Run: 1734
Hare: Nasty
Location: Albert Park Benowa and back to Nasty’s Spa & Grill
Date: 24th January 2011

Due to the Hash Scribe abandoning his duties (AGAIN!!!!!!!) and forgetting to deputise an alternative Caustic volunteered (AGAIN!!!!!!!) (it will cost KB 2 beers and a bottle of battery acid Hash wine) and duly rustled up pen and “scrap” paper from Nasty which upon investigation the next day was recycled children’s school exam papers.!

Clear skies greeted a chirpy pack of some 30 Hashers who resembled Steptoe and Son 2nd hand “rag & bone”collection service

Promptly at 6:14:59 the pack assembled for the Hares briefing;
Nasty started by telling all that it was a 3 way run to cater for all levels of unfitness and went from a 200 metre limp to a 5 km male sprintathon ;no hills; no shiggy;and no fun! Should be back in 30 mins! Tops!! Short cutting was severely discouraged as it was only to be used as a “loosener” for the upcoming Aussie Day extravaganza!
We will see was the packs consensus

A “sitting” Circle called at about 8.30pm (it looks more and more like the decay of the Roman Empire with the Senators and their entourage lounging around and more interested in Rule 1 activities than what true Hashmen are “obligated to do” :remember the words “Noblesse oblige” TRANSLATED “in noble hood all Hashmen are required to meet their obligation !”)

The Hare was called out and 2 Dogs gave a run report who likened it to a “sprint to the showers” whilst Shat was giving Sir Prince “bird impersonations” which could be more likened to a man performing oral sex on a female ! (What on earth would a real Hash Man do that for on a Monday night ???)

After finishing his “nuzzling noises” he proceeded to give a run report of “mind blowing boredness” quote ,,,,”Marvellous, simply Marvellous, quite stunningly Marvellous” ; has he turned into a Rule 1 offender ??

Sir Prince gave an indifferent note somewhat perplexed by Shats noises in his ear
Anyway back to the run ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!! The VIP comfort bench of Sir Prince, Ferret and Sir Rabbit were now craving for bedtime stories as their tired eyes were closing for bee boos!

Nosh Report

Entrees
Peanuts, crisps, vegemite sandwiches and 1000 sprinkle Sangers
Main Course

Pie ,mashed peas and potato with tomato sauce dressing drizzled over

Desert

Pavlova with all the trimmings
PS: Beautiful but all outsourced thru Nasty’s abusive slave labour program (Hash Cash commented that Nasty also had provided the fare within the budget; wait til his indigestion hits at 4 am!)

Note from Sir Rabbit whose strangulated testicle rendition of a note has now been replaced by an internal herniated prostate whilst crying in his pillow! Man up!!!
Note from RA

Q: What is the difference between broccoli and snot?
A: Boys won’t eat broccoli

Summation: A 1/10 score was awarded at it was a totally outsourced menu and may now contend for the worst Nosh of Year ! Buying the tomato sauce does NOT constitute culinary input.

Scientology Report
Nasty delivered a scathing insight into Sir Rabbit along the lines of “ Sir Rabbit is fucked the lucky devil?? Or something like that for stealing Telstra phones and an unfaithful Rabbit should avoid all wild animals with teeth; especially offshore unknown female species!
Nobody got it ??
Lets look forward to next weeks reading !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Visitors
Arse Up brought an unsuspecting 6”10 giant called Bill who when called out surprisingly made the GM go up another 2 stairs to keep parity!
Note from Arseup caused a charge from Caustic as Ferrett and Sir Rabbit were having a conference on the VIP comfort lounge ; duly charged and a down down awarded
Bill (or maybe Silly Billy) then went on to confide as he was an excited virgin he had bought some new gear Inc shoes!
Arseup gave 2nd note when Silly Billy had the customary shoe down down

RA was called to circle and called for charges

Nasty Nasty Nasty; how we remember those Nasty nights whilst you were GM
A) The 1st Down Down ; whilst Hash drank pre-Xmas slops Nasty drank Crownies : verdict GUILTY

2nd Whilst Nasty drank Penfold wine decanted thru an aerator Hash drank “battery acid “:GUILTY

3rd Nasty outsourced the food and claimed privilege:GUILTY

4th Nasty removed all Koran, scientology and other reading material in deference to the GM:GUILTY

5th RA quote “he’s just a c—t “ and the RA wanted him to remember and exceed the Bannockburn night (at Mudgeeraba) when Nasty as GM gave Caustic 7 down downs for the night:

Its reported that Nasty is now prostrate (sounding like a Sir Rabbit “note”) over the great white telephone! Man up; what is this Hash coming to??)

B) Jigsaw charged with Rule 1 contraventions after he and Cumsmoke were “bombing” the pool and he asked to HOLD HANDS! Charge upheld Guilty

6th Nasty tried to defend the indefensible charge B) and got another Down Down :GUILTY
c) Shat Xmas run aftermath report noted several items left at the Shatterie and when he followed up with Jigsaw was told he was too busy shopping!!!! (Q “Is Jigsaw the 1 in 10 Rule 1 offender; Rug please go into deep undercover and get to the bottom of this!!)
Caustic still retains the 7 Down Down record (without a puke !)

POW
Miscarriage is holding over the POW

Aussie Day Extravaganza
The illustrious GM again tried to get numbers which were agreed to be within 7 and 200,000
22 booked on bus the rest of you bastards walk!

End of Circle for those still awake was called at 9ish

Run: 1733
Hare: Rug & Crocodile
Location: Biggera Waters
Date: 17th January 2011

Hello GCHHH

My apologies for my no-show …. Got a few family flood dramas and knackered after the Billfish tournament. So Pizza has offered to fill in with his new computer skills after graduating from the advanced course last week…………. Enjoy !!
Thanks heaps Pizza!!
On On
KB

BUON GIORNO RAGAZZI E AMICI QUESTI SONO I PAROLE DA LUNEDI SERA ABIAMO STATO A LABRADOR VICINI A IL CLUB DI FUTBOL ALLORE COMINCIAMO ..
FOR THE DURATION OF THIS REPORT I’M ME AND YOU’RE YOU BY NAME ONLY !
ME   ASKS QUESTIONS       YOU GIVE ANSWERS               RIGHT !!!!!!!!!
ME         SLAB HOW WAS THE RUN
SLAB      got mixed up and lost in the conception
ME       SHAT ;  reply ; half worked was shatting myself running through the drain with a FLASH FLOOD looming ?
SIR P V ; walk was friendly excellent choice the PARIS END of LABRADOR
A H ; good walk , why suggested half way through the walk while we hung around waiting for BARNACLE name suggests he sticks to the sides but slipped off this time looking for arrows well A H wanted to play SPOT THE AUSSIE
FERRET ;  the surface of the GOLD COAST roads after the CYCLONIC conditions were excellent for BIKE HASH    told me some shit his DOCTOR said to him you’re not a very good runner but you may feel better inside keeping up with your mates so why not RIDE A BIKE well cant see why He can’t attach a trailer FULL OF PISS
CROC   n   RUG    cooked      WE’LL GET BACK TO THAT LATER !
ELVIS [ is back in the building ]   SIR SLAB     POINT  2    SHOW PONY    and   BOTCHULISM    had obviously had a ring around and decided they should all wear the
same shirt             nobody called PIZZA  i got one of them shirts too you know !
MISCARRIAGE  ; had no words for the run    seems was keeping the good bits for later
NOSH WAS OVER CATERED  [ aussies don’t know that pasta grow’s when its cooked ]  Most people had two helpings and there was still enough to feed any of the
locals ,  SHAT’S QUOTE  ; DON’T LIKE MARINARA !   DON,T LIKE  CARBONARA ! ONLY HAD ONE PLATE OF EACH  !  BUT THE GREENS WERE GOOD !
MUST ADMIT CROC  N  RUG WERE BOTH SURPRISED AND WONDERING WHEN THE GUEST SCRIBE ROCKED UP WITH PEN AND PAPER IN HAND , SHOULD HAVE REALISED THEN MY KITCHEN RULES DON,T WORK !  however the ambience of the evening and the general feeling was we’re all pretty hungry by then so it will do . Gave it 8 out a possible 10 .
BOTCHO ;  Was running around taking photo’s of next year’s committee ;  check the website is a prize for picking the new committee
CUMAGEN ; last to pay    MISSING LINK really needs to spend more time away from his duties and with us other blokes
WILL SOMEONE TELL JOSEPHINE THE RUN IS NOW $15   for that you get one or two POTATO PEELERS at one or two functions that take their top off and walk around with a bad attitude
SIR CUMFERENCE ;  Local knowledge got the runners lost , hope he got home alright ?  WAS OVERHEARD SAYING SHE’S RIGHT I KNOW WHERE I AM           OOP’S
ARSE UP DECRIBED THE RUN    “SCHOOLDAY’S RUN”    long and hard    IS THAT NOT A PRICK RUN
ROCKHARD   ;    SHOUTED TO THE SCRIBE TO “VA  FUNGULA”  don’t use that sort of language at the PIZZA HUT
BACK TO THE “NOSH”   comments where plenty of MARINARA  but  couldn’t find the CARBON in the CARBONARA   will get back to the CARBONARA later
SPLINTER HASH LUNCH AND GOLF      SEE BOTCHO   ASAP
SPONSOR  for the evening was NOW LOVED MONEY LAUNDERING SERVICES  selective hiding spots no demonstration was given , but reminded me of my first job i was on SHIT MONEY

YELLOW CODE ;   JOSEPHINE  got it right  GOT THE SANTA SUIT

D D ‘s   for being M I A    ARSE UP, SWOLLEN COLON ,BARNACLE , ELVIS , DICKIE ,CUMAGEN

STILL A VERY QUIET CIRCLE WITHOUT CUMSMOKE not there and PIZZA sober

ANYONE SEE’S A SUITCASE LAYING AROUND IT MAY BELONG TO MISCARRIAGE   didn’t get home with him this time either

SIR SLAB    D D’d BLACK STUMP for forgetting his bike for the bike ride   what is happening to our HASHCLUB forget bikes forget suitcases  FORGET WHICH TRY MY WIFE TOLD ME TO CUT DOWN AND NOW BANANA BENDER IS NOT TALKING TO BENT BANANA what is going on   WHAT NEXT  ?????????????????????????

NOW LOVED INVITED TO LATRINES PARTY ALONG WITH SOME OTHER SELECTED GUESTS all went pretty well   HAS A RUN CUMING UP THERE WILL BE NO HAND SHAKING ON THE NIGHT  !  GOT IT    RIGHT

P O W    MISSING LINK forging ahead with his latest employer told a story about a CITY KID not at all machinery minded couldn’t find the necessary gears for going uphill in a WORLD WAR 1 relic rusting away in the paddock , without basic instructions from a COUNTRY KID from TWO HEAD land  we very nearly all having to take the day off . But like the suitcase all is good IN THE END like the money laundering  seems like STRATEGICALLY PLACED limestone rocks did the trick so THE EMPLOYEE gave the EMPLOYER the
P O W

DON’T FORGET THE AUSSIE DAY BUS ONLY A COUPLE OF SEATS LEFT ON THE BUS   CRICKET MATCH         AUSSIE’S     VRS    REST OF THE WORLD

Next week’s run     NASTY             T B A

POOR OLD MOONBEAMS IS OFF ON HIS HONEYMOON ONLY GONE ONE DAY AND RUG JUMPS INTO HIS SPOT          END            OF            CIIIIIIIRCCCCCCLE

PIZZA                   IT FELT STRANGE TURNING UP TO HASH WITHOUT 8 or 10   HOMEBREWS UNDER MY BELT            MORE STRANGE GOING HOME SOBER

GOOD NIGHT LADS

Run: 1732
Hare: Two Dogs
Location: Runaway Bay
Date: 10th January 2011

The Two Dogs kennel at Runaway Bay gathered the pack for a great run and a refreshing swim to follow.
Two Dogs standard nosh BarBQ’d steak sandwich and sweets to follow was well received as always.
8.20 PM Circle was called………..
GM Flasher opens with “A bloody good run”
R/A is scolded for rain intervention ………. He claims his knees are worn out from praying to no avail!!!
Seems R/A’s powers simply do not extend to cover the heaviest falls in history!!!
Miscarriage comments that it was a “great run” however he was lead astray by Botcho and Sis Slabb missing half of the run. Walkers trail was great too!!
Aussie gives the note.
Moonbeams issued a protest on the walkers comment for no reason!
THE NOSH..
Cumsmoke …….gives it the nod suggesting that Josephine take note ….. This is REAL meat!!
Josephine gives the note.
ICING ICING ICING !!!!
Finally the R/A gets caught………. A record “shortest” visit to the ice follows …. 1.35 seconds.
Aussie gets the real icing as R/A’s stand in.
CHARGES…..
Miscarriage suggests the Two Dogs erections are the biggest in Runaway Bay?????
Sir Prince’s new “slumlord” enterprise has a new venture …. wet tee shirt competitions with a leading contestant willing to set the bench mark ……. seems it started with gutter problems and a caring landlord started this venture.
Caustic charged Miscarriage with calling “On On” incorrectly …… Guilty as charged!!!!
Caustic gives the note
Show Pony protests …. No payment for his fantastic nosh… Flasher advises that his mummy was paid in full for HER effort.
Ferret gets iced for wrong calls and breaks the “shortest icing” record set earlier in the night ……1.12 seconds.
POW … Circumference reads out the terrorists rules ( Send a copy please)
Josephine gets the POW to hand out.
Hierarchy vote subs now $25 for Josephine.
AUSTRALIA DAY RUN …….. FUN FUN FUN …. don’t miss it !!!!!
Next week’s run ……… Croc and Rug somewhere close to this week’s run
Aussie ends up back on the ice for GM abuse!!!
Moonbeams will be away for the next few weeks …….. HAPPY HONEYMOON!!!
8.51PM …. Moonbeams calls “End of circle”
A pretty tough week for many …. hope all your loved ones are OK
On On