Run 1747
Hare: Moonbeams
Location: Robina
Date: 25th April, 2011

Just shows what rumours of a great nosh can do to swell the numbers… the word was out…. Chew the rat was doing the cooking and it’s a public holiday.

After the run through the back blocks of ever nature reserve, easement and short cut in Robina the pack met up time and time again with the walkers ably assisted with directions by Nasty who has spent more time snooping around the back allies of Robina plotting hash runs than most locals.

On On back to the nosh area to some super cold Crownies compliments of GM Flasher for his birthday this week…. thanks Flasher!!!
Sir AH has the lighting sorted and it looks like a movie crew should arrive any minute.

“How many do you think Timothy??” Moonbeams asks Missing Link “Oh I think 20 will be it “ says Link … Wrong !!!!! 26 hungry hashers turn up … none as ravenous as Cumsmoke. KB …. help !!!! Portion control, Portion control!!!

F#%@ that means I’m going to miss out again… Oh well KB by name KB by nature I guess. “So where is the second pot of rice Moonbeams??? “ Huh!! What do you mean there should be plenty WRONG!!!! BUT it IS bloody delicious !!!! Two scoops of rice and a serving of sweet and sour along with Thai chicken curry and it’s down to the last scoop as the end of the line up pops into sight….. Made it with just Moonbeams, C T R and KB to share the last two spoons of rice and the tasty delights of C T R. Delicious … just not quite enough of it !!

Dessert ????????????? Ran out of time GM !!!!!!

CIRCLE in 5 Minutes!!!
Circle up you lot !!!!

HARE and HARETTTE
Moonbeams and Chew the Rat.

RUN REPORT ….. Botcho … “not bad for half a run”

Mumbles …….. “Mmmmmholidaaaaay runnnnnnnnn mmmmm nottttt baaaaaaaaad”.

Croc ……. “Loved the walk 9/10 for me”

Circumference ….. “Plenty of boardwalks and not one loose board”

NOSH REPORT …….
Cumsmoke …… “CENSORED” something about drive through on way home !!
The Pack……….. Where the f$#@’s dessert…. see above!!!

Sir Prince Valiant gives the note………….

Moonbeams introduces Chew the rat ( Boo for short) here on a six month visa which is almost up ….. Moonbeams not to be drawn on the marriage option!!!!
VISITORS …….. Pissy Fit ……Member of Border hash and thirsty Thursday
Rumour is we have picked him up in the draft !!!!!!!

Croc gives the note……

Returning runners are here in abundance.

Mumbles ……. Been away GM ( really ?????)

Elvis ………. 4th run this year

Nasty ……. Will be here right through to the AGPU GM (Got to get my 10 up !!)

Tidal Wave…… Working in PNG GM . seems the law of the gun is rife !!!!! (Yuk!)

Mumbles is called on for special comment about the threat to Hugh Hefner …. Mumbles has nothing for the press at this point.

Sir Slab gives the note.

R/A is up next.
CHARGES ……..

Seems “Cockatoo” is the call of the night and our illustrious R/A has been out scouting the grab a granny bars with desperation keeping (more)into his selection process. G.U.E. is high on the list of priorities for Saturday night’s escapades. “Go ugly early” is fine but did it have to be THAT ugly?????
Seems once caught, this catch of Cumsmokes wasn’t going anywhere until it was tagged!!!!!! Close your eyes and hope no-one you know is watching … WRONG !!!!! Rumour has is the point score was 1.5/10.

Caustic … get out here on the Ice !!!!! ( The R/A is not mucking around)

While Caustic is on the ice for some unknown charge ……………. Sir Prince tells the story of Vile ringing at some ungodly hour to get a feeby for one of his ex wives …… Sir Prince says “How did you get my number?” ….. From my newest best friend Ferret, was the reply. Seems Ferret and Vile are going into business offering advice on company formation and migration matters tapping into the vast experience Vile has in these areas.

FINALLY …. it is revealed why Caustic Crusader is on the ice. Out poor R/A was sucked into having a night off from driving the drunks ( Caustic and Aussie) home from hash week after week. So being a public holiday slipped into a few late arvo ….. after getting to hash Caustic has got the sniff of a bottle of red and the next thing poor Cumsmoke is designated driver with a unanimous vote from the only member of the booze bus mob … Caustic !!!! A charge and icing fully justified!!!

Sir Prince gets charged with being a law breaker and “Low life” letting down the wonderful PR exercise of giving away other people’s money recently. Seems the bike helmet doesn’t look so cool on the beach picking up young spunks.

Sir Prince also sent the regards of Miscarriage who it appears was last seen at the Murwillumbah races with his twin brother…………

Now Loved charges the R/A with drunken phone calls at midnight looking for discount vouched for taxis to take the ugliest capture home to Ipswich.

Now loved gives a note.

POW …. Caustic Crusader nominates half the pack ( we were on an early night up till this point)

Mumbles …. too much sex ( just jealous)

Cumsmoke …. Too much G U E . Where’s dessert …. I’m F#@$%&# starving!!

Two Dogs …. Goat Farka in drag!!!

Missing Link ….. some trumped up charge about cocking up the run tally ( He’s too smart to do that ?????????????)
Botcho gets called to give evidence and out comes blatant rule one infringement…… “Timothy and I are good friends…. I couldn’t comment”
Circumference ….. Confirms a 50/50 split with Hash on his multi million dollar payout and gets off getting the POW.

Sir Rabbit …. Fancy not going to the splinter lunch just coz your daughter in having a child that day.
Croc …. skipped over as Caustic gets distracted further on.
Old Fart ….. Loitering on wave break Island with intent. Not coming to anniversary run just coz he is Qld supervisor of the scouts gang show.
Moonbeams ….. poor run … not enough tucker.

Back to Missing Link who spits the dummy … claiming hierarchy privilege.
CAUSTIC IS DESPERATE …. He really doesn’t have a contender after all this bullshit….. put your hand up if you want !!!!!! As if !!!
NASTY…… your POW for no reason other than you said you will be here next week.

Nasty drops the POW DD in one hit.

R/A gets brave ( Or stupid ) at this point and calls the GM into circle ………..
Moonbeams you better come in too ……… Happy birthday guys !!! Both on the same day too.

Circumference gives the birthday note.

YELLOW CODE …… Nasty says Eh!!! Eh !!!! or was that “A”

Sir Rabbit hands the Splinter lunch report over to Sir Slab who says it will be a
“ Royal affair” at Celsius restaurant Burleigh Heads on the corner of Connor St and Park Rd.
Cumagen finally reveals why our R/A has been particularly obnoxious tonight…. seems his cigarettes had mysteriously been mislaid in the booze box for the last 3 hours.
7.28PM Moonbeams calls “End of circle”

NEXT WEEK’S RUN.
Anniversary dinner run at KB’s Country Estate.
647 Trees Road Tallebudgera (0419 739233)
Dress code … Hash formal ( Bring a jacket … formal of course)
Arrive any time after 4.15PM is fine ….Sundowner beers will be served for those who choose.
Run Starts 5.15pm
Car pool if you can and allow 30-40 minutes from Surfers.

Run: 1746
Hare: Old Fart
Location: Pacific Pines
Date: 18th May 2011

Short run.
Short circle.
Short trash.

The R/A’s powers have certainly left town !!!!! Maybe he needs to bring out the papal gowns again???? Rain ,Rain and more rain. No matter what our hare did down came the rain again and washed poor ippsy out. Down town Pac Pines was a deluge but that’s not unusual as it turns out for an Old Fart run …. seems the stats are 7 out of the last 8 of Old Fart’s runs have been wetttttttt.
Off into the wilds the pack of 16 went, with the occasional waft of Old Fart’s signature dish of beef lasagne drifting into their nostrils the pouring rain was just a minor deterrent to be back to generous helpings of this now famous dish. Up the obstacle course driveway made for mountain goats and out under the back shelter den looking more like an outdoor version of the Sir Rabbit bar and grill the trusty hash stalwarts gathered for their first and second helpings to the man. Followed at great expense by real choc wedges the pack were suitably replete.

Sit down circle in 2 minutes rings out at 8.01 pm.

8.03pm on the dot circle is called…..

Missing Link and KB get the love seat in the rain and get the tag “dumb and dumber” or was it Forrest and Gump???
HARE …. Old Fart.

Run report … Sir Slab … “Did well under the circumstances “ (means average job)

Roog ….. GM I went oooop stream then I went dooown stream before I went ooooooop stream agennn.

Point Two gives a note.

Nosh report….. Sir Prince …. signature dish now GM … but NO SPUDS ???

Sir Rabbit ….. EXCELLENT GM !!!!!

Circumference ( The multi millionaire in waiting) gives the note.

NO SPONSOR tonight announces the GM

Seems Show Pony’s about to be released cook book “ Salty vegetables and other tasty delights” is a strong contender to sponsor with sales expected to astound.
YELLOW CODE ….. “P” for Pimp GM say Rooog

The prize … a signed original copy of Botcho’s first wedding dvd.

R/A …. Charges .
Josephine steps up and tells the tale of the Hashman who engages a contractor to do an erection for him. Seems the posts at the front of the property are quite large and should be no problem to erect a gate between them even if the grass is a bit long. Post are minute , grass is overgrown to blazes and the poor contracted gets attacked by the resident Urbanville yowie … in his haste to escape he clobbers the biggest tree in the district and writes off his ute ( Sounds like a Link driver to me)
Point Two … front and centre.

The story unfolds that the local copper is called and discovers that fatigue is the obvious cause as NO ONE in Urbanville has ever been pissed at the wheel. Andrew the local contractor is such a law abiding son in-law that it must have been fatigue.

Josephine who delivered the spare caravan to Ubanville (stuff the flood victims) to be refurbished for Urbanville’s first ever mobile knock shop gives the note.
Cumagen charges Two Dogs for the best ever Restaurant f#@% up of all times , NO phone , restaurant closed and Goat Farka has flown all the way from Cairns to catch up and NO ONE is there except Two Dogs on his own .. so he went home ????????? Must have been past his curfew!!!

Cumagen gives the note.

Cumagen tables the TSS review magazine where it is divulged where all the Hash member’s investment capital into a certain high profile listed company may have been spent…. seems Sir Prince’s conscience has got to him so he has donated an entire new wing of the school to the needy children and their destitute parents from the TSS boys college. Photos to prove this extravagance are available from the Southport CIB.

Botcho’s RTS (Run Trading Scheme) is explained in great detail by our resident Hash Flash and IT guru Botcho. Like a carbon trading schemes this scheme seems destined to fail getting through the senate. Like any senate they seem to see no reason to support the slack pricks that have not got enough runs. ( Special dispensation can be sort from the hierarchy for extenuation circumstances … expect no sympathy vote) R/A Cumsmoke brings up the question of GST and run taxes ( Typical f@#$%$#% lawyer)

Finally it is resolved this RST thing was founded on the wrong day (1/4/2011) and should be scrubbed as a foolish joke.The Hierarchy all agreed that Botcho got us all hook, line and sinker. We have long memories Botcho!!! LOL

Reminder to register for the AGPU on 6/6/2011.

Circumference announces he not able to attend …. However he will be expecting to make a substantial donation from the megabucks out of court settlement coming from his life threatening experience in the Robina run.

Two Dogs announces skype contact with Semen in the Philippines somewhere on his way round the world to who knows where …. said to say “hello Hashers”
Sir Slab ……Announces the splinter lunch will be at Burleigh Heads at Celsius restaurant on the royal wedding day … wear your top hat and tails.

Next week’s run (5PM start) Moonbeams(with chewtherat delicacies ) Robina common soccer club.

2 nd MAY GCHHH anniversary run with run milestone anniversary presentations.
Where ………KB’s Country Estate … 647 Trees Road Tallebudgera .. On a good day you can see Sydney harbour.

When …. Any time from 4.30pm (public holiday) Hash tradition of a beer before will be available for those that choose for a 5.15 pm start.
Dress …. Hash formal … with Jacket (It gets a bit cold at 13,000 ft )

Strong suggestions…
1. Car pool with a designated driver if you can.
2. Allow 35- 40 Minutes from Surfers.
3. Next week I will give directions for both the quickest or scenic routes.

END OF CIRCLE …. It’s 8.45 … so much for the short circle.
A great night well done Old Fart!!

ON ON
KB.