Author Archives: Botcho

Run 2129…Sir Slab & Sir Prince

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Date: 20th August  2018………………………….
Location: Robina ……………………………….
Runners: 46…………………………………………….
Run Pictures………………………………………….

The runners reported that it was a good run. There were a few times where the trail markings went cold. After a little bit of searching the chalk arrows was found. The running area was a maze of lanes and roads, which makes things interesting.

 

On returning we noticed that there were bowls of Bean Sprout Soup with Beef on the tables. It did not take long and the runners were faced down consuming the favored dish. This was a meal in it self.

Another added surprise is that this was followed by Beef mince in a cradle of fresh Green Lettuce.  Again to our surprise, it was followed by desert of deep fried banana topped with ice cream. This was a second week of a great nosh evening. The cooks did a fantastic job.

 

8:16 PM.  Fanny Chalmer was the GM for tonight. (Stand in for GM Weekly)

S-Bends informs that tonight, is the night of three of our birthday boys. Slab, Phantom, and VD. These special runners were called into the circle and a Happy Birthday chorus was sung to them. Tonight’s turn out by runners is amazing, and running mates gave Birthday wishes to the Birthday Boys.  All enjoyed the low cost beer.

 

Run report.  Brutus gave this report. He said it was a great run. Botcho added to the comment saying it was magnificent as was the nosh.

 

Tonight hares.  SIR SLAB AND SIR PRINCE, were called into the circle for a down down.   (Much bigger than the Coles add) A big many thanks for excellent nosh.

Some runners enquired about next week’s run as they thought the last two runs were difficult to beat.

 

Commonwealth bike ride in Southport. 19th August 2018.

Ball Bag was questioned why he was absent from this event. He endeavored to give some lame excuse but that was, disregarded by the runners. Never the less he was given a down down.

Ball Bag then proceeded to give a story about fishing, which brought much laugher to the runners.

Poxy tonight also celebrates the arrival his fourth grand daughter. A down down proceeded for this Grand Dad. Poxy also tells a joke about a nurse examining some guys black testicles. This also has the runners in fits of laughter.

One of our favorite joke tellers, Ice Man, told a joke about a centipede where a lot of time was taken to start a run, as there were a lot of running shoes to be laced up.

KB entered the circle to mention that the run and nosh of the last Monday’s night run was a combined effort of participating team members of the runners. He thanks everybody for all the hard work in the preparation and the cleaning up afterwards.

We were also informed that Miscarriage was a trained butcher. In the past he had his own butcher shop. It was called “Eat My Meat”. No further comment. We’re also told that he placed his father into an old age home. Only to go around chasing all the nurses. He was given a down down for his kindness bestowed on his father.

 

Visitors.   These were drawn into the circle to give a short brief about them self’s. Warm welcome goes to Derrick (Gold Coast), Ly (Cambodia) Peter (Tally) and Sprung.

 

The GM was very pleased about the turn out of runners this evening. He thanked all for making these runs so great and thanks all for their attendance.

To close the evening off in the right mood, Fuller Shit tells a joke about a person going into a sex shop to buy a vibrator for a lady friend

 

Next week’s run. This will at 25 Argyle Crescent. Bundall.

Splinter Lunch. 24th August 2018. This is to be at Goa Indian Restaurant, Main Beach.

 

8.40pm.   Sir Jo was called to end the circle.

Run 2128…KB & Sir Botcho

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Date: 13th August  2018………………………….
Location: Southport ……………………………….
Runners: 49…………………………………………….
Run Pictures………………………………………….

 

Tonight’s run is to celebrate Joe’s birthday and congratulate him on his completion of his 1000th run. Well-done Joe.

S-Bends, our drinks master extends free beer and free tucker to Joe on this special day.

Tonight’s cooks will be Botcha and Kitchen Bitch (KB.) They looked good in their catering uniforms.

The tables over a high roof were beautifully dressed in black tablecloths with white porcelain plates under a well-lit area. What a great place for all of us to meet.

 

The run was well marked and made it easy to do the run.  There was good attendance but a few mates or runners were absent. They would have enjoyed the evening. Maybe these people could be contacted by their mates and encouraged to attend.

 

7:25 PM.  The runners are called to take their seats. This was to be a special occasion as there was waiter service available. Many thanks to Arse Nic and others for being such good waiters.cook

The first course to come out of the kitchen was prawn cocktail with slices of Avocado Pear on tasty baked bread.

Later out came the second course consisting of roast lamb with mint sauce, green peas and baked potatoes. What a feast this was.

 

9:50 PM.    Circle opened.

Visitors and returning runners.   This was Bum Crack, Mickey Pedia, Rock Hard and Derek.

The hares were KB and Botcho. All runners were good on the trial all the way. It was neither to long nor to short. Some how on this run the runners and the walkers came together near the end.

Run report.   This was giving by Two Dogs and he mentioned he had to catch up with our GM Weekly.  Botcho requested beers for his down  down as this was now the new policy. He commented how hard the cooks worked in the kitchen. All runners cheered and welcomed the down down to Botcho and KB.

Nosh report.     Many described this as brilliant. May be the best of the year.

With a record turn out of participants. A well deserved down down was given.

Sir Joe had to be Knighted by GM Weekly before the chocolate birthday cake had to be sliced up into manageable pieces. Sir Joe was instructed to kneel and the GM placed his sword on his shoulder and declared that he was now called Sir Joe. All cheered and clapped in approval.

 

The cake then was served with generously coated ice cream and grated chocolate on top.cake

The GM presented a black Hash jacket to Sir Joe. It took 30 years of running to be awarded this honour tonight.

KB was praised for his past efforts and contributions.  KB then paid tribute to all his 50 friends and runners he had around him tonight.

Two Dogs had the honour to award the down down.

GM requested Care Free to enter the circle. A cap was presented for achieving 100 runs. Hal Al awarded the down down.

 

Bike Ride.      It is scheduled for next Sunday. All are encouraged to participate and bring family and friends. The bike ride will commence at the Council Chambers in Southport. A passport or instruction booklet will be handed out to the participants.

A reminder about the lunch at Goa Indian Fusion Restaurant, Main Beach on the 24th Aug 2018.

For their heckling of the GM tonight, Kwakka and Caustic were punished with a down down.

There was much excitement and glee when runners were notified that the GM could not be in intendance next week.

 

Prick of the Week.    Poxy called into the circle, Sir Rabbit, Ball Point, Mad Mike and Wrongway.  Some how Wrongway received this POW trophy for a past nosh up.

Sweathog told a joke. Afterwards all wanted to know where Iceman was.

Swollen Colon, Shat, Bum Crack were called into the circle. These runners were placed into certain order to demonstrate a chain of events of tonight’s nosh. Firstly the nosh went into Swollen Colon, then into Bum Crack and lastly out of Shat.

S –Bends advised that we all had a great birthday night, but next week we celebrate three birthdays.  So all booze will be one dollar each. Now you know why the GM will not be here, too much fun for him!!

A charge was presented by Circumference. This was to high light a Red Shoe night worn both by Truckie and Mike. One could see these runners red shoes, a long way off.

Next weeks run.  This is planned to be in Robina, Cheltenham Drive.

Joke of the week.

 

A Chinese Guy comes into the pub, stands next to me and starts drinking. I said to him, do you know any of those martial arts, like kung Fu,Ju-jitsu or Karate?      He says why Da fuk you ask me dat, is it coz I Chinese?   No I said it’s because you’re drinking my Fucking Beer!!!

 

Circled closed at 9.35pm.

 

That’s all for now.

 

ON ON   Sec

Run 2127…Slug

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Date: 6 th August  2018………………………….
Location: Miami …………………………………….
Runners: 36………………………………………………
Run Pictures………………………………………….

Right on cue, down came the rain as hashers drove to the Miami venue. While every hasher knows how important rain is at the moment, its just not needed between 5 pm and 7:30 pm on Monday nights. Much to the hare’s relief, it was just a shower in the vicinity of the trail or as one bushie described light rain on television as just angels pissing in the clouds. As usual the hare gave instructions on what the arrows/paper would look like on trail which never ceases to amaze all when really its the same shit every Monday night, year in /year out. The trail went north and then west in the vicinity of the beach and then the GC highway.
The arrows were well marked but as Ball Bag noted , not a bloody check in sight all night. Near Miami SHS, some found the trail over the GC highway while others didn’t. Sir Blackie remarked what a black night it was and decided to head home before he possibly took a fall.
It wasn’t long until all hashers were back and had a beverage in their hands and found some nibbles which were well hidden on the BBQ’s by the darkness. This was the start of a 3x1x3 menu provided by the hare. There were 3 dips , 1 pasta dish and 3 cakes to choose from. KB assisted with portion control after Sir Ferret had organised the conga line of hungry hashers banging on the plates for a feed.  Swollen Colon reckoned he missed out on the rice which he had seen but was assured no one had rice with their pasta.
With the carbo loading complete, the GM called the circle and first out were the returning runners and visitors. Up stepped KB, Sir Blackie. Hot Dick and Bruce. The latter didn’t blink an eyelid even after the hash pyromaniac had exploded a banger in the vicinity of his clacker. Slug as the hare received a down down and a good run report from Two Dogs, one of the few hashers that found the whole trail. All agreed the nosh was good.  In the absence of the current POW, it will be carried over by Poxy currently in FNQ.
RA Sweathog stepped up to the plate and reminded us of his fundraising rally for prostrate cancer. Ball Point also reminded us of his fund raising night for the Broadbeach School tuckshop which might be a good hash nosh venue down the track. The GM made donations to both.
Sir Ferret gave a report on the Lightning Ridge hash relay where all teams were declared dead heat joint winners. As we all know if you go touring west of the Great Divide in this country, shit can happen. Sir Ferret told that Croc had 3 experiences in his new camper loosing a bedroom window, a collapsing bike rack and wrecked electric bike after leaving the weekend relay event. Prior to that there was another minor scrape to his camper while reversing in a caravan park.
Random minor explosions from the pyromaniac and constant farting from some hasher with foul bowels were becoming a major distraction to the GM. Then the constant chatter from hashers showing no respect caused the GM to announce that he had no choice but to bring water torture back to the circle. So we have been warned, icings may be coming during future circles. Aussie was a given a yellow card and down down as an example for circle disruption.
Brewtus and Slug captured a few of these hashers in photos as they did their deeds of distraction.
Ball Bags had a crack at a few jokes which resulted in a chorus begging for the return of Iceman.
Next weeks run is the investiture of Josephine as a Knight of the hash realm. He will even have a jog before receiving his title. Hopefully Elvis will be back from the USSR to perform as the hare for the evening. No prises for guessing what will be on the nosh menu.
In a sign of solidarity, the GM announced it was a group closure to the circle. As the chorus of End of Circle rang out, there was a sigh of relief from the guests in the cabin nearest the car park who had paid top dollar for a peaceful evening listening to the gentle waves from their balcony but had to put up with constant explosions and noise from the circle.
A hasher who had consumed cheap red coloured cans of XXXX heavy beer during the evening was observed driving home north in his similar coloured car for several hundred metres in the middle of the road above the white line, maybe thinking he was still on trail. Thankfully he finally came to his senses or his passengers alerted him before the vehicle came to the attention of other road users including the local boys in blue randomly on patrol. The dash cam footage would be interesting viewing if you were coming from the opposite direction.
ON ON
CIRCUMFERENCE(on secondment for a couple of weeks from AAP ROOTERS)

Run 2126…Ball Point & Sweat Hog

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Date: 30th July  2018……………………………….
Location: Nerang ………………………………..
Runners: 28…………………………………………..
Run Pictures………………………………………….

Ball Point was the hare for this evenings run. He demonstrated by using flower to indicate the run markings.

The returning runners thought that it was well marked. This run was in very dark woods and required a good torch to get around.

Truckie returned in good time with the others. We all noticed he shot off to do another circuit of the run. Did he really enjoy the first time around to do another?

We soon realized that he thought he had lost his mobile phone on the trail, and off be went to locate it. After some runner dialing his number, the phone rang in Sweat Hog’s 4×4. Bingo. Phone found.

Circumference and Ball Point returned last as they took the long way around. The runners said they should be charged extra for the longer run they completed.

 

8:20 PM.     Our GM Weekly dressed as Winston Churchill opened the circle. He congratulated all runners in returning in such a strange and dark area.

 

Visitors and returning runners.    Swollen Colon, Woodsie, Brendon, and Fox Trot Oscar. These runners were given a note and a down down.

The GM brings the hare, Ballpoint into the circle. The GM had good reason to believe that ballpoint had actually hijacked his cigar. This was denied. Did MI 5 get it wrong?

 

Run Report.  Carefree commented on the run report. A lot of difficulty had to be endured in this virgin country. There was plenty of tree roots on the trail and he was rooted when he finished the run. After all he did complete at least 10 meters of the run. He added that these runs were fantastic, but this run should be started at 5 PM, so all can enjoy the bush while it was light enough to do so.

Ball Point and Sweat Hog were called into the circle and a down down was awarded to them.

Ball Bag commented further on the run. It was difficult to keep up with the runners, as they were unable to overtake others on the path, as it was to narrow from the growth of vegetation.

 

Prick of the Week.   Sir Prince off loaded this POW trophy. There were two nominations for this trophy. First nomination was Truckie, for losing his mobile phone.  Second nomination was Proxy. He was the last person to leave the recent Splinter lunch in an inebriated way.  A well deserved down down were given to these fellows.

 

Nosh report.  A big hot pot of beef and bean stew was served with fully cooked non-burnt rice to the hungry runners. Hot apple pies and custard followed later.

 

The RA report.     There is plan for a car rally and all will be receiving an email about this car rally.  It will be in South Australia and some parts into the Simpson Desert. It may be possible to visit Broken Hill as well.

Truckie and Fuller Shit were tasked with bringing the trailer to the run tonight. There was some misunderstanding about this.  There was no water pump working to refill the water tank among other little concerns.  With good reason they were given a down down by Circumference.

There was a joke about a guy who was sick down his shirt.  To explain this to the wife, he put $20 in the shirt pocket saying an intoxicated man was sick on him, and donated $20 for the inconvenience. The wife found $40. She was further advised that this extra $20 was for the shit in his shorts. Fanny Charmer took a down down and it was mentioned he was in the running for next years GM.

The GM reminds runners of the bike ride/ walk on the 19th of August at 9.30 AM. This will commence at the Southport Council Chambers. Now this should be fun.!

 

Next week’s run.   At the moment it is unknown as the hare is not present.

The next Splinter lunch will be August 24th.  To be held at Goa Indian Fusion Restaurant on Teddler Avenue, Maim Beach.

 

Charge from the floor.    Fuller Shit was called into the circle by Ball Point. He informed us that he telephoned Fuller Shit about towing the trailer. Fuller Shit advised that he thought that tonight’s run was unsafe, dark and did not want to get lost in the dark bush. What a whimp.!

Ballpoint further informs that he is organizing a fun night. This will be a trivia night on a Friday with plenty of nosh and piss. All are invited.

Ice Man told a good joke that had most reeling in laughter.

 

Quote of the week by Winston Churchill.

 

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty”

 

The GM calls Fanny Charmer and Missing Link into the circle. Two weeks ago they tried to slip away early.  For their misadventure, they were tasked to close the circle.

 

8.55pm.  Circle closed.

 

ON ON.