Run: 1771
Date: Monday 10rd October 2011
Hare: Rock Hard
Venue: Mudgeeraba
Runners: 29

Weeks to AGPU: 35
We passed Hungry Jacks on the way to the venue and wondered whether this would be tonight’s dining extravaganza, given the debacle which ensured following
Rock Hard’s previous run. However the Hash being a forgiving lot still turned out in good numbers hoping for better than KFC vouchers, and something more like crabs and lobsters.
After the hare’s instructions saying it was all on chalk, the pack headed off into the west along the busy main drag. Before long, however, Rock Hard had us off the main road and into the back streets and then into the depths of beyond along the nice bike paths through the lush surrounds.

The windy trail provided a short cutters paradise as following runners could spot the torches of the lead hounds and soon cut across and catch the pack, another novel way of keeping the pack together.

Swollen lead the pack for much of the first part and he soon lead us down a dodgy path to a dead end deck where the ever increasing numbers kept running and calling those behind. It was in fact the on back of all on backs with virtually the whole pack caught out.

Fortunately Veteran was not in attendance as he would have been horrified by such a callous act, what is this Hash coming to?

The paths eventually lead us to the bridge near Hardy’s road where we feared we might head up into the big back hills. Fortunately the trail continued on the eastern side of the creek as another good number of the pack got caught out at the on back at the top of the hill. Latrine had found us on his pushy and emerged from the shadows, yet again for another of his now becoming common guest appearances.

I’m sure he now hangs out in phone boxes leaping out in his Hash attire at any opportune moment. Inevitably we eventually ran along the pipe line and emerged at more back streets where the runners and walkers were sent on their separate ways.

I noted we ran down Moonbeams Parade but he was no where to be seen, another Hasher on tour. The final run leg saw us emerge near nude follies park to the sight of the full moon (thoughtfully signed by the Hare to look up at the right moment) and then past the cemetery, or the dead end of town.

The front runners, Rectum, Cumagain and Botulism were busy trying to increase their forthcoming V8 race handicaps. After some 55 minutes the runners and walkers arrived together on what was an excellent run in good territory and well marked.

The run report by Rectum was a glowing report of a good run with lots of checks and arrows but still gave it a hard mark of 6/10, but by applying the GM’s maths equation this was upped to 7/10. Rainbow also commented on it being a good stroll.

The nosh (Chilli beef and rice plus ice cream for dessert) report started with Botcho, then to Pile Driver who commented on still being hungry, Cumsmoke saying it was shit, KB complaining about the minuscule portion control and finally by Rabbit who gave it a worthy 6/10. A good all round effort with redemption on the horizon!
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Down Downs:

Sir Cumference & Prawn Star; Returning runners

Rock Hard; Hare

Rainbow; Flatulence event on run, in front of GM

Rectum; First non Hierarchy present at major on back event

Cumagain; Putting plastic plate on BBQ

Rock Hard; Organising to pick up fellow Hashers for lift but then forgetting to do so

Nasty & Show Pony; For not knowing whereabouts of foot

AH; Knowing whereabouts of foot

Cumsmoke and Caustic; As charged by Botulism for them being on Mixed hash Hierarchy and then complaining about Men’s hash

Cumsmoke; For wearing new gay purple shoes

Rectum; Birthday boy form last week and aborted sky diving effort

Pile Driver; POW from caustic for complaining about being still hungry (fill him up with beer he figured)

IMPORTANT HASH EVENT:
– 17th October Gold Coast 600, V8 Super Car annual handicap challenge

– 26th November: Hash pre Xmas cocktail evening with partners, get your frocks out

On On from “The Desk”
Two Dogs

Run: 1770
Date: Monday 3rd October 2011
Hare: Bent Banana – Oktoberfest Extravaganza
Venue: Von Trap Mansion – Munichrarra
Runners: 44

Weeks to AGPU: 36
Das grosse numbers of das Herrs, das commandants and das dumbkopfs gathered at the Von Trap Manor for the highly anticipated Oktoberfest event. Der panzers parked all over the Manor’s immaculately kept grounds particularly the 4 wheel drive versions. Unfortunately there were no signs of the of the much anticipated fraulines with the grosse knockers (perhaps something to do with last weeks budget, or the Hash Cash needs another holiday soon)

Are you getting the drift here guys? Finally we were set on our way by the hare with the usual briefing of the usual sorts in possibly very usual terrain. The pressure was on, as a number of Brisbane Hashers had been invited under the guise of this being a top notch event run by a top notch Hash, sounds like a real estate agent spiel to me.
Anyway we set off across the road from Gracelands (aka Von Trap manor) and over into the neighbours yard, down the side, across the paddock and finally emerging at Nerang Broadbeach road. We then headed east before hitting the on back, which then lead us down the side of the golf course and into the swamp lands of Carrara, soon the new home of the Gold Coast Show. The pack zig zagged through the scrub, trees and creek crossings to emerge at the back streets and hills of the burbs.

However it wasn’t long before we ventured back into the scrub to trudge our way through the soft and soggy grounds. It seemed like we were going in endless circles but somehow we emerged back onto the road just in time to meet with the walking group and join in for the kilometre or so run home. A great well set and marked run venturing through new turf and keeping the pack well together. A well deserved 9/10 mark as given by Charred Arse.

The gathering back at the manor was enough to get any neo Nazi or white supremacist salivating until such time they found out the real truth behind the many strange get ups, particularly those of Sir AH, Josephine, Sir Rabbit, Caustic and the GM himself.

This fine ensemble resembled the cast of Hogans Heroes as they would look if still all around today. The nosh organised by Swollen and Jigsaw was a fine fair of meat balls, German sausage, sauerkraut, spuds, chook left over from the bike ride on Sunday and finished with fine strudel and ice cream. Also worthy of the 9/10 mark given by our Brisbane visitors.

Host Bent Banana had laid out his finest antique furniture for all to enjoy the outdoor dining experience, accompanied by the soothing German music in the back ground. At my end of the table we were entertained by Pizza’s commentary on how to make red wine from woe to go, all good except I forget to write it all down, no doubt the CD will be out soon.
Swollen ran the German trivia contest with Old Fart winning the priceless photo collection, which will no doubt soon appear on e-bay.

The RA also gave the pleasing news that Sir Point Two has decided not to run for Mayor of Urbenville but instead become a neighbour of the RA in the hills near Killarney.

What a great night, great run, great circle, great nosh, great venue and of course great company but where was the frauline that appeared in the photos?
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Down Downs:
Visitors and returning runners; including numerous Brisbane types along with Miscarriage and Flatulence

Shetland, Sir Slab, Sir Prince, Flasher & Ferret; Leaving on tours of duty (Sweden & Thailand)

Bent Banana: Hare

Jigsaw & Swollen; Cooks

Rugstein; Suspected spy infiltrating event and changing citizenship as a cover

Arseup; Drinking from wrong hand

Pizza; Parking Ute at front door of manor and ruining ambience of event (I thought his mere presence did that)

Miscarriage; Update on recent travels

Rectum; Wrong hand infringement

Caustic; Falling picture incident

Veteran; Falling over and hitting head incident

Dennis; Now known as Pile Driver

Charred Arse; For something to do with above mentioned naming

Caustic: As stand in for Phantom re visitor incident at Splinter lunch

Caustic; POW, because he’s just Caustic

**Anything above to referred to as “incident” means further details are available from those involved in said incidents **

IMPORTANT HASH EVENT:
– 17th October Gold Coast 600, V8 Supercar annual handicap challenge
– 26th November: Hash pre Xmas cocktail evening with partners, get your frocks out

On On from “The Desk”
Two Dogs 