Run: 1766
Date: Monday 5th September 2011
Hare: Sir Rabbit
Venue: Dodgers Football Club, Labrador
Runners: 33

Weeks to AGPU: 40
Was another debacle in the brewing, Sir Rabbit’s Bar & Grill was still not ready for opening after several years of extensive renovations, familiar surrounds, and the weather looked dodgy as Sir Rabbit anxiously studied the radar and called upon the RA’s intervention?

The pack arrived at the new location, Dodgers Club, to find the gates locked and Sir Rabbit’s fur in a ruffle as he looked for options. To no avail as the pack was called to order and set off in seemingly familiar directions. Across Oxley Drive we ran and into the enclave of dodgy back streets before emerging through a hole in the fence and traversing potentially dangerous grounds, possibly occupied by the armed and dangerous. Quickly the well organised pack ran through in tight formation and over the road to the bush around the cricket club.

Back over Oxley Drive and more back streets and bike paths. Sir Rabbit remained in close proximity on his trusted bike ensuring the pack didn’t stray too far off course. Magician, a visitor from Vietnam, ran in his customary tribal sandals to the bewilderment of the seemingly talented athletes in tow.

We finally emerged at Sir Point Two’s residence hoping to raid the fridge of his VB’s, but instead had to settle for just paying homage to the soon to be vacated abode. The trail then continued south towards the hockey fields where a nervous and now somewhat reluctant pack followed. Through the park, across bridges, through the scrub and along the fence line we went, until again emerging in familiar surrounds but not quite knowing how we got there.

After some coming and going, crossing paths, and some short cutting we set off along the creek for the run home. A couple of usual suspects scented their way home across the footy ground, claiming the trail lead them, whilst the rest of us trudged along the real trail through the scrub and slop before emerging at the creek crossing to the obvious joy of the pack.

It was then a short trot across the field to a large pack already well home and into the refreshments, including serial late comer, KB. Good use of a well worn area and in fact even finding a few new paths.
The nosh was a quality chilli dish and highlighted by the ever resourceful Hare, providing dessert from his vending receptacle. Sir Prince Valiant gave the run a glowing report, commenting on his religious experience, with Miscarriage quickly concurring. Pizza’s food report was the usual waste of time, so the GM turned to Josephine to make sense, who quickly gave a 7/10 which was then upped to 7.5 following the dessert arrival.
————————————————————————————————————————————————————————–
Down Downs:
Jigsaw: For printing out “mystery foot” photo and Missing link for not being able to name all in photo

Miscarriage: Called to order by the RA for potentially bringing the Hash into disrepute by perving into people’s back yards

Sir Rabbit: Wearing non Hash hat (“I’ve been to Urbenville”)

Sir Point Two: 1003 runs (allegedly) since 1984, and recalled his first run at Gaven. A warm farewell was given to a popular and long serving member who is off to start the Urbenville Hash, run for Mayor, buy (or at least support) the pub and try to notch up another 1000 runs

Crocodile: Trying to charge Flasher for trying to blame Goatfarker for disappearance of his ironing board alter, which he allegedly found in the bush, however alter was not recognised and down down reversed

Miscarriage: Charged by Sir Prince for consuming with his prized marmalade, behind his back
Magician & Short Circuit: Visitors

Flasher: POW from Sir Point Two for having no life and spending all his time sending trivial emails
Flasher: Shrapnel found in cash bucket

KB: Late arrival, but claiming to have gone on trail

Jigsaw: 65th birthday, thanks for the Coronas

Pizza & Crocodile: For slack jokes (I think)

Sir Rabbit: Hare

The increasing numbers of walkers were put on notice and ordered by the RA to bring medical certificates as to why they had to walk
GOOD LUCK SIR POINT TWO, KEEP VISITING, AND BE PREPARED FOR MANY A VISITOR DOWN URBENVILLE WAY.

IMPORTANT HASH EVENT:
BUDD’S BEACH BIKE RIDE, SUNDAY 2ND OCTOBER AT 09:30
BRING A CHAIR, ONLY $15.00 PER PERSON FOR A GREAT FEED,
DRINKS ON SALE AT USUAL ROCK BOTTOM PRICES
————————————————————————————————————————————————————————–
On On from “The Desk”
Two Dogs

Run: 1765
Date: Monday 29th August 2011
Hare: Sir AH
Venue: Off Nerang M’Bah Rd Nerang

Runners: 28

Weeks to AGPU: 42

Oh what a difference a trailer makes! Freed from the shackles of hosting runs from parks with BBQ’s in Labrador and suburbia in general, it was great to see the return of the trailer and a run set in the bush.

Of course with the return of the trailer we also got to ask the now familiar question, ‘How many Hashers does it take to light a BBQ?’ With 6:15 fast approaching and half the pack still stuffing around with the gas, (Where is Seamen when you need him?), the GM called the group together and due to the daunting nature of the surrounding hills and bushland, called on the RA to bless the run. The RA provided a blessing for the Run and the Hare, but unfortunately forgot to bless the poor little Skippy found mid-trail with an arrow up its arse.

Following some very sparse direction from Sir AH the pack took off for the hills, then some more hills, followed by some more hills, then finally the last few hills before returning home. (If ya haven’t got the point by now, all I can remember is there were lots of fucking hills!)

Back at the On On venue the BBQ was finally alight thanks to Pizza dodging the run and heading back to town to buy some matches. The table that Sir AH had meticulously set up for the hierarchy was quickly populated by ‘next year would be committee members’, and yes, we have your names. The Nosh consisted of red and yellow curries served with rice, and apple strudel and custard for desert.

The Circle.

Down downs commenced with Now Loved (returning runner) and Bum Crack (a visitor).
The GM noted a special thank you to Old Fart for bringing the trailer, and to Pizza for going off to get the matches.

Sir Slab provided a run report and noted that the run was well marked, was a return to some good serious hashing, and slightly undulating. Score – 8/10

KB provided the Nosh report and noted there was no need for portion control, however that may have been due to Cumsmoke being absent. Score – 8/10

Further Down Downs went to – Sir AH ( Hare), Flasher ( not recognising Sir Ah’s 100th run),

Nasty and Cumagain (returning runners), Missing Link (drinking from left hand), Rug (not reporting Link’s indiscretion),

Moonbeams for sitting near the head of the hierarchy table.

Caustic took the floor and detailed the plight of some poor bastard who needs to give $70M to registered charities. So if you know a legitimate registered Australian charity that can help him out, speak with Caustic.

Sir Rabbit provided a report on the Splinter lunch and the much anticipated launch of the new shirt.

POW was carried over (or maybe it’s been carried off to Urbenville?)

The GM then asked Caustic where the foot was located in last week’s words. He didn’t have a fucking clue so he asked Pizza, Nuh, then Link, Nuh, then Cumagen, then Arseup, Rug, Sir Rabbit, Moonbeams,……. What a fucking debacle this has turned into! Finally Sir Slab restored order by providing the correct answer and the mammoth Down Down commenced.

On a more sombre note, Rectum addressed the circle and advised that he and Pizza had been working with a group to raise funds for an orphanage in Cambodia. After giving a small insight into the plight of these poor little beggars, a hat was passed round for anyone who wished to help this cause and make a donation. With the committee throwing in $100 we collectively donated $250.50. Well done everyone.

With no further business, Moonbeams was finally called on to end the circle.

All in all, an excellent traditional Hashing night so thanks again to Sir AH.