us in there, would he?) or down the set of stairs, we decided to turn back to the last known marks. Almost at the end of the walkway, we saw the check back and followed trail back to the check. Trail continued around the south and up the east side of the Convention Centre then on home to a few beers. Probably about 3 km including the excursion to the Casino.

 

Nasty had organised Uber Eats to collect food from his house and bring it to the Park. Still hot. He started with meat pies. Then came rice and a choice of hot or not so hot chicken curry. Dessert was ice cream cheese cake.

 

GM called the circle. Immediately called Shat out for being disrespectful to the GM. Ball Point gave a note.

 

Next was the hare, Nasty. Fanny gave a run report saying it was virgin territory, but runners were tossed out of the Convention Centre construction area. Someone said there was not enough chicken, Nasty said he bought 5 kgs. Brewtus said it was the first time he had seconds of everything. Magician gave a note.

 

Returning runners were Magician who had stayed in a tiny room near St Moritz. Slab who was on a USA ski tour and Now Loved who was in Japan. Two Dogs stepped in with a gift for the GM he forgot from last week. Magician gave the GM a picture of the current committee as super heroes. S-Bends gave a note.

 

Ball Point was called in for dobbing two of the returning runners for wearing a hat in the circle. Fanny gave a note.

 

Prince announced that he had received $10 from Miscarriage for winning a bet that Miscarriage would not be in his new house on the hill by end February.

 

Prince also said he was told that the train to the Friday lunch at Beenleigh was at 11:59 instead of 11:15, which made him late. Prince got a down down, Bent Banana gave a note.

 

GM asked Nasty if he had requested the trailer, NO, no need as the park had lights, benches and tables and BBQ.

 

RA called Brewtus in for being away to a Mossman family reunion. Blackie for something, and Missing Link for using nuts in last weeks meal that were hard enough to break teeth. STD gave a note.

 

Shat got his embroidered cap for getting to 300 runs. Hard On gave a note.

 

GM called in Weekly to present the recovered (at great expense) the Golf Day trophy to the four winners, Ferrett, Bent Banana, Flasher and Rug. Each would keep it for three months, Rug took it away.

 

POW Shat stepped in and called Circumference for a big win at the races. He refused to say how much. Also called in was Prince for making farting noises to clear passengers away from a seating area on the train back to Gold Coast on Friday. Prince got the Prick of the Week.

 

Brewtus called end of circle.

 

Remember to use [email protected] if you have a story for RA.

 

On on

Mad Mike

Date: 5th March  2018……………………………
Location: Broadbeach waters…………………
Runners:26……………………………………………..
Run Pictures……………………………………………

Hashers gathered at the shelter at the southeast corner of Albert Park in Broadbeach Waters. No black clouds this week, although rain was forecast. No hills also this week. Truckie had set up the trailer near the shelter. Tables and chairs were set up under the shelter.

 

The hare was Missing Link. He gathered hashers and directed runners west. Hard On and Weekly stayed back to guard the trailer. The Phantom guided walkers east. The trail was well marked with arrows, and followed the path north between the Southport Burleigh Road and the lake. It went east under the road then north again on the east side of the road. We walked around the PCYC and Youth Club, then west on Monaco Street, under the road again then back into the park. There were a few false trails. The track followed the footpath through the trees, west of the lake, past the rugby club, then on home to the shelter. About 25 minutes. The first runners came in at the same time.

 

There were corn chips and salsa on the tables. Missing Link was cooking up a nice beef curry, rice, with peanuts, diced tomatoes, onions, boiled eggs, bananas, with a sprinkling of desiccated shredded coconut. Pappadums accompanied. This was followed by Lamington and custard.

 

Acting GM was Jiggy. He called for hashers to put away tables and chairs, then the circle. Before Jiggy started, Weekly stepped in giving away two camp chairs. The auction for two lamps donated by STD fizzled out as they were taken early on. Truckie stepped in asking if anyone had seen the pot that belonged to the lid he held.

 

Jiggy got into the Oscars theme, and called out Ice Man for being frigid, Hard On for leaning on a post, Phantom for not appearing and S-Bends for being a baby driver. Shat gave a note.

 

GM then called Missing Link into the circle. GM asked Bent Banana if he did the entire run, seeing as he was first in. BB said the other runners went the wrong way. S-Bend gave a food critique saying it was outstanding, too good. Prince gave a note.

 

No Retuning Runners.

 

Visitors, Peter was called in. He was asked why he came again? Peter said that he has been hearing about how great hashing is from Phantom for the last 15 years. HalAl gave a note.

 

RA stepped in with a couple of jokes. He asked Weekly to read a joke, but Weekly did not have his glasses, Truckie tried to read it.

 

STD was called out for being FIQ. Normally Ferrett is first in queue, but he was away. Truckie gave a note.

 

Charges, Missing Link spat the dummy for receiving a charge last week from Miscarriage for placing his hash bag on one of the chairs, depriving a hasher.

 

Bent Banana had a charge against him for arriving at the hash last week, staying in his car, then driving away without coming in. Blackie gave a note.

 

GM took over the circle, and called for the POW to come out.  Miscarriage called Phantom in for a split drink, Missing Link for giving soup to a pensioner, and Shat for being grandfather of the year. Shat got the POW. Circumference gave a note.

 

GM called for payment for outstanding Rally fees.

 

Poxy called end of circle.

 

Remember to use [email protected] if you have a story for RA.

 

On on

Mad Mike

Date: 26th February  2018……………………..
Location: Nerang…………………………………..
Runners:29……………………………………………..
Run Pictures……………………………………………

There were big, black ominous clouds to the south, looming up as we approached Nerang. Jittery hashers were gathered on the driveway to the Community Centre on Lavelle Street all staring at the clouds. Lightning and thunder seemed to be getting closer, and a few drops of rain started. A Range Rover started backing out of a car port, dispersing hashers, and drove out onto the road side. KB stepped out and got abuse from hashers. At 6:10 hashers went up into the car port shelter and waited for hare Fanny, stand in for Rock Hard, to give run instructions. At 6:15 precisely, the heavens opened up with torrential rain, thunder and lightening. Suddenly, no one was listening to Fanny any more. Quick as a flash, they went to the eskies, found beer, and disappeared into the meeting room.

Fanny put out a bowl of popcorn and chips, and with KB’s help, started cooking up the dinner.In the meantime, the scribe’s notepad circulated, and a few hashers added their bit to the run report.

“At 6:15 precisely, the heavens opened up and after 2 minutes of intense debate, the pack returned to the dining room to popcorn and corn chips washed down by cold beverages.”

“The run markings were to a very high standard, however, not having titty girls failed miserably and too many hills and on-backs in very slippery conditions. The hare set a challenging trail, but the hashers fucked it up.”

“Guest runner Bren Gun from Brisbane was very impressed with the workplace health and safety officer’s decision to run twice as far next week”

“We all arrived to thunder-ous applause”

“Miscarriage flushed with success after his victory over the planning committee, turned up in a horsehair wig and silk robes”

KB started setting out the serving area on one of the tables. He laid out a table cloth and placed ketchup bottles on each side. He then brought out an oven plate with meat pies. Hashers rushed up to get some, and seconds and thirds. Winners of the pie competition were Rug with 5, Miscarriage with 4, and Prince and Hard On tied for third place with three each. Then out came a huge pot of Bolognaise and pasta. No parmesan cheese. This was followed by chocolate coated ice cream on a stick which was tossed to hashers by KB. Most were not caught and fell on the floor.

GM called a circle around the tables and brought out KB for parking under the carport. Why couldn’t he park on the road like everybody else? KB said that his insurance excess was higher than anybody else’s if the car was damaged. He escaped a down down.

Trucky was called out for losing his pot.

HalAl gave a food report, saying it was a pretty good meal.

Fanny and Ball Point got a down down, HalAl gave a note.

Prince gave a report saying the he, Caustic, and a few others all celebrated birthdays at the Friday splinter lunch, but Miscarriage was legless at the pub celebrating his victory, as the council had capitulated. Mrs Burke is not speaking to him anymore, so the house is quiet. Brewtus immediately gave Miscarriage the POW (Prick of the Week).

Miscarriage said there was a Billy Connolly look-alike in the group, and called out Prince for a down down. Jigsaw gave a note.

RA stepped in with some jokes. He called out Ball Point for almost joining another running club on his way to hash, and suggested he go to SpecSavers. Rug gave a note.

Ball Point was called out again for eating the most pizza slices last week, and taking some home. Rug came second, and Circumference third. Blackie gave a note.

Fanny mentioned that he had stood in for Rock Hard and that we should all give Rock Hard our best wishes.

Ferrett was brought in for being in tears not being able to run this evening.

Miscarriage had charges to those that had placed their bags on a chair, restricting seats to hashers. Missing Link got a down down.

Brewtus called end of circle.

Remember to use [email protected] if you have a story for RA, and register for the Rally on 17 March for a Magical Mystery Tour

On on

Mad Mike

Date: February 23 2018………………………….

Location:Costa D’Oro…………………………….

Hashers:16…………………………………………..

Run Pictures.

Rain what bloody rain! Rain was not going to cancel this Splinter Lunch. Sixteen keen Hashers turned up at Costa O’Doro. Rain was not going to keep these party goers from having a good time.

Sir Botcho told us that the books had been audited after the Hash Gold day and extra funds were found and wine was purchased to be consumed at the lunch.

Costa O’Doro once again looked after us very well with great half price meals.

We were all fully wined out by about three , so  it was on on to the Lansdowne Road for a few cleansing ales.

Never fear Weekly Botcho said that the left over reds will be put on the table at the next Splinter Lunch.

Date: 19th February  2018……………………..
Location: Southport……………………………
Runners:28……………………………………………..
Run Pictures……………………………………………

Hashers gathered in the car park next to Camelot Gourmet Pizza, fitting for the Gourmet Hash, in Bronberg Plaza, Benowa on Chinese New Year wearing whatever Chinese t-shirts and hats they could muster. Several tables had a Reserved sign on them ensuring they would not be taken while we were on the run. The Phantom called the group together and gave run instructions, and set them off in a southerly direction.

Runners lead the way through Bob Huth Park before realising it was a false trail. They turned west along Heeb Street then south on Scenic Avenue. The trail then went through Scenic Park to the edge of Clear Island Lake and followed the canal east to boat ramp, along Waterford Court, left onto Racecourse Drive, then left onto Heeb Street for the trek home. The walk was about half hour.

The Phantom set out a few platters with chips, dips and biscuits. Then came out aluminium baking containers with cheese, sausage, onion and dried tomato on a skewer. Josephine was impressed with the wooden skewers. We all knew that the Phantom would be trying to redeem himself from doing the worst nosh ever last year, but when another set of aluminium baking containers with cold rissoles came out, we thought this is it, not much better after all. We noticed a couple of unopened rolls of dog meat on the table as a reminder of a previous Phantom meal.

After we had all stuffed ourselves thinking that the meal was over, when about 15 slabs of pizza came out. If I had only known, I would have left the cold rissoles alone. Too late!! Dessert was packs of Tim Tams.

GM called the circle in the car park a bit away from the restaurant. Botcho and Fuller were sauntering in late, so were called in by the GM for delaying the start, and joined the Phantom with a drink. Ferrett gave a note.

Everyone thought the nosh was a great improvement on the last one. Pizza gave a note.

Visitor was Peter, son-in-law of the Phantom. Shat gave a note.

Miscarriage, Fanny, Hard On, Truckie and Fuller were called in for not wearing something Chinese. Botcho gave a note.

GM looked around for a Barnaby Joyce look-a-like and called in Miscarriage. Fanny gave a note.

Fanny was called in about those emails circulating canvassing for a committee position. Ice Man gave a note.

GM announced the car rally for the 17 March and reminded hashers to register for a great scenic drive and fun treasure hunt rally, followed by a secret overnight stop-over. Isn’t 17 March Paddy’s Night?

GM was about to call the RA, when he noticed Peter and the Phantom talking in the circle. They were called in for another down down. KB gave a note.

RA had only one misdemeanour, and called in the Phantom for having dental floss in one of the rissoles. The Phantom gladly took it back and had a down down.

RA continued with a few jokes, assisted by Sweat Hog about piss holes and arse holes, Poxy about elephant prick, Peter about a rabbit joke, Josephine a long joke.

Fanny stepped into give Miscarriage a book.

Miscarriage called in Sir Prince for bringing beer to the Sunday Show Pony remembrance lunch at the Thai House of Siam when he should have been buying beer, and Ball Point for drinking the forbidden beer. Link gave a note.

The Phantom called end of circle.

Remember to use [email protected] if you have a story for RA, and register for the Rally on 17 March, maybe an Irish Theme?

 

On on

Mad Mike

IMPORTANT: Have a skin check