Date: 23rd July  2018……………………………….
Location: Ashmore ………………………………..
Runners: 32…………………………………………..
Run Pictures………………………………………….

The start of the walk started by walking on the road back and forth to find the magic arrows. First it was this way, second it was that way. Eventually the arrows were found and the run commenced.

We all returned to the shed /factory and shop premises belonging to Fuller Shit. It was very interesting looking around at all the bits and pieces he had there.

GM Weekly handed out the named envelopes containing the  “On On” decal stickers. They should look good and stick  to vehicles of members or where they like to stick them. (Now be careful)

This night was Sir Arse Hole’s birthday. The thirsty runners gladly accepted his gifted slabs of birthday beer.

There was a delicious aroma from the fried beef and chicken strips on the BBQ for tonight’s hot meal. The buttered bread rolls both could contain chicken, one end, and the other end beef strips. Various salads and sauces could also be placed on top, producing a much filling meal. Ice cream, custard and diced fruit salad completed the meal course.

 

8. 15 p.m. Circle was opened by GM Weekly. Winston Churchill had arrived back and in his full attire. The War Office advises that the cigar was kidnapped by Ball Point. He is going to be so be very blunt once Ball Point returns.

Returning visitors and runners.    Ball Bags, Arse Up, and Magician were down downed.

Run Report.     This was given by Iceman. He told a joke about going to a pharmacy with a urine sample to test if it was sweet for its sugar content.

Arse Nic, Fuller Shit, Brutus, Two Dogs and Blackie were called into the circle for a down down.  Blackie was getting all the check runs right on his left side, but he missed a few on his right side. The run and the walk were considered to be tolerable. Miscarriage did well in the walk with his braced leg.

The GM did not have too much to say about the run, but he mentioned he remembered the two deserters from last week, who sneaked away early.

Arse Nic’s wife asked how did he get his name. He replied that she should phone Ball Point and ask him.  When she phoned Ball Point he told her, he was asked by Arse Nic to phone her about that.

The GM mentioned how a wife named a first person in the hash group. This was Bent Banana and her name was Banana Bender. Very clever side to things.

Slab mentions the relay race at Lightning Ridge. The Gold Coast has a team of 12 participants. They will participate in swimming, running, drinking and riding, getting lost or any other activities.

Nosh report.     Our birthday boy Sir Arse Hole gave this report. He was very pleased about the food and said it was a great meal. A Birthday down down was given to this man.

Prick of the Week.   Miscarriage had to hand the trophy back. It was a bit of a difficult task, as he couldn’t select a runner who deserved it. (There was no one else) A photograph of the 1986 runners was shown in the circle. One of the members was Slab, a very young person at that time. A joke was told about an inheritance paid to a person of $10,000. But this was a mistake. It was for one dollar as the decimal point was a mistakenly placed in the wrong position.

Sir Prince Valliant mentions how a certain hash member; Named Miscarriage received some money from him for a loan. After depositing a large sum of money into Miscarriage’s bank account, it was advised that there was a mistake in the account number. Trying to rectify this problem was difficult. Having to renegotiate with the banks to change the account number.  A down down was given to Sir Prince Valliant.

 

Magician entered into the circle with a charge. A gentleman bought a brand-new car and did not know how to lock the door. That certain gentleman had to take his car back to the dealers to solve the problem. This gentleman was Shat.

Next week’s run.    This will probably be at the Pony Club as Ball Point is the hare.

The GM reminds hash runners about the Southport walk and bike ride organised by the City Council on 19th August 2018. Also, about Christmas in July lunch this Friday 27^th at Costa D’oro. Please register your attendances on line as large numbers are expected.

 

Quote of the night.  Winston Churchill.    “A good speech should be like a woman’s skirt; long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest.”

 

8.50pm.   Ferret closed the circle.

Date: 16th July  2018……………………………….
Location: Chevron Island …………………………
Runners: 36…………………………………………..
Run Pictures………………………………………….

On our approach to the park it was delightful to see that tables were already in place with chairs.  Some one had arrived early and sorted out the seating.

The returning runners found it difficult to find and follow all the arrows on the pavements. Did they not know this was a French theme run, and the French chalk arrows are easily eradicated by Croatians pedestrains from the recent soccer final?

The kitchen bitch on this cool evening was Kwakka. He was supported by his Italian wife Salvana and Carroll. What a team.  The hot sausage rolls with sweet chilli sauce did a magic trick; it disappeared as soon as it hit the tables. The lasagna was superb and very tasty.  Compliments to the cook.

Ball Point could not stay away and turned up late so not to miss the good nosh.

 

Circled opened at 8.10pm.

Our great GM Weekly was dressed up like Napoleon. Was that a real sabre he was wearing? It was French Bastille night. (July 14^th 1789)

Thee Winston Churchill is not with us to night.. He is suffering from a hang over as Britton missed out on the World Soccer Cup final

 

Run Report.   The hare was called into the circle and Ice Man was “bemused” about the run. The run had various arrows and some were well hidden. A runner from the peripheral wanted to know who marked the un- seen arrows.

A hare is required to replace Sweat Hogs’ for Caustics run on 30th August 2018.

 

Nose Report.   All agreed with Botcho that it was a magnificent lasagna, salad and garlic rolls. The meal was followed up with ice cream and chocolate mousse. Cold French ales supplied by the booze master. A well deserved down down for the cooks.

 

An enquiry was made about Bren Gun’s lack of presence.  Looks like his mates missed him.

RA Hal Al directed a charge to Excel Pet.  This runner is like the Long Lasting Duracell battery. He just kept on running after he was advised to stop at the last arrow.

A down down were given to Excel Pet and Ferrett as he abandoned his new black nightie awarded to him last week.  Another down down to Ball Point and Kwakka as it was believed they were pro Croatians supporters.

Then came another down down for Blackie for doing well in racing his sports/racing car against others on the track. It is said that he keeps one eye open for that opening position to be ahead of other competitors.

The GM was pleased about his sponsored clipboard presented by AH Painters. Now he can keep his papers in order. He asks all of us to think about a name to be given to our new runner Nick. Ball Point mentions he had introduced Nick to this iniquitous group.

Nick for most of his life has been known as TITS.  New hash names were flying about everywhere and one name was settled on.

Nick was now knighted by the GM as ARSE NIC. A down down was in order for this new members name.

The run was about to close and Fanny Charmer and Missing Link thought they could sneak away early into the darkness of the cold night. No such luck. They were down downed for this. (May be they should receive the black nightie)

The GM gave the quote of the week by Alexandra Dumas  (Author of The Three Musketeers book).  “The great question, which I have not been able to answer, what does a woman want?”

Next weeks run.  20 Expo Court, Ashmore.

 

Circled was closed at 8.45pm.

Until next week.

 

On On Sec.

Date: 9th July  2018……………………………….
Location: Mudgeeraba …………………………
Runners: 35…………………………………………..
Run Pictures………………………………………….

This night was quite chilly, plenty of parking but with virtually no street lighting.

 

The run was on paved areas around the park. In the dark park a torch was necessary to complete this run.

 

It was heard that Bent Banana was advised not to follow Blackie, as he gets lost.

 

Sir Slab took the easy way out by riding his bicycle around the run. We didn’t notice any bike lights so he must have good night vision.

 

On the runners return, the tables were set up and the un-lit area was now ablaze with two strings of LED lights.  This blazed away like a runaway landing zone. Truckie made light work of this set up.

 

The kitchen bitch was Bent Banana, and he was bent over the gas BBQ box hanging out of the trailer. Appetizing aroma of the evening meal was penetrating the cold evening.

 

S-Bends our booze master, advises all the runners, now in their winter gear, that it is Now Loved Birthday this evening.

 

We were concerned that one of our runners, Ball Bag had not returned. Maybe he forgot to turn his torch on to find his way back in the dark.

 

We all missed our welcome hot soup on this cold night from previous weeks.

 

GM Weekly opened the circle at 8.10pm.

 

He advised the circle that there would be no Winston Churchill present here tonight, as he is over in England attending the Grand Soccer game.  Never to mention that there was no cigar to chew on. It is said that he is visiting the War Office about the cigar disappearance.

 

Returning runners.     This was Sir Ferrett and the Kitchen Bitch.

 

VD our hare of tonight’s run was in the circle.  Truckie gave the note for the down down.

 

Ice Man was encouraged into the circle and he told a joke about the Kiwis shopping at Surfers Paradise. They went into the shop and they said they were looking at all the clothes. The shop assistant advised they were in a Dry Cleaning Shop.

 

Run report.     This was a well marked, chalk arrows could be clearly seen in the darkest of the nights with a torch. There were good check back marks on the route.

 

Something did go wrong with a check- back marking.  It went the wrong way around when viewed from the top.

 

Our GM, only on this occasion complements Ice Man on his view of the run. Fuller Shit mentions how Bent Banana had the easy task of cycling around the run route.

A down down was ordered to the hare on the run report.

 

The GM Weekly presented Sir Ferrett with a sexy black nightie, as all runners thought he was an old woman and deserved this special gift.  He likes to be home in time and watch his favorite TV show.  To night he will be rushing home to try his new black nightie on.  A down down followed the presentation.

 

GM called on Fanny Charmer to give the Nosh Report.

 

Fanny Charmer inquired how come only a few received the BBQ steaks. He was joking, he probably mistook the BBQ patties for steaks. He has to take off his reading glasses to see properly.

 

The BBQ hamburgers went down very well with the cold and hungry runners.

 

The desserts were good and some even went for seconds.

 

Our RA was Sweat Hog. He was instructed to enter the circle. And a Happy Birthday was sung for Now Loved.

 

Miscarriage advises that this night is also a 700th run occasion.

 

An historic run report was read out to all about a run during that time. This bought out old memories for some of the older runners.

 

A poem was also read out, and appropriately named “Hash Mans lament”. This was eloquently read out by Phantom.

 

The GM presented a blue cap for the 700 half runs achievements.  A down down followed for Sir Prince Valiant.

 

The RA called Fuller Shit and Ball Bag into the circle, as Fuller Shit left his mate behind and he failed to honour the order of conduct, where a person never leaves a mate behind.

 

Ball Bag returned late, as his torch was not working or forgot to put it on and got lost. Ball Bag had to knock on a residence door to view an Ipad to see where he was.  Fuller shit had left him behind.  A common saying,   “he was left in the dark.”

Well deserved down down was in order for this lost mate.

He did tell a few good jokes in the circle with much laughter from runners.

 

The RA instructed the hare back into the circle. He advised the runners that when he questioned where the run went to and the direction it took, the hare forgot where he had marked the run.

The RA requested Sir Slab to perform a down down for picking on Fanny Charmer.  Telling him not to forget the food report amongst other things. However he was already prepared.

 

Josephine told a joke in the circle concerning the size of people’s feet. He called on Miscarriage to enter the circle.  Attention was drawn to the size of Miscarriage’s boots. Maybe this man was Big Foot in disguise and even the cow that kicked him made this mistake.

 

The GM mentions that our new member Nick required a hash name. Titly was his family name. There was a combination of synonyms to this name of Titly.  Next week will bring more thought on this. Tetley teabag sounding surname is a good option. He was given a down down for completing the run tonight.

 

Prick of the week.      The following members were called into the circle: Slab, Truckie, Josephine, and Miscarriage. Slab because he was eating his leftover lunch tonight. All were directed to leave the circle except for Miscarriage.

As he is renowned for fronting up with the City Council and saving others from future confrontation and so saving money giving advise to others.  Another down down.

 

The GM presented a white T-shirt as lost property. No one owned up and it is assumed that it should be given to the new member Nick.

 

Next week’s run.  This run will be at Chevron Island, Surfers Paradise.

 

The GM advises that there is no Winston Churchill quote it was felt to be too deep for runners to understand. So now there is a new approach and using new quotes.

 

Quote of the Week.       David King.

 

“When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her”

 

 

Bent Banana terminated the circle at 8.57pm.

 

 

On On Sec.

Date: 2nd July  2018………………………………..
Location: Main Beach ………………………………
Runners: 33…………………………………………..
Run Pictures………………………………………….

There was plenty of parking for all in a well-lit area. The chilly breeze abated leaving the evening very pleasant for a winter’s night.

 

S- Bends, our dedicated Booze Master, reminds us of America’s independence. Any reason to have a beer and celebrate.     Oldies beers will be $3.50 each.  Special Coors brew from the Rocky Mountains of the High Country Colorado is available for American Independence Day on the 4th July.

Very good value bottled wines are now available; the Shiraz wine will only be in casks.

The welcome Birthday beers will be made available, only after all runners have made it back to the start. The Down- Downs will have more of a kick with light beer or otherwise requested.

Sweat Hog, the hare explained the chalked arrows to the runners and reminded that there were a few check marks in place on the run.

 

There was congratulation for one of our senior runners. Blackie. He is like the Johnny Walker whiskey advertisements, still running after 78 years. Well done.

Aussie played Father Christmas in July by donating a bag of T-shirts to all to help them selves to. Some pleased faces were noticed.

It was good to see Miscarriage back at the circle. His braced leg looked uncomfortable for him from that painful cow-kick a few weeks back. A speedy recovery Miscarriage.

 

Circle commenced at 8.05pm.

 

GM Weekly advises there are some serious items to get through. Firstly the War Office is active in investigating the disappearance of the Winston Churchill cigar from last week.

As a last resort the GM had a spare, but failed to locate it in his attire. After a while this was retrieved from deep packets with many other nasty items. Maybe the missing one is in the Top pocket. The case continues. There must be a smoking gun around somewhere!?

 

The Booze Master, S-Bends further informs of the changes of the beer and wine price. All requests will be considered on the Down –Downs.

 

Run Report. Missing Link.  This was a good run and marked arrows were well displayed. Nasty reported the run as excellent.

Nosh report.  This was a good traditional meal. The rise was well cooked and the bread rolls buttered on both sides. What more can one ask for?

 

Prick of the Week. Truckie entered the circle with the carry bag. The trophy was to be given over to Caustic or Nasty. Nasty received this as Caustic was absent. A down down followed.

1. Sweat Hog. He was pleased about how well the Splinter Lunch turned out.

 

After a joke of a wife asking her husband if he could survive on $800 a year as this was the equivalent of his spending on a lady of the night.

Botcho, Carefree, Proxy and Hard On and later Shat were in the circle.  After further friendly teasing all were given a down down.

 

The GM gave a run – down of some special planed events. There is to be a bike ride starting from the Southport Council Chambers. The ride required answers about Southport surrounds and history. The answers are to be noted in Passports. These will be made available to all riders or walkers. The date will be on 9^th August 2018 starting at 9:30am.

Kwakka and VD will be doing the next two runs. This is said to be a French Run.

 

A Happy Birthday was sung in honour of Blackie for attaining a senior age. There is a runner more senior in age, but no name was mentioned. I wonder who this is?

 

Mention was given to Swollen Colon’s birthday on Saturday night. All enjoyed this occasion. Swollen Colon was in full swing entertaining all his friends though out the evening. Unfortunately he over hydrated and had trouble negotiating the run route on Sunday’s marathon. The ambulant crews had to be advised of his delicate position.

 

Antonia, a passing stranger on a bike was encouraged into the circle as he was curious about all these people having fun in the car park.  A runner dinged the stranger’s bikes bell, the GM rang his own on the walking stick and a bell melody was created. The Bells of Sundale Bridge.

 

We were advised that Nasty was in training for a Hollywood stunt man. He now has had plenty of practice of going head over heels on his pushbike handlebars. He does this over and over again. He is ahead of every one else at this.

A charge was laid against S-Bends by Swollen Colon. Why the hell did the cooler box contain a bottle opener if all beer cans had a self-opening tag on each can? Is this a trick question?

The GM mentions that our new member Nick has no name as yet.

Nick was requested to close the circle. The runners were invited to stay behind to enjoy a social drink.

THERE IS NOTHING GOVERNMENT CAN GIVE YOU THAT IT HASN’T TAKEN FROM YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE.

 

Circle closed at 8.45pm.

 

On On.  Sec.

Date: 25th June  2018…………………………..
Location: Main Beach ………………………………
Runners: 35…………………………………………..
Run Pictures………………………………………….

The night was cool with the sea freeze blowing off the near by ocean.

The parking and meeting area was spacious and well lit from well-elevated council light poles.

Truck Tyres had a free evening as he did not have much to do about the lighting.

All good and all ready to go.  Oh no.! Here comes Swollen Colon to break the silence of the cold chill of the night. Fire works in the garbage bin took every one by surprise. Our visiting night birds, Bush Stone- curlews took off in fright leaving only their tail feathers behind.

 

The circle opened at 8.06pm

As every one were so comfortable with friendly chatter and seated after the run, the kind GM Weekly declared that the circle would be a sit-down one.  All were very pleased about this change.  Vehicle keys will be confiscated until equipment was repacked into the hash trailer.

Then there was another explosion from the cracker man. Now all were fully awake again. This also included the Anti Tourist Unit, Police Air helicopter flew overhead checking us out.

The GM was enquiring where is his last week’s gift of a stubby holder got to. He was pleased it was returned.

Booze Master.   A blue beer can was raised up for all to notice. Maroons mugs were given by Two Dogs. The Maroon’s flag was also waved around as rivalry.

Prick of the week took a down down.

Josephine had suggested that specials to be sort when purchasing booze. The booze master noted this.

 

Visitors and returning runners.   This was a visitor from last week. . Welcome back Nick

Welcome back Crocodile. There was applause from the runners. In his little tale- telling, he mentioned he had now about 37 trailers in his possession. There was a welcome down down for him.

Hare.  This was Magician and Ice Man. The runners noticed his particular T-shirt. Explanation was given that it was a Korean hash shirt. Was all this Bull Shit?

Run Report.    Was given not to offend. The run assembled a challenge to all. There was a “frugality” of chalk arrows that marked the way. Runners were lucky, as no person came across the escaped Boa constrictor in the area.

Walk Report.  Sir Slab. He mentioned some runners saw only two arrows. These must have been one at the start, and the other one at the finish.

Nosh Report.  Crocodile.  Wonderful food. ( Who was he trying to impress). He went on to say he would be visiting again in six months once he recovered from the night’s meal. (That is more like it)  There was a grand taste of a burnt dinner and not from   spices used, as all thought it was.

We were informed that our night’s visitor Nick would be joining us. Welcome.

There were comments from runners that his joining will bring down the average age of all of the old farts of the group. This does not apply to Brewtus.  He is a fart on his own trail.

Crocodile told a tale about an old Indian that had to sell some thing before he joined a hash group. Black Pirate had a hand in this. A runner was to be renamed Tampon Top and he was not seen again in the hash group. There was a name change back to Dark Horse.

 

Train Ride.  This was a good day out organized by Botcho.

1. There was a chorus of hooray from the runners. The night’s meal had obtained that smoked taste some how. That cracker taste from gun powder in the air.

Swollen Colon last week was tasked by Ball Point, to look after our visitor Nick and take care of him on the run. All went well until going up the hill. After the climb, Nick was nowhere to be seen.  On his own now, Swollen Colon was concerned about loosing his running partner in the dark bush.   A down down was given to this lost runner.

 

Prick of the Week.    Magician.  A pay back for that smoky tasting meal. Never the less, the hot soup was welcome and tasted good.

GM Weekly brings order and then presents caps to honour some runners.

These were, Missing Link. 850 Runs.   Proxy 150 Runs.  Sweat Hog  50 Runs.  Well-done fellows.

Sir Rabbit explains that Friday’s Splinter lunch is at Gav’s Steak House.

Our rocket man, Swollen Colon is having his Big 60th birthday on Saturday 30^th June. All are invited to celebrate at the Benowa Bowls Club at 7pm. A very Happy Birthday Rocket Man.

Next weeks run will be near the Sundale Bridge area.

 

Quote of the week given by the GM.

 

Winton Churchill.    “One man with conviction will overwhelm a hundred who have only opinions.”

 

Circle closed by Nick at 8.50pm.

 

On On .Sec.

 

Note. A certain person removed the Winton Churchill cigar belonging to our GM. He wants it back. The GM is calling out the War Office personal to track this smoking gun. Be warned.  Smoke it at your own peril.!!