Author Archives: Botcho

Run 1746

Run: 1746
Hare: Old Fart
Location: Pacific Pines
Date: 18th May 2011

Short run.
Short circle.
Short trash.

The R/A’s powers have certainly left town !!!!! Maybe he needs to bring out the papal gowns again???? Rain ,Rain and more rain. No matter what our hare did down came the rain again and washed poor ippsy out. Down town Pac Pines was a deluge but that’s not unusual as it turns out for an Old Fart run …. seems the stats are 7 out of the last 8 of Old Fart’s runs have been wetttttttt.
Off into the wilds the pack of 16 went, with the occasional waft of Old Fart’s signature dish of beef lasagne drifting into their nostrils the pouring rain was just a minor deterrent to be back to generous helpings of this now famous dish. Up the obstacle course driveway made for mountain goats and out under the back shelter den looking more like an outdoor version of the Sir Rabbit bar and grill the trusty hash stalwarts gathered for their first and second helpings to the man. Followed at great expense by real choc wedges the pack were suitably replete.

Sit down circle in 2 minutes rings out at 8.01 pm.

8.03pm on the dot circle is called…..

Missing Link and KB get the love seat in the rain and get the tag “dumb and dumber” or was it Forrest and Gump???
HARE …. Old Fart.

Run report … Sir Slab … “Did well under the circumstances “ (means average job)

Roog ….. GM I went oooop stream then I went dooown stream before I went ooooooop stream agennn.

Point Two gives a note.

Nosh report….. Sir Prince …. signature dish now GM … but NO SPUDS ???

Sir Rabbit ….. EXCELLENT GM !!!!!

Circumference ( The multi millionaire in waiting) gives the note.

NO SPONSOR tonight announces the GM

Seems Show Pony’s about to be released cook book “ Salty vegetables and other tasty delights” is a strong contender to sponsor with sales expected to astound.
YELLOW CODE ….. “P” for Pimp GM say Rooog

The prize … a signed original copy of Botcho’s first wedding dvd.

R/A …. Charges .
Josephine steps up and tells the tale of the Hashman who engages a contractor to do an erection for him. Seems the posts at the front of the property are quite large and should be no problem to erect a gate between them even if the grass is a bit long. Post are minute , grass is overgrown to blazes and the poor contracted gets attacked by the resident Urbanville yowie … in his haste to escape he clobbers the biggest tree in the district and writes off his ute ( Sounds like a Link driver to me)
Point Two … front and centre.

The story unfolds that the local copper is called and discovers that fatigue is the obvious cause as NO ONE in Urbanville has ever been pissed at the wheel. Andrew the local contractor is such a law abiding son in-law that it must have been fatigue.

Josephine who delivered the spare caravan to Ubanville (stuff the flood victims) to be refurbished for Urbanville’s first ever mobile knock shop gives the note.
Cumagen charges Two Dogs for the best ever Restaurant f#@% up of all times , NO phone , restaurant closed and Goat Farka has flown all the way from Cairns to catch up and NO ONE is there except Two Dogs on his own .. so he went home ????????? Must have been past his curfew!!!

Cumagen gives the note.

Cumagen tables the TSS review magazine where it is divulged where all the Hash member’s investment capital into a certain high profile listed company may have been spent…. seems Sir Prince’s conscience has got to him so he has donated an entire new wing of the school to the needy children and their destitute parents from the TSS boys college. Photos to prove this extravagance are available from the Southport CIB.

Botcho’s RTS (Run Trading Scheme) is explained in great detail by our resident Hash Flash and IT guru Botcho. Like a carbon trading schemes this scheme seems destined to fail getting through the senate. Like any senate they seem to see no reason to support the slack pricks that have not got enough runs. ( Special dispensation can be sort from the hierarchy for extenuation circumstances … expect no sympathy vote) R/A Cumsmoke brings up the question of GST and run taxes ( Typical f@#$%$#% lawyer)

Finally it is resolved this RST thing was founded on the wrong day (1/4/2011) and should be scrubbed as a foolish joke.The Hierarchy all agreed that Botcho got us all hook, line and sinker. We have long memories Botcho!!! LOL

Reminder to register for the AGPU on 6/6/2011.

Circumference announces he not able to attend …. However he will be expecting to make a substantial donation from the megabucks out of court settlement coming from his life threatening experience in the Robina run.

Two Dogs announces skype contact with Semen in the Philippines somewhere on his way round the world to who knows where …. said to say “hello Hashers”
Sir Slab ……Announces the splinter lunch will be at Burleigh Heads at Celsius restaurant on the royal wedding day … wear your top hat and tails.

Next week’s run (5PM start) Moonbeams(with chewtherat delicacies ) Robina common soccer club.

2 nd MAY GCHHH anniversary run with run milestone anniversary presentations.
Where ………KB’s Country Estate … 647 Trees Road Tallebudgera .. On a good day you can see Sydney harbour.

When …. Any time from 4.30pm (public holiday) Hash tradition of a beer before will be available for those that choose for a 5.15 pm start.
Dress …. Hash formal … with Jacket (It gets a bit cold at 13,000 ft )

Strong suggestions…
1. Car pool with a designated driver if you can.
2. Allow 35- 40 Minutes from Surfers.
3. Next week I will give directions for both the quickest or scenic routes.

END OF CIRCLE …. It’s 8.45 … so much for the short circle.
A great night well done Old Fart!!

ON ON
KB.

RTS (run trading scheme)

Need more runs so that you can attend the AGPU? Help is not far away. The “RTS” (run trading scheme) is now being looked into. Ask the Hash Cash or Trail Master for details. I’m a little late posting this, should have been posted 1/4/2011. LOL

Run 1745

Run 1745
Hare: Mad Mike
Location: Dog Park. Mudgeeraba
Date: 11th April. 2011

Rain rain go away !!!!
Come again some other day !!!!
Sings the song of our R/A !!!

Mudgeeraba wilds are the backdrop for Mad Mike’s Mudgeeraba Madness …. On On into the rain heads a pack of 22 Hashers up hill and down dale through Mad Mike’s trail. Runners and walkers are back close together and a welcome cold beer under the same sized shelter as last week’s run keeps some of the pack dry.
Enough nosh for 40 hashers arrives after an extended time and portion control is in NO way needed. Beef stew with a touch of chilli over a bed of rice followed by chocolate sponge cake even stops our R/A after 4 serves.

Circle in 5 minutes rings out at 8.30pm.

CIRCLE …. Its 8.35pm

Shut the f%$# up !!!!! Flasher is getting cut !!!

Two Dogs announces the sublimely obvious …. “It’s raining GM “

HARE …. Mad Mike
“Lovely to have you back in town” announces GM Flasher.

“ Are you coming each week from now on ?????” YES GM !!!!!

NOSH report …. Josephine says “way over standard GM …….“ How will my pathetic hamburgers ever keep up with this ???
Ferret protests “No spuds GM “ …. bloody good job !!!!

Botcho offers the note.

RUN report …….. Ferret claims an injury likely to hamper his sex life and numerous SCBs …. confessing to being a SCB himself with VERY little of the run completed.
Bent Banana … commented on the new arrow style …Hmmmmmmmmmmm !
Cumsmoke gives the note.

RETURNING RUNNERS…. Mad Mike, Now Loved, Missing Link and Croc.

Croc been on an obesity tour GM!!!!

Now Loved on bereavement leave in Sydney GM!!!!

Mad Mike been getting over an accident 12 months ago GM !!!! But I’m back !!

Mi$$$$$$ing link been making megabucks in the Iza GM .. spent most of in Thailand GM looking for interpreters ???????

RUG gives the note.

YELLOW CODE …… Circumference nails it !!! “B” for Botcho GM.

The R/A is next……….
The hare Mad Mike is back for holding the run in a catchment area ……. nothing to do with the failed powers of the R/A ????????

CHARGES….. Miscarriage claims one our hashers has crossed the line on rule one ……. seems Josephine is into poetry cross-dressing and World War 2 hookers …….. “Not Me “ he protests!! Hmmmmmmm !!
Rug gives the note.

POW Sir Prince nominates half the attendees for POW ……

Botcho for spilling beer on the prince’s new shows,

Blackstump for laughing at poor Botcho getting his first icing,

Caustic for icing Botcho, a hard working non Hierarchy Hasher,

Missing Link, Sir Rabbit, KB and Miscarriage are all nominated.

Caustic gets the POW and takes two hopeless goes at downing it … a very poor effort for a Scot!!!

Sir Prince tells the story of getting Princess brownie points by flying to Melbourne and hiring a car to travel half way across the state to visit ma in-law for her 95th birthday …. all to get “F%$# off I’m busy playing cards” $3,000 and two stuffed up flight bookings The Prince blows the brownie points in one hit …. something to do with “Stupid old fart” or similar comment.
Missing link calls ,,,,,, END OF CIRCLE …..

its 8.55PM Another Hash record and Two Dogs goes home happy!!!!

Pssst ……..A NEW campaign for GM is looming ….. Croc has Nathan Tinckler in toe and the price of votes is sky rocketing …. seems flights to the football in Sydney are on offer too. Aussie says can’t buy me !!!!! I’m a Suns supporter through and through …. “ But how much are you paying ?????? “
Morgan Gallop poll results to be published next week.

DIARY Note ……………. Anniversary Milestone Awards dinner run ….. KBs Country estate Tallebudgera……on 2nd May ( The public holiday so a 5pm start) Numbers are essential let Caustic or Missing Link know please.
Hash formal with Jacket dress code ….. Bonfire Bar B Q and KBs catering.

On On!!
KB.

Run 1744

Run 1744
Hare: Ferret
Location: Mermaid Beach
Date: 4th April, 2011

Seems the Australian surf live-saving association didn’t realise Ferret’s run was on when they set the location for the Australian titles 2011.
Ferret being an obliging individual shifts his run to opposite the surf club 5 kilometres further south. Cater for about 25 should do it says run master Caustic, 27,28, 29 S#%@ …………. still they came 30,31. F&%@

32 ….. 33 Ferret calls KB … Portion control…. Portion control !!!!!
On On off into the rain the pack heads out along a trail between the beach and 5 kilometres west. SCBs are in excess with many back not long at all after the start.
Ferret’s concerns for portion control are unfounded as the corned beef, spuds, carrots, peas and parsley sauce make the grade with 1 and ½ slices left over. Sweets follow and Ferret has re-written the book on loaves and fishes.

CIRCLE…… 8.05 pm

Before any festivities proceed the R/A is ordered to join GM Flasher in the driving rain to prove the R/A’s complete failure of his duties.
A line of hashers nothing like a circle gather under the small shelters dodging the rain as best they can.
RUN REPORT …… Circumference …. “Not bad” Old Fart …“plenty of SCB’s GM”
Including Sir Prince GM !!!!!!

NOSH REPORT ……. Sir Rabbit …. “Not much of it … Mustard a bit hot !!”

Show Pony …. “No seconds” 4/10 GM.

SIR PRINCE VALIANT … special announcement ….. New shoes after 15 years!!!

Hash tradition continues and SPV drinks from the shoe …. even though he didn’t wear them first!!!!
Circumference gives a note.

VISITORS…… Victorian father of the Miscarriage twins… sadly a Carlton supporter.
Young Darwin Don from Sydney
Mr Chips … back after many years.
Veteran gives the note.

Caustic calls for A MAJOR CHARGE …. An ICING in fact.
Seems Caustic put the run tally into the computer and published the results …..
CABOOM !!!!!!!! Complaints came within minutes….

An official audit reveals that our Botcho has stripped 200 runs off Blackstump’s tally wiping out almost a quarter of his 825 runs.
After boisterous protest Botcho’s bleating fails and our Botcho is on the ice for the first in his Hash life.
Caustic stutters over a very lengthy nooooooooooooote.
Run counts are now on our web site!!!!

Next up is RUG
RUG gets a call from his old employer ( never to leave the service) MI6 straight from the UK.
“ Need your support for a special visit”

Our RUG jumps the task and polishes up all his MI6 skills for the task.
Prowling the entire Gold Coast region RUG finally spots the target!!!!

A royal wave is spotted from the undercover vehicle and our RUG is on the case ….. Sir Prince waves again from the 4×4 and our RUG has completed yet another undercover mission justifying his six figure annuity.

Rug gives Sir Prince the note.

R/A is up next ….. CHARGES …. Nil !!!

POW … Pizza apologises for his 2 extra prick weeks. 3 minutes of bullshit follows as Pizza endeavours to justify everything.
Mid way through the POW tails a random farter strikes evacuating the Northern shelter in 3 seconds.
SIR PRINCE gets the POW for one pair of shoes in 15 years.

Pizza gives a note.

Sir Prince takes 8 (yes eight) goes to drop the POW DD going to a clear last place in the DD stakes.
Moonbeams ….. “where have you been?” asks GM Flasher.
“Driving to Sydney with Chew the rat ?????”

Yes GM !!!!

Circumference jumps the gun on “End of circle” and gets a DD
Moonbeams gives the note.

YELLOW CODE ….. Bent Banana gets “G” in one go.

NEXT WEEK’S RUN … Mad Mike in Mudgeeraba somewhere.
Sir AH offers fresh chillis.

Moonbeams calls …… END OF CIRCLE …. It’s 8.50 pm and it’s raining again.

Botcho for GM campaign moves into higher gear … seems buying votes is now hot on the list….. get in quick while the money lasts.
Rockhard appears to have terminated Caustic as campaign manager something to do with insider trading with bookmakers ??????

OnOn
KB.

PS ….Apologies I’m soooooooooooo late with the words Hashers, been away most of the week on a Marlin Fishing comp and didn’t get the chance to do them before I went.
Rgds KB

They are coming

URGENT WARNING FOR TOMORROW
Im hoping this will make you all smile in the midst of our current chaotic world……..
ALIENS ARE COMING TO EARTH TOMORROW.
THEIR MISSION IS TO
ABDUCT ALL GOOD LOOKING, SEXY OLD Hash House Harriers.
I’M JUST MAILING YOU THIS TO SAY GOODBYE.
I’ve got to pack.