Date: 14th May  2018…………………………..
Location:Carrara …………………………………
Runners:35………………………………………….
Run Pictures………………………………………..

Before the start of the run by eager runners,

S- Bends advises that the money for paying for beers will be deposited in the yellow bucket, and the wine monies will be deposited in a separate clear container. This will assist to keep track of different costs.

At 7:15. GM Weekly calls that this run is a Memorial run for passed hashmen.

Prince presented the speech and gave a historic rundown on some important dates and times.

Sewerage.    1994.    He was a past GM.

Credits.        2002.    340 runs.    60 years of hashing. Past GM.

First Hill Tanner.      Died on a work site.

Peter Eustace…. Former Tasmania athletic champ.  He held a record there.

Ring Bork.

K.Y.    Ken Yarwood.

Doggy Dave.

Toothprick.

Geoff Maiden.  A past GM.

Bildge Pump.

Show Pony. Passed 2017 with 615 runs. Also past GM.

Moonbeam.  Passed 2017.  Completed 630 runs. Another past GM.

The mentioned were all great characters, all very fondly remembered and missed by all who remember true hash men.

Tuesday the 15^th May is the day that Sewerage passed away at 41 years of age. 21years ago.

Sadly, others such as Showpony and Moonbeam only one year ago.

Who could ever forget some of their cunning stunts? One never knew if Pony was telling the truth or trying to sell something.

Along with Moonbeam , they had a formidable reputation for hash fun run debacles.

Whilst, we fondly remember them all as always, tonight is Sewerage’s anniversary.

His first run number 73 in 1979. Last run 847.  Total runs completed are 527.

Encouraged his Telstra dignitaries’.

Few of many are, Sir Rabbit, Josephine, Commander and Old Fart.

A short musical interlude, prepared by Sir Rabbit of wind problems was cancelled. His recorded musical interlude of Indonesian Curry farts got blown away and failed to play. Was this was a normal Debacle. ?

The speech was concluded, by all singing a Hymn as a toast to all whom departed too young and left others to age disgracefully.

The GM recalled a circle at 8:35.pm.

The GM presented himself as Winston Churchill. He did look like Churchill complete with cigar in between the lips. The Bowler Hat, black coat and walking stick completed the image.

The GM’s quote of Winston Churchill was appreciated.

“Diplomacy is the art of telling people to go to hell in such a way that they ask for directions.”

 

Geoff Lewis, our special guest speaker was invited to tell some history of his early hash days. Fond memories were of Port Moresby and Tony Morrow. About flying Tiger Moths overhead and bombing the poor runners with flour bombs. All those Good Old Days were good fun for all. Geoff also was involved in publishing a short book on hashing in 1978 where some runners were born from a horses arse.

Fond memories were also with a buxom lady called Elka Sinclair. Her great body had every one fall in love with her.

Geoff’s story telling was followed by a Down Down.

 

Visitors. A new member press ganged by Flasher. Down Down followed.

 

Returning runners.  Flasher.  Also attending the Gym now.

 

Run report. All happy with the run. Was a good run. Truckie and the GM took the Down Down.

 

Nosh report.  KB.   Woodsy worked hard at the BBQ.

 

The hash runners were very pleasantly surprised about what was for deserts.

There was this huge cake. So beautifully decorated with an up- curling wave of icing and the wave, was ridden by the hash bunny on a surfboard. One comment was. Are  we going to destroy that and eat that great work of art.?

After KB careful dissects all of it, it did not take long to disappear. Thanks to the baker, Mrs. Weekly.

 

Ice Man took a cold icing on the hard cold ice. But he kept his cool at all times.

There was a joke about a passenger flying economy class and wanting an upgrade.

 

Next week run. Will be back to basics with a lot of bush around. All TBA.

Sir Arsole, VD, Flasher, Fullershit, and Sir Rabbit were awarded for their runs achieved.

 

Prick of the Week. This trophy mysteriously was polished with black polish. Presented to Hard On for deleting data from the computer.

 

A data sheet was read about the Takata Airbags used and failed in different cars. Those represented were,  BMW,  Honda, Jaguar-Land Rover and Mitsubishi.

 

KB took another Down Down.

Brewtus called the circle to be closed. 8:35pm.

Date: 7th May  2018………………………………..
Location:Mudgeeraba …………………………….
Runners:25………………………………………………
Run Pictures…………………………………………….

The run was set up under three joined shelters with good table space and benches.

A donated LED floodlight was set up and the sun shone again on all eager runners.

This run was to be flour marked (No, not petals) run on rain soaked ground from afternoon rain. The rain decided it was not going to join the run and stayed away.

The mounds of flower stood up to the soaked conditions. A runner did however near the end of the up hill trail went past it. When questioned, he replied. I did even see that. Guess who that was?

The walkers made short work of the laid trail, as it was water soaked and deviated back to the shelters. You know who they were. They had the cleanest running shoes.

The runners returned to mention the wet conditions and the maze of paths available to take by mistake.  Thanks to Brutus for sharing his mossy repellent with others.

At the last minute we were joined by Kitchen Bitch, whom was in such a hurry because was in bare feet and quickly had to dress. Next time arrive early to avoid giving any deadly noxious fumes before the run.

On completion of the run, we took notice of Truckie to get the floodlight in that sweet spot securely. A real good Boy Scout job.

At 6:15 pm our newly elected GM Weekly called the circle.

His new Cabinet of office bearers was introduced.  There were comments from some of the runners that the new Scribe should show his new pen. That middle finger nearly did present. All returning runners were mentioned.   Prince was the PA for that evening. The evening entertainment comedian gave a new view to vehicles.

Renault and Ford have joined forces to create the perfect car for woman.

Mixing the Renault “Clio” and the Ford  “Taurus” they have designed the Clitaruus”.

Who the f#%@ is Tina.  We all know her well-said Slug. Also all the massage parlors. A Down Down was then directed to Slug, and Ferret. May be for his bad influence to others.

After the AGPU some members had to get back using luxury cars. One individual got cabin sickness and did not want to change the appearance to the carpet, got out and barked at the tarmac. Now remember that the Indian meal did not have diced carrots. You know why….. Brutus ate all of them.

A Down Down for KB for presenting himself with no shoes.

How about Rabbit taking off with two goodie bags, one on each shoulder after the AGPU. On his return home there was a 45 minute transport wait. Where else better to spend spare time, non other than Harbor Town. The 707 bus arrives, maybe the last for that night. Hey… where is my Go Card. After a frantic strip search his bus card is found.

A well deserved Down Down for this fellow.

To add insult to injury, an enquirer was asked how Care Free got his black eye. It is believes it is from asking for 50 cents donation for his coffee with S bend.

To ease the pain, another Down Down was in order.

Truckie just had to mention that KB arrived home in a shoveled state.

Run report.  Presented by Slug after he returned after sneaking off to make the ground more soaked.  Because he straying away, be got what was due….. A Down Down!!!

6: 30.pm it is pie time.  A tasty hot stew that would suit any home made pie.

Desert, an old Scottish recipe consisting of plaster of paris, oats and other secret mixes. The fermenting process of the Old Scottish desert gave it a lingering taste of alcohol.  In reality, all enjoyed it. Sir Rabbit was too chicken to taste it.

After the run report, which was said to be slushy but well marked, there was a Down Down to the Hare. .…. Mad Mike.

Blackie, Wrongway and Ferret gave the nosh report.  A question was asked if the Cous Cous was better than the old potato mash.

There is always a complaint from someone. Why did the local resident Possum, not join them at nosh time? He was too busy up the tree…..

A T-shirt was offered to the first buyer for $20. A superb Mothers Day present.

So.. who is the Prick of the week? Ha Ha Ha…. Who is he and where is he???

Brewtus closed the circle at 7:20pm

The joke in its entirety….

Renault and Ford have joined forces to create the perfect small car for women.

Mixing the Renault “Clio” and the ford “ Taurus” they have designed the “Clitaurus”.

It comes in pink, and the average male car thief won’t be able to find it – let alone turn it on – even if someone tells him where it is and how to do it.

Rumour has it though; it can be a real bitch to start in the morning!!

Some have reported that on cold winter mornings, when you really need it, you can’t get it to turn over.

New models are initially fun to own, but very costly to maintain, and horribly expensive to get rid of.

Used models may initially appear to have curb appeal and a low price, but eventually have an increased appetite for fuel, and the curb weight typically increases with age.

Manufacturers are baffled as to how the size of the boot increases, but say that the paint may just make it LOOK bigger.

The model is not expected to reach collector status.

Most owners find it best to lease one, and replace it when it becomes troublesome.

 

 

 

 

Date: 30th April  2018……………………………..
Location:Surfers Paradise ………………………
Runners:44………………………………………………
Run Pictures…………………………………………….

Your loving and caring committee had been working for months on getting ready for the best AGPU ever. We knew that our term was coming to an end and some were reluctant to give it up. Where shall we have the event? Seeing that the venue last year was banned due to Flasher plastering stickers everywhere, it was really a quandary. However, after much research, and visiting potential venues up and down the coast, one was finally found. Working out what to put into the goody bag proved to be another interesting effort. So many things to choose from. Did hashers want another t-shirt or pair of shorts? Some items looked great but were far too expensive; it would cripple the hash funds. After all, next committee would like to have some funds in the coffers!

 

It was to be an early start at 5:00 pm with everyone meeting up on the roof top Neal Shannon Park at the Bruce Bishop car park. For the first time ever, I was early and first to be there. I sat down at a bench in the usual gathering area and watched the girls’ volleyball teams across the play field, and a game of soccer nearby. Finally, about 4:30 I saw this lone figure ambling towards me. I thought, wow, Fuck All would have been first to arrive if I wasn’t there. We sat and chatted for a while and looked across the play field. A few leggy blonds strolled by, not that we were staring. Soon more hashers stared drifting in. About 5 pm the eskies came. Hash Cash Jigsaw sat down opposite me and started taking cash. Only $20 tonight, says he. About 5:30 Jiggy disappears and reappears with about 20 boxes of pizza. A bit later we saw a security guard come over to us and let us know that alcohol was not allowed in the park. So, we adjourned to outside the park at the end of Alison Street and continued with drinking and chatting. A good number of hashers turned up; including some I had not seen for years. AGPU must bring them out of the woodwork.

 

After a while Jiggy calls out for everyone to follow him to the next venue for a drink stop. We ambled to Surfers Paradise Boulevard, then along Cavil Ave to the Gringo Loco Cantina for a beer. One would have thought that they were not ready for us and they hastily started pouring glasses of beer. They had reserved an area for us on the pavement outside the bar, plenty of tables.

 

Next, we went through the courtyard back to Orchid Avenue and into the Meter Maids bar. A few got in and were quickly hustled out. Not sure if this was the next venue, but maybe someone forgot to mention that it was closed on a Monday, and no Meter Maids around. What a disappointment. Was it a fuck up or someone playing a joke? Will we ever find out? Blue Card and Jiggy will have some answers.

 

So, we continued to the next venue, Gilley’s which wasn’t far. Here the staff also seemed unaware and were furiously filling glasses. Poor Hard On was standing outside chatting to a couple of guys at a table. He was off booze due to serious medication he was taking and under very strict instructions from his GP or he may lose a few organs. Somehow, he got the message.

 

About 7 pm we wondered down into the Tandoori Place, and into the bowels of the earth. Felt like we were going down two or three flights of stairs and finally ended up in a large room with tables and chairs all set out. At least someone was expecting us and all ready. Scarlet was also ready and waiting for us. A quick replacement for the unwell Chrissy. She was introduced by Botcho, much to the disgust of the GM who wanted to get close to her. Rules about photography, then with formalities over, she become very informal stripping down to her skimpy black lace undies.

 

There was a head table set out for hierarchy, last chance to get some benefits. A chair was placed at the top table, in front of GM, for Scarlet. He was busy fondling her boobs, but her back was to the hashers. Anyway, she got up and started mingling with hashers at other tables, no doubt getting more cuddling and fondling.

 

There was plenty of wine for every table, and beers provided by the restaurant. Starters were onion bhaji and chicken bits. Main was a selection of beef, lamb, chicken and probably vegetable curries. There was dessert, but I didn’t have any so can’t comment.

 

After everyone had eaten, GM walked over to where the goody bags were stashed. He enlisted Scarlet to call out names and hand out a goody bag, along with a big hug, to each hasher. Seemed to be a bit of a mix up with a couple of hashers not getting their bag, sure Jiggy will remedy that soon. We heard that one bag fell and the bottle of red wine inside broke spoiling a few bags. The goody bag was a backpack, and inside was a bottle of red wine, a bottle opener, a head light, an embroidered t-shirt and a M4 Smart Bracelet, Fit Bit like. Apparently, it will tell you if you are asleep or awake, alive or dead, and if you have a heart.

 

Now to the awards.

 

• Worst Nosh went to Wrongway
• Best Nosh to both KB for his tunnel run extravaganza and to Sir Prince Valant
• Best Run went to Swollen Colon
• POW of the year to Flasher for him misdemeanour at last year’s AGPU
• Hash Man of the year to Jigsaw
• Only one Webmaster, Botcho got a big hug from Scarlet with a bit of a wiggle from the hips.

 

Lastly, the new Committee.

 

• Hash Scribe/OnSec went to Fuck All
• Trail Master went to Magician
• Hash Cash – Hal Al (he was practicing last week)
• Trailer Master went back to Truckie, I think he loves that trailer.
• Booze Masters are S-Bends and Now Loved
• Religious Adviser RA went to Sweat Hog
• New GM is Weekly
• Lastly Hash Flash went to Brewtus

 

Remember, no need to use [email protected] if you have a story for RA and more, he won’t reply and will ignore you. Wait to next RA to set up a system for dobbing in.

 

One thing I did enjoy was setting the Hash Rally in March. Truckie did an excellent job also in suggesting some of the best locations to go through. Maybe hash can consider making this an annual event.

 

Although I was suckered into my role by Blue Card not long after the last AGPU, it has been an interesting experience. I tried to include the trail, the nosh, everyone who contributed to down downs and who was called to sing a note. I thank Circumference for filling in when I was away, and I occasionally got Sweat Hog, who I replaced, to do a couple of reports. Each has a different approach and style. Thanks also to Botcho for posting the words. Also, the Committee, which in true hash tradition, is run by a few and supported by the others in their roles. On On to the next Committee.

 

On on

Mad Mike

Date: 23rd April  2018……………………………..
Location: Highland Park …………………………
Runners:37………………………………………………
Run Pictures…………………………………………….

It is not often there is a GM-set run during the year, but it is the only way to make sure he sets a run before he skedaddles off to Europe for a few months. There was limited parking up the driveway near the house, but somehow Truckie got the trailer up there. I wondered how he was going to get it back down. Most hashers parked on the road and climbed up the steep driveway groaning and moaning. GM (or delegated to Truckie) had set up the tables and chairs on a flat grassy area near the house. There seemed to be a lot more hashers milling around, maybe it was the excitement of end of year, and wondering who was taking over next week.

 

At 6:14 GM called hashers together around him, and promptly handed over to the acting delegated hare, Magician, who gave pretty precise instructions, then pointed up the hill into the bush. This wasn’t running country and everyone walked in single file. We skirted some houses and got onto what looked like an old asphalted access road. There were chalk arrows at any flat surface. The trail followed the track behind the houses on Tera Vista Boulevard, then finally on the road back to Armstrong Way and Ben Lomond Drive back to GM’s house.

 

GM had plates of pepper crackers and chorizo sausage and cheese cubes on the tables, and dips. Delegated Hash Cash HalAl was taking cash for subs tonight, maybe a hash cash in waiting, we will see.

 

Seeing as this was the last regular hash of the year, I was expecting a gourmet hash “nosh of the year” and sure enough, out came the snags, unbuttered bread slices, packaged mashed potatoes and some other mush, and a variety of three sauces. GM seemed to have delegated other things also as Fanny was busy stirring pots in the kitchen. He was probably trying to save the evening.

 

GM could hardly call himself out as hare, so Prince stepped in and took over proceedings temporarily. GM stepped into the circle. Delegate hare Magician also stepped in. Somehow the theme changed to colonoscopies as both GM and Magician were due to have one tomorrow. Then Brewtus stepped in, he was having one also. They were supposed to be on a strict diet, so Josephine served up a weak down down for them. Swindler gave a note.

 

GM asked if any visitors were present, Canadian Pylon stepped in. Was this a mistake? He gave a commendable hash version of My Favourite Things before his down down.

 

Ball Point made a mistake of muttering something about procedure which annoyed the GM and was brought in for trying to usurp the GM. Nothing unusual. Fanny gave a note.

 

Returning runners were Woodsy, Miscarriage, Fuck All, AH, VD, and Poxy. Slug gave a note.

 

Miscarriage narrated a story about the outback from Canada.

 

Ferrett received a prize.

 

Finally a run report, Brewtus said it was well marked.

 

S-Bends stepped in to give a joke about samples. Canadian Pylon gave another song.

 

RA told a story about his travels to the Great Ocean Road.

 

Miscarriage was asked about recent damage to a new vehicle, Magician gave a note surrounded by 4-wheel drivers.

 

POW Slab stepped in a called a few nominations.

 

• Carefree for texting Slab on a bike ride.
• Shat for going over the handle bars on the bike.
• Truckie for forgetting his bike and helmet on the bike ride.
• STD for spending over $400 each on a dinner.
• Josephine for slagging the Kiwis on their 35 to zero win rate against the Wallabies in rugby games.

 

Josephine got the drink.

 

Hash gave a minutes’ silence to departed mates.

 

Next run, AGPU and new committee. I have been noticing recently some very verbose and eloquent writings, all the markings of a proficient new scribe. Who will it be?

 

No need to use [email protected] if you have a story for RA. Wait to next RA.

 

On on

Mad Mike

Date: 20th April  2018……………………………..
Location: Gold Coast ……………………………..
Hashers:70………………………………………………
Run Pictures…………………………………………….

What a great Fun Event! Seventy Hashers from  Australia, Canada and Scotland. The celebrations started with a food and beer and wine marathon at Costa D’oro Surfers Paradise ,then on to Landsdowne Road for a Guinness Down Down.

The main event took place at Burleigh Heads. Drinking started at 12 noon, a gourmet lunch was followed  by a torturing run and walk set by Sir Slab, Sir Blackstump and Now Loved.

One and half hours later and after more beer and wine Grand Master for the day, Caustic Crusader assisted by Hash Choir Girls Tail and Flower, handed out downs downs.

Saturday night we all gathered at the Burleigh Heads Surf Club  for more wine, dinner and dancing. Great food was on the menu and more wine and beer, not sure when I got to bed!

We were all back bright eyed and bushie tailed next morning for a bike ride for the over achievers and a beach walk for most.

KB and his helpers then served a gourmet breakfast.

Caustic, and his team of helpers – Sir Ferrett, Slug and Sir Botcho  were all thanked for a GREAT well organised weekend.

Good byes were said and it was on home.

Many thanks to all that attended, you guys made this weekend a success.

Cheers and On On

Old Bastard