Date: 22nd October  2018……………………..
Location:Chevron Island ……………………….
Runners: 40…………………………………………..
Run Pictures……………………………………..

Chevron Island. Shat Residence.

This was a perfect evening for a run. Shat’s residence or double garage was well lit and had plenty of room to accommodate all hash runners.

The GM Weekly called together the runners, and tonight’s run explained to them. S-Bends, the booze master advised that the beers would be one Dollar. Wine and other drinks remained the usual price. This brought cheer to all the runners.

Miss Carriage arrives late with his newly acquired stainless steel wire brace, as he broke one of his fingers. That cow that cow kicked him a few months ago, has not forgiven him. It is no good pointing fingers at any one. He later explained that he accidently fell for her. (He has to be more cow full in the future.) But in good sprit as always, he sprinted away to catch up to the other runners.

The nosh was excellent and was prepared by Botcho, Black Stump and S-Bends. The grilled salmon was to die for. Plenty of fresh salads complemented the fish dish. The dessert was vanilla ice cream with a generous helping of sticky date pudding. If you were not at this hash run, you missed a great nosh.

8:45pm.  Our GM Weekly disguised as Winton Churchill opened the circle. He had a whinge about his cigar that went missing again. He turned to Ball Point to enquire if he helped himself to it once again!     Ball Point always gets it in the neck. Wonder why?

Returning runners.    Kwakka, Slab, Miss Carriage, Shat, Poxy, Hot Dick, Prince Valliant.  Keith and Arthur.   A cheerful down down was ordered for them all.

Hare.  This was Shat and a jolly down down was awarded to him for his good efforts.

Some how on the run Sir Prince and Shat could not solve how to prise open a pole fence. Aussie came along and saved the night for all to get through.

Run report.   This was delivered, short and sweet, by Foxtrot Oscar.   “It was a good run”.

Miss Carriage was called into the circle and he explained what misadventure took place to break his finger.

We were informed that Rock Hard was out of hospital after his treatment and was recovering well. He liked to thank all his hash mates for all their communications with him.  Phone a friend and ask. Are you OK mate?

Ice Man joked about one of the hash fellows whom had the same name, that of a well-known criminal.

Brewtus gave the down down to Peter.

The RA told a joke of a person that he had so much sex that he died from over indulgence.

Shat calls on Hard On to tell a story about a bottle of wine that a lady from Costa Dora Restaurant gave him. This half finished bottle of red wine was placed into his backpack when he was offered a lift home. The cork came out and the red wine leaked out all over the seats and floor carpets. A big clean up had to be done. Not only the wine was red that day.

Bruce was called to entre the circle and a down down was awarded to him for past mishaps.

The GM was showered with gifts. A Swiss Army Knife was presented by Shat. Kawaka followed up by presenting a cap that had built- in sunglasses. Magician presented a black skullcap; it doubled up to be used as a scarf and a bandanna.  The GM will look good as a hit man.

POW.  Fanny Charmer wanted to present this to Bren Gun. A few weeks back while Shat was away, he did not allow the hash runners to raid Shat’s wine cellar.

After some debate, the POW was presented to Sweat Hog, as he will be away in a few weeks time.

Sweat Hog told a joke about why Hungry Jacks is loosing customers.

Booze Master report.    Reminder about Friday’s luncheon.

Jig Saw is progressing well and now is out of hospital. All hash mates wish him and his family well. Give him a ring.    Are you OK mate?

Next weeks run. Botcho reminds runners that it is Halloween night and to be dressed for it.

There was abuse and nuisance toward the GM. Missing Link was pulled into the circle for his bad behavior and took a down down.

Quote of the Week.  Winston Churchill.   “However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results”.

9:25pm. Circle closed by Foxtrot Oscar.

On On

Fuck All

On Sec

 

 

 

 

 

Date: 15 th October  2018……………………..
Location:Main Beach …………………………….
Runners: 24…………………………………………..
Run Pictures……………………………………..

his run was during the uncertain conditions of the incumbent conditions of a second week wet period with high winds.

But the show had to go on. After all this is the hash motto. “On On”.

 

GM Weekly gathered the wind blown runners together after a rather good run of the circuit, on some of the Gold Coast 600 car race way.

 

Returning runners.  This was Truckie and Elvis.

 

The hare was Sir Two Dogs and S- Bends was our favorite booze master.

The RA was Sweat Hog.  He told a few laughable jokes.

 

Run / Walk report.  Given by Brewtus. He was pleased to report that it was a good run and it was well marked.

Food Report.  For the nights run, the Southport Surf Club supplied the meals. The meals arrived quickly and piping hot. This was an excellent alternative venue and arrangement to stay out of the wet and wild weather.

 

Prick of the week.   Some runs back, this was unceremoniously presented to Wrong Way.

Was this POW going to Hal Al orFanny Charmer?

Fanny Charmer some time ago advocated that it was a great tradition to keep this in the hash meetings. So guess who received this traditional phallus symbol.

 

Quote of the evening.  Our Lady Helen, also known as Mrs. Sir Black Stump. After completion of a racecar meeting by him, quoted this.

 

“He (Black Stump) enjoys life. He certainly enjoys his life.”

We can take a message from his Lady and her adventurous Gentleman.

 

Next weeks run.  This will be arranged by Shat and will be advised of the venue during the week.

 

A gentle reminder about the midday luncheon at Cav’s Steak House on the 26^th October 2018.  Please phone your mates and remind them. Are you OK MATE?

 

End of Circle.  Foxtrot Oscar closed the meeting.

On On. Scribe.      Many thanks go to the press-ganged scribes over the last 3 weeks.

V8 Handicap Results

Date: 8 th October  2018…………………………
Location:Broadbeach …………………………….
Runners: 25…………………………………………..
Run Pictures……………………………………..

 

Well after being chucked in the deep end last week, our esteemed GM Weekly grabbed me by the ankles and held my head underwater until I agreed to write the run report again. God help me I pray for the return of FA to get me out of this.
Circle opened at exactly 8.00pm. Weekly being a stickler for doing things by hours and half hours perhaps from some childhood fetish of sitting on the potty at set times. Weekly was without his signature cigar, he looked like a dehorned rhino, in fact he resembles that more than Churchill.

First up he called for returning runners and three stepped forward with dry tongues for a freebie –

• S Bends returned from a luxury cruise from north America to Japan,
• VD from the epic Iberian Peninsula Shathouse bike ride
• Swollen Colon, not sure where he returned from, probably the City    All got down downs.
• Arsenik called up for ten runs and given a 10 run T shirt. Does that mean those with 1,000 runs get 100 T shirts ??? Link gave him a note

Now Loved was pouring the down down drinks, he must be a “Trusty” of S Bends

We sat down to eat ,I happened to sit next to Hardon, I can assure you all that I did hear him breathing, well I think I did, so he remains above ground level for the time being. But saw him Wednesday and he informed me that next day he was ill from food contamination !!

KB  gave a note for Sweat Hog’s down down for   $200,000 raised on his recent outback epic journey where he traded Gold Coast beach sand for desert red sand. Well done RA.

Brew master S Bends gave a description of the special beer for the night – Chinese “Lucky Beer” to commerce the Long walk when Mao took power there.

Botcho reported on the run as “Fantastic went this way and that way over the railway line” – he can’t tell a train from a tram  – Blackie and Bent Banana were mentioned as runners of note.

Caustic C gave the walk report as “being in the moonlight , so torches were not necessary – how romantic. Foxtrot gave a note for the Hare, but as it was a bit weak, the heavy guns were called in Jigsaw!   He sang  like  Pavarotti  in opera – missed his calling in life

KB gave the food report saying that it was not from a noodle box, well how about that! – was that all he could think of ?? Well actually the burgers were from a bygone era – with beetroot and tinned pine apple they reminded me of my callow youth scoffing down a late night hamburger after failing to win a chick at the Saturday night dance in Launceston. I usually ended up with red beet stain over my white shirt, which I wore  with a narrow tie, reefer jacket and brown suede shoes, I thought I was another Errol Flynn. But a bit more history here – The hare Missing Link was in the same class at Launceston High as my brother Layup (Brisbane hash). Layup tells me that The Link was the most successful guy at seducing high school chicks and that he never missed out, much to the envy of the rest, who never made it. So the name Missing Link is not appropriate it should be Lucky  Link, or perhaps Pants Man Link – hash renaming here.

The Ra Sweat Hog called from noms from the floor. Botcho called Blackie for getting on the tram with no go card- probably does not have one and if caught would plead senility

KB called up Caustic C for buying a new car from a Honda  dealer – KB seems to think he has a Hash Monopoly.

B Banana called out Rabbit for a fishing trip with only one fish caught – worked out at $800 per Kg.

S Hog then acted like a stand up comic at an RSL bingo night, told a few corny jokes one about a NZ horse that talked, reminded me of those old Ed The Talking horse movies we kids loved.

Swollen Colon achieved 150 runs. He was called out and with  that ridiculous beanie, resembled a rotund garden  gnome. After slipping his cap on he was transformed like the prince in a fairy tale in to a hashman..

KB in his office of Chief Inspector of Hash attire – warned all they they must be dressed in Hashoween attire for the Hashoween run, otherwise they will be sent home in disgrace.

At the end of the night Pants Man Link offered the left over pineapple and beetroot but there were no takers. I assume he took it home, put it in the freezer to bring out as nosh on his next run  – – did all the hamburgers get eaten ???? – So beware !

Gm Weekly called on Foxtrot to end circle, but he gave a very weak rendition of Me me me me me hardly audible  except for those hashmen with hearing aids ( a few now I believe). He was corrected by the Gm and circle ended at 8.37 pm.

Winston Churchill quote for the week – –

Life can either be accepted or changed. If it is not accepted, it must be changed. If it cannot be changed, then it must be accepted

Acing scribe Brengun

Date: 1st October  2018…………………………
Location:Benowa …………………………………
Runners: 18…………………………………………..
Run Pictures……………………………………..

Well,  after my maiden run set and big catering effort to meet the Gourmet Hash standards –  which are Michelin 5 star, I was press ganged by our eminent GM Weekly, to act as scribe in the absence of FA. My second  maiden event  in two weeks –Crikey, talk about being thrown in the deep end!

The pack met in Bruce Small Park adjacent to the tavern, for a 5.00 pm. start.  (Thinking of Bruce Small – I had a red 24 inch Malvern Star bike as a kid in Launceston), it was again cold, but unlike last week not wet. There were – drum roll, wait for it!  More runners than walkers. At first it appeared that it was a record in the recent anals of GCHHH, the trend of ageing and thus walking had been reversed, but alas this was not so, as on return, a number of non – walkers were lurking around the car park. Is this a third category forming? runners, walkers and non-walkers??

The run went north through the park into streets, then in to a huge waterway leading to a big manmade lake where the runners peeled off around the south side of the lake and walkers returned via streets. Run 6 km. Walk 3.5 km. Trail was well marked (Blackie has had heaps of experience) Apart from that it was a pleasant enough trail with a mix of parkland and street. Blackie actually ran the trail too !!

We then piled in to our chariots to Blackies canalside joint. He had the usual set up around the pool with seating for all. As an Oktoberfest run it supposedly had a German flavour.

The circle was called by GM Weekly,. Fanny C reported on the nosh and stated that after twenty years Blackie who must be a slow learner,had finally got the spag bol right. However it was less German and  more like a World Culinary Fiesta. The Oetinger Pils was top German stuff. But the entree of cabana, cheddar and crackers was reminiscent of an Australian 1950’s wedding shower, minus the toothpicks with chunks of pineapple and coloured mini pickled onions. The main was excellent spag-bol, but this dish is from south of the European Alps, the land of Mussolini, not Hitler. The dessert was excellent but from west of the Rhine, the land of De Gaulle, French cheesecake but at least German Ice cream-  as it was from Aldi.

The GM got the circle going and called for returning  runners, Jiggy eagerly stepped forward (been in Vietnam on a motor bike for 800 km. With no licence and thus no travel insurance cover, obviously not in to risk management, he likes to live on the edge), hoping for a free drink, but he was sent humiliatingly  back for not been away long enough, nobody else qualified either.. I noticed Hardon back prematurely from the Portuguese cycle epic, he had a healh event, but he looked healthy enough to last at least until after next Xmas.

GM held SOW award back for next week as miscreants away. Proceedings  were continually interrupted by Fanny C with his fart machine punctuating all speeches. I heard that he uses this at home for genteel dinner parties with his cultured friends. This together with honking from the GM’s baby horn gave a German effect, sort of like the Berlin Symphony Orchestra

• Hare Blackie got a down down for being the hare
• Arsenic got one for not returning his passport from the recent bike event.

 

 

Gm reported 45 booked for Melbourne cup lunch, so it is almost full – hurry if you want to get a seat.

 

Charged from the floor –

• Now Loved currying favour with the GM by returning a lost property mug.
• Fanny C for his continual rude interruptions with his fart machine (he reckons it is a duck quack).
• Jiggy for accusing Now Loved of drinking down down dregs (but it was probably true).
• Fullershit for standing in the rain – I forget where and when, but I guess he got wet.
• Bent Banana was reported by Exelpet for lurking in the bush and doing part of the run in reverse, and being around Flasher too much, is Flasher his Guru???

Wrong Way Woodsy was presented with his Old Farts Cap he had achieved the 150 runs required in the amazing space of only 25 years. But he claimed he had done more and the records were corrupted, he would say that!. He also pointed out he had been MIA for 25 years, does that also mean he clips 25 years off his age, making him in fact to be about 50 years old ??? He did not display young age behaviour when drinking his down down,  he got his mug tangled in the peak of his new Old Farts Cap and nearly pulled it off, oh dear what old age does to one.

WWW  also claimed to have sponsored GCHHH very first ever run with petty cash destined  for car repairs at his then employer Avis. That is embezzlement,  No wonder rental cars are so expensive.

Winston Churchill’s quote for the week –

“We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.

Next week’s run by Missing Link at Cascade gardens and he promises hamburgers actually containing real meat.Hmmmm we will see.
Circle closed by Fanny Charmer at 8.00pm.

Acting Scribe – Brengun

Date: 28th September  2018………………….
Location: Costa D’oro Surfers Paradaise..

Hosts: Birthday Boys Pizza & Botcho……..

Run Pictures………………………………………
What more can one say “Fun ,Fun, Fun  with your Hashing Mates”