Author Archives: Botcho

Run 1750

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Run 1750
Hares: Mumbles & Rug
Location: Mumble World. Nerang
Date: 16th May. 2011

GCHHH Run 1750 Rug/Mummmmbles.

The Mummmmbles (playboy)mansion is the venue for this week’s run.

The GM’s away so the mice will play!!!!

Onnnnnnnnn Onnnnn oop tha ill, the pack heads off into the chilled darkness.

SCB’s are out in force and NOT ONE hashers does the full run. Rug drops out early to head back and save Mrs Rug’s catering gear ….. seems the bain-maries work so much better with water in them.
The pack is back in no time having cut half the trail off….. The walkers stumble in last but just in time for enough sausage rolls to feed an army. Followed by an excellent pork casserole, rice served up silver service in Mrs Rug’s catering gear used in Singapore to feed the Hash over there.

Then out comes the bread and butter pudding ……….. Rug has lifted the NOSH BAR to very high levels.

8.12pm Circle in 2 minutes.
8.15pm The SITTING circle starts (GM away privilege)

Acting GM Sir AH calls for the “Hobbit Hares” Rug and Mummmmmmmbles.

NOSH REPORT
Caustic ……. Catering superlative!!!!
Dicky Knee …….. Dessert gets 10/10
Josephine ….. I hated Bread and Butter pudding as a kid and I STILL do !!!

RUN REPORT
Bent Banana (standing in for Flasher) leads the pack astray and gets them totally off trail.
Rug explains his water run.
Moonbeams gives a note.

TWO DOGS is up next and gets his jacket for 800 runs …. seems he has another 100 runs to claim but there was no Hash official in attendance at the holiday resort.
Point Two gives the well deserved note.

Sir AH announces only 3 weeks to the AGPU …. late bribes welcome … refer Hash Cash or any Hierarchy member.
Miscarriage claims French lessons are under way for his quick dash to the Royal wedding and his twin brother’s Paris visit.

LOST PROPERTY ….. Hash towel … being sent special delivery to Sir Prince in the UK.

POW ….. Sir Slab

Sir Slab claims he has many PRICKS to consider.
Smart Pricks.

Dumb Pricks.
Big Pricks.
Little Pricks.
All Pricks.

But the award goes to POOR Prick Dicky knee that has to have a double knee transplant and lose 50 kgs
Then he is diagnosed with sleep apnoea and had to swallow radioactive tablets.
HOWEVER Dicky has announced he will cancel all of these and his secret transfer to Melbourne ( see Flasher) if his GM campaign is successful.

Mummmmmbles gives the nooooote.

Dicky spews at the ¾ mark on the DD.

R/A is next.
Seems GCHHH has made the records of the Brisbane Supreme court…. how rude of them!!!!!!!! Stating Hash has a SERIAL BINGE DRINKING reputation.

CHARGES …
Mumbles charges Point Two with failing the Intelligence challenge to untangle the Christmas bells inside two hours.
Mummmmmmmbles gives the note.

Miscarriage is off to the ROYAL wedding as the official Hash representative.
He is also representing GCHHH at the London Hash run next week while his twin is spreading goodwill an international relations.

Miscarriage again ….. Gets complimented by treasurer Wayne Swan on the Mackay stadium job. By government standards is has been exceptional……. only 40% over budget, 3 months late, Indigenous housing under the seating as a bonus and open air toilets to boot. Well done Miscarriage!!

Missing Link reports all on track for the AGPU … Not to be missed with the black hole in turbo mode.

Next week’s run ….. Blowfly

Seems Mrs Blowfly has had a minor miscalculation on the birth control methods and there is a little maggot on the way.
With the family Hash history this child is destined for a Hash career….. We feel it is our duty to assist with the naming of the child, so please send you suggestion to our web-site.

Splinter lunch will be a Flames Chevron Renaissance…. great steaks!!!!

Shat tells the joke of a unique tattoo on the inner thigh that has both visual and taste/smell senses stimulated.
Its 8.40pm .. The full moon is glistening over the Mummbles garden fish pond, the Playboy bunnies are just about to arrive at the mansion, Hash must depart!!

Moonbeams calls …. END OF CIRCLE !!!!

Splinter Lunch April 2011

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Host: Sir Slab
Location: Celsius Restaurant, Burleigh Heads
Date: 29th April. 2011

What a Lunch. Twenty Hashers joined host Sir Slab for a great afternoon. You could not fault the venue, the wine or the company. The staff at Celsius gave as good as they got and a good laugh was had by all.
Sir Slab also planned a run after lunch which could have been the down fall of most. Running to the Bowls Club then onto the Surf Club saw most of us a little second hand the next day.
Well done Sir Slab.

After many hours of editing Flasher’s Flasherism part one can be viewed here

After many more hours of editing Flasher’s Flasherism part two can be viewed here

Nasty will be the next Host.

Run 1749

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Run 1749
Hare: Rainbow
Location: Nerang
Date: 9th May, 2011

GCHHH Run 1749 Rainbow/Caustic Crusader Sewerage memorial run.

What’s that on the windscreen??? Surely not rain AGAIN !!! Has the R/A failed yet again??? Well now the wipers are on high speed and the boat in the park can be seen through the blur…. Parked looking into the park it is quite evident the shelters are used as free training facilities by the local fitness trainers ……… little do they know that 27 elite athletes are about to descend on them.

The rain subsides just in time for Rainbow to announce he has only one piece of chalk and the flour was laid 4 hours ago… not looking good !!!!
On On over the bridge a mix of walkers and running trail blazers head into the darkness all headed to pay respects to the fallen hashers since departed.

All goes well and we have 24 hashers gathered at Sewerage’s graveside waiting for the few stragglers to show up ….. 20 minutes goes by and Sir Rabbits Hash foot candle is about to expire …. torch lights over the common give hope that we have finally got the full pack… Nasty says “F$#@ it’s a bloody swamp in there !!” finally Swollen emerges out from under the 3 foot high grass and Old Fart follows in minutes to come in second from a full run for the first in his Hash career. Where the F$%# is that light going ….. A quick head count and it is worked out that Girls is lost in the swamp … finally after countless “Areyou” calls the dim light of Girl’s torch shows round the back of the lake… The pack re-forms and Girls arrives just in time to here the comments of Sir Prince and join in a hymen of remembrance for Sewerage and other departed Hashers. On back to the nosh for Caustic’s chicken curry delight and fresh Turkish bread with enough for seconds all round, followed by Rainbow’s home baked delicacies (Coles)and lamingtons fresh from Woolworths. Caustic has done well with not much notice the pot is scaped dry and 1,000,000 farts are brewing already.

FREE PISS FREE PISS … It’ Two Dog’s birthday Old beers all round… Thanks Two Dogs!!!!!!!!

The fitness guys have finally gone so “Circle in 2 Minutes” is called.

It’s 8.55PM ….. Circle.

The HARE ….. Rainbow.

Seems security came looking for lights across the field. Girls and Miscarriage found a bond in the darkness, Missing link is still looking for his left shoe somewhere in the bog and Swollen has officially joined the Wherethefuckarewe tribe. Mumbles gives the note.

NOSH .. Out sourced Caustic Crusader and Coles direct Rainbow get a vote of confidence from all.
Rainbow says “very good GM “ Hmmm (His run)

Sir Rabbit says …, Where’s the bloody rice??

Two Dogs gives the note.

YELLOW CODE
Missing Link fails but calls hierarchy exemption.
“F” for fart …. Old Fart gets it !!!

VISITORS
Just Bob … Swollen’s guest
Sir AH gives him a note.

Barnacle is recognized and Roy the big “O” is back again with “Only the lonely” echoing across the Nerang river … NOTE .. No hash gear!!!

Sir Rabbit is recognised for his 1400 runs and a royal inquest is opened into Sir Rabbit’s run score ( I’m backing Sir Rabbit) Sir Rabbit is presented with a brand new Hash 1400 runs jacket that is quickly taken back for embroidery. Nasty gets a DD for leaving his treasured silver goblet behind somewhere.

Rockhard gives the note………

RETURNING RUNNERS…..
Rockhard Back from the West with $$$$$$$$$
Swollen back from London supporting Mrs Swollen having spent $$$$$$$$$$$$$ Suck’s up to GM Flasher with a stale can of pommy piss.
Croc gives the note.

R/A is next.

Charges ???

Caustic lays a trumped up charge about some questionable rule one infringements from kids at the top of the hill last week. Croc adds fuel to the fire with Bonfire tales and KB gets the DD.
R/A debates a nonagon (Nine sides) only to trap the majority in the octagon EIGHT sided shelter.

POW … Just John.

Nominates Nasty coz he is a “nice” person (He’ll learn)

Then Sir Slab for getting him into this Hash bit!!!

Sir Slab gets the POW

Sir Prince offers a note.

GM Flasher announces he is off on official Hash business O/S for 2 weeks.

Flasher also gives a report on Pizza lost at KL airport and rescued by a hasher who turns out to be from the same wog town as Pizza and now found a newest best friend ……Poor bastard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Two Dogs announces is just a mere 52years this week.

Nasty gives him a birthday note.

Ports all round for those who are not driving and a Hash Hymen for departed Hashers.

Next week’s run gets greeted with blank looks from co-hares Mumbles and Rug

“ What F$#%@&*$ Run !!!!!….. Maybe that was because they were in the company of the rest of the dwarfs ( see photos) and the thought they were Dopy and Sleepy.

Bent Banana calls ……. End of circle…..It’s 9.45 PM

KB is off home to enjoy 1,000 farts over the next 5 hours … Mrs KB NOT impressed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SAFE TRAVELS FLASHER !!!!
On On
KB.

Run 1748

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Run 1748
Hare: Kitchen Bitch
Location: Tallebudgera
Date: 2nd May, 2011

The last time your trusty on-sex woke feeling like this was after the 2010 AGPU where he was roped into this thankless job.

Took a quick look at the wine rack ……. Hmmmm , 3 bottles of 389 and 4 bottles of Portuguese plonk, then outside to tidy up, the keg is empty too, thank goodness the land cruiser is there to take all this crap away. The place looks amazingly clean and Mrs KB has a palates class before she heads home having absconded before the pack arrived for her sleep-over at her daughter’s place.

Slowly the fog lifts and the antics of last night come drifting back, first and foremost was the amazing job done by Sir AH on the addition to the GCHHH pack formal wardrobe. The top hats provided by your caring hierarchy have been adorned with amazing wit from our minister for loose ends…. WELL DONE!!!!

Then it dawns on me that the dishes are all washed up and the number of helpers in the KB Masterchef kitchen consisted of a small army. Pizza, Croc, Botcho, Sir Prince, Sir AH, Cum Smoke, Jigsaw, Moonbeams, Nasty, Now Loved and even GM Flasher were just a few that flashed through my tired brain cells……..Plate-em up !!!!! Thanks guys!!!

Even the overnight love birds Flasher and Botcho had the mop out trying to get rid of the 3.5 Kgs of grass clippings on Mrs KB’s favourite white tiles before heading off to beddy-byes at midnight…… Thanks again.
Cum-smoke has lived up to his name and any second the Camphor –Lauren trees are certain to burst into flames above the bonfire….. but no complaints.

I must take everything back previously said about the total failure with divine intervention and our R/A’s connections with higher powers …. It’s pissed down for 4 days then out comes the sunshine on Monday morning …….. Then on Tuesday, hail and 50mm of torrential rain make the trail impossible…….. Thanks heaps R/A!!!
Well best try and remember as much as possible and write the trash…. F#@%!!! What did happen????

3.30PM ….. Pizza arrives to set up the (large) keg he has kindly DONATED.

4PM … Sir AH on hat delivery arrives closely followed by Cumagen with the rest of the grog…… first drinks are served.

4.15PM …Flasher and Botcho arrive for their “rule one” sleepover.

4.30 PM ….The majority of the pack has arrived!!!

5.05 PM …. The pack is off on the trek through neighbouring properties and KB hopes the “on back” up the hill traps a few. The walkers take on the hill option over the flat walk and all is running to plan.

5.07 PM … The first willing volunteers in Sir AH, Pizza, Cum Smoke and Now Loved help set up the deck dining area and out come the amazing top hats.

5.45PM … The walkers are back with a few SCB’s and FRB’s.

5.55PM …. Pizza’s free grog is going down well!!!!

6.00PM … Nibbles ….. Pizza pieces and fresh bruschetta with fetta

6.15PM …. More nibbles … KB has unloaded the freezer and the cured Mahi Mahi is a winner!!

6.30PM …. GM calls “Be seated you lot”

6.35PM … Mrs KB’s home-made Pea and Leek soup is served.

6.50PM … Country Bar-B-Q and vegies is next.

7.15PM … KB have you got any spare red wine???? ( that’s where it went) for $10 a bottle … sure try this Portuguese qwaffer!!

7.16PM … Cum Smoke is trying to burn down upper Trees Rd in one hit … the bon fire is lit and “circle in 5 minutes is called” … delay sweets (we’re too full)

7.25PM… The heat around the bon-fire is getting bearable and GM Flasher calls circle.
HARE … KB is called.

(At this point Caustic informs your on-sex that he has forgotten to take notes… On-sex is slightly pissed and says “I’ll wing it” Hmmmmmmmm!!)

RUN Report ….. Sir Slab … Not bad , well marked, worst on-back in Hash history!!! ( YES!!! … it’s worked I have got a few)

NOSH Report…..( Think it was ) Shat …..Raised the bar again KB … very happy!!

Visitors…… Hash Pash GM from Tassie Hash, and four others ( Sorry no notes)

SPECIAL GUEST …. Flown in for the GCHHH Anniversary dinner THE BIG “O” ROY makes a cameo appearance but Hash Cash won’t pay his fee so we get three bars of “ Only the lonely”
The R/A has seen fit to adorn the Papal gown and gear flown in back from the royal wedding for this important occasion …….. The neighbours at this point think the KKK is definitely meeting burning some poor prick at the steak. Charges run thick and fast with Miscarriage in his normal form entertaining all, with the visitors trying to figure just what this lot must be smoking.

The POW Nasty gets his four candidates out and spreads the award around the lot of them …..

The MOST important part of the evening follows ……

GM Flasher and MFLE Sir AH present the milestone awards to the following ….

Caustic Crusader … 100 Runs

Nasty…..300 Runs

Flasher ….. 450 Runs ( Just wanted a jacket)

Now Loved…..500 Runs

Mumbles …..500 Runs.

Missing Link ….. 600 Runs.

Backstump….. 900 Runs.

EXTRA SPECIAL MENTION was made of Sir Rabbit’s amazing 1,400 runs … yes the 1,400th was tonight. ( watch this space)

8.30PM …Moonbeams calls ….. “End of circle”

8. 40 PM ….. Sweets are served … Mrs KB has baked for days her Grandmother’s recipe, Banana and Walnut loaf served with a dash of caramel and ice cream.

9.05PM …. Time for (quite)a few quiet ones in front of the fire.

12 Midnight …. Lovebirds are tucked in, the coppers haven’t been, KB is off to nigh-nigh’s happy that the GCHHH anniversary dinner, awards and top hats appear to have been successful……. Sweet dreams Big Dog!!!

6.45AM …. F#@& my head hurts……

7.15AM …. Flasher and Botcho head down the hill.

10.45AM … Mrs KB is back and cannot see a speck out of place!!!!

ON ON
KB

PS …. Hope you all enjoyed … I had a ball !!!
Special thanks to girls at No 660 for the access …. Would you believe I only met them 10 days ago, but one ran in a mixed Hash in the UK for a while…..
Hashing wins again !!!