Author Archives: Botcho

Run 2111…Hare Circumference

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Date: 16th April  2018……………………………..
Location: Labrador ………………………………….
Runners:29………………………………………………
Run Pictures…………………………………………….

I got to the location and parked nearby, and strolled up with my hash bag in hand, but as I approached I sensed something wrong. Yes, there was a crowd of boisterous people, nothing new here, but then there were sounds of women and children. I stopped half way and looked. A table was spread out with food and drinks. Shall I or not. I decided to miss out on a free meal and turned back to the car. Where in the hell was the hash, it was already 6:10, so I drove up the road a bit further, nothing. I drove back down until I noticed a lonely Weekly sitting forlornly on a bench, elbows on his knees and head in his hands. I parked and asked him where everyone was as it was not 6:15 yet. He said everything was fucked up. That crowd had taken over the BBQ area that Circumference wanted, hashers had set off early to try to pick up trail, and he just pointed south. I didn’t see any runners, walkers, nothing. So I headed down, and further down looking for signs. I knew Circumference usually sets well marked trails. Little did I know that the trail went west and north. I went down past Smith Street then turned back and followed the highway back towards Central Avenue.

 

Behold, I found my first arrows, and there, coming towards me, were three hashers. We walked back to the bench where I had seen Weekly. The crowd was still at the original site. When all the hashers were back we walked down to the BBQ area and sat at a nearby table hoping that the crowd would leave soon. The ladies walked over to us with plates of food and deserts. They were feeding the homeless, and thought we might be wanting. They did these free dinners to homeless every week at different locations with food purchased with contributions from their workmates, how good is that.

 

They were not using the BBQ and allowed Circumference to start cooking his food, Truckie and a few others helped out.

 

Once the girls left we moved into the enclosure. GM decided to have the circle first, food later as it would not be ready. He called out the hare and asked Blackie for his comments. Boring as hell, says he, but well marked. There was no nosh report, but Weekly said he saw it raw, and it looked good.

 

STD was called out as he had been volunteering for the Commonwealth Games. STD said nobody was listening to him, especially Peter Beattie, who had not even called to say sorry. Slug gave a note.

 

Magician was asked how he got his name, but he was keeping that under his hat, Shat gave a note. He said that Magician had been called Stump Whore (or something like that).

 

Ball Point was called out for drinking beer out of a plastic bag.

 

No charges from the floor.

 

RA gave a joke about a goat being dropped down a mine shaft being tethered to a sleeper, by two idiots trying to find out how deep the hole was.

 

Returning runners were Phantom, Hard On, Swindler, Shat, Sir Ferrett, Sir Slab, and HalAl. Prince gave a note.

 

Something about Weekly and HalAl losing bags, RA took the rap and had a drink. Weekly gave a note.

 

Ball Point was brought out for savaging poor Pizza and not having any empathy for him. Swindler gave a note.

 

Swindler had a charge as he had been finding graffiti on the farm saying “Two Dogs was here in 1918”. STD got a drink, Swindler gave a note.

 

GM stepped back in asking for announcements.

 

Caustic spoke about the Commie Games, last chance for late comers.

 

Commie Games splinter lunch at Costa D’Oro

 

S-Bends gave a true story about pumping water in Africa.

 

POW was Ball Point, he had been waiting weeks for this opportunity, and had some nominations.

 

STD was called out for not having enough food at the previous week’s hash.

 

Circumference for photographing a poor Scotsman runner lying on the road in agony.

 

Sir Slab for promising Ball Point a second hand air conditioner, BP hiring a trailer, and getting a phone call from Slab saying that someone else was actually first to claim and cancelled BP. Slab got the POW and Ball Point gave a note.

 

GM called end of circle and everyone dashed over to get steaks, snags, bread rolls and a variety of sauces.

 

One more hash to AGPU, who will get the quill?

 

Remember to use [email protected] if you have a story for RA. Last chance.

 

On on

Mad Mike

Run 2110…Hare Sir Two Dogs

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Date: 9th April  2018……………………………..
Location: Paradise Point ………………………..
Runners:21………………………………………………
Run Pictures…………………………………………….

A beautiful GC autumn evening, no doubt organised by the RA, greeted hashers as they arrived to the park overlooking the Broadwater where the hare, Sir Two Dogs had set up his chattels for the evening. Large sandstone bollards had been strategically placed near the BBQ’s just in case some nutter had ideas of ram raiding the hash while they relaxed while consuming their alcoholic beverages.
The security training that the hare had received on readiness for his work during the Comm Games was certainly well displayed. After final instructions from the hare and the now popular mandatory markings being explained, the hare despatched the walkers to the north and the runners across the road to the west. The well marked large arrows were soon found and the hare rode his bicycle at the back of the pack in a sweeping role.
It wasn’t long before the pack had thinned to 5 runners with Sir Botcho, Bent Banana, Fanny Charmer and WA visitor Coops being prominent. Sir Botcho took it upon himself to lead the runners through Coombabah and then the conservation park at Runaway Bay, mostly on trail with a bit of off trail thrown in as well.
Fanny Charmer and Circumference found the home trail back along Bayview Street and the esplanade, Hollywell and were soon back at the venue to enjoy the birthday 50 Lashes beers provided by Fanny Charmer. Crocodile was welcomed back again to the fold and is now becoming a regular.
The hare and HRH Lady Jane were busy cooking over the BBQ’s while the pack enjoyed Jatz crackers and dips. Hashers changed into their Comm Games clobber in readiness for serving of the nosh. Garlic or plain meat Rissoles were served up and salads were available to put into their tasty burgers. There were plenty of drumsticks on offer for dessert.
The GM announced the 5 minute warning for the circle as acting booze master Sir Botcho prepared the down downs. The GM asked the most important VIP to step forward and in an egotistical moment , Nasty , stepped up which earned him a down down. The hare and his cooking co- hare were next mentioned with the GM questioning the hare about his role in the preparation of his nosh. Sir Two Dogs advised that at least he had gone to the butcher shop to order the rissoles !
Sir Botcho spoke on the run and he stated that he wanted to showcase as much of the variety of the northern suburbs as possible to Coops, the visitor from Hammersley Hash, so he took him both on and off road. Our resident flying Scotsman in the walk section, Caustic Crusader,explained that most of the chatter during the walk was about the big beer gutted gold medal winning Scotsman who looked like has enjoyed many a pint at each end while playing bowls.
The visitors including Coops and Mr D, who has now been in attendance for consecutive Mondays, were the next to receive down downs. Ballpoint, was dressed in some sort of tribal clobber that may not have got him a start in the sheila’s javelin throwing event at the Comm Games athletics at Carrara but would have definitely got him a start in the drag queen’s spear throwing section at the inclusive Arafura Games for indigenous athletes which are regularly held in Darwin.
He called out Truck Tyres who was concerned about the shape of the female posterior which appears on the prototype of the upcoming sure to be a collector’s item Blue Moon hash T-shirt. Truck Tyres was assured that there nothing to be worried about as there were definitely no Miss World type arses on show from the harrierettes in attendance on the night of the event. The GM seized on the moment to call out Truck Tyres for leaving his bicycle helmet in the GM’s car.
This charge almost back fired on the GM as Truck Tyres presented the GM’s sunglasses back to the GM as they had found themselves inside the helmet.
The RA tested his jokes on the circle with his rendition of one where he combined a birth /ethnicity/ a puppy receiving the best response. He then invited charges and Bent Banana called out Prince Charles look-a-like S Bends to accept a commemorative gold medal.
The GM has asked that all trophy winners from last years AGPU to return them as soon as possible. Dicky Knee and Phantom were mentioned as possible holders of some of these most treasured hash items.
Ballpoint was soon back in the circle to explain why he had forgotten to bring the POW trophy to two consecutive Monday evenings. He was warned that he was now getting into dangerous territory with a severe reprimand icing awaiting him in the wings for another non-appearance of the POW kit.
Sir Two Dogs handed out small souvenirs of the Comm Games themed evening to all in attendance.
As Mrs Fuller is not too well at the moment, we are all thinking of her wish her all the best towards her recovery.
The circle was closed and another enjoyable evening of hashing came to an end.
On On
CIRCUMFERENCE

Run 2109…Hare Slug

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Date: 2nd April  2018……………………………..
Location: Miami ……………………………………..
Runners:23………………………………………………
Run Pictures…………………………………………….

Slug set the run from near his home in Miami. Hashers gathered at the shelter at the end of Santa Monica Road where it joins Marine Parade. There was a shelter with two tables and benches, and lights. One table was occupied by a family, so we hoped they would finish a leave soon. As it was a public holiday, the run started at 5:00 pm, no need for torches tonight. The hare gathered everyone and gave instructions to the runners and walkers, saying it was a short run. I set off with a small group of walkers south along the concrete footpath alongside the beach. We went up the stairs near the Lores Bonney Lookout, then continued south past North Burleigh Surf Club. After about 20 minutes we turned around and retraced our steps.

 

Back at the shelter, Slug had put dips, crackers and tacos on the tables. After a beer or two, he started serving out the main course of Bolognese, noodles and grated cheese. This was followed by sticky date pudding with ice cream and caramel sauce. Did Slug really prepare this? Pussy’s sticky date pudding was mentioned several times.

 

GM called the hare into the circle. Caustic and Truckie commented on the sticky date. Prince said the Bolognese was better than Blackies. Bent Banana said the trail was well marked, but could have had more checks. It was longer than a short run, but it was a good run. Nasty was called in as helper on his bike as a stand in for the hare. He and Slug had a drink, note, of sorts, from Weekly.

 

Caustic commented on Weekly’s fucked knees.

 

Fuller was asked about the drones, but they have been put away. Danger of them being shot down. Caustic gave a note.

 

Visitor was Mister D, brought by Bent Banana. BB gave a note.

 

Circumference gave a report on the Blue Moon hash over the weekend orgainsed by Ball Point. There was some confusion about which pony club was the meeting point, as some mixed hashers went to the wrong place. Some thought it was an April Fool prank.

 

Caustic announced the Comm Games hash event and encouraged hashers to attend for $45. About 60 were registered, but a distinct lack of GCH3 hashers.

 

Prince announced that Miscarriage was going to Las Vegas for 2 weeks.

 

RA called for stories. Prince told of Miscarriage and wife going to Prince’s house, and when leaving, stepped in dog shit. It was all over the car pedals and carpets, and it took Miscarriage weeks to get it cleaned up.

 

RA called Blackie in for the huge hole in his shorts.

 

Prince had another story about Miscarriage and a dog in Melbourne and taking a dog home after an operation before it was fully recovered. The dog woke up and sprayed shit all over the car and Miscarriage. Jigsaw gave a note.

 

GM called Jigsaw for 300 runs, cap to come, and Circumference for 800 runs. Botcho gave a note.

 

Prince called end of circle.

 

Three more hashes to AGPU, who will get the quill?

Run 2108…Hare Elvis

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Date:26th March  2018………………………….
Location:Burleigh …………………………………
Runners:28……………………………………………
Run Pictures………………………………………….

Although the hare despatched the walkers south and the runners east, it wasn’t long before the whole pack was heading together in the same direction in the vicinity of a previous hares trail.  Not known to Elvis, Magician had laid a fairly identical trail not that long ago which was a bonus for all as there was little chance of getting lost. On a warm humid night, the distance was just right and it wasn’t long before all were back and enjoying the birthday beers supplied by KB who has been a little unwell of late.
The GM summoned all to prepare for the circle as the nosh was ready for consumption. Elvis was joined by the Silver Thai restaurant owner and KB for down downs. The best run comment from the pack was that it was the quickest drink stop ever. Sir Botcho made a charge about the run distance on Bent Banana which back fired on him and as a result of his “fake news” charge , he got the down down.
In the wake of the current Aussie cricket scandal, Magician called out Bren Gun and Carefree for their on-going ball tampering, which he claimed he had witnessed several times over the years in his travels with them. His message was quite clearly – Don’t tamper with your balls.
You can imagine that the Barmy Army will already will be working on the lyrics of a Coldplay song, particularly the words – Oh what a thing to have done and it was all YELLOW. Promo labels from the old Rolling Stones album, STICKY FINGERS, could become fashionable again in England particularly when the Aussies next play cricket there and they are sure to get plenty of stick from the Pommy crowds.
Bren Gun then advised that his wooden spoon award for coming last in the car rally went missing between Saturday night and Sunday morning at Boonah. The first suspects were the Brisbane hashers who knocked off the Splinter golf day trophy. However due to their absence on the car rally which was a pretty water tight alibi, that theory was soon hosed down and there is fair chance that the missing spoon is now located in the kitchen draw with all the other cutlery at The Outlook.
As Saturday’s GC Bulletin ran a story about the closure of Helensvale Golf Club and putting Sir Botcho’s annual splinter Golf Day in jeopardy, a hasher was called out for his association by name for being involved in the closure and putting a dark stain on the splinter hash. As the name of the Kiwi business involved was JIGSAW Community Services, our Jigsaw got a down down. On his entrance to the circle, it was noted he had another dark brown stain on him, on the rear of his shorts. So as he wouldn’t drink alone, ex Kiwi /now dual citizen Sir Slab was called out as a proxy for the Kiwi involvement in the club’s closure.
Before closing the circle, Slug advised that the Easter Monday run would commence at 5pm and Pussy’s famous Sticky Date would feature on the menu.
The nosh was up to the usual standard from Silver Thai and no one went home hungry or thirsty from another of Elvis’ West Burleigh runs. We all wait for the run one day when Elvis and Bent Banana combine as hares for a Elvis run from Gracelands.  A hashy birthday song was recorded for famous hasher Darwin Don to celebrate his 95th birthday.
On On
CIRCUMFERENCE

Run 2107…Hare Sir Ferrett

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Date: 19th March  2018……………………………
Location: Miami ……………………………………..
Runners:34……………………………………………..
Run Pictures……………………………………………

We all knew it was going to be an auspicious occasion when we arrived to see the marquee set up with a long table and rows of chairs. Especially seeing Ferrett in his formal attire and top hat. The trailer was set up at the southern end of the car park at the Don McSween Park in Miami, just under the cliffs of the Lores Bonney Lookout. A sea breeze was keeping the temperature balmy, not too hot, in fact it could get cooler later.

 

At 6:15 the hare gathered everyone and gave run instructions. Walkers were told they could go south as far as they wanted and turn back. We set off along the Gold Coast Oceanway footpath to the steps up towards the Lores Bonney Lookout. A few hashers were already panting by the time they got to the bottom of the steps, and took one look up the steep steps, shook their heads and turned back, At the top of the steps were arrows pointing northwest, but I noticed almost every hasher was heading south down the grassy slopes towards North Burleigh. We continued along the concrete track, past North Burleigh Surf Club, and continued on the track for another ten minutes before turning back. Steps back down were certainly easier. The was a guy at the bottom with a large dog waiting for everyone to come down, however, there was a long stream of traffic, not only hashers, so he would be waiting a long time.

 

The hare was busy at a large pot, stirring the Minestrone soup, hashers came up to get served, added some grated cheese, and took a slice or two of garlic bread. Later the hare was rolling homemade burgers and placing them on the BBQ. With the burgers, the burger roll, pineapple slices, salad, cheese slices tomato, beetroot, the works. This was followed by fruit cake with sliced bananas in custard. Well done Ferrett.

 

After the tent, tables and chairs were put away, the GM call the circle.

 

Sir Rabbit played an entrance tribute song, Ferrett was called into the circle. GM was dressed in his high priest robes with a long sword in hand. GM called in all the Sirs to form a circle honour guard. Sirs Two Dogs, Prince Valiant, Slab, Botcho, Blackie. Each Sir said a few words about Ferrett. Ferrett then got down on one knee and was knighted as Sir Ferrett. Sir Prince, who was the first Sir, gave a note. Sir Ferrett was given a special goblet and a jacket and got a second down down. Josephine, who is next in line to be a Sir, gave a note.

 

Caustic was brought in for dobbing those with hats on in the circle, and got a down down, Truckie gave a note.

 

Croc and Rock Hard were welcomed, good to see them both, and hope we will see more of them. Poxy gave a note.

 

Caustic said a few words, inviting hashers to attend the Commonwealth Games hash at reduced prices.

 

Visitor was Bunker, Caustic have a note.

 

Returning runners were Ferrett and Swindler, Ice Man gave a note.

 

POW was Prince. He brought out a few contenders.

 

  • Shat and Hard On for missing the turn to the Gold Coast on their way back from Boonah and ended up in Ipswich.
  • Circumference for getting the GM lost so many times on the rally.
  • Slab for going the wrong way at the roundabout, (just returning from the USA).
  • Miscarriage for going to Prince’s house knowing Prince was away.
  • Ball Point for saying disparaging remarks about Prince at the rally. Ball Point got the POIW

 

Prince noted one year since the passing of Moonbeams, RIP.

 

RA stepped in and called Fanny for being rude. He said a few jokes, and asked in anyone had charges.

 

Miscarriage called out Prince and Hard On for being engineers and citing the collapse of the new bridge in Florida killing several people.

 

Josephine called out the only culprit who brought crownies last week, and left the bottle tops in the money bucket. Ball Point got a down down.

 

Rug called in Sir Ferrett, who was away last week, and presented him with the Golf Day trophy. Truckie gave a note.

 

There were a few more jokes before GM called on Sir Ferrett to end of circle.

 

Remember to use [email protected] if you have a story for RA.

 

On on

Mad Mike