Run: 1765
Date: Monday 29th August 2011
Hare: Sir AH
Venue: Off Nerang M’Bah Rd Nerang

Runners: 28

Weeks to AGPU: 42

Oh what a difference a trailer makes! Freed from the shackles of hosting runs from parks with BBQ’s in Labrador and suburbia in general, it was great to see the return of the trailer and a run set in the bush.

Of course with the return of the trailer we also got to ask the now familiar question, ‘How many Hashers does it take to light a BBQ?’ With 6:15 fast approaching and half the pack still stuffing around with the gas, (Where is Seamen when you need him?), the GM called the group together and due to the daunting nature of the surrounding hills and bushland, called on the RA to bless the run. The RA provided a blessing for the Run and the Hare, but unfortunately forgot to bless the poor little Skippy found mid-trail with an arrow up its arse.

Following some very sparse direction from Sir AH the pack took off for the hills, then some more hills, followed by some more hills, then finally the last few hills before returning home. (If ya haven’t got the point by now, all I can remember is there were lots of fucking hills!)

Back at the On On venue the BBQ was finally alight thanks to Pizza dodging the run and heading back to town to buy some matches. The table that Sir AH had meticulously set up for the hierarchy was quickly populated by ‘next year would be committee members’, and yes, we have your names. The Nosh consisted of red and yellow curries served with rice, and apple strudel and custard for desert.

The Circle.

Down downs commenced with Now Loved (returning runner) and Bum Crack (a visitor).
The GM noted a special thank you to Old Fart for bringing the trailer, and to Pizza for going off to get the matches.

Sir Slab provided a run report and noted that the run was well marked, was a return to some good serious hashing, and slightly undulating. Score – 8/10

KB provided the Nosh report and noted there was no need for portion control, however that may have been due to Cumsmoke being absent. Score – 8/10

Further Down Downs went to – Sir AH ( Hare), Flasher ( not recognising Sir Ah’s 100th run),

Nasty and Cumagain (returning runners), Missing Link (drinking from left hand), Rug (not reporting Link’s indiscretion),

Moonbeams for sitting near the head of the hierarchy table.

Caustic took the floor and detailed the plight of some poor bastard who needs to give $70M to registered charities. So if you know a legitimate registered Australian charity that can help him out, speak with Caustic.

Sir Rabbit provided a report on the Splinter lunch and the much anticipated launch of the new shirt.

POW was carried over (or maybe it’s been carried off to Urbenville?)

The GM then asked Caustic where the foot was located in last week’s words. He didn’t have a fucking clue so he asked Pizza, Nuh, then Link, Nuh, then Cumagen, then Arseup, Rug, Sir Rabbit, Moonbeams,……. What a fucking debacle this has turned into! Finally Sir Slab restored order by providing the correct answer and the mammoth Down Down commenced.

On a more sombre note, Rectum addressed the circle and advised that he and Pizza had been working with a group to raise funds for an orphanage in Cambodia. After giving a small insight into the plight of these poor little beggars, a hat was passed round for anyone who wished to help this cause and make a donation. With the committee throwing in $100 we collectively donated $250.50. Well done everyone.

With no further business, Moonbeams was finally called on to end the circle.

All in all, an excellent traditional Hashing night so thanks again to Sir AH.

PLEASE NOTE; Due to your glorious Hierarchy’s ability to manage funds, the weekly food contribution has now risen to $135.00 (which includes the fact you do not pay the $15.00 on the night). However if you do not spend the full amount please don’t claim it as we will know by the quality and quantity of food and launch an immediate enquiry, and subsequent reprisals.

In the event you have a great event/idea planned and wish to spend above the allocated amount you must pre arrange this with the Hash Cash, Blackstump, who will kindly advise you to go “jump” (or on very rare occasions consider your request). Nights at pubs/restaurants will attract a $5.00 fee.

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Run: 1764
Date: Monday 22nd August 2011
Hare: Ferret
Venue: Ferret’s abode, Mermaid Beach
Runners: 26

Weeks to AGPU: 43
The debacles continue. The RA, after working overtime on Sunday controlling the inclement weather, decided not to attend on Monday thus causing unprecedented driving rain, quickly destroying any possible attempt by Ferret to set a run.
I’m sure he’s thrilled his run was swapped around. The venue was quickly cancelled and the reasonable crowd (obviously no one has a life on Mondays bar Hash) made their way to Ferret’s abode to dry and protected surrounds (and a chance to raid his wine cabinet).
Fortunately Sir Point Two, on his last drive for the Northern Alliance arrived just in time otherwise we would have been no wiser to the venue change and would have been forced to an evening of beers at the Kurrawa Surf Club or similar (pity about that).

The rain was still pouring, and the free Becks was flowing for Ferret’s birthday, as a small pack of 7 runners departed. This consisted of Blackstump, who after his Hawaii trip and having to endure the hardship of economy class, decided the North Burleigh Surf Club was enough.

The second pack of Rock Hard, Missing link and myself decided to time our run in order to return by 7:15pm, in true Hash tradition and turned near Burleigh central. And the final pack of over achievers of Miscarriage, Rectum and Bent Banana, decided that the entry to Burleigh Hill was the mark.

Apparently Miscarriage, still hyped up from his grovelling, snout troughing session at his stadium opening in Mackay, suggested they continue through the park, only to see it fall on deaf ears. Rectum thought he was lost on the way home but fortunately he could home in on the constant drone of Cumsmoke’s ramblings.

Back at the Ferret cave the group marvelled at his collection of ropes (one can only guess what for), number plates (must have worked on them on the inside) and cruise ship certificates (seeming to indicate he keeps going in circles). I also noted that there were some 15 odd awards, hanging on the wall for Romeo (Mrs Ferret), showing her success at real estate and obviously the bread winner for many many years.
The nosh consisted of tomato soup, gourmet “Barry” burgers and birthday cake, which received a very high 8.5 mark from Cumsmoke, who of course consumed some three burgers and god knows what else. Veteran of course had to have a “right of reply” after having Ferret suggest his nosh lacked something and mentioned the beetroot and lettuce were superb. Cumsmoke also gave the “no” run report giving it a .5/10 as there were no marks, not long enough and generally nothing to speak of.

It was also noted that Ferret had donned his “pixie” pantomime boots and Elvis made a sneaky exit passing on his apologies to myself.

And finally Show Pony offered a prize of a carton of Crownies to whoever came up with a suitable name to his new boat, which he intends to sell and start on another one, go figure (and good luck getting the beer from him). As usual nothing stops the Hash from having a good night regardless of the conditions, well done to all.
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Down Downs:
Ferret: Hare
Blackstump & Dennis: Returning runners

Caustic: Couldn’t identify location of the “mystery” foot

Caustic: Internet cock up with Flasher, plus failed to give Cumsmoke a lift (allegedly). Awarded “Internet for Dummies” book by Flasher

Ferret: “Vice” Council citation noted hanging on his wall (AKA Porn King)

Sir Point Two: POW as awarded by Crocodile for not showing up at Botcho’s after confirming

Miscarriage & GM: Charge to GM for bringing visitor with new shoes

Hash Event Notice: Sunday 11th September is the second Budd’s Beach to Spit bike ride and BBQ, all welcome. Details to come.
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On On from “The Desk”
Two Dogs