Date: 29th April  2019…………………………….
Location: Mainbeach …………………………….
Runners:36……………………………………………..

Run Pictures

Location Peters Seafood Main Beach

Hare Wrong Way

Great Location – Great Food – Great night – Pity about the run.

The Hashmen returned from the run/walk to the waterfront tables near Trawler wharf beside Palazzo Versace. The boozemasters Skyhook and Arsnik did a great job setting up the eskies and tables to cater for the thirsty hashmen. Within minutes of the runners returning, the curtains on the windows of the $1500 per night Versace units were drawn closed as the fun a frivolity of the night began. The fishing Trawler departed and Peter the Fisherman rubbed his hands together and a huge grin grew on his chin as Wrong Way order 40 serves of fish and chips with Greek salad! The questions began, “how can he do it for the price?”… the answer, this meal was heavily subsidized by the hare. Thank you WW.

The new GM, dressed in his regalia and proudly wearing his un-ironed, green dressing gown, called the circle to order and like a politician on the election campaign, announced his policies for hash this year – Disillusioned.. Decorum, and no Dissent, adding that there will be no penalties for hierarchy members. The response was an audible moan from the pack.

Swollen Colon  gave the run report telling the circle it was a boring shit prick of a run with no checks and only four arrows up to the spit and back and gave it a score of 1. This score was objected to because it was too high!

Shat gave the walkers report, complaining that the serenity of the waterside walk was interrupted by Fullashit on his phone. Fullashit was saved a down down using his new hierarchy immunity.

The GM then called for visitors and returning runners, and Missing Link was given a down down and shared he has been in FNQ in his Linkmobile with Mrs Link. Surcumference announced the new Hollywood movie named after Missing Link and is looking forward to its release.

The RA reminded the GM to invite the hare into the circle. Wrong Way asked if everyone enjoyed the coral trout he had caringly prepared, and the two fruit desert that he had spent many hours dicing and mixing. Square Root gave the nosh report saying it was the best $5 fish and chips he has eaten.

GM called the RA to the circle and Sir Prince immediately invited his best mate into the circle to explain how 4 people including his daughter required medical care for varying injuries related to a brick wall and an excavator. A down down was given to Miscarriage for his continued misadventures with machinery. After the RA shared his story about his trusty Patrol running low on oil, Missing Link was once again in the circle to explain his mechanical prowess, and how he became the dipstick as there was not enough oil in the transmission of the Linkmobile. Please send your donations to #Ineed $5000for a new transmission.

AGPU presentations continued and the three people, who did not get an award on the evening of the AGPU, received an award tonight. Exelpet received the dummy spit award. Best Nosh was awarded to Mrs Kwakka, and accepted by Kwakka. Skyhook and Arsenic, got their official boozemaster certificates, and the most memorable run trophy once again remained un-presented so it can be memorable next week. The circle thanked the new boozemasters for their effort and dedication to the bucket.

Charges:

Sir Rabbit and Bluecard were charged with comparing the size of their “sub woofers” raising suspicion about a rule 1 infringement. Fullashit did not use his immunity and had a down down with Square Root for their rule 1 infringement on the Tram after the AGPU. Miscariage also charged Weekly with being a tosser and gave him another down down.

Weekly was called out again to answer some questions about the AGPU and Surcumference asked why Weekly’s run last week had two sets of words. It appears that the On Sec, Care Free, (yes he is the On Sec) outsourced the words twice in the same week. Despite several attempts Weekly was not given the opportunity to explain the answer to the questions. He was given another down down.

POW handed from Pepe le Pew to Swollen Colon for whining about the trail and calling it a prick of a run even though he did not complete it.

KB announced that Miscarriage was returning his old mate Phil, to rest beside his wife in Japan.

The circle came to a close at 9 pm with the new GCH3 theme song sung loud and proud by the Phantom Choir. This will be a weekly tradition, so please learn the words.

OH WHEN THE HASH

THE GOLD COAST HASH

OH WHEN THE HAS BOYS GATHER ROUND

YOU HAD BETTER BE FEELING THIRSTY

WHEN THE HASH BOYS GATHER ROUND

WE DRINK AND RUN

SHIT LOADS OF FUN

WE ARE THE GOURMET HASH ITS TRUE

SO JOIN US ON THE GOLD COAST

A DOWN DOWN WILL WELCOME YOU

WE SCULL OUR BEER

WE SIT ON ICE

UNTIL OUR ARSE TURNSCOLD AND BLUE

BUT THAT’S ALL PART OF HASHING

IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT ..FUCK YOU!

On On

Nasty…Just helping out. Carefree on tour

Date: 22th April  2019…………………………….
Location: Merrimac …………………………….
Runners:26……………………………………………..

Run Pictures

Two reports this week see below

This was the first run under the new Hierarchy, The mob all waited with baited breath to see how the new GM Iceman, would handle matters of state. “THE KING IS DEAD – – LONG LIVE THE KING” – well that is what we all thought, but the new king was nowhere to be seen, probably fucked of to god knows where like Edward with Wallis, so we had to dig up the corpse of the old king who was rancid even before he became a corpse. We put him up front to run the show. As he was also Hare, it was a Weekly Wouble Wammy!

Carefree was in Sydney (he can’t seem to cut himself off from down there, I mean what’s going on); he designated me as stand in Scribe. It was a large turnout for Easter in spite of impending rain.
The dead King Weekly gave trail instructions as the rain may have wiped out markings, runners 6.1km. walkers either 2.8km. or 5km. most walkers took line of least resistance, this short option.

The trail looped from the reserve straight up to Nerang road and turned back in through the Surfers Golf Club. Must say it was a pleasant trail as the landscaping was great and once inside the golf club, no cars or houses, just nice trees and plants. Eventually it emerged direct from the golf course on to the reserve where the on on was set up.

Blacky and Brewtus were the first runners in – age and youth!! I walked with S Bends and Slug, the three of had a good whinge about Shorten/Bowen plan for franking credits and how we may not be able to afford $15 for a hash meal after the election.

At run end the new Booze master, Skyhook had things organized well for his maiden go at the job, no doubt his mentor S Bends gave him detailed instructions The new Trail master Sir Rabbit was scurrying around squeaking, (do rabbits squeak?) about how he was about to do a whole of year run schedule in one hit and “the bastards can sort themselves out later”. Sounded like Chris Bowen attitude to retirees
New hash Cash, Kwakka slid comfortably in to his role. I heard he inherited $2,000 from last year’s cash. Now we will have to make sure this does not just evaporate in to the atmosphere, as I was informed there was never a credit file check, any financial references, or police records check done on Kwakka before he got the job. I mean how irresponsible is that! One question unanswered is – was the New GM Iceman absent on his first run; away on some sort of junket to use up the $2,000??? More will be revealed when he finally fronts up, if he ever does.

Trucky had the trailer ready and there was a big awning sail under which the seating was placed, however it was open weave shade cloth and allowed the rain to penetrate .The King’s – (Weekly the 1st) repast of steak (not mince, old chap) with lettuce, tomatoes and onions, ably cooked by Sir Prince Valiant (more royalty), was pretty good, but the desserts were to die for (well Weekly is a dead King isn’t he?). Mrs. Weekly had made a big chocolate soufflé and a huge tray of apple slice with whipped cream topping – absolutely delicious. Mrs. Weekly is Weekly’s woman, perhaps that’s where the Woman’s Weekly comes from with all the royal news.
We just got through the grub when the heavens opened and down it came. How could God do this at Easter?  The mob squeezed under the two trailer doors in raised position, but to no avail. Eventually Weekly called “end of circle” before it began, never seen that maneuver done before. Kind of like putting your head up your own arse.
Without the usual circle antics, unfortunately I have nothing to report, no SOW, no miscreants, no nothing really at all. Oh well! At least this week we can occupy our minds reading this week’s Woman’s Weekly about Meghan’s baby.

ON ON – Brengun – acting scribe

Ex GM Weekly found a children’s playground complete with swings and very see through shade cover for the venue for his event from Merrimac. The hare who has had plenty of experience with rain before on his runs was carefully looking at a plan B alternative venue.With very threatening skies overhead, most hashers decided a quick walk would be far safer than a long run, so only a handful of runners took off. Although there was no flour or gyprock trail which meant you were never really on or off trail, the hare had provided weather-proof maps for Brutus and the runners and Sir Prince Valiant and the walkers. With golf courses surrounding the venue , it was the only way for the trails to go and the surrounds of Lakelands figured prominently. Although most hashers were concerned when they returned about the ever threatening looming dark clouds, it didn’t take long for them to find the cheese/crackers and a cold beverage. As we all know the government is in caretaker mode at the moment and one could be forgiven for thinking that the hash was also in caretaker mode with very little representation from the new committee. However thankfully the skeleton staff of a RA,Trailmaster,Boozemaster,Hash Cash and Trailermaster in their attendance kept the basic tenets of a hash group together to keep sort of semblance of a normal night of hashing. Weekly announced that the first course of a tasty beef minestrone soup  was served just as the rain started coming down. So hashers grabbed their soup and huddled under both sides of the trailer using the sides as a covering from the ever increasing rain. When they had finished their soup, steak burgers and salad were quickly served next up and hashers got even closer together as the rain was now coming down heavier. There was one major problem developing and that was the eskies were under the non-waterproof shade cloth in the playground and to get a drink meant a thorough soaking.

There was a brief interlude with the rain easing off just in time for the home made apple pie and cream and the alcohol infused chocolate/strawberry torte

 cake to be served as desserts. Hashers kept coming back for more of these tasty delights until they were pretty well all consumed. The RA decided to keep the proceedings going and suggested an early circle as the weather again started to intervene and this time all hell broke loose. The rain was pelting down and coming in sideways as well  and the water was dripping through the sides of the trailer which had become temporary roofing as shelter. So it was a quick word about the run/walk/nosh and lets forget about the POW and next weeks run details as everyone started screaming -End of Circle as it was now raining cats and dogs and overflowing gutters were raising the water levels around everyone’s shoes. It didn’t take long for everyone to run to their cars with one thing on their mind which was – Lets get the flock out of here !

All in all, the hare had gone to a lot of trouble for a nice fine night event but as he is coming to realise, every time he sets a run, it pisses down at some stage of the evening, so he always has a Plan B which often includes the undercover Robina Cricket Club, a handy back-up.

Monday’s run details are on the webpage. It is from the rear of Peter’s Seafoods, near Versace at Main Beach. Wrong Way/Woodsie is the hare.

On On

Circumference(on brief secondment from AAP Rooters while there is a transition of scribes from the Square Root of Fuck All

to Carefree, currently on a cycling tour around Sydney.)

Date: 15th April  2019…………………………….
Location: Broadbeach …………………………….
Runners:45……………………………………………..

Run Pictures

This is the event of the year where the hierarchy changes place for a new team, for a new year of term and service. To present awards to deserving hash men. The afternoon was bright and clear and free beer was welcomed.

All runners looked so good in the formal dress for this great night. We did notice that the GM slipped away, looking dressed as Jeremy the cricket with his dress tails. He was off on a mission to arrange the AGPU at a secret destination, that of La Pochetta  Restaurant.

A few drinks later, as by a silent command the runners were off, following like the Pipe Piper to our first drink stop at The Broadbeach Pup. After further beers and chat, we all again followed the Pipe Piper onto The Envy Hotel. Along the way, there were many  astonish and inquiring stares from the public.  Then the Pipe Piper led us the evening’s restaurant.

On our arrival at La Pochetta restaurant, the tables were neatly set up with cold beer in stainless steel buckets and bottles of various wines.

The GM Weekly and S-Bends were our Master of Ceremonies for the evening. Menus were presented to the dinners for all sorts of meals, to many to mention. The  ‘starters’ were delived to the tables consisting of chicken prices and calamari rings which was a favourite for all.

The first of the nominations of the evening were for the Hash Flash and the On On Scribe. Fuller Shit is now our new cameraman and Carefree is the newly nominated Scribe. For their term in office they were presented with T-Shirts.

The runners enjoyed all the proceedings of awards and new nominations and contributed to high chatter level in the restaurant.  The very active evening for good reason, could not be fully recorded. The  nominations and rewards list is included in this newsletter, to see and congratulate your new hierarchy for the year 2019 to 2020.

This night, Nasty reminds us what Hashing is all about.”We are a group on men who do have fun and share fun moments with all men.”

9.45 pm.  The evening eventually closed with some runners returning to previously visited pubs.

I trust my words have entertained you and placed a few smiles on your faces, of the antics some runners get up to.  Have delivered the year 2018 to 2019 history of the Gold Coast Hash, so we are able to read the good times we have had again. Thanking you for contacting those absent mates.

On On Sec.     Square Root.   2018/2019.

GCH3 Awards 2019

Date: 8th April  2019……………………………….
Location: Coombabah …………………………….
Runners:35……………………………………………..

Run Pictures

This park had a large under cover tables and benches with a nearby toilet block and a few garden taps around. The tabletops made perfect landing zones for the many mosquitos that were zeroing in on human targets. Up went our defense screens when Fanny Charmers allowed nearly a complete can of repellent to be used by ankle scratching hash-men.

There was a friendly and quick visit by the local council officer who left a gate lock so that the park gates could be locked after our use.

Rug, the night’s hare, explains the run and walk with the mysterious drinks stop. The booze master happily informs the runners that as this is the Hierarchy anniversary, all beers this evening will be one dollar. Please do not crush the beer cans.

The runners eagerly set off, followed by the walkers only too pleased to out pace the ever-present mozzies.  The run in the dark took us through bush and pedestrian paths, long river creeks, roads and tarmac. An interesting trails indeed. After about 3.5 km the well-marked arrows/flour markers lead us to a private residence.

Outside there were a few tables and bottles of refreshments. In very little time a mixture of Brandy and soda water was poured by Dave into plastic cups for the warmed up hash-men. This magic potion was a Brandy Sour. A drink often drunk in Cyprus. The extra delight was warm cut sausage rolls, which was quickly devoured by the walkers, but still leaving some for the late runners.

Then, off again into the darkness, passing a tennis court and following arrows or the flour trail which the kangaroos like to chomp on.  It is believed that there were white-lipped kangas around that evening. A few kilometres more lead us to the base camp.

8.28pm.  Circle opened by GM Weekly. Winston Churchill was voted out of the Conservative Party and Labour now is in control. New elected members will be sworn in at the AGPU next Monday 15th April.

Visitors and returning runners.      These were, Pepe Le Pew and Arse Nik. A down down followed.

Hare report and run report.  Flasher said that the run was excellent and well set. The drink station on route was excellent and this was echoed by all hash-men.

Walkers report.  Presented by Slug who mentioned it was well marked and easy to follow.

Food or nosh report.      This was an orange chicken stew on a bed of white rice. The dessert was blue berries, strawberry and cake slice topped up with fresh healthy yoghurt. A down down followed.

Triathlon report.    Sir Blackie with interjections from hash-man gave a resume of Sir Black Stump’s great performance at achieving third place.  All hash-men applauded his success. Truckie was instructed to initiate a down down.

RA report.    S-Bends calls out Circumference, Sir Botcho, Sir Rabbit, and Sir Two Dogs. These were some of the long-standing runners of some twenty years. Dave gave the down down.

Ice man told a Nuns’ joke whom where in Canada looking for the person who laid the pipeline for six months. !!.

Care free tells a story about Truckie and S-Bends trying to seduce a certain lady. Another down down followed.

There was a story about a hash-man who bought a large tin of white paint from ALDI. As this was put down at the car park, the lid popped up and opens, spraying the area with white paint. This person stole away, to embarrassed to face up to his mess. Magician advises he tried to remove the can the following day, but German paint sticks like super glue.

Charge from the floor.    Fanny Charmer tells how he invited Truckie and Rug around for a social dinner. After waiting for them for quite awhile, he telephones them. They both forgot. A down down followed.

S-Benzs is the stand-in for the absent POW Miscarriage. He was requested to pass this trophy on to more deserving hash-men. Fanny Charmer, Poxy and Two Dogs were called on. They liked to take off early before the hash terminated. But as some new members have not had the honour to be awarded this POW phallic trophy, it was awarded to Peppe Le Pew. A down down was taken from the phallic drinking vessel.

Mad Mike advised that he had all the results from the recent car rally. Completion certificates were available.

GM reminds runners about the lunch in Brisbane this Friday. Also about the 1970s theme event on Bribe Island.

Next weeks run.  This is the AGPU that starts at 4.30pm. Formal attire with top hats and tails is in order.

Brewtus thanks the GM for introducing him to the Gold Coast Hash. It is muchly appreciated.

9.05pm.  Circle for the 2018 to 2019 closed by Kitchen Bitch.

Many thanks for contacting your absent mates. Have fun and go well.

On On Sec.   Square Root.  (FA)