Run: 1768
Date: Monday 19th September 2011
Hare: Cumagen
Venue: The Observatory
Runners: 28 + 1

Weeks to AGPU: 38
What a difference a couple of weeks can make in Hash! A great venue, some hills, bush, great tucker and a great run, mixed with nearly summer like conditions.
It started a bit suspect though, Josephine’s high tech sat nav did not want to comply, or knew better, as it continually tried sending us any where but to the heights of the observatory.
Maybe it was there on a past run of many moons ago, freezing, windy, raining and a surplus of bush and hills. Times have changed with conditions much better, many more houses and bike paths but just as many hills.

We finally arrived with little thanks to “sulking Sally sat nav” to find Latrine had made yet another guest appearance and was deep in meditation, no doubt readying himself for the punishing run to come. Sir Prince even had to borrow the Princess’s V8 Merc to make it all the way to the run and get up the hills to the start.

Being on top of the hill the inevitable downhill leg started with a check and on back soon encountered followed by another up hill leg. Hard to put much into the description as similar to many of Sir Slab’s runs at Robina, one just seems to wonder back and forth with absolutely no idea where they are. Lots of bush, lots of bike paths, and of course lots of hills, though not the Blackstump “goes forever type”, just short and sharp.

Checks and arrows abounded as we continued through the night. It was hard to imagine how anyone could stray off such a well set course, however we always have serial offender, Flasher, in tow. He of the Hobbit build just has to go where no one else has gone before and runs right past double left “hard on” arrows and then has the audacity to yell out “are you on” as the rest of the pack easily follows the well set trail.

I would suggest that each week commences with an automatic icing of Flasher who would have, with very little doubt, somehow have missed the trail.
Back at base camp, and I do mean base camp, at some several thousand meters above the rest of the Gold Coast, the pack regroups to the free beers presented by birthday boys, Botulism and Sir Rabbit, as Latrine disappears, yet again into the night on his trusty tredly.

And speaking of tredlies much of the circle is spent on dishing out misdemeanours to those on the weekend 100km mountain bike ride down the Brisbane Valley, including numerous accidents and Flasher for trying the equivalent of rowing a bathtub around Cape Horn!
By the way, the nosh was a fine feast of de-boned chicken and speciality sauce with rice an veggies followed by raspberry tart and ice cream (I think), with many suggesting outsourcing via Mrs Cumagain.

The run was given a resounding 9/10 by both Caustic and Arse Up whilst Sir Rabbit gave the food great marks providing they were one less than his score of a few weeks ago meaning a paltry 6.5/10, it deserved better.

However it does make the race for the “run of the year score” very interesting. However Crocodile did complain about the walk saying they had to do it several times as they kept ending up at home.
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Down Downs:
Ringbark, Blackstump, Caustic (proxy for Latrine): Returning runners

Cumagain: Hare

Sir Prince: Hat in circle

Sir Prince: Prang at Esk on weekend trying to take out Hierarchy member (yours truly)

Missing Link: Prang at weekend

Flasher: Trying impossible feat on crap $89 Target bike

Crocodile: Prang on weekend, forgot to take foot of peddle

Sir Rabbit & Botulism; Birthday boys, thanks for the beers

Ferret: Assisting in updating records but writing Rainbow’s birthday as 31st February

Crocodile: Frivolous attempt at charging Sir Slab for affecting his golf game due to rigorous weekend

Caustic (alias/proxy for Latrine): & Missing Link: Not knowing location of “Mystery Foot”

Caustic (proxy for Latrine) & Rabbit (proxy for Caustic): being delinquents

Sir Slab was also presented with a rail spike from the rail trail for his efforts on the weekend

IMPORTANT HASH EVENTS:
1. BUDD’S BEACH BIKE RIDE, SUNDAY 2ND OCTOBER AT 09:30
BRING A CHAIR, ONLY $10.00 PER PERSON FOR A GREAT FEED,
DRINKS ON SALE AT USUAL ROCK BOTTOM PRICES
2. 3rd October, October fest run by Bent Banana, wear appropriate attire
3. 26th November: Hash pre Xmas cocktail evening with partners, get your frocks out
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On On from “The Desk”
Two Dogs

Run: 1767
Date: Monday 12th September 2011
Hare: Rectum
Venue: The Spit Main Beach
Runners: 34 + 1

Weeks to AGPU: 39
I keep saying this, but somehow another debacle was just avoided as Rectum stepped up to the plate to cover for Blowfly who had come up with some feeble excuse to avoid setting a run. How could the impending birth of your child be more important that Monday night at Hash?

It’s nearly as bad as staying away to celebrate a wedding anniversary. Anyhow the problems were just beginning as Rectum thought he had the quick fix sorted by negotiating with the local fish & chip shop for a bargain feed for 30+ athletes. However upon confirming at a later time, he found the person he had done the deal with was not there and no one knew of the event nor would they do the feed at the alleged price. After some nervous moments and smooth talking Rectum had saved his, well rectum, from an inevitable icing.

As we were on strict time limits we were quickly set on our way into very familiar grounds, it was just a mater of up the Spit to upset those that dwell amongst the bushes or down to Main beach to upset the local pimps and pros. Being told it was a seafood dinner we wondered whether the great Hierarchy had exceeded expectations and booked the Versace for dinner?

Or maybe at Saks, no onwards, possibly a seafood feast and open bar at Omeros brothers or Glass? We continued past these reputable venues and ran towards Fisherman’s Wharf, to start a fight some suggested. However upon sending in Cumsmoke as our decoy we discovered the on back and continued south to the Yacht Club.

Would I have to use my members card to get the rabble in for drinks at the bar? No onwards where the pack became confused and spread in all directions. Latrine, making a guest appearance, headed off to the south and soon returned sighting the on back. However he missed the on trail to the right and more confusion reigned. Fortunately, as often happens, the trail was rediscovered and we continued through the back streets emerging at the Surf Club for the run north along the beach path.

The actual trail headed down the beach but only a select few took the opportunity for the picturesque run alongside a moonlit ocean. Back on the path, and dangerously close to home, most of the pack turned left at the Mirage and headed for home. The remainder headed north to the Seaworld car park before turning back. A good run considering the difficult conditions.

The feed as expected was not as lavish as the Versace but at least next door (“pity the poor bloke paying $400 for the night listening to this lot”, Nasty commented), and the fish and chip feast was more than ample followed by ice cream on bread (as many had it).

Looking like a scene out of Alfred Hitchcock’s,” The Birds” we sat surrounded by the marauding seagulls ready to pounce on any discarded morsels or in fact any discarded Hasher.
AH was called for the nosh report and stated it could have been wrapped in newspaper and gave a 4/10 but this was upped to 5 upon appearance of the ice cream. Slab gave the run report saying it was well set and gave it a 5. A great effort at short notice, well done Rectum.
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Down Downs:
Prawn Star & Rainbow; Returning runners
John; Now named “Swindler” having worked or I“CON” Energy

Walkers were again called to notice by the RA and asked for their notes as to why they were walking. Crocodile quickly handed over a $20 and was excused, AH handed over his bank balance statement and was excused leaving Swindler and Kwakka to cop the down down

Mumbles; Not knowing left from right when asked to monitor the left handed drinkers

Crocodile & Missing Link; Drinking from wrong hand

Pizza & Cumsmoke; Double handed down downs for numerous charges as stated by Caustic including statements referring to the gay Hash, and I don’t mean happy Hash
Caustic; And iced for being a stool pigeon and laying charges in the first place

Nasty; As charged by rainbow for arriving at airport in Melbourne for flight but on the wrong day

Moonbeams; Trying to charge someone but backfired as he admitted to taking afternoon nap on a Monday

Lyn; Bilge Pumps missus showed up and partaking in a down down on Bilge’s behalf

Rectum; Hare
Cumsmoke; POW by Flasher for Gay aspirations. Footnote; With Caustic still on the ice it brought back memories of the past Hierarchy as all three exchanged abuses

IMPORTANT HASH EVENT:
BUDD’S BEACH BIKE RIDE, SUNDAY 2ND OCTOBER AT 09:30
BRING A CHAIR, ONLY $15.00 PER PERSON FOR A GREAT FEED,
DRINKS ON SALE AT USUAL ROCK BOTTOM PRICES

Annual Hash Relay
Since 1968 one of the highlights of hashing for us and many other Hashers has been the Annual Hash Relay. 
The 2012 Relay on 3/3/12 is planned to be ‘Off the Planet” with action centred in the Warrumbungles near the NSW Central West town of Coonabarabran.
Book your place in the GCHHH Team now

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On On from “The Desk”
Two Dogs