Date: 18th June  2018…………………………..
Location: Bonogin ………………………………
Runners: 34…………………………………………..
Run Pictures………………………………………….

This was a Birthday run. Happy Birthday Ballpoint.   (Behind the face mask, Donald Trump)

This night was very cold for almost every one except for our GM Weekly, whom appeared not to feel the chill. Some said he had a little more body insulation around him.

 

The hare demonstrated the chalked run check- points on the concrete floor. This what had to be followed on the dark bush trails? Well some runners missed these markings.

The runners were cautioned not to follow Brewtus, as last week he set his own heavy lingering odour run.

 

The park shed did not have lighting, but soon it was resolved by Shat vehicle extension light.

Later, Truckle arrived and saved the night again and set up a string of LED lights. No sooner completed, fire works exploded breaking the night’s silence. Yes. It was Swollen Colon making his arrival know to the residents.

There were a few late runners returning. Magician, Swollen Colon and Botcho. Their lament was. “Never leave your mates behind.”

 

The nights returning runners were treated to a bowl of hot onion soup. May be to compete against Brewtus. The BBQ hamburgers and salads went down well.

 

All watched how carefully Ball Point placed his Birthday candles on his spectacular cake. Then came along Swollen Colon with his half meter in length fire works cracker, and placed it into the cake. Then proceed to light the fuse. All now stood back as no body wanted exploded cake on their face. Thankfully it was a dud.

A happy chorus was sung. Happy birthday. Fuck You.

 

We were informed that Miscarriage cow kicked injury was serious. He had a RMI scan and further damage to muscles were noticed. It was suggested by runners that he needed to go to Vietnam for massage treatment.

 

Our GM Weekly opened the circle at 8:15pm dressed as his favorite hero that of Winton Churchill. His large cigar adorned him this time. May be retrieved from his grand kids last week.

 

 

Run report.   VB commented on the nights run. It was good and at a new location. The run was well marked. Applause followed from fellow runners.

Walkers report.   There were few as they returned early and enjoyed the drinks on this cold evening. Some were said they got lost in the dark. Yeah, Yeah.

Nosh report.   Given by Magician who enjoyed it, as he was still eating. That was how good it was.

Visitors.    These were, Hot Dick and Ball Bag.

The hare with others were given a Down Down.

The GM proceed to give out special gifts. One person was to Brewtus for laying out his special lingering odour trail last week. He was presented with a box of CASTRO STOP.  A Down Down for this trail setting. The other person will be presented with his gift next week. So folks, stay turned for next week’s recipient.

Visitors report.   Rapper.  From Sydney and Nick from the Gold Coast, who wanted to see the Pussy Grabber?  Dirty Old Man.

RA report.   This was confusing. There were two of them. The assistant RA was Magician.

S-Bends was drawn into the circle about how he invented a new cocktail and the story how he achieved this. Mostly it consisted of Bailey’s Cream and other toxic mixes. A down down followed.

Two Dogs was encouraged into the circle and told a joke about digging holes into the lawn. This led to a Maroons flag to be presented and a Blue can of promised beer.

Two Dogs fondly received the Prick of the Week.  A Down Down was in order.

 

GMs quote of the week is by Oscar Wilde.

Experience is merely the name men gave to their mistakes.

 

The circle on this chilly night closed at 8:50pm.

 

That is it until next week. Keep rugged up for the cooler week.

 

Scribe.

Date: 11th June  2018…………………………..
Location: Labrador ………………………………
Runners: 40…………………………………………..
Run Pictures………………………………………….

Before the commencement of the run, S- Bends announces a new price of a beer and runners now also have a better choice, and bigger wine glasses to drink from.

 

The presence of Guinness beer was received with great appreciation. These entire alcohol beverages will only be costing $3.

 

This is real good value compared to restaurant prices. For a good warm up for the run a shot of sherry was welcome as well as a shot before the commencement of dinner. It kept the runners warm and in good spirit for the evening.

 

The run it self was well marked. The route journeyed past playing fields of young people playing their respective sports in the chill of the night.

 

Everyone was pleased to see Rock Hard at the run venue again. He is progressing well from his illness.  Maybe his hash name means some thing more? He is rock hard after all. He has survived by eating more organic fare. Take it easy so we can see you many more times.

 

It was noticeable that the evenings are getting a lot cooler. The runners were getting more rugged up for the evenings.

 

The park shelter was well lit and with plenty of table space and seating on this night. Truckie looked a bit bored, as he did not have to install the LED lighting. Well he is normally fast and makes light work of installing the LED lamp in that sweet spot for all of us.

 

Circle was called at 8.15pm

 

It was noticed by some runners that Ball Point always seems to find a crown beer where others fail. How come?

 

The GM appeared in reincarnation of Winston Churchill. Rugged out in his black jacket and with a walking stick.  He was not munching on his cigar, as he properly could not resist smoking it during the week.

The returning runs were called.  There were heaps of them. One was Kwakka, Nasty Excelpet and Fanny Charmer. A note was given with a down down to these runners.

Run report.  It was well marked out according to Excelpet.

Well done to the hares.

Fuller further agreed it was well marked and that all made it back to base.

Nosh report. Presented by S- Bends. Cheekily he says if it was left to the master chef, he would have been fired and kicked off.  But jokes aside the nosh was tasty and hot.

 

Even on this cool night runners were missing their desert. This dish was not going to appear for some reason.

 

The two hares were Josephine and Sir Rabbit.

 

For setting and marking the run, they enjoyed the down -down given to them.

 

The chosen park area is a favorite for the runners as it has been used in the past a few times.

 

Miscarriage, the cowboy, was called into the circle to further explain how he was cow-kicked by his favorite cow when he lifted her skirt.

 

He said he stood on a box then into another box to gain entry into the holding pen.

He was eyed off by a few cows and was caught in the rush by them. The animals did not enjoy his presence and they kicked the shit out of him.

Because the cow made such a good impression on his CALF muscle he ended up in Beaudesert Hospital. He also got kicked out of there. We are pleased about this.

 

After a weeks rest, he has progressed well, and he is now on his udder feet from hoofing around with cows.!! A good down down made him feel a little better.

 

There was a chorus sung from the circle, singing bestiality is great.

Aussie brings a bag of goodies into the circle. Swindler and Rock Hard were called up. A jacket was found in the goody bag. It was considered an honor and a status symbol to own this valued jacket.  It was found to be Hard On’s.

A down down, for having his mind on other things when it was time to leave with all his gear last week.

 

To our surprise Sir Rabbit came out from the dark and served our long awaited desserts. He was carrying a tray around his neck, like the one’s used in the cinemas of the past.  Fun-fair music was played to complete the scene.

Everybody’s sweet tooth was now satisfied.

 

 

The prick of the week was in the circle wearing the nipple cap trophy on his head. Some said it was a No No to do this, as no hat is to be worn in the circle. This was debated and was later considered to be the normal attire of a hash man.

 

Truckie questions the GM Weekly about the trail master. He has not been seen for a while. All was assured that the events were spread out on the Trail Master dining room table. The GM was convinced that it would be all in good hands.

 

Truckie now is sticking his neck out further and further, asking too many questions about all number of items. He is called into the circle to be subdued with Magician and a down down was instructed.

 

Cowboy Miscarriage also calls Swindler into the circle. Questioned where Swindler went overseas and how 2 Dogs looked after his farm and cows. Unfortunately on the farm there was an extremely aggressive rooster called Dave. This rooster attacked 2Dogs and he come off second best in spite of many years of his Martial Arts training.

 

Swindler further advised that after the rooster Dave’s bad behavior toward 2Dogs, the rooster had to be roasted. The rooster is cock sure no more.

Brewtus was called in to the circle.  On commencing his run with Josephine both made sure there was toilet paper made available for him. He stomach was playing up and the runners did not want to be behind him.  For obvious reason he shed his own smelly trail. He did not need any chalk to mark his trail. Only chalk he needed was in his gut.!

His shoes were also noticed and questioned where he had been running, as he had to make a pit stop in the dark along the route. A down down washed him down.

 

Miscarriage and two other runners may have sold their properties and they look to become the next millionaires of Gold Coast Hash. Hey. How about a soft loan?????

 

Prick of the week.   It was felt that the award trophy be given to Sir Botcho. He forcibly encouraged past week recipient, to receive the trophy. A down down was in order after the presentation.

 

The GM asked Ball Point about next week’s run. It was advised it would be South of the Gold Coast.  A visiting USA hash runner from Washington will be in attendance, and is looking forward to meeting the Gold Coast hash runners.

 

Iceman was recognized as an excellent RA and for his service given last year.

A well deserved down down was in order for this great hash member.

 

Nasty was called into the circle and the surrounding runners were asked what did they think of this man. Some people said he is OK, and some people spoke the truth.

The Courier Mail however, writes he is irresponsible and uncaring person. This was from a newspaper article written on 25th May 2018 is evidence of view. (Refer to photograph.)

But he is still our favorite hasher.

 

 

The GM’s quote for the week.

 

(By Winston Churchill.)

 

Fear is a reaction. Courage is a decision.

 

Circle concluded 9.10pm

 

Script is written with out prejudice.

On. Sec.

Date: 4th June  2018…………………………….
Location: Paradise Point ……………………..
Runners: 35…………………………………………..
Run Pictures………………………………………….

The early evening next to the water was chilly with the distance twinkling lights of units on Ephraim Island.

This run was special as it was on the same day of birth of our G M, Weekly.

Every one was happy to hear that the drinks this night would only be one dollar. Just like the local Dollar Stores.

We were informed that one of our farming runners, Miscarriage, had a run in and a knock out kick from an old cow. He tried to lift her tail and she did not like her skirt lifted. What a cow. Speedy recover Miscarriage.

Ice Man informed about his loan raising charity for woman in Africa. He has helped over 20,000 woman and others in business.

The odour of disinfectant filled our cold noses and noticed that Truck Tyres, Ice Man and other helpers were cleaning the food serving tables. They should do well working in hospitals as a team.

The run was on paved pathways and well marked. Every now and then a chalked arrow did a 90-degree bend to go down side roads. May be indicated that the pubs were in that direction. A couple of human shadows were seen heading in this direction.

On returning, a hot mug of curried soup and a French bread roll was a very pleasant surprise.

KB and S-Bends did a splendid job with the BBQ chicken and really hot potato chunks. This was finished off with ice cream and chocolate Possum droppings.

Circle was called at 8:35pm.

S-bends advised that is a significant run, as it was the GM and Booze Masters birthday. A song of celebration was sung and followed by a down down.

As a token of gaining extra age, the GM was gifted with a red Bula Bula towel, a yellow cap, fridge magnets, and many other items.

The GM was quite taken back by all the gifts given by generous runners. Never before has a GM received so many gifts.  He did have a big smile on his dish. A down down was in order for having this happy grin.

Missing link mentions that in the past a similar run was held here.

The R.A was 2Dogs. A Bennie that was left behind from a previous run was held up and to be claimed later by the owner.

Caustic was bought into the circle. A newspaper-cutting photo was shown around of him in the circles of the Royal Family and the Wedding. A real look alike. For his good looks of a double, another down down was in order.

Shat had us all listening to his joke about a seat at a restaurant.

The GM mentions a hare is required for June 25^th. Magician is to look into this and to a further hare line.

The RA brings S-Bends into the circle and gives a story of that morning cycle ride. He some how avoided a pedestrian and how funny all this looked.  S- Bends puts up a challenge to support the Maroons. He will denote a blue jumper and a blue can of beer. The series must be won.

The Prick of the week mentions this trophy has had clean- up and looks good again from being black and blue from last week.

The completion of 1000 runs cap was presented to Sir Ferret. The cap fitted him perfectly. (It was a 4XXX size.) Well-done Sir Ferret.

The run report as well as the nosh report was good and all were pleased with the results.

There was a call to all of the high achievers to enter the circle.

These were, Phantom, Magician, VD, and Fuller.

Truckle was there as he turned up on time for the bike ride for once.

Caustic was there as a piece of concrete got in the way of his truck.

As the Shiraz wine was not too popular with runners, this would be with drawn from drinks that were to be available.

Next week run will be on the corners of Government Road and Whiting Street.

There was some disappointment that Swollen Colon could not set his fire works off last week.

Circle was closed at 9:15pm.

That’s All  folks

Fuck All

On Sec

 

 

 

 

 

Date: 28 th May  2018…………………………….
Location: Ashmore …………………………………
Runners: 34…………………………………………..
Run Pictures………………………………………….

The knights rugby leagues club on Benowa road
On a night that looked a little bit on the bad weather side it turned out ok.
And looking at the pre lube I thought to myself
Fuck I’ve never seen so many new hashers,and the beers have gone up to $4.99 Blackie was doing his normal warm up with his west coast eagles beanie on, miscarriage was introducing his hash friends from Kansas City to everyone ,two dogs was looking anxious and was about to say what time does this hash start when GM weekly called Jigsaw up to try and explain his run / walk/ crawl / fuck it I’m staying here to look after the hashers that are staying here as well
Around 30 eager hashers and guests decided that they should venture out to see what Jigsaw could conjure up in the way of a run / walk / crawl / fuck it I’m staying hash night
Jigsaw made it quite clear that it was a figure 8 configuration for the runners and a 1/2 figure 8 for the walkers and he didn’t give a fuck about who was crawling or who was staying back to look after the esky, Jigsaw then went on to say that there was only one hill for everyone to negate and that that hill was just over there in the direction of the ON ON
Oh but wait up there just before you go!!!! Sbend has something to tell you all , Sbend then said something about birthday beers and paying something into one container and not the other container that is for the real beers and don’t swap them over as they need to reconcile where the monies are from and that there’s not enough birthday beers to go around so only have one and not two , to which everyone nodded in agreement and in unison said happy birthday Sbend and thanks for the beers
Then 3 Klm for the walkers and 6 klm for the runners Jigsaw announced as we ran into the darkness
Being part of the running group ( true hashers ) and not giving a shit about who was walking or crawling
we were off and running up that one hill that Jigsaw told us was the only hill we would encounter on our run this evening!!!!
Well six hills later and six runners still running like gazelles that were being chased by a pack of cheetahs; we came to the end of the first circle of the figure 8 configuration and were looking forward to the second loop that was supposed to go in the anti clock wise direction as a figure 8 would normally go , but in true hash form that only hashers can Phaethon Jigsaw decided to do another clockwise loop that had us all thinking what the fuck is going on ? It was actually a cassette run and Jigsaw was probably thinking to himself and thinking to himself and thinking , what a great figure 8 run that was ! if I was to score the run I would be thinking figure 8 ; 6 klm s meet you half way score of 7
After the nosh The circle was called by GM Weekly
Asked to report on the run, returning runner Swollen Colon went on as if it was the run of the year ,great concept,great markings , not to far ,not to Long, exactly 6klms as stated , no rain , no wind , no snow , no pizza , no injuries.
I think Swollen knew Jigsaw had brought with him the coveted run of the year trophy and he was paying Jigsaw back with compliments.
The GM then found it difficult to find a hasher to give a nosh report ,not sure why because Jigsaw went beyond his imagination to come up with a nosh menu that was truely fit for our gourmet hashers , corn fritters topped with avocado, chicken thighs with lashings of coriander flavoured salad ,roasted beetroot and the roasted pears I am sure was a first for most of us this followed up by desert of yogurt and raspberries
Finally Dish licker was coax away from the smokers corner to report on the nosh but found it hard to give an unbiased report on the grounds of ? Sir Rabbit chipped in and said he loved the greens but thought it lacked carrots,Brengun and sir Rabbit gave dish licker a note
Down downs to returning runners and visitors also fuller shit and Harry from the knights got to drink the potion that sbend and poxy are brewing
Presentations of 2 left over trophy’s from the AGPU were presented to firstly swollen colon for run of the year which was very well received by swollen as his 3 mins 19 seconds acceptance Speech came from the bottom of his heart and just as the tears were starting to well up in his eyes after thanking everyone that helped him achieve this very special award, he was booed off the stage and given a down down
The trophy for worst nosh of the year was to woodsy ( not present again )
But after an over ride by phantom and an insult towards The GM for looking after his mates Sir Botcho received a down down and the worst nosh trophy
RA Two dogs had charges ready but 3 of the hashers that were to be charged were not present, Caustic ,magician ,and carefree can wait
Miscarriage charges Botcho for a light infringement
Hard on had the prick on and call on Sbend ,Aussie and Blackie as Potentials but as quick as he got them out he sent them back and awarded the prick of the week to arch villain Jigsaw for not wearing a helmet and something to d with a black marker to make him look like he was wearing a helmet
Booze masters report from Sbend was to shed some light on what to expect or not to expect from the booze masters who control what and how much we drink each week , there were cry’s of buy some more beer that would be good and we don’t give a fuck as long as it red and wet from the winos and it wouldn’t happen on my watch from Josephine , Sbend stood his ground and announced there will be change – no more drinking fucking crap beer ,no more drinking crap wine , quality is what this hash deserves and quality is what we are going to have and plenty of it ,take this Pilsner for example it’s the best money can buy and we are going to stock fucking heaps of it for you all to drink and drink and who the fuck is Don and it’s all about intention and interesting drinks up to $3 and I stand here saying let’s make hash great again
Next weeks run
ICEMAN — not quite there yet but decides this is good time to tell that bird in the freezer joke
Esplanade SouthPark
The esplanade opp Errol ave Paradise point
Best check it out on the hash web site or on there stork a book page
It’s more birthday beers next week compliments of our GM Weekly
Theme will be state of origin maroon or blue
GM left us all in deep thought with a quote from Winston Churchill
YOU WILL NEVER REACH YOUR DESTINATION IF YOU STOP AND THROW STONES AT EVERY DOG THAT BARKS
Are you allowed to throw stones at dogs ?
Where was I going ?
Is that only when my destination Is that church on the hill ?
I don’t even own a dog !
What about cats ? I hate cats
I’m confused
Who the fuck is Winston
Note to self – must go to hash more
I think Josephine closed the circle on what was a great evening organised by the hare Jigsaw and who ever else may have helped
ON ON
The scribe

Ps , Geez Sbend got mentioned quite a bit in the words but it was his birthday I think
Ps
if you have read these words you and your partner are invited to Swollen colons 60th birthday celebrations to be held at the Benowa bowls club starting at 7pm on the 30th of June Text 0408185229 to accept

Date: 21st May  2018…………………………….
Location: Arundel …………………………………
Runners: 34…………………………………………..
Run Pictures………………………………………….

Just before dark on this wintery night Truckie decided to scrambled up a young tree like an over sexed 18 year old so he can find that sweet spot for the LED flood light. As he scrambled up the tree he made light work of attaching it. He should do well as a tree lopper. Next time we should get a cherry picker for him.

 

Generally the runners got a bit lost and some circled back while others were confused about the marked arrows; maybe from the effects of the cool winters night in the reserve.
GM Weekly (Winston Churchill reincarnated) commenced the evening’s proceedings.

 

Visitors: GM called five runners into the circle. One was from Geraldton, the other hasher named Alice. He has been to Saudi Arabia and other exotic countries.

Everyone was asking, “who the fuck is Alice?” Another visitor was Solo, not Solo Lemon, he was from Dubai. The next visitor was Ringmaster, he has been in Vietnam and he has run in many other countries. Another visitor, Ballpoint, he has returned from planning for a wedding.

 

Run report – Sir Botcho, he was the hare of tonight’s wintery run. People’s comments say it would have been better if we all had a Range Rover. Some of the hash runners commented they did separate runs that evening.

 

Walk report – Fu@^ All said it was difficult to find your way in the darkness and needed a good torch to get around.

 

 

For the FUN GUYS in the group they were given a down down; Slug, Sir Botcho and Slab were the returning runners.

 

The Nosh report, KB. It was a good nosh. The curry sausages and hot thick soup went down well for a crispy evening.

 

RA was Shat, he was a stand in.

 

There was a down down for Sir Botcho, Fanny Charmer, Ice Man and Magician. Sir Botcho was becoming a royalist and he got a down down for singing God Save the Queen.

 

S- Bends reads the joke of the night;

 

 

 

A man, Mr Bruce Gibson, who goes under the criminal name of SLAB, has been charged after ongoing investigations into large-scale money laundering on the Gold Coast during which police seized more than $400,000.

 

Detectives from State Crime Command’s Organised Crime Squad and the Crime Commission, as part of on-going money laundering enquires inquires, stopped a Toyota SUV at Mermaid Waters.

 

After speaking to the driver, officers conducted a search of the vehicle and found cash totalling $40,000 and a flight ticket to Fiji.

 

The man 73, in Hash Home Harrier clothing, attempted to flee but was a slow runner.  An on-foot chase ended with the man allegedly resisting officers before his arrest. He is known to police.

 

Mr Gibson will appear in Southport court on 31st May.

 

Poxy told a joke about a person in the local pub….

 

Ballpoint entered the circle and presented a wooden spoon trophy to Bren Gun who in the past refused to accept it as he thought it was second hand.  There was chip out on the end of the spoon and he took exception to this defect. To Bren Gun’s past comments, it leads to a down down.

 

The prick of the week – the question was asked who polished the prick black?. This is under investigation and the culprit will be found out next week. The male appendage converted award was awarded to Hard On. He got it back from the deleting the data from the computer. He received it in good spirit.

 

Ballpoint will be given a royal wedding in the future. To be arranged by Jig Saw.

 

Jigsaw said next week’s run will be at Collegians Rugby Club.

 

The Splinter lunch is this Friday 25^th May at Costa D’Oro. Surfers.

 

Ballpoint, Flasher, STD (two dogs) was bought into the circle. He gave the run report.

 

The assistant booze master entered the circle with a bag of goodies and out of the Pandora bag was drawn a Santa Suit and other items from lost and found.

 

The GM called for a black backpack to be placed in the circle and mentioned that this fantastic bag only lasted one hour or so. It did not even hold a bottle of wine for long and fell apart. Someone said, well what’s wrong with that, it only came with one-hour warranty on it.

The GM also mentioned as a reminder that the Hash has made a special birthday shirt (Like the original) and can be collected from the back of the Ute later.

 

The circle closed at 8.55pm.