Run: 1780
Date: Monday 12th December 2011
Hare: Blackstump
Venue: Blackstump Ranch
Runners: 25

Weeks to AGPU: 26
After some heavy rain Blacky did a quick check of the intended run site at Clagiraba Forrest and decided to spare us from a painful evening slogging through hills and slush and water. Instead he opted for the safe bet and started us from the ever popular ranch site. We headed down the road and after the 500 metre warm up on Blacky’s driveway we soon spotted the first check.
I had seen the arrows on the drive in and instinctively headed left only to be called back and told by the Hare to run up the hill towards the golf course, bugger as I passed Ferret and the walkers (and I think Swollen). Up the first hill then down to the left we went before again turning left to where I was some 5 minutes before. Through the new estate, opposite what is also likely to be another new sub division, “Black Stump Acres”.

More hills and past the stunned kangaroos we ran before rejoining the main drag. Not for long though as the runners departed again to the right up through the bush and into more back streets. A few more hills and checks and we soon emerged at Alexander Drive where I had also spotted arrows on our way to the run. Bent Banana was already onto it and calling on as Flasher, Rectum and Swollen (I think disappeared across the road).

We ran past “Miscarriage World” before emerging again on Gilston Road for the solid and hilly run home. Bent Banana and I were surprised to see Cumsmoke in hot pursuit and vainly trying to be a front runner.
A nice 40 minute run but given the hills and humidity I think most thought it was more than adequate. However there is always one exception and again serial offender Flasher, on the most simple and well marked of trails, still managed to run his own race and disappeared into Miscarriage World with some feeble excuse he only went in to check the state of some dodgy buildings he had something to do with. Where is the ice I ask?

The nosh was not the announced surprise horse meat requiring all to bring sharp knives but instead it was back to the tried and proven spag boll and garlic bread followed by tarts and ice cream. A nice feed as described by Sir Prince and given a worthy 7.5/10.
Aussie gave the run report but it was with some suspicion that he may not even have done it, however he did say it ws not long enough and gave it a 7.5/10. The walk as commented on by Swindler was also given a 7.5 with it being long, lots of hills and well marked.

The circle involved some suspect behaviour, which I hope does not make u-tube as it involved suspect notes and singing, along with public spankings, what ever happened to rule #1 infringements?
Slab announced news of another relay event to be held early next year (March), and we have been invited to enter a team ( about 12 – 15 required). More news to come.
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Down Downs;
Blackstump; Hare

Truck Tyre, Swollen & Swindler; Returning runners

Bent Banana; Screwing up note

Truck Tyre & Swindler; Not bringing gifts for GM from Thailand and Phillipines tours

Caustic & Show Pony; Wrong hand and failing to note respectively

Flasher; False accusation on Rug

Arseup; Drink around neck and not in correct hand

Caustic & Ferret; Parking infringements in Blacky’s driveway

Cumsmoke; “Paddle” theft

Caustic; Upsetting Ferret on early morning cycle past his home

Sir Rabbit; Holy Grail award (Most runs)

Ferret; For beating Crocodile at golf, thus upsetting him and hence not showing up with Crownies

Rug; Forgetting POW again, but came up with a cracker poem

——————————————————————————————————————- REMEMBER NEXT WEEK CHRISTMAS RUN. WEAR USUAL RED SANTA WEAR. STARTS FROM BUDDS BEACH OPPOSITE GM’S PALACE AT 5:15PM. $20 FOR 5+ RUN MEMBERS $50 FOR OTHERS. RUN WILL NOT FINISH ANYWHERE NEAR START FOR THOSE CONTEMPLATING BRINGING VEHILCES.
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On On from “The Desk”
Two Dogs

Run: 1779
Date: Monday 5th December 2011
Hare: Sir Slab & Sir Prince Valiant
Venue: Robina Cricket Oval
Runners: 24

Weeks to AGPU: 27
The skies looked ominous and the summer warmth was replaced by a somewhat winter chill, however a good pack of 24 eager runners still showed to what is normally a premium evening event. With the RA working overtime keeping the rains at bay a number of the runners hurriedly offered their services in staying back to help Sir Prince prepare the evening’s feast, thus doubting the RA’s ability.
Caustic lead the pack off dressed in his fluoro orange work wear obviously just coming off a council work site somewhere. We ran across the road in the usual direction but it was not long before looped back towards the start. Over the road and north towards somewhat unfamiliar grounds.

It was only just into the run but serial offender, Flasher, already decided to run past the arrows (wasn’t even a check or on back), and merrily ran his own run, as he does and once again showing a total disregard for the Hare. When are we going to ice this guy!

We emerged from under the bridge again close to home, maybe too close for some, as we then headed west towards the distant Skilled Park. Around the back of the houses through some soft ground and we finally emerged at the Titan’s home ground.

We continued around the stadium and back into more shiggy and soft tracks. I managed to front run and find the distant On Back and decided it was a good time to stop for a leak, however, before doing so I forgot to tell Veteran it was an On Back, much to his disgust.

Slab, following on his bike, managed to keep the diminishing pack on trail, which continued further around the stadium and, south under the road and around the school before emerging near the Robina Town Centre.
It was then through the station and towards the familiar, or so we thought, track home. We managed to run a number of false trails before finding the right trail and the good run home.
Back at home base we found the number of volunteer cooks had swelled with KB, Aussie, Ferret and Botcho all in the mix assisting resident Master Chef, Sir Prince.
We also noted that our tables had been moved due to the arrival of the cricket club members for their meetings. How dare the cricket club invade our privacy holding a meeting at their club house during cricket season! However a few free feeds to several hovering cricket club members ensured we were welcome to stay.

The fine nosh consisted of soup, sweat & sour pork stir fry followed by lychees (cleaning out the local Asian supermarket at exorbitant expense to the Hash) and ice cream. jigsaw gave the nosh a deserved 8.5/10 stating “it doesn’t get any better that this”.

Bent Banana gave the run report an equal mark of 8.5/10 adding it was a good run and well marked. VD gave the walk trail the same accolades.
Of note too was the return of the King, Elvis, seen handing out dodgy T-shirts with hash spelt “Hasn”. Returning runner, BB, from the wilds of Laos gave a sales pitch on his magic pills worthy of the real Peter Foster, not the GM one. As always a great night again by the Sir’s.

Down Downs;
Sir Slab & Sir Prince; Hares
BB & Elvis; Returning runners
Botcho; Allegedly “seeing things” at post Splinter Hash entertainment
Sir Prince; Finding suspect venue following Splinter Hash
Ferret; Being first to enter above mentioned suspect venue
Flasher; Serial offender, doing own run yet again
Caustic; Noted riding home on Hare’s bike
Rug; Last to pay,again
Ferret; Charged by Cumsmoke for excessive “back seat driving” following Splinter Hash
Rug; For forgetting to bring POW, too well hidden and can’t remember where

DON’T FORGET CHRISTAMAS RUN ON 19TH DECEMBER, 5:15 START AT BUDDS BEACH, WEAR YOUR RED SANTA GEAR

On On from “The Desk”
Two Dogs

Run: 1778
Date: Monday 28th November 2011
Hare: Arseup & Sir Rabbit
Venue: Park @ Benowa
Runners: 31

Weeks to AGPU: 28

The call went to fill in for Now Loved’s run and many an offer came forth, which is fantastic and what hash is all about. Sir Rabbit offered to do the Nosh and Arseup offered to set a run, remembering all at short notice. The venue was the somewhat now familiar park behind Benowa Road. Arseup advised that the run was all on chalk, tipping us off that this was heading to pretty much familiar roads, paths and drains that abound these parts. We were also further told that the arrows had been tampered with, and thus emerged many theories of possible sabotage.

The good size pack took off into the steamy conditions and we soon found ourselves crossing Benowa Road and heading east along the well worn drain headed by regular early front runner, Flasher. The trail continued towards the east.

After a couple of checks and a regroup, ignored by Flasher, we soon ended up backtracking along the canal and in to the realms of the racecourse stable area. Rumblings could be heard in the pack regarding the lack of on backs and trails just finishing. At the back of the stables Rectum and I, running a check, lost the scent but soon picked up the scent of the horse manure and decided our best avenue was to cut through the stables and rejoin the group somewhere around the racecourse.

To our surprise the trail did not head South to Ashmore Road but North and further away from home. I suspect by the direction a few returned that they too thought this was the way home.
We found the trail and caught up to the Hare and Mumbles sweeping the trail. We also somehow managed to catch front runner, Flasher, who no doubt had once again run his own trail and got lost. After a long run, a couple of loops and a nasty little hill on Heeb Street we again emerged at Benowa Road and headed South towards home, some finding the path to the park with others running in on the out trail. A hard 55 minute slog in humid conditions.

The Nosh consisted of garlic bread, green salad, pasta capricosa. This was finished with ice cream blocks served by Arseup, during the circle, from the famous Sir Rabbit’s musical vending contraption thus silencing the wingers who had complained about no dessert being served with dinner.

Mumbles gave the food report saying it was good but there were no tomatoes with the salad and gave it a stiff 5/10 (prior to knowing about the dessert) so another 1 will be added. The run report by myself was more praising than others who complained about no on backs and dodgy arrows but given it was a last minute fill in effort I gave it a 6.5/10.

We also heard that the 28th of November was the anniversary of arrival for several of our immigrant members being Rug (6 years), Caustic (23 years) and Mumbles (43 years I think). It was suggested we should have a joint annual run featuring Haggis as the Nosh, warm Pommy beer and a run shrouded in secrecy.

Now loved has also been given an all clear, which is great news and a well deserved early Christmas present. Dicky Knee has also returned with the Melbourne weather finally getting to him.
The Saturday night Cocktail Party at Bumbles Cafe was also mentioned with over 50 attending and a great night had by all and hopefully now an annual event.

Down Downs:
Ross, Dicky Knee, Rock Hard & Swindler; Visitor and returning runners

Arseup & Sir Rabbit; Hares

Kwakka; Failing in his left hand monitoring duties several weeks ago

Ross; Not singing

Crocodile; No crownies brought for birthday, we still await

Rug, Caustic & Mumbles; Immigrant anniversary

Mumbles; Failing to own up as returning runner

Rug; POW (by Old Fart) for failing to call on during run
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REMEMBER SPLINTER HASH THIS FRIDAY 2ND DECEMBER AT BENOWA GARDENS CHINESE. HOST IS MAD MIKE. 12 NOON FOR 12:30. BYO

On On from “The Desk”
Two Dogs