Run:1741
Hares: Sir Rabbit & Pizza
Location: Chevron Island, Surfers Paradise
Date: 14th March, 2011

Hash Chronicle.
15th March 2011
Election campaigns fail across the nation.
Latest opinion poll results predict a major swing against leaders and leading contenders in upcoming elections.
It became evident today that the election campaigns of prominent candidates have hit the rocks across the nation. PM Julia Gillard has steered the national leadership into troubled waters with her very unpopular carbon tax and previous promises. NSW Premier Christina Kinnearly is facing certain defeat in next week’s state election following the sell -off of state assets at bargain prices the Morgan gallop polls disclosed today.

However the most significant collapse from contention in the hotly contested position of Grand Master GCHHH has undoubted been Pizza. After an extensive campaign over a number of years this Italian immigrant from humble beginnings was overcoming his reputation of a loud mouthed beer swilling non conformist, with his charismatic ways even overcoming his speech impediment and occasional naked foray. A couple more years may have even seen the “ Pizza never for GM party “ abandoned. However latest reports in from AAPT indicate the weaknesses in the campaign have been revealed when Mr Pizza has attempted to show his GM capabilities ………. The debacle that followed can only go into Hash records showing there is a considerable amount of work to be done by this candidate before he can be regarded as a serious contender if at all.
Run committee sacks hare.

The recent sacking of co-hare Pizza from run duties for 12 months has come as no surprise to the experienced campaigners in GCHHH. It would appear Co-hare Sir Rabbit has denied “ALL KNOWLEDGE and responsibility “ for the run trail ( or lack of it) last Monday night. Pizza appears to have been given notice that Nosh is now the only option and that too must reach higher levels.
GCHHH Pack lost at first mark.

A world record request has been submitted by the secretary of GCHHH for the fastest loss of the hash pack in living memory. The latest statistics prove beyond all doubt that the entire pack of 31 runners was completely lost within 1.7 minutes of starting the run. It was only the powers of elimination and some inside knowledge that lead the pack to the designated drink stop with not ONE arrow within 1.2 Kilometers. Will keep you posted.
Possible food poisoning from St Patrick’s day beer.

An enquiry is being held as to the state of the “green mass” served to the Hash pack at a recent function… It would appear there is some question as to the substance being green dye or MOULD. Numerous members of GCHHH were seen to mimic mouthwash antics with the first serving of the green substance, followed by humble attempts to consume the liquid without success. The Italian brewer of the liquid was seen to put on a brave face saying “ wotafucksrongwithyoos its buuuuuuutifool!!
Sir Rabbit’s cottage pie and mushy peas a great success.

Just one serving left over and Sir Rabbit was delighted with the compliments from the pack on his cottage pie and peas with crusty rolls. Followed by Pizza Italian mint gelato ice cream the nosh was very well received by all.

Circle in 2 minutes !!!!!
GM Flasher calls … Circle!!!!
Run report …. Josephine.

Only saw two arrows all night and one was the one Pizza drew on the top of his ute!!!!!
Shat ……Well marked … take my (st Patrick’s) hat off to you ???????
Nosh report ……. Two dogs.
First time Sir Rabbit has had sweets in 30 years!!!!
Rockhard…. Tasted like toothpaste!!!
Croc .. Overall …..One fantastic fkcu up!!!
Aussie gives a note !!!! Welcome back GM ( Suk)
Pizza shut up!!!
Pizza SHUT UP !!!!!

Visitors… Billy Graham ( Free bibles from Hash cash)

Yellow code.
Veteran … no idea.
Sir Slab …. no idea.
Two Dogs ……. couldn’t find it !!
Jigsaw … no idea
Sir Rabbit … looked for hours!!!

GM Flasher says “R “ you slack arses……… WRONG

Botcho has a rare stuff up .. there was NO secret letter !!!!!!!!!!
Sir Slab offers a note.

Special mention RETURNING RUNNER …. Quacker is back from his last run in 1978

SPECIAL NOTICE ……..
Point Two has had a minor stroke or the like , Two Dogs is staying in touch and Point Two seems OK will stay in touch.

R/A Cumsmoke
First charge is Flasher for his new Jarmie coat Hmmmmmmmmm ( First rule???)
Charges … Caustic attempts to re-name Rainbow to CHIP after a golf course altercation with a flying 3 iron takes out part of Rainbow’s two front teeth…….. Overruled and Caustic gets the DD.
Circumference gets charged with “ Vexatious litigation” by the R/A …. ( Big words … hope it’s a LOT of money as we all share in it !!!!)
POW …. Swollen

After being lost (as we all were) in Orchid Ave with no money, poor Swollen thought he may have to sell his body to get the cab fare home.
The POW goes to the obvious choice …. EX GM candidate PIZZA.
Swollen gives a note.

A SERIES OF VERY POOR JOKES on many subjects FOLLOWED …. none of which are worth repeating!!!
Pizza finally gets one in about eskys with ice cream and chicken that just made the grade.

Finally Miscarriage comes out of his shell and charges the “secret men’s society “ … The brotherhood on keeping insider trading information to themselves.
Sir Prince, Rockhard are charged with not sharing the inside info on the “public listing of a company “ that went from $20 per share to $2 Hmmmmmmmmm
Other news is Miscarriage’s twin has had a life sentence handed down for misbehaviour and may never be seen again…. ( there is always the right of parole)
Pizza gives back Miscarriage’s keys after he walked home and Miscarriage gives a note.

Irish attire is noted as missing from the trail master’s garb so another DD follows for good measure . Thanks are given to Bob Brown for tonight’s theme.

Next week’s run ….. Elvis T Shirt run at the hockey club.

9.20PM and Moonbeams is back so he “closes the circle” on what has got to be the greatest fuck up in Hash History!!!!

BUT!!! …. a belly full of laughs!!!!

On On
KB.

Run: 1740
Hare: Veteran
Location: Len Fox Park, Labrador
Date: 7th March, 2011

NEXT WEEK’S RUN WILL START FROM CHARIS BROS ON THE ESPLANADE ………. WRONG VETERAN !!!
The Charis corner is a victim of the Gold Coast light rail and 12 months of road works rolled in for good measure ……. negotiating these obstacles would simply be too much for our aging Hash pack!!!
NEW VENUE …. Fox Park opposite the Latrine home for wayward backpackers.
Off onto a trail TOTALLY on chalk (Pavement) goes the pack of twenty one hashers just as the R/A’s divine powers fail totally…. pissing rain the hare announces “get going before it gets washed away “ On On >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Through the back blocks of down town Labrador ( seems that’s the sixth time I’ve written that this year. On sec) the pack trek the pavement looking for washed out white chalk and Old Fart stays on trail all the way. The pack gets back along with the SCB walkers about the same time……. Old Fart brings up the rear just in time to discover the R/A standing in for GM and the pack on for Guinness book of records “Earliest finish” …. Poor Old Fart gets the dregs of the curry and rice once again…. Caustic votes for a serving of nosh to held over for last runners before seconds are allowed ( Gets my vote. On sec).
7.50 PM …….. Circle is called …. stopwatch is started………. record attempt is underway.
HARE report.
Run .. Old Fart .. Thanks for starting without me !!!! Well marked !!!
Nosh …… Point Two … Very tasty!! What can I say … 5.5/10
Point Two gives a note.
RETURNING RUNNERS ……..
Sir Prince
Sir Slab
Swollen Colon
VD
Now Loved.
The group had been Nash Hashing and travelling far and wide.
VD hosted the gathering at the VD Mansion Tassie’s second castle.
Voted as an “Excellent host” by all.
Latrine stories of Taxi directions and Rock and Roll dancing continue to amuse the pack.
Sir Slab tells the story of “Vasso” old member off to lunch with the “New partner” an accomplished lap dancer of some repute it appears…. seems the lap dancing aroused old Vasso sooooooooo much they found a need to consummate their arousal in the executive suite in the local house of disrepute >>>>>>>>>
A forceful eviction of Vasso and bride ensued.
VD …… Commented on the Harriette’s flight back to Melbourne ……….Not one scoring over 3/10 seems VD is VERY happy to be a Hasher NOT a Harriette. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm !!
Sir Prince charged Sir Slab for fridge fukc ups at 3.30 am sending off the alarm ( Great to see the Sirs sticking together)
Swollen been to WA via Nullarbor Plains …… found the road very hilly and twisting it seems???????
Sir prince finished up with an excellent rendition of the Nash Hash Sunday Session ………
Vivid tales of the DD competition with Latrine into the finals topping off his entry with mounting the first spewer and the ultimate finally sculling the spew bucket in one hit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
POW Circumference……………
Had two serious contenders.
1. R/A Cumsmoke with NO hash clobber.
2. Our member at AFL training at Centre point gym ….. seems our member had a low centre of gravity and collapsed off the medicine ball onto the floor cracking his skull and opening a flowing gash in his scalp………….. Swollen Colon gets the POW !!!!!! ( How can you do so much damage from such a low height ??? On Sec)
The R/A calls for the ICE ……….. KB and Caustic are on the ice for R/A abuse relating to his absolute and TOTAL failure to keep the rain off the run. A joint icing in the bucket follows.
Croc charges the hare for NOT ONE international marking on the run…… Veteran responded with his second controversial comment in two weeks ……… Call the bloody on backs you lot !!!!
Sir Prince gave a summary of the photographic course available at Gash Hash in (the map of) Tassie.
Swollen reported Mrs Swollen’s Thanks for support for her heart foundation fundraising quest.
Next event in this campaign ………. at Centrepoint Gym … ( A payoff to Swollen rather than a WPHS claim) See Swollen for details.
NEXT WEEK’S RUN … Pizza and Sir Rabbit ….. Chevron Island West side … Drink stop guaranteed….. (Put you bid in for the “secret drink stop location prize) It’s Snt Patrick’s day so wear your IRISH gear!!!!
Show Pony calls “END OF CIRCLE “””” A world record claim is submitted at 8.16 PM

Hashers are seen wandering aimlessly around the park muttering “what the F&%$ do we do now!!!!

On On

KB.

Run 1739
Hares: Point Two & Dicky Knee
Location: Labrador
Date: 28th February 2011

What will this pair get up too ????
That was the question on the lips of all the GCHHH Pack!!!
The pack gathers in Labrador town and waits with great expectation ……… extraterrestrial influence is observed as “sputnik” runs across the Southern sky.
Mother Brown comes up with the “classic “statement….. “ The Southern cross wasn’t in that position last night!!!!” Hmmmmmmmmmm !!!
Blackie is observed in passionate embrace in the car park and Cumsmoke is having a last minute smoke upholding Hash tradition.
On On on chalk, paper and flour announces Point Two …. Guess we are off into the shiggy boys!!!
A fantastic run unfolded from this point…. the walkers wandered along the runner’s track and somehow got back near the same time as the runners. Great comments on the run echoed as the pack consumed Caustic’s birthday crownies.
A hearty beef stew enough to feed four armies and some fresh bread fed the hungry pack in the shelter of the football club pavilion.
Circle in 2 Minutes echoes from Flasher’s mouth as he prepares to head off tomorrow morning on yet another Hash junket.
8.10 PM Circle is called in the balmy open air beside the pavilion.
THE HARES ……. Dicky Knee and Point Two.
THE RUN …………… Caustic deflected to Mother Brown when asked for a report by Flasher. Caustic gets a smack from Flasher and reports the run very well marked and interesting. Veteran reports it as “EXCELLENT” well marked and everything you want…. “ One of the best runs this year”
THE NOSH …….. Mother Brown is now up …. Still on about the Southern Cross.
Good nosh !!!!! when asked for a score out of 10 he gives it 6.3/10
No dessert ???????? Dicky Knee says “NO correspondence will be entered into. Hmmmmmmmmm ?????
Blackie gives the note.
VISITORS……. Power pole from Cairns dragged along by Pizza. Leaving tomorrow for FNQ to Trinity HHH.
GM Flasher has his own charge ….. seems Dicky Knee wore his birthday cake mixture to bed after his recent birthday…. seems the “Promise” Dicky was on went out the door with Dicky sound asleep in the marital bed with jam, eggs and flour dribbling onto the satin pillows…. Dicky wakes to two poodles delighted with Dicky’s slumber and licking the mixture from Dicky’s face. Seems Dicky thought his luck had changed as he drifted out of the alcoholic slumber only to find it was in fact TWO DOGS ….. Our TWO DOGS says “leave me out of this !!!”
Blowfly offers a note ………. Seems no photos yet ???
R/A is up next
CHARGES……… Caustic ….. Not calling on backs!!!!
Veteran points out that “ON BACKS SHOULD BE CALLED IMMEDIATLY”
Pizza offers to fix this problem as part of his GM election campaign tpolicy statement.
Flatulance gets a charge for having to entertain his RUSSIAN business partner !!!!
Botcho charges the “Northern Alliance”( Point Two Sir Rabbit Circumference Josephine) for not dining with the pack last week…. seems Point Two didn’t have the fuel capacity required to visit the 5 venues anyway. However the 2.5 hours via Noosa to get out of Robina raises a number of questions too.
POW Circumference…………….. No real contenders!!!
Looking for Hash cash as only one hare went free …………
( A NOTE OF CLARITY from the caring hierarchy………..The free hare is a SINGULAR arrangement, it is offered to assist with time involved with the nosh. If you are dual hare’d then it is up to the hashers to work out between themselves how to split it.
Caustic is a contender for POW however finally Circumference argrees to hold over the POW till next week.
Two Dogs gives a report on NASH HASH in Tassie …….. Great food , 800 on the Red Dress run!!! Latrine and the mayor of Hobart made page 3 .. Seems Latrine has always wanted to be a “page 3 girl”
Bent Banana tells stories of lost Hashers bundled into taxis and not knowing where to go ????? Thank goodness for the motel key around our hasher’s neck!! “”Tough life this page 3 stuff !!!!!!!!””
Then the Perth Harriettes came into discussion … not really page 3 material evidently…… however our page 3 girl thought so.
Rockhard was a “Bit sheepish” about his run debacle
Brisbane is the next venue for NASH HASH !!!!
Two Dogs commented on the short circles TOO !!!!
GM Flasher …. says I’m away for two weeks ….. R/A you and the minister for loose ends fix it !!!
Sir Rabbit gives a report on the splinter lunch with ONLY 6 hashers attending…… most regulars away in Tassie!!!! … missed a great steak!!
Two Dogs announces the splinter lunch in Tassie had 20 odd attendees and was VERY GOOD !!!!!
Next week’s run ……. Veteran from Charis bros road works permitting!!
8.45pm ….. END OF CIRCLE!!!!!
Safe travels FLASHER !!!!!!!!

Late mail ………….. GM Flasher has reported FARTING all the way on his flight thanks to the stew … He complained about the size of the seats on Emirates ( Must be bloody small )
ON ON
KB.