Author Archives: Botcho

Run 2158…Sweat Hog

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Date: 11th March 2019………………………….
Location: Ashmore ……………………………….
Runners:41…………………………………………….

Run Pictures

The number 41 took a significant role at this run. There were 41 hashers in attendance and during the morning, the hares core body temperature would have been in the vicinity of 41 as he lived up to his name by becoming a real Sweat Hog as he toughed it out setting the run/walk in the oppressive heat on this hot Monday.
Truckie had the venue set up early and the pack set off together before the walkers went north and the runners east towards Crestwood. The run proceeded along a pretty rough patch of vegetation surrounded by a barb wire fence well sprayed in graffiti.
Iceman decided to get rid of some body fluids under a tree and after feeling revitalised, he sprinted back onto the track and cheered on by Sir Prince Valiant he was absolutely flying until he went down like a stunned mullet as he went arse over turkey on a low stump/ root configuration where he lost a bit of bark off his arm.
Swollen Colon in the unusual role of tail end Charlie at the back of the pack told Rug and myself that he had some good inside oil from the hare that the trail went left down Olsen Avenue towards the GC University near Bunnings despite the well marked check showing the trail went right.
So that was end of Swollen Colon for the night until he emerged back at the venue. Meanwhile the pack crossed the road, continued past the Catholic Church precinct and a tour of the back streets of Ashmore before heading for home.
Cheese and crackers and birthday beers from KB, approaching the big 70, were available as the first course before spaghetti bolognaise and a massive KB home made rum and cherry flavoured gateaux cake topped off with ice-cream was served as dessert. The well iced beers were a gluten free Hahn Crisp and everybody enjoyed the taste of these new type of beers.
When the GM talks everybody either listens or talks over him , but sooner a later the circle is ready to go. First up were the returners and visitors with Kwakka and Shat back from NZ, Magician from his Africa/Europe committee sanctioned junket, Two Streets from Melbourne and Pizza who had popped out to get some milk/bread and just happened to have a boot full of hash haberdashery to give away as well and some smuggled in wine for his consumption..
Shat gave a the GM a small white volcanic pebble he had smuggled in past Border Security of both NZ and Aust and the Magician presented an Elon Musk produced by-product space blanket as a present. KB enjoyed the walk with assistance from his GPS and Iceman, despite his tumble enjoyed the well marked run. Sir Ferret who a few lashings of the spaghetti nosh declared it to be very good.
The RA told a joke about statues and pigeon shitting before calling for charges and Swollen Colon attempted to get back at the hare for misinformation about the direction of the trail but it backfired on him as Sweat Hog insisted he told him it was right turn at the Bunnings check. The GM advised he had a good time at The Eagles concert where he wore his Hash Comm Games shirt which aroused the interest of some Eagles groupies.
Caustic Crusader keen to offload the POW settled on Magician for various reasons. Firstly for trying to flog off a freebie gas shower on E Bay he had got off Blue Card then for his jet setting lifestyle while regularly absent from his hash committee role during the year. Magician claims that the sanctioned gig he had been on involved partying with the battlers in St  Moritz while getting some ideas for entertainment for the upcoming AGPU.
Throw in some experimentation by the Magician involving testing the G spot of his pussy, it was a bit hard for anyone else to get close to his wrap sheet.
Sir Prince Valiant told of the passing of hasher by the name of Terry Cuskelly who seemed to have the unusual reverse Midas touch of turning real estate into cash and then into alcohol consumption. A few hashers reluctant to come into the circle to claim their left over property were soon discovered and out came Pepi and Arsenic for a down down.
Next Monday (18th) is the St Patrick’s Day themed run starting near the Sundale Bridge boat ramp. Don’t forget to bring your Go Card for travel between destinations and some spare cash.There is vacancy for a hare on 25 March due to Elvis going on tour again.
Due to ongoing issues with Brexit, there were no ex British PM Churchill quotes. Times have certainly changed since the Poms and Krauts were bombing each other but there is obviously still a bit of bad shit going on between them in modern times.
Fox Trot was invited to close the circle to bring the evenings proceedings to an end.
On On
CIRCUMFERENCE

Run 2157…Caustic Crusader

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Date: 4th March2019……………………………
Location: Elanora …………………………………
Runners:35…………………………………………….

Run Pictures

Much to KB’s delight, the hare, Caustic Crusader, chose a venue deep in KB’s postcode for this birthday event. Once all of the trailers contents had been emptied into the shelter , the hare’s and booze masters instructions were given and runners/walkers set off knowing they were probably in for a tough slog around the local terrain.
It didn’t take long till the first hill was encountered but after that it was pretty well plain sailing, a surprise relief to all. The hare had been very kind with a reasonable distance and time of both well marked trails. Sir Prince Valiant, another hasher celebrating his 70th birthday, produced a large esky chocker full of cold iced down Crownies.
These were going off like stripper’s knickers especially at the cheap gold coin donation price.
Caustic and KB commenced serving the tasty nosh and some of the regular front of the queue starters missed the jump as they were so engrossed in enjoying the cold Crownies.
All agreed it was nice and spicy curry and many lined up for seconds.  Just to cool things down chocolate cake and ice-cream were next up for dessert. At the decree of the GM, the tables and chairs were relocated back to the trailer in readiness for the circle. In accordance with the GM’s protocol/agenda all returning runners and visitors were called into the circle.
Arse Up (now in WA), Bunker wearing his NSW Cockroach shorts and visiting the GC for the hare’s birthday, Carefree(Sydney) and Sir Slab /Sir Two Dogs (NZ) all received a down down. The latter pair presented at a great expense a postcard from NZ/s 90 Mile Beach to the GM. Caustic as hare was next in and arrived to receive rave reviews about everything he had been involved with. However as he dropped a disparaging remark in the GM’s direction on the way in to the circle, out came the ice.
As he sat there trying to explain how he had forgotten to bring some birthday beers a chocolate cake suppository was almost inserted into his rectum just as reminder for next time.
The RA then cleaned up proceedings and claimed he had swollen a gutful of insects while on the run. He invited charges from the floor and up stepped Sir Two Dogs with a few  newspaper stories about Lawyer X Fanny and a client loosing his $11 grand Porsche car-key, a Truckie’s fear of Yowis and Miscarriage waiting for a Carlton AFL flag.
Incumbent POW Foxtrot, normally known as man lost for words, not his eloquence then delivered the best circle oratory you will ever hear in this hash as he prepared to transfer the POW to the next victim. He remarked how well the trail had been marked with lots of toilet paper and flour.
However he said he drew the line, especially when he found a whole lot of it had been put on a grave of a much loved family dog. A shattered Caustic, who by this stage was thinking he couldn’t take a trick on his own run then stepped forward for his efforts and was rewarded with the POW.
The GM produced his sword and announced that a hash naming was about to take place. Frenchman Pepi la Pou was given a shirt and as he arose, the GM shortened his name to Pepi. It was mentioned that Miscarriage’s great mate Phil’s life was now over and having reached 96, it had been a great innings (RIP).
The GM’s Sir Winston’s quotes went straight over our heads as they were about as clear as mud especially the bit about something happening in the lion’s mouth.
Pepi was invited to close the circle and he did so in French.
Just in closing, spare a thought for Caustic’s evening which he would have pondered over a drink when he got home. He sets good trails and gets rave reviews about them and the nosh.
However for his all his efforts, the hare ended sitting up on the ice, almost had a chocolate cake suppository inserted while there and to top if off got POW. All this on his birthday run.
As an ex PM once said – Shit happens !
ON ON
CIRCUMFERENCE(for Fuck All who is again on well earned RnR, a bit like Magician’s committee role which is pretty close to that hasher’s name)

Run 2156…Blue Card & Bent Banana

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Date: 25th February 2019……………………….
Location: Highland Park ……………………….
Runners:32…………………………………………….

Run Pictures

8.30 pm.  GM Weekly opened the circle in his normal attire as Churchill and thanks Blue Card for the use of his residence for tonights run.

Visitors and returning runners.   These were Jig Saw and Now Loved. Botcho awarded the down down.

Walk report.   GM decided to give the walk report. He said it was well marked and all walkers stayed on the trail. The walkers on the way  back meet up with man and Two Dogs. He had a-lot to say and kept the runners back by talking to them. No not, Two Dogs, the Man with two dogs on the trail.

Run report.  Led by Blackie with Bent Banana mentioning that there was a tunnel to go through. Not a bad run of 59 minutes and approx. 6.3 km of up and down hill trail.

Food report. This consisted of piping hot chicken pot stew with generous amounts of well cooked white rice. After the meal there was ice cream with soft cake. All agreed it was a welcomed nosh. This was followed by a down down to Blue Card by Rug.

S-Bends, our booze master receives a 50th run cap presented by the GM. The birthday Boyz were Hard On and Slug, and a in true tradition received a birthday chorus and a down down. Many thanks for the cold  birthday beers. S- Bends receives another down down for his excellent booze master duties.

RA report.   There is a charge from the floor by Misscarriage. He requests all the Kiwis into the circle. These are Botcho and Sweat Hog. After a friendly chat and teasing they were down downed.

A joke about a bird that was sold dead did not Cheep. Mad Mike and Truckie was praised on  sterling efforts in arranging the car rally next month.

Truckie was called into the circle to explain why there was a “no show” for breakfast on Wednesday. Blab, Blab, blab etc.  A down down was delivered.

A further floor charge was directed at Fanny Charmer. It is mentioned that there is a first duty towards the GM and bad remarks is punished by a full down down.

The RA tells a story about a fellow aviation friend just before his weeding day. The friends new wife has four children and another one one the way for good performance and reward. We wish them well.

POW.  Fanny Charmer calls S-Bends, Hard On,FA, and Rug into the circle. These runners were trying to become the new political party. Fanny Charmer turns his attention to Oscar Foxtrot and presents the  POW trophy to him as he was silent and not taking any sides.

GM and S-Bends advises that there is only four seats left to attend the Southport Speakeasy function. It was also requested that all out standing AGPU trophies need to be returned before the

next  AGPU in April 2019.

Next weeks run.  By Caustic in Eleonora.

Winston Churchill quote of the week.  “Never give in, never, never, never, never-in nothing, great or small, large or petty-never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense.”

9.0 pm.  Circle closed by Ice Man.

Have fun times.  Never crush your beer cans. Phone a absent friend.

On On Sec.   FA

Run 2155…Bent Banana

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Date: 18th February 2019……………………….
Location: Ashmore …………………………………
Runners:28…………………………………………….

Run Pictures

The run started through some bush and along a creek and then on to the main road.

8.20pm. GM Weekly opened the circle.

Visitors and returning runners.    Hal Al on his return from Bali presented the GM with a pair of colourful trousers. All runners let off a “hooray” when the GM fitted  into the garment. A tight fit as there was a natural tenancy for clothing to shrink when bought from overseas. Brutus was instructed to give the down down.

Walk report.   This was lead by Wrong Way who modified the trail. Some runners protested as this walk was the wrong way.

Run report.  Rug viewed this run as a good run and extremely well marked.

Food report.  The nosh was good and wholesome. It consisted of chicken pieces,  corn on the cob, plenty of green peas and well cooked potatoes. Ice cream with peaches and custard completed the evening meal, which was consumed by most runners sitting on the  grand stands of the sporting complex.

Booze report.  Blue cans of beer was selected to celebrate the 2019 victory for the State of Origin.   Happy birthday was sung for Woodsie . Unfortunately he could not attend his special day.  The down down was in his honour.

Brewtus informs that his father sadly  passed away last week at 74 years of age. The GM confirms that he knew his father  from school years and he remembers some fantastic times with him. The GM eventually married  Steve’s sister.  To honour Steve,  the GM instructed a hymn to be sung in chorus to him.

  1. Miss Carriage was acting RA. A story of misadventure was told about some incident   working with heavy earth moving equipment in Gilstone. The excavator tyres had a blow out and resulted in a topple over.  While moving some fence palings, one become loose and resulted in penetrating a  wind screen of a vehicle.  Not a good day for him again.

Sir Prince with Sir Rabbit as his proxy mentions how a loving gift of a card with a box of chocolates melted in a bed. This brought disgust on the lovers awaking in the morning.

Bent Banana with Blackie was called to enter the circle to remind them of a past photo where a considerable amount of wine was consumed.  A down down was delivered to these long standing runners.

Weekly calls on Laurent to enter the circle to give a brief history of his past life. Laurent mentions he is a maintenance officer for a block of units and was introduced to the hash group by Arse Nic. Before arriving on the Gold Coast, he was living in France.  A down down followed to welcome the new hasher.

POW.   Sir Jo reminds and cautions Brutus, that he has a long term memory. Calls on KB, Fanny Charmer and Wrong Way. As there is no desertion of mates by leaving early will be tolerated, Fanny Charmer was awarded the POW.  A down down as punishment was delivered.

GM reminds runners to book and pay for the pending Car Rally. Only 9 places left.

Also there is a meeting for hierarchy on Wednesday 9.30am, 20th February 2019 at Main Beach surf club.

Please do not to forget the “Last Hooray” at Southport RSL Club.

Miss Carriage mentions he will be arranging a day on the green. Date is Saturday 9th June 2019. All are welcome.

Brutus and S- Bends tells jokes which  brings laughter to the runners.

 

Next weeks run.  This will be organised by Blue Card on the 25th February 2019.

Winston Churchill quote.     “Fear is a reaction. Courage is a decision.”

9.0 pm. Foxtrot Oscar closed the circle.

On On Sec.   FA

 

 

 

 

Run 2154…Swindler

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Date: 11th February 2019……………………….
Location: Chevron Island ……………………….
Runners:33…………………………………………….

Run Pictures

A great opportunity to meet all your mates and re-set your clocks, just as KB assisted Wrong Way with his vehicle’s time piece. This makes sure runners arrive on time. Truckie will be asking assistance to reset his his clock before next weeks run.

 

This was a splendored evening with a gentle cool breeze coming off the near by river. The half moon  high up in the sky was positioned  over the deck.  A mirror of lights, reflecting off the calm surface of the river from the well lite high rise buildings  across the waters. Large candles on the tables completed a rather romantic scene.

 

The walkers got side tracked and decided to purchase some ICE on route for all to enjoy. Thanks to ice carriers , FA, Karl and Woodsie who cooled/ chilled your beers and wine. On returning, all enjoyed the bountiful cheese dips and water biscuits so close to the water. It this how the name came about.?!

To night’s meal was spiced chicken stew with vegetables , soft rice and buttered bread rolls. This was followed, by out of this world sponge cake. Plenty left for second helpings. Thanks KB and Swindler.

 

8.25pm. Circled formed by  GM Weekly in his usual attire of Winstone Churchill.

 

Visitors and returning runners.  Swollen Colon , Seedy, and Karl a first time visitor. A down down followed.

 

Run report. The hares, Swindler and Hard On were in a debate if this run was 7.8 or 6.2 kilometre’s. All enjoyed the outing and all arrived back safe. Bend Banana said it was well marked and arrows easily seen.

A secret code was written on the trail and a reward was on offer to the person that found it. Lawrence was awarded a jar of pure honey by hare Swindler.

 

Nosh report.   KB was pleased about the how good the portion control was. A well deserved down down was given.

RA report.    It was advised that Mad Mike was progressing well and out of hospital and recovering well with a recovery nurse at home.

Swollen Colon ( Cracker man) was noted for not disturbing the evening  with bangs , and awarded a down down. Blackie told a joke about a therapy session with a very fit and tuff lady.

For compromising the RA earlier that night, Excelpet and Karl were called into the circle and down downed by Oscar Foxtrot.

The passed Show Pony was remembered as it was now two years from his passing.

All were reminded about the pending Car Rally that Mad Mike is organising and if attending, should place their bookings and payments.

KB was drilled by Madamoiselle Latrine about a night out at a hotel last year. It was a great party  consuming vast amounts of wine and falling asleep. A photo was produced from a mobile phone. A down down was instructed by Ice Man.

 

POW.     Blackie was wide eyed with Sir Jo when they were called to enter the circle. These runners left their mates behind by leaving early last week.  A down down followed.

 

Next weeks run.    Bend Banana mentioned it will be difficult to meet tonight’s efforts.

 

Quote of the week by Winston Churchill.  “One always measures friendships by how they show up in bad weather.”

 

8.55pm. Circle closed by Sir Jo.

 

On On Sec.   FA

Many thanks for phoning your absent mates or the bad weather they may be experiencing.